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Prom Night (2008)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Nelson McCormick

Starring:
Brittany Snow/Donna
Scott Porter/Bobby
Jessica Stroup/Claire
Dana Davis/Lisa
4 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
It’s hard for Donna (Snow) to enjoy her Prom with boogey-woogey Jonathon Schaech whacking out her friends and stalking her ass like it was a sport…real hard. Poor Donna…
THE LOWDOWN
Lets get this out of the way off the bat, it’s called PROM NIGHT but it’s not really a remake of the 1980 PROM NIGHT starring Jamie Lee “big cans/small penis” Curtis. The genius’ behind this masterpiece (of shit) acquired the name and made their own movie under it; too bad they didn’t make a good one.

On the upside, PROM NIGHT IN DIAPERS as I like to call it was well shot and slickly edited. It even managed to milk some tension out of its “generic to the letter” mold (that opening had me by the jewels) and that was a feat in itself. Furthermore, Brittany Snow really rocked it out of the park in terms of being credible and likeable, the dame will go places, she basically carried this film. And finally, I can’t front, I’m a Schaech fan. And seeing him play a baseball cap abusing nutso was quite the hoot. The Schaeck going buck wild on paper mache tween with a cool ass knife equals fun to me.

Alas, that was pretty much where the love-strokes ended. The rest of the film was as by the numbers, pedestrian boo-scares whoring and uninspired as they come. And to make matters even worse, it did all that while being dumb as f*ck to boot. I mean I’m all for suspension of disbelief when it comes to horror films, but this one pushed the envelope to “the audience will buy anything cause they’re idiots” level. For example why is The Schaech teleporting a la Jason Voorhees circa Part 7, Part 8? Last I checked he’s not a supernatural entity, he’s just a dude with a boner for a cute blonde. Moreover, if all The Schaech wants is Donna, then why is he playing peek-a-boo with pointless side characters? Just nab the broad and get the hell out of dodge already!

And was it me or did everybody WANT Donna to get killed by The Schaech here? Sure felt like it. The moment the cops found out the psycho was out, did they go remove her from the Prom and take her to a safe place? Nope. They left her there with some bogus excuse (i.e. shoddy screenwriting) backing up the trivial move. And once they knew the killer was whacking peeps at the Prom, did they FINALLY take Donna somewhere safe? Nope! They took her home where she proceeded to hit the lights and snuggle up to her boyfriend…and…. you know what I’ll stop right there… you get the picture. This flick was either lazy or stupid or both when it came to its narrative structure and justifying its chain of events. The dumb characters moves to serve the plot were so abundant here that I lost 2 brain cells and my will to fornicate in the process. COME ON!

Now don’t get me wrong, slashers are for the most part fairly idiotic but personally, I can forgive "some" of that jive when the goods are delivered. Some fly kills and a couple of boob shots never hurt anybody least alone me when it comes to the subgenre. So did PROM NIGHT at least get that right? Not even close. I‘ve fingerfucked dead lays that were wetter than this flick. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw a flick GO OUT OF ITS WAY this much to NOT show us ANYTHING. So at the end of it all, the main juice that kept me going here was rooting for The Schaech to kill them mooks already, so the end credits could roll. Thank you Schaech and f*ck you PROM NIGHT!
GORE
Fake blood smeared on people and on a plastic sheet. Yeah… way to make a slasher flick guys! Urg…
ACTING
Brittany Snow (Donna) made it happen with her utterly natural and sympathetic show. Props girl! Scott Porter (Bobby) did fine as the token “good boyfriend”. Jessica Stroup (Claire) looked great, was capable and her ample melons gapped the rest – not much a of a part. Idris Elba (Detective Winn) owns in everything he does and here was no exception. Love that dude! Jonathon Schaech (Richard Fenton) was mucho creepy and effectual as the loon with the most. He should play “psycho” more often!
T & A
We get some "blow load here" cleavage shots and that's it.
DIRECTING
Nelson McCormick made this crud go down smoother than it should have via polished shots and some random suspense. And he had a competent editor on his side too – always helps.
SOUNDTRACK
An endless barrage of “lets sell that soundtrack” pop music. Nough said.
BOTTOM LINE
You know what? Add guts and fill in the script holes and the film could've been decent. As-is though here's the PROM NIGHT math! A shoddily put together chain of events plus vacuous stick characters, minus gore, minus TNA, divided by lack of originality and absence of basic common sense equals: stale and moronic garbage. If Brittany Snow wasn’t as good as she was and I didn’t have The Schaech to root for, I would’ve hurt somebody in that theatre… most likely MYSELF! Funny thing is this subpar product made 22 Million in its opening weekend. You know what that means... MORE SUBPAR PRODUCTS TO COME! Who goes to see this drivel? Like really? WHO? Bugh...
BULL'S EYE
Screenwriter J.S. Cardone also directed THE FORSAKEN and penned THE COVENANT and the upcoming STEPFATHER remake (swell).

Nelson McCormick will be helming THE STEPFATHER remake.

Hottie actress Jessica Stroup was the hot blonde in The Hills Have Eye 2 (the remake).

IGNORE THE PROM NIGHT OFFICIAL SITE HERE

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10:13PM on 08/31/2009
As a remake and a slasher flick it sucks, but as a psycho/teen/thriller it isn't half bad. Sure the acting wasn't the best and it could of been gorier with a higher bodycount, but I thought it was a slickly made sometimes creepy teen thriller with a hot looking cast. It should of been a stand alone not a remake, drop the title and become its own movie. It has nothing to do with the original so it's not a remake in my book. I thought it could of been a little longer with more action and twists,
As a remake and a slasher flick it sucks, but as a psycho/teen/thriller it isn't half bad. Sure the acting wasn't the best and it could of been gorier with a higher bodycount, but I thought it was a slickly made sometimes creepy teen thriller with a hot looking cast. It should of been a stand alone not a remake, drop the title and become its own movie. It has nothing to do with the original so it's not a remake in my book. I thought it could of been a little longer with more action and twists, but it's much more decent than people make it out to be and is much better than the Black Christmas remake now that you can bash. Overall not bad at all, but if they make a sequel make it darker with more gore and action and make the killer wear a mask to make it more suspenseful and if you want to call it a slasher because it's more of a thriller now. And for all of the directors out there please for the next slasher remake don't make it PG-13 beacause you will f it up, anyways I recommend this decent at best teen/thriller calling its self a remake to cash in.
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+0
10:17PM on 04/30/2008

I'm really not sure what to say...

The films not really bad by any means... It's just nothing new. It seems as if somebody chewed up Black Christmas, When A Stranger Calls, and Cry_Wolf, and when they spit it out, this is what they got. This movie woulda been great had it been made 20 years ago, when they weren't dropping everything to a PG-13 rating just to pull in the younguns... but today, it's lacking pretty much everything that brings me to the theatre in the first place... Blood, Suspense, Nekedness... That's right.
The films not really bad by any means... It's just nothing new. It seems as if somebody chewed up Black Christmas, When A Stranger Calls, and Cry_Wolf, and when they spit it out, this is what they got. This movie woulda been great had it been made 20 years ago, when they weren't dropping everything to a PG-13 rating just to pull in the younguns... but today, it's lacking pretty much everything that brings me to the theatre in the first place... Blood, Suspense, Nekedness... That's right. Nekedness. Overall, I agree with Arrow. I have to give credit to the cast, who despite making a mediocre film, were beliveable enough, and the direction was suspenseful enough to keep the teenie-boppers jumping at some crucial moments... Although, they'd have the same reaction if they looked in the mirror had saw they had a pimple... So... I really don't know what to think.
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12:06PM on 04/15/2008

Hmm

Well I knew this was going to suck the minute I saw the trailer it looked too slick and then I saw it was rated pg13 that's usually a bad sign for a horror film there have been a few good ones but most are crap
Well I knew this was going to suck the minute I saw the trailer it looked too slick and then I saw it was rated pg13 that's usually a bad sign for a horror film there have been a few good ones but most are crap
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7:09AM on 04/15/2008

Prom Night... Bad Idea.

Great review once more, even though I must've seen a different movie, because I finally understood that Brittany Snow CAN NOT ACT. I mean, a wooden broom had more screen presence than her.

And we can add at least one person in the audience who wished Donna dead - me.
Great review once more, even though I must've seen a different movie, because I finally understood that Brittany Snow CAN NOT ACT. I mean, a wooden broom had more screen presence than her.

And we can add at least one person in the audience who wished Donna dead - me.
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11:10PM on 04/14/2008
Once again The Arrow delivers with one very entertaining review.

oh yeah, and this movie sucked major balls. rating this a 0 is being generous.
Once again The Arrow delivers with one very entertaining review.

oh yeah, and this movie sucked major balls. rating this a 0 is being generous.
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7:45PM on 04/14/2008
I'll tell ya who went to see it.....anyone 12-17 who can't get into a good movie. And who will think this is AWESOME!!
I'll tell ya who went to see it.....anyone 12-17 who can't get into a good movie. And who will think this is AWESOME!!
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+0
1:11PM on 04/14/2008
"I've fingerfucked dead lays that were wetter than this flick." Once again, Arrow delivers a review more entertaining than the movie!

I weep for the horror genre. I really do.
"I've fingerfucked dead lays that were wetter than this flick." Once again, Arrow delivers a review more entertaining than the movie!

I weep for the horror genre. I really do.
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11:33AM on 04/14/2008

I can tell you who saw this...

...I did.

YES. Guilty as charged. No excuse whatsoever. There was nothing else playing, I felt like a "slasher" and I went "Why the fuck not?" So I plopped down my money and bought a ticket.

Of course when I saw it made that much at the box office the shame that filled my heart to know I contributed... the shame.

This is the kind of movie that made me sign the Pro-Boll petition. I'd rather see something horribly crappy, but made with passion, pizzaz and some nutty, nutty guy behind it
...I did.

YES. Guilty as charged. No excuse whatsoever. There was nothing else playing, I felt like a "slasher" and I went "Why the fuck not?" So I plopped down my money and bought a ticket.

Of course when I saw it made that much at the box office the shame that filled my heart to know I contributed... the shame.

This is the kind of movie that made me sign the Pro-Boll petition. I'd rather see something horribly crappy, but made with passion, pizzaz and some nutty, nutty guy behind it than this sort of [link] shit taking up space at my local cineplex. They suck at buying prints already... I swear when Indy 4 comes out they'll have one theatre running it and 5 others running Epic Movie 3.
Your Reply:



10:10AM on 04/14/2008

It goes to show you....

Any film will do well if MTV is promoting the hell out of it. I mean, look what it did for Napoleon Piece-of-shite! 'Nuff said!

No desire to see Prom Shite. None whatsoever.
Any film will do well if MTV is promoting the hell out of it. I mean, look what it did for Napoleon Piece-of-shite! 'Nuff said!

No desire to see Prom Shite. None whatsoever.
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