ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Night of the Demons 3 (1997)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Jimmy Kaufman

Starring:
Amelia Kinkade/Angela
Kris Holdenreid/Vince
Patricia Rodriguez/Abby
Tara Slone/Lois
PLOT-CRUNCH
A group of bad twenty-something actors posing as teens wind up hiding out at the “possessed” HULL HOUSE after a shootout with some cops in a convenience store. Resident hussy ghoul Angela (Kinkade) makes them feel welcome in gory ways while they have sex at the drop of a piece of lint.
THE LOWDOWN
"Night of the Demons" is one of my fav HORROR PARTY MIXES and even Part 2 managed to deliver some goodies that were worth the green. After years of avoiding Part 3 like a bad case of chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital warts and herpes...I decided to take a chance, put a rubber on and give it a doggy bang. Did I live to regret it? YES! This Mademoiselle was just a bad lay!

On the upside, the best thing about this sequel is its animated opening credits with flying demons and shite going coo-coo all over the screen. Groovy stuff! The whole movie should’ve been about that jive. Words to the wise: do your thang , watch the opening credits and take a magic carpet ride to hell. The rest of the movie is a whole other cock-fight and I don’t mean the animal. To be fair, I did kind of enjoy the set-up with the entertaining shootout. It was different than what we’d seen in the first two films and I actually didn’t see it coming. But once the teen schmucks got to the big bad house, it wasn’t too long until the jig was proven to be up.

Now, what I always appreciated about the first Night of the Demons was its morbid creativity, its flashy/energetic directing and its “out there” special effects. Sure, the sequel had some of those potent spices too but I’ll stick with Part 1 in terms of comparison. This “routine” sequel is sleeping on the job and it just won't wake up! You can kick it, slap it, fuck its mouth blue; it just won’t come to life! It be deader than Cobain. The effects are sooooo of the “dime store” variety and if you think a Halloween mask is scary; HAVE FUN BUDDY! And what about the creativity, you may ask? Well, if you find an evil Snake Sock Puppet novel, you’ll blow your load here like Ron Jeremy on Viagra. As for me, I need more than footwear with a mouth to get my horror juices flowing.

Directing-wise, Kaufman is spacing at the wheel and offers one redundant 80 minutes. Dude, there’s more to directing than 3 fucking types of shots! Take a chance! Storyboard your film! At least think about SOME pre-production! Go nuts! This movie looks like it was shot in one hour and even the “requisite” Raimi-like demon POV shot that we also find in the two previous films felt fairly impotent here! And then you have the “coup the grace” which are the unbearable characters and the "tickle your balls with a chainsaw" acting. Holy shite, Batgirl...and I thought the acting in the first two films was amateurish. You haven’t seen anything yet! Now I’m not sure if it was the often-lousy dialogue or the actors’ pre-school delivery but I’ll take a chance and lean towards BOTH. I dare you to find TWO characters you genuinely appreciate in here, I double dare you! I actually managed to find one, Lois (Slone) the bitchy blonde tramp did manage to rock my world with her assets (yes, I know...it figures). That soft drink with tits was my flavor and definitely Arrow approved!

So what’s left, Taco? Does this movie have anything to put out to make it worth a gander? Well, actually its main strength is SEX. I think the folks behind this baby knew they had a flying used diaper on their hands so they filled it with unapologetic smut. I’m talking female flesh peddling galore, sexual intercourse up the blow dryer, Angela sucking off a gun (cool scene actually, solid technique there girl…congrats), some dude getting head, a lesbian kiss and even a snake sock puppet managing to lightly eat a girl out. I know this might sound like "fun times" in a cereal box but WITHOUT the horror all that sex wasn’t worth more than a 5-minute whack and a well-earned power nap.

In conclusion, this corpse was too routine, uninspired, badly shot and cheap to deliver as a satisfying Night of the Demons sequel. Add to that a script that never failed to insult me with its stupidity (that whole “magic” spurting cop thing nearly lead me to shoot my toes off, take those tricks and shove them!), a few plot holes, some Mickey Mouse CGI, a crappy finale, dumb ass and I mean DUMB ASS character moves (why try to hot wire a car to escape when all you can do is walk 3 steps to get out of dodge? Duh!) and you get one for the unmarked graves. I knew this flick had killed the series when it made the requisite Angela “erotic” dancing scene BORING! This party is dead yo! Let’s get out of here! I hear SkyBar is jumping tonight! Let’s hit it!
GORE
The gore is mostly lamely executed but it's there. We get a tongue going through someone’s head, gunshot wounds, a bloody clawing, a melting head, a decomposing demon and a ripped out heart.
ACTING
Amelia Kinkade (Angela) is back again as Angela and she does what she has to do. I personally didn’t find her as sexy as she was in Part 1 or even 2. Kris Holdenreid (Vince) got on my nerves BIG TIME with his poseur tough guy shtick. I just didn’t buy it. I’ve owned poodles tougher than this dude. Patricia Rodriguez (Abby) has a weak delivery but I will admit digging her when she played that whole sexy cat vibe. Tara Slone (Lois) not only plays a slut but she plays a sexy slut. I bought it and was VERY convinced that she was a slut! GOOD JOB! Gregory Colpakis (Nick) underplays it and with the CRAP dialogue he had to spit out it was the best move. Stephanie Bouder (Holly) does fine with what she’s given and has a sweeter than “Dr. Pepper” ass. Larry Day (Larry) cashes in that check and all he had to do was bore us with “magic” talk. At least he knows how to act…I think.
T & A
Let's meet our three contestants: #1) Patricia Rodriguez shows us her tits and her ass #2) Stephanie Bouder follows her lead and also shows some bootie and tangerines #3) Tara Slone only shows her luscious breast. And who’s the big winner? TARA SLONE for not only having nice creamy fun-bags but for also having one hell of an efficient “fuck me” look. Yes, its true, sometimes less is more! The ladies don’t get dick…literally.
DIRECTING
Jimmy Kaufman REALLY overdoes in the tilted and/or medium shots department. Talk about giving the flick a bland feel! Sure, he showcases a couple of nice moments, the shootout in the beginning was well done and some ok slow motion does come up but overall...it was pretty damn weak. The man is no Kevin Tenney, that’s fer sure!
SOUNDTRACK
The score goes from bearable to tacky. We also get a shit rock song and some stinky Tribal type ditty. I’ll stick with “System of a Down” in my CD player thank you very much!
BOTTOM LINE
They should’ve taken out the gore, upped the sexual content and called it “Night of the Dildos”. This flick has more in common with your average shoddy porn than your top-notch horror candy. Look at it this way: You want a good "Night of the Demons" movie? Rent the first two and liven up your party. You want some female candy to suck on? Just rent porn and flag your Bishop or go out clubbing and get laid FOR REAL. Having said all that, I can still see how this flick could be digestible in a "so bad, it's good" kind of way under the right circumstances and state of mind. If you're going to check it out, I'd recommend calling Captain Morgan over for some assistance. I'm sure his rowdy presence would help make all the lousy shite in this flick VERY FUNNY. NOTE TO SELF: Page the Captain over to the house and watch it again to test my theory.
BULL'S EYE
Kevin Tenney who wrote and directed the way kool original was responsible for this one’s screenplay. He also co-edited it.

This flick was shot in my hometown of Montreal, Canada.

Here’s an odd story: As I was writing this review, I was listening to “Joydrop”; one of my fav Canadian bands. I then went on the net to do some research and found out that Tara Slone (the chick I was drooling over in this review) IS the lead singer of “Joydrop”! TALK ABOUT A COINCIDENCE! You know what that means Tara…do yourself a favor and CALL ME! I’ll take you out for a “Big Mac” and a “Coke”. “Sometimes I want to die” too, hun.

The flick is also known as “Demon House”.

My Captain Morgan theory worked. With him by my side, the flick was FREAKING HILARIOUS on a second watch. It's still a bad movie though.
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