Razor Blade Smile (1998)
Director: Jake West
Jonathan Coote/Det. Price
A female vampire hitwoman kills people, falls in love and has a blood drenched lesbian scene.
Maybe its because I hadn’t gotten laid in 10 days, but the only thing this flick managed to stimulate was my ding dong with its sexy lesbian scene. I think that’s the only good thing about the flick (not true the Charlie’s Angels like opening credit with the flying razor blades was pretty kool also).
Don’t get me wrong, I was at first dazzled by the film’s high style. The setup was great, I loved the 19th century intro. And seeing a leather wearing vampire hit woman with a gun collection in her coffin seemed promising. Too bad the flick went nowhere…
All we get is Lilith’s "witty" narration, clumsy/boring John Woo wannabe gun fights, Lilith hanging out at a poseur Goth club, corny time filling dream sequences, a stale love story and Lilith’s hair waving in slow motion way too many times.
The film came across as very pretentious and the thing is that I usually like artsy fartsy pretentious horror. But this one just pissed me off. Style for style sake is fine but how about setting up a story and characters I can care about? How about not freeze framing every five seconds? I was more interested in what new funky outfit Lilith was gonna wear next than the plot. This film had the substance of a "Revlon" commercial and in the end all its posturing amounts to jack all.
A big letdown.
Blood is shed but the only scene that comes to my mind is when Lilith puts her finger between Ariauna’s legs and then licks them. You see Ariauna is on the rag…yummy….
You will love or hate Eileen Daly (Lillith). I didn’t like her delivery and didn’t find her credible as a hit woman. She can’t hold a gun or climb out a window properly. But I will admit she’s one sexy woman and she warmed my blood. Jonathan Coote (Price) stands out as the detective and I almost cared about him. That in itself is the sign of a good actor. Christopher Adamson (Stephane) has the look for the part, too bad I didn’t care about it. Kevin Howarth (Platinum) does fine as the love interest but he’s boring. Heidi James (Ariauna) steals the show as the spunky Goth chick and her lesbian scene with Lilith is definite rewind material.
T & A
Eileen Daly and Heidi James show off their bodies and their breasts.
Slow motion, freeze frame, lots of filters, lots of out/in focus…yes this pizza is all dressed, too bad it was left in the oven for way too long…over baked….
Love the Bauhaus song (Bela Lugosi’s Dead) and a generic techno score.
Kool title but nobody’s home. This flick was an over self- indulgent, pretentious and surprsingly stale offering. If you warm up to Lilith, you might enjoy it and its been getting great word of mouth. Just wasn't for me. Awesome lesbian sex scene though! Oh and Eileen Daly…call me…
Eileen Daly played in the no budget WitchCraft X: Mistress Of The Craft.