My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Director: George Mihalka
It’s Valentine's Day in the small mining town of "Valentine Bluff" and somebody is pretty pissed about the upcoming "Valentine's Day" dance the town is throwing. Legend has it, that years ago on valentines day the sole survivor of a mining accident vowed that if the town ever partied on that day again, he would clean house. I guess the town thought it was bull but fortunately for me some crazy dude didn't. He zips up in his best miner outfit (gas mask n all) takes the pick axe out of the closet and prepares the hear shaped chocolate boxes (stuffed with human hearts). Get lost Cupid, here comes the crazy miner and he’s ready for business.
An OK whodunit, with a great opening sequence (sex in a miner suit…kinky…bloody), a love triangle, a few creative kills (loved the NAIL GUN scene), a tense stalking scene in a mine, a bunch of ugly, dirty looking teens (some of the worst fashion I have ever seen) and a disappointing ending. If you like slasher flicks, you’ll get a few kicks out of this one. It doesn’t break new ground but has something no other slasher movie has…a killer in a miner suit, wearing a gas mask and holding a big ass pick axe…Listen to my heart…
This movie was heavily cut by the MPAA (a-hole censors). The movie was released not long after the assassination of "John Lennon" so they became anal about violence and made an example of this movie. That’s too bad cause with the gore intact this movie would have been wayyyyyy better. We still get some hearts in boxes, a girl in a dryer and some bloodless pick axe action…damn censors…
Sorry looking kids but can they act? Paul Kerman (TJ) and Neil Afflect (Axel) give us a decent show. Lori Hallier (Sara) gives the strongest performance, she comes out of this one a winner (but keeps her top on). Keith Knight (Hollis) the token fat guy, annoyed the crap out of me. Not because he can’t act but because he doesn’t comb his hair and mommy still dresses him. I’m not sure if Cynthia Dale (Patty) was suppose to be playing a ditz but she sure came across as one. The scene in the mine where she won’t stop whining and crying…god…I couldn’t wait for the killer to take care of her. SHUT UP ALREADY!
I guess a good looking cast does help. Imagine "Scream" with ugly actors? Don’t work. Who cast this film???
T & A
Nothing? Nothing…what do you mean nothing??? I thought this was a "Canadian" movie.
Ho hum…Nothing special. Basically point and shoot. But the movie has some spooky locations (specially the mine) and a scary killer. I liked the fact that the killer has a flashlight on his head and blinds his victims before hacking them…fun.
If you like hick music (country) you’re in for a real treat…if not suffer (like I did).
This is a slasher flick. The story is thin, the killer is peeved, yes there’s that old guy that warns everybody and the main reason to see this movie is to watch people die. So if that’s not your bag, don’t bother. Even with the censors doing some stabbing of their own, the movie still gives us a few "valentine" treats. This is a great movie to watch on" Valentine's Day" with your girl/boyfriend before you stab them to death and bury them in your backyard. Happy Valentines day.
George Mihalka also directed the French, Quebec comedy "La Florida"?!? Starring Remi Girard…now that’s true horror.
Valentine's Day is a great holiday to buy lingerie for your girl, so when she dumps you she can wear it for some other guy. :)