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Leprechaun (1993)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Mark Jones

Starring:
Warwick Davis/Leprechaun
Jennifer Aniston/Tori
Ken Olandt/Nathan
Mark Holton/Ozzie
PLOT-CRUNCH
An annoying evil Leprechaun (Davis) terrorizes a group of morons because he wants his gold back and Jennifer Aniston runs a lot.
THE LOWDOWN
This is one stupid movie. You’ll go one way or the other with this puppy. You’ll either love the Leprechaun, find him hilarious or you’ll want to grab a Colt 45 and shoot your TV. I’m part of the latter group of gore fiends. God, did that pesky pest get to me! First off, did I really need to see the green joker hop on every small transportation vehicle known to man? At all. Roller-skates? Check. Skateboard? Check. Toy car? Check. Wheelchair? Check. Pogo stick? Check. Did Jones write his script with a damn checklist? Sure felt like it.

Another thing that bothered me is that none of the main characters die. Don’t worry, I’m not ruining it for anybody because you’ll know by the first fifteen minutes that they’re all going to make it. Only the fat idiot (Holton) was up for grabs but they spared his dumb arse too. The murders are only inflicted upon side characters who have the word "victim" stamped on their forehead. Too bad…they all deserved to die in my book.

Yes, the principal players all live and unfortunately for us they’re dumb as f**k. One puts his hand in a hole trying to grab a suspected rabid cat (huh?). One shoots the Leprechaun and then gets real close to him to see if he’s dead (great move, he’s a freaking Leprechaun dumb arse!). One swallows a gold coin (you guessed it, the fat guy) and for some reason two of them decide to paint this crusty old house bright red and blue. What were they smoking? Don’t even get me started on the dialogue…(a hint: the "faith" speech…puke…)

The film’s main problem is that it tries so hard to be funny that it becomes infantile. If the Leprechaun had been straight out evil (Chucky style) it might've worked for me. But the movie laughs at him instead of with him. I will admit finding the Leprechaun’s obsession with cleaning shoes pretty funny though. That cracked my arse up. But one good thing can’t save this piece of trash.

The movie is too childish to be funny and too dumb to be scary. What stands for plot is the Leprechaun singing stupid rhymes, playing peek-a-boo and saying "where’s my pot of gold" way too many times. I felt like I was watching "Barney" with some bloodshed. In my opinion, the Leprechaun can take his pot of gold and stick it up his green arse! Four leaf clover this, beeyatch!
GORE
The Leprechaun takes a beating. Cut off hand, stick in the eye. We get lots of red but it looks more like strawberry jam than blood. I have to comment on the death by pogo stick… Come on! How much does this little bugger weight? Silly in a bad way.
ACTING
I’m sure Warwick Davis (Leprechaun) had a blast playing this role…too bad I didn’t, while watching him do it. Shut up already! Jennifer Aniston (Tori) handles herself ok. I don’t know how she kept a straight face. Ken Olandt (Nathan) lets his biceps do most of the acting and slides comfortably through the rest. Mark Holton (Ozzie) not only plays the token fat guy but he plays the token dumb fat guy. Will we ever see a horror flick where the fat guy acts like a grown man and not a little whiny baby? Robert Hy Gorman (Alex) plays the token kid but this one swears and asks for a beer. LOL! NOT! He does ok with what he has to do.
T & A
Nothing but the director sure likes to focus on Aniston’s ass when she runs.
DIRECTING
Jones gets a few good shots in there but overdoes it on the tilted angles. His use of slow motion is also questionable (corny as hell). And so his use of fast motion. What was up with the lighting in this flick? Were they aiming for all the colors in the rainbow? Didn’t work for me. And I really didn’t appreciate the "Nightmare On Elm Street" rip off scene? Remember the Freddy tongue scene in NOES? It’s remade here but with a twist. Let's just say that it doesn’t work. Wes Craven should feel insulted.
SOUNDTRACK
A dumb country song about four leaf clovers and a kooky Irish flavored score.
BOTTOM LINE
Maybe if I drank a case of 2-4 before hitting this flick, it might've been funny. Actually now that I think of it…it wouldn’t have. That darn Leprechaun is just way too annoying. Even drunk it’s hello Mr. 45 for this flick. BANG! BANG! BANG! There’s your pot of gold.
BULL'S EYE
Mark Jones also wrote Leprechaun and wrote and directed that other annoying bugger movie: Rumpelstiltskin.

Am I the only one that thought that the clover patch in this movie looked like a green light shining on the ground?

Look for the "Lucky Charms" cereal reference.

Ken Olandt was in one of my fav slashers: April Fool’s Day
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11:25AM on 03/28/2007

A Horror Classic!!! (In My View Anyway)

I love this movie, it's not as good as the sequels but it's the movie that started the whole series off.

This movie has a lot of strongpoints, a great villain, a beautiful lead, funny moments and others.

I will always love this movie and it's sequels! Now let's get this little terror in the ring with Chucky!
I love this movie, it's not as good as the sequels but it's the movie that started the whole series off.

This movie has a lot of strongpoints, a great villain, a beautiful lead, funny moments and others.

I will always love this movie and it's sequels! Now let's get this little terror in the ring with Chucky!
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