ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Out of the Dark (2015)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Lluís Quílez

Starring:
Julia Stiles/Sarah
Scott Speedman/Paul
Stephen Rea/Jordan
Vanesa Tamayo/Catalina
3 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
A Yankee couple (Julia Stiles and Scott Speedman) with a British speaking kid (don’t ask) move to Columbia and quickly find out that their new home is haunted and that their Brit speaking daughter is at risk.
THE LOWDOWN
When watching a film for review at home, I always jolt down notes; unfortunately, I lost my notes for OUT OF THE DARK, so I’m going to have to go on memory which may prove challenging as there wasn’t much to remember here but lots to forget. Here it goes! I didn’t know jack and shit about OUT OF THE DARK when a press release about it hit my Inbox so I checked the trailer (it looked all right) and thet fact that veteran actors Julia Stiles and Scott Speedman (Where the hell has that dude been?) starred in it definitely helped sway my decision to give it a whirl. Man that was a mistake!

Let’s get my corny pun of the day out of the way right now; OUT OF THE DARK should have stayed in the dark! Booya! If you got a better one, jolt it down below! The best quip gets a Cadillac El Dorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives. In all seriousness, let me address what I dug about the film and then allow me to teach that mofo lessons old school! It won’t take long. I did appreciate that they took a real life tragedy (the murder of children by the Conquistadors) as its inspiration, Lluís Quílez had his moments behind the camera (he wisely capitalized on his striking locations, I dug them aerial shots too), there was ONE boo scare that worked and the acting was serviceable (child actress Pixie Davies was really good, her Brit accent threw me off though and I didn't buy that throwaway explanation as to why she had it) taking into account the toilet paper script. And yup that was my main beef with this turkey; the screenplay or lack of one.

Kind of blows the mind that this film was penned by screenwriters Javier Gullón (who adapted Enemy) and David and Àlex Pastor (who were behind Carriers and The Last Days). Now don’t get me wrong, I am very much aware that at the end of the day, the writer (s) are usually the last guys to blame as a film changes so much through production and post production; but f*ck me sideways with a lawnmower, I still have a hard time believing that all of that talent couldn’t have come up with something more elevated than this by the number sleepwalker. Yup, OUT OF THE DARK, plotted along at a lumbering pace, heartlessly tossing out elements from better horror films along the way hoping that some of them would stick or/and carry some impact. They didn’t. THE CHANGELING, AMITIVYLLE HORROR, THE RING, POLTERGEIST; the rips were all there! Sadly they weren’t part of a narrative that hooked me or a (see through) mystery that tantalized me.

Fifteens minutes in I quickly discovered that I didn’t give a hoot as to what happened in this movie. Was it the lack of suspense and scares? Was it the countless dumb moves to serve the plot (Lets put our ALWAYS wandering kid in a room with a dumb waiter in it! Look a monster behind my daughter in a pic! Let’s stay in the house. or Hey I’m babysitting, lets slap them headphones on so I can’t hear shit)? Was it every single haunted house cliche tossed in the mix (the kid’s drawings, the terrorized nanny, the red balloon, the tub scene, the wise old woman that knows everything)? Maybe the shite CG had something to do with it? Or was it the WHY behind the horror changing its tune during a half cocked last act? It was all of it and THEN SOME! Add to all that an obviously bored Julia Stiles and Scott Speedman (and I don’t blame them) and Stephen Rea cashing in yet another check and you get an uninspired and stale bore fest.

I can’t think of one reason as to why Out of the Dark would be worth anybody's time. NOT ONE! Life's too short, and I am peeved I just wasted some of mine on this trash twice. Once watching it and secondly, writing about it. Am done.  
GORE
There was an impaling, some burnt faces and some cuts. All I remember, like I said, lost my notes.
T & A
Jack shit.
BOTTOM LINE
I just tested it out and yes masturbating with a cheese grater was in fact more pleasant than watching Out of the Dark! Who knew?! This flick had nothing going for it pass its decent initial premise, bleak visuals, a talented child actress and that ONE boo scare. The flick was scare-less, overtly derivative of better films, dumb as Hilton (Paris or Perez take your pick), tedious to sit through and even its cast seemed bored beyond tears in front of the camera. Scott Speedman?! You're better than this man. MUCH BETTER!
BULL'S EYE
The flick was shot in Bogota, Colombia .

This was Lluís Quílez feature lenght directioruial debut.

Scott Speedman was was raised in Canada. He got his start in acting there.
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9:29AM on 02/16/2015
"I just tested it out and yes masturbating with a cheese grater was in fact more pleasant than watching Out of the Dark!" - Hahaha, I just spit my coffee. Thanks a bunch. Rgarding the movie, it looks really awful.
"I just tested it out and yes masturbating with a cheese grater was in fact more pleasant than watching Out of the Dark!" - Hahaha, I just spit my coffee. Thanks a bunch. Rgarding the movie, it looks really awful.
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