Sacred Flesh (2000)
Director: Nigel Windgrove
Sally Tremaine/Mother Superior
Kristina Bill/Mary Magdelaine
The carnal desire that spanking hot nuns share for each other at a nunnery pushes one of them (Tremaine) over the edge. She gets possessed and craves some â€śnannyâ€ť big time! A bald priest (Abbott) comes in to see what the dealio is with all the moistness in the air and weâ€™re then treated to scenes of lesbian nuns playing lick the muff or suck on the crucifix, among other athletic sexual competitions. Okayâ€¦whatâ€™s going on hereâ€¦???
This is soft porn. Call me an uninformed primate but I didnâ€™t know that was the case before I agreed to review Sacred Flesh. Not porn, not hardcore porn but a soft pornâ€¦scratch that a horror soft pornâ€¦scratch that too, an artsy- horror- lesbian nuns - soft porn at that! Personally I donâ€™t give two shits for this sub genre where I donâ€™t see its purpose; either Iâ€™ll watch a horror flick, a â€śrealâ€ť skin flick or Iâ€™ll hit the local Pub for some sleazy company, but thatâ€™s just me.
Before I finger this one deep I will say this; the photography was gorgeously polished, the use of red filters efficient and the religious symbolism somewhat striking. But all that coating couldnâ€™t save the flick from its â€śwho cares; I sure freaking donâ€™tâ€ť content. The â€śmeatâ€ť of this wet twat went a little bit like this. Priest and nun talk shop. Nun recollects horny stories. Nun debates with Mary Magdelaine (Bill), a nun wearing a rubber skull mask and a figure that represents Repression (Daly) in her head. The topic at hand of all this bla-bla? Desire, the pros and cons of being chaste, the dangers of repression, and the fear of eternal damnationâ€¦waitâ€¦you feel thatâ€¦yupâ€¦Iâ€™M FREAKING BORED OUT OF MY MIND!
And when the flick wasnâ€™t yapping me to death about drivel I couldnâ€™t care less about, it put out visual smut; nuns gyrate on the floor like restless worms while masturbating, a nun squeezes her own ample tits real tight together just like mommy thought her, nuns whip each otherâ€™s behinds (we all need hobbies), two horn dog priests teach some nun a dire lesson in â€ścock 101â€ť, and it all bursts out in a massive lesbian nun group sex romp where 69, cross sucking and SNM inclined crucifixion are tossed in there for the good of us all. Oh I almost forgot, thereâ€™s also some rinky-dink subplot that goes nowhere about some way annoying young stable stud that just wonâ€™t stop making an ass of himself as he picks up a local girl. Since the filmmakers didnâ€™t care about that story angle, neither did I. Roll End Credits.
And thatâ€™s the movie in a nipple shell. I donâ€™t know about you but I donâ€™t give a fudge as to why nuns are horny, how hard it is for them to abstain or the pro and cons of chastity in the name of our Lord. You knew the rules before you became a servant of God; now stop your whining, stay true to your vows or step off and join the circus! Needless to say; the filmâ€™s substance didnâ€™t do diddly-squat for me. The nun fetish also doesnâ€™t crank my knob; I prefer nurses, secretaries and Police Women; so that was out the window too! All I had left to hold to during this watch were a bunch of hot naked girls pretending to have sex. I didnâ€™t know what to do with that! Should I take out the â€śTurtle Waxâ€ť? Should I laugh my ass off? Should I destroy the DVD? Or should I put it in my collection where an artsy- horror- lesbian nuns - soft porn flick might be valuable someday. I be confused! GET ME JENNA JAMESON HERE NOW! I NEED SOME REAL FILTH TO SET ME STRAIGHT!
Nuns spread blood on each otherâ€™s melons. I guess they were out of baby oil.
WHO CARES! Itâ€™s an artsy- horror- lesbian nuns - soft porn! (the performances were â€śonâ€ť when it came to the women and â€śoffâ€ť when it came to the men)
T & A
Lots of snatches, tits, asses and nun outfits. Fans of Eileen Daily will be disappointed to know that she was made up to look repugnant here. Fans of Emily Booth will be bummed out to see that she was underused (meaning she didnâ€™t get it on to a graphic enough level).
We get mucho filters, a slick use of the color red, stylish angles and gnarly scene transitions. The flick looked sweet but its an artsy- horror- lesbian nuns - soft porn â€¦nough said.
We get a redundant porno type score to accompany the sex scenes but with a dark feel to it. Whatever.
Is it good? Is it bad? I DONâ€™T KNOW! I DONâ€™T CARE! All I know is that itâ€™s a well shot, artsy- horror- lesbian nuns - soft porn with an â€śitâ€™s damn hard to be a nun and hornyâ€ť pseudo philosophical dissection glued to its perky ass. If you get hard or wet off nuns going at it buck wild; give Sacred Flesh a shot! As for me; itâ€™s just not my bag. Like, at all! JENNA WHERE ARE YOU!!!!
The DVD sported an Audio Commentary by Director Nigel Windgrove. We also get two Trailers and a slew of galleries (all pics) that are: Publicity Materials- Soundtrack CD Images Storyboard Selection- photographic Stills- Behind The Scenes footage)
Jake West ("Razor Blade Smile") shot the opening titles sequence.
Sacred Flesh is now available to US audiences via Heretic Films.