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Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Alexander Witt

Starring:
Milla Jovovich/Alice
Sienna Guillory/Jill
Oded Fehr/Carlos
Jared Harris/Dr. Ashford
5 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
The T-Virus outbreak spreads about Raccoon City and unleashes an army of undead. The Umbrella Corporation quarantines the area, leaving cute buttock Jill Valentine (Guillory), tough guy Carlos Olivera (Fehr) and hard nipples Alice (Jovovich) to fend for themselves about the chaos filled petting zoo. Let the party begin? Maybe not...
THE LOWDOWN
Having boogied to the original "Resident Evil", I was really looking forward to this sequel. Then I heard that Paul W.S. Anderson, who had directed the first film, stepped down as director (to focus on "Alien vs Predator") and my expectations dropped like a dead corpse at the bottom of a bubble-filled bathtub. I assume for most, the opposite occurred, but what I can say…I adore Anderson’s visual style, contemporary sensibilities and energetic demeanor….sue me! And you know what, fellow psychopaths? Having now seen this “fart in the wind” sequel...I missed Anderson’s presence behind the camera even more!

Written by Anderson and largely inspired by the "Resident Evil 3: Nemesis" videogame, Resident Evil: Apocalypse's chain of events thankfully moved quicker than the Road Runner on steroids and I was therefore, admittedly, never bored. It grooved so swiftly though, that nothing stayed with me after the screening either. I’ll give the movie this: it felt more like the videogame than the original did. It was a hoot (for this part-time gamer anyways) to see Jill Valentine, Carlos Olivera and badass Nemesis (who looked freaking amazing) finally getting into the mix. Sienna Guillory, in particular, nailed her Jill Valentine role like a queen, echoing her game counterpart on all counts perfectly. The grim setting also worked when it came to the portrayal of the enclosed and destroyed Raccoon City. It smelled and felt like Resident Evil! In addition, I appreciated a couple of the action bits: namely the one involving a motorcycle, another in a graveyard and the Milla Jovo-nipples running down the side of a building thing. Lastly, that last frame made sense to me! Looking forward to see where they’ll go with the second sequel!

But alas, apart from those random treats, not much from the flick left a lasting impression on me. First off, it totally failed as a Zombie movie. Few close-ups of Zombies aside, the bulk of the undead shenanigans had to do with crowds in the shadows or from far away shots. They could’ve been wearing dirty diapers and clown makeup on their faces for all I knew! To make matters worse, the Zombies and the token Resident Evil creatures (Lickers and Dobermen) were shamefully underused! Taking into account the premise (town overrun with undead and monsters) that was a big No-No! I was grateful for what the first film did with its fiends even more after this sequel! Furthermore, for an R-rated movie, the gore factor was ludicrously low! I’ve seem more blood in my freaking toilet on weekends (don’t ask) than in this dryer than a 90-year old hag opus. BOOOOOO!

It didn’t fare much better when it came to its storyline either. The narrative was rushed and “all over the place” with never enough focus set upon a subplot or a character (I wanted more Carlos!) for me two give two shits about anybody or anything. The same can be said about the “James Bond” German-like villain in the house and the plot hole laced last block for which he was responsible. WHATEVER, MAN! And what was up with the shoddy fight sequences? They were badly shot and mostly executed in close ups/shaky cam mode. Hey man, I’d like to see SOMETHING for my time! That’s why I came to see this flick! The final “pukey” element was that “Bling Bling”, Gold Guns sporting, Pimping, black comic relief. I’m so sick of that freaking character being in every recent genre film! STEP OFF, ALREADY! YOU’RE NOT FUNNY! I guess that’s the generation gap talking.

Overall, although it did emulate Resident Evil "the game” adequately, "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" played it too safe for me to get back-handed by it and too sloppy when it came to delivering the candy that I expected to chew on fervently when going in. This sequel had more in common with a lazy and generic sci-fi channel Movie of the Week than its cinematic forefather! GAME OVER!
GORE
We get a knife in the head, bloodless head shots, gunshot wounds and damaged creatures (Lickers and Dogs). Just don’t blink and you might see some grub. Easily the driest Zombie movie ever made and it’s an R-rating! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?!
ACTING
Milla Jovovich (Alice) looked great and kicked ass like a champ, but her performance felt half-assed at times. I heard through the grapevine that she wasn’t happy with this sequel...it showed. Sienna Guillory (Jill) shined and emulated her video game persona admirably...right down to the posturing. Good stuff, girl! Oded Fehr (Carlos) did fine as “action man”, but was underused. Mike Epps (LJ) played the token “bling bling” black comic relief…I didn’t laugh once. Jared Harris (Dr. Ashford) phoned in his presence while Sophie Vavasseur (Angie) gave an endearing show.
T & A
We get two tit shots from a couple of female Zombie hookers (I’m not kidding) and we also get lots of Milla flesh with her “phone dialer” nipples being the highlight. The ladies get Nemesis’ big and hard rocket-launcher.
DIRECTING
I can’t say I warmed up to Witt’s visual style too much. He kept using this low-rent slow motion effect that grated me and his shaky cam/tight shots fight sequences blew hard knocks cock. Sure, there were some moments that worked, but on the whole...I was blasé about it all.
SOUNDTRACK
We get a pedestrian “heavy metal axed” score. Adequate, yet far from memorable.
BOTTOM LINE
I didn’t go into "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" looking for character depth, solid dialogue or a substance-filled storyline. I went in looking for exciting action and flesh-craving Zombies, but I rarely got that. What’s a goreless Zombie film? What’s a Zombie-less Zombie film? What’s a sloppily shot action film? EXACTLY! Not much. Resident Evil 2 could’ve been "fun times at the out-house", but although it was speedy and had appealing leads, it never took the time to stop for a second and deliver the goods hardcore. Think a hooker that’ll give you a clumsy hand job, but won’t blow your pipe. What’s the point? I could get that at home for free! See it on DVD as a “time waster". Back to the original film I go!
BULL'S EYE
The trailer misled me and that pissed me off! It showed Milla Jovovich running down the side of a building as it blows up. In the film, she does run down the side of a building, but the explosion is not part of the same scene...it happens later. Fuck you, you lying marketing pricks! I was looking forward to seeing her run AS the building blew up!

John Fallon (yes, me!) actually auditioned for the part of Carlos Olivera. Don’t ask me why they wanted to see me for that role (I don’t look Latin for a second…I’m as white as snow), but they did see me for it. I had to do the “We’re expendable assets and we just got expended” scene and the “girl wanting to jump off the building” exchange.

This was Alexander Witt’s first film. He’s worked on a myriad of features though as Second Unit Director of Photography (like "Twister" and "XXX").

The film was shot in Toronto, Canada and that’s why the suburb shots look EXACTLY like the suburb shots found in the "Dawn of the Dead" remake (which was also shot in Toronto). Guess what "Land of the Dead" will look like? Yes, it’s also being shot in Toronto…bugh.
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6:40PM on 09/03/2012

I dig it.

I hated all of the 3 Resident Evil flicks I've watched. Didn't bother with the fourth and the fifth looks like more of the same.

But I ended up watching this one again at a friends house who loves the whole series and I actually found myself having some mindless fun. It's slicker and more fast paces than the first film and it actually feels like a zombie film instead of a bio-terrorism flick that happens to have some zombies in it. The action is more entertaining and the cast is more
I hated all of the 3 Resident Evil flicks I've watched. Didn't bother with the fourth and the fifth looks like more of the same.

But I ended up watching this one again at a friends house who loves the whole series and I actually found myself having some mindless fun. It's slicker and more fast paces than the first film and it actually feels like a zombie film instead of a bio-terrorism flick that happens to have some zombies in it. The action is more entertaining and the cast is more likable, even Mike Epps (Ya, I said it). This is the only film in the series to not feel wholly dull and lifeless imo. I get some easy thrills out of it.
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5:52PM on 09/16/2010

Weak but somewhat entertaining mess.

Alexander Witt`s directorial debut is certainly an great mess and uninsipired first movie.

Sure, he has some talent with visual moments and some good action sequences but not enough.

Writer/Producer:Paul W.S. Anderson didn`t directed this one (But the movie certainly needed him as a director). But the cast about the sequel that keeps the movie watchable.

Although like Witt`s witless direction, Anderson`s screenplay is nearly just as bad.

"Resident Evil:Apocalyspe" is a wild mess but
Alexander Witt`s directorial debut is certainly an great mess and uninsipired first movie.

Sure, he has some talent with visual moments and some good action sequences but not enough.

Writer/Producer:Paul W.S. Anderson didn`t directed this one (But the movie certainly needed him as a director). But the cast about the sequel that keeps the movie watchable.

Although like Witt`s witless direction, Anderson`s screenplay is nearly just as bad.

"Resident Evil:Apocalyspe" is a wild mess but after watching this an few times since. I kinda like it now, probably for the wrong reasons. "Resident Evil" fans beware!
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1:39PM on 09/13/2005

Hate it to love it.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

My name is Alice. And I remember everything.

"STAAAAAAAAAARRSSS . . . "

Plot:
This movie begins a little before the first's ending, when a certain Dr. Ashford is pulled out of his house to overlook the Hive incident (the first). Now that the Hive's been reopened, the virus has fled to the city and is infecting everyone that breathes. It's up to a few survivors to escape the undead infected city. Oh, and Nemesis is active now. Have fun.

What I
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

My name is Alice. And I remember everything.

"STAAAAAAAAAARRSSS . . . "

Plot:
This movie begins a little before the first's ending, when a certain Dr. Ashford is pulled out of his house to overlook the Hive incident (the first). Now that the Hive's been reopened, the virus has fled to the city and is infecting everyone that breathes. It's up to a few survivors to escape the undead infected city. Oh, and Nemesis is active now. Have fun.

What I Thought:
What the hell can I say about "Resident Evil: Apocalypse"? Let me start by saying that the first is one of my favorite movies of all time. And I had big expectations for this followup (how couldn't I, after that damned ending?), but these were spilled when I read the 'crap' reviews spread just about everywhere. The trailer actually gave me chills (no, really) and I couldn't look forward any more to the scenes shown in said trailer. But the best word I can use to describe this sequel is "a dud", Resident Evil: Apocalypse is a dud.

Paul Anderson (writer/director of the original) wrote the sequel and I won't lie, he did it pretty well. Scriptually, the movie is at times superior to the first. The concept itself is very interesting, a city filled with zombies, but that wouldn't really cut it. The subplot that has Dr. Ashford manipulating the survivors to save his daughter was the highlight for me, what a great fucking idea for the plot! Not only did this bring enough juice to the story but also created a great character, Dr. Ashford (even if he's hardly on screen). Other things that are scriptually great are the "Alice" and "Nemesis" subplots. See, now Alice is superpowerful, she was changed in-between the movies by Umbrella to kick more ass than she did before. I also loved the final twist given to her (*spoilers* thought the 'telepathy' angle was a step too far, that sucked). Now I'm looking forward to Part 3. Too bad some of the dialogue is so damned terrible ("I'm good, but I'm not that good.").

So far, so good right? Well, remember what I'll call The Dud Factor. Everything promising in the movie is pooped all over by the crappy execution and there's only one person to blame: director Alex Witt. Though this guy managed to create GREAT looking visuals (again) with one certain big/huge/enormous exception (the 'slow motion' used from time to time when zombies walked around looked extremely amateur) he crapped over the script. But before I go there, I'll dig deeper into the visuals. He created atmosphere, filled the screen with blue (and blue mist, cool stuff) and gave the movie a heavy 'Resident Evil 2/3" feel. This one really felt like a videogame.

But the crap relies on many things. First off, the pacing. The beginning of the movie is lightning fast, and made most of the events (mostly character introductions) to look extremely silly. Considering that the movie runs for only 90 minutes, it's stupid to make these essentials run so short. And every time I thought I'd get excited, Witt dudded the scene (like the explotion in the school . . . I know, Alice saved the day but come on, my blood was already pumping!). A big stupid ass thing is how the way it was marketed, "Regenerate" related in absolutely no way to the plot, I don't think there was even any sort of mention to it. Talk about stupid marketing. Oh, and if you want to talk about silliness, I can say that there's gratuitious nudity courtesy of zombie hookers (yeap).

He can be acredited for slick ideas (the church/bike/licker incident) though, but at times the way the scenes are shot, killed the action. I need to sue him for misleading me with the FANTASTIC scene in the trailer that had Alice rapelling down an exploding building and having it in separate scenes without any weight in them. More to the pacing: god, it sucked how bluntly some scenes take place. For instance cutout character holding the camera in the church, out of absolutely nowhere going: "I'm getting out of here!". Huh? What the hell's with that? Be more creative, Witt.

The characters are even flatter than in the first. Rain is replaced by Resident Evil famous character Jill Valentine (played by the absolutely boiling Sienna Guillori) and though she kicks ass and looks great in costume, we know nothing about her. Alice doesn't grow much (except for the cool twist). Dr. Ashford is the best new character in the movie but he's characterization is still sub-par. Carlos Oliviera is also flat, Angie Ashford is not as layered as I'd like her to be (I loved the 'infected' angle though [not a spoiler, don't worry]). L.J. is . . . god, I don't know. Well he's very VERY flat, and he's the token 'black P.I.M.P. which is a character I hate everytime (he has golden guns, godammit). And I really disliked his bling-blinging ways (it's not funny, okay?) but I found myself chuckling at some of the lines spurted by him. Everyone else is so extremely underwritten that's not even worth mentioning. The difference between this and the first is that in the first you at least liked the peeps, not here. I could care less for most.

Nemesis, well . . . he's awesome. The costume/makup FX were stellar and he looked exactly like in the game. He looked so badass. *spoilers* Oh and I need to say that the first time I saw the movie I hated his Darth Vader ways near the end but after rethinking it, I came to the conclusion that it's not really a bad thing. I mean, think about his backstory with Alice, I actually thought it was sweet in a very twisted sense. Another charge I want to put on Witt's account however, is that Nemesis does some sort of robotic noises (and also sees through a robotic display). What's with that?! Nemesis wasn't a godamn robot! Shame on Witt. The score was pretty good, with a twist on the original and a few cool vocal tracks (I'm in love with Papa Roach's "Not Listening" from the trailer).

The acting was nothing memorable. I didn't think anyone really did a bad performance though Mike Epps overplayed a lot his part, which helped my dislike towards his character. But overly, the acting was fine, just fine. Couldn't get enough of the Jill/Alice action (no, not what you're thinking . . . sadly) though, they looked great while holding big guns.

Gore:
Dry? I don't think so. Though it wasn't hard-R, the movie's violence could get pretty brutal. We see severed arms, a knife in the head, many zombie bites, snapped necks, dogs munching on people, mauled corpses and more. Nemesis looked pretty messy as well.

Overall Rating.
5/10. The first time I saw it, I was thinking 4/10 but with time, I learned to appreciate the movie more. Now I can watch this very very often (lots of rewatch value, try it when drunk . . . what a trip!) and still enjoy it in its suckyness.
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