ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Scary Movie 2 (2001)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Keenav Ivory Wayans

Starring:
Marlon Wayans/Shorty
Shawn Wayans/Ray
Anna Farris/Cindy
Regina Hall/Brenda
4 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
The Wayans Brothers return and this time they parody the “haunted house” genre and “mainstream” Hollywood flicks. Is it funny? Light up the bong and find out!
THE LOWDOWN
I’ll start off by saying that I usually love the Wayans Brothers and that I dug the original "Scary Movie" big-time! I’ll also go on record to say that the opening “Exorcist” spoof in this sequel starring the way kool “James Woods” is hilarious and fooled me into thinking that I was in for a side-splitting hour and a half. I was wrong…dead wrong.

The rest of "Scary Movie 2" is flatter than a blow-up doll after being used and abused. What happened here, guys? Did the studio pull the machete out on this one in the editing room? Did you do it just for the bread? Did Keenan really direct it? I don’t fucking get it! What we have here is a dull patch job of “parody clips” that sometimes made me smile but most of the time, had me staring at the screen stone faced. Where was the energy? The pace of the film is so off! The cohesive storyline? Yes, even in a parody you need one! The comic timing? Why stretch jokes that are just not funny? For example, the bird was funny once…ONCE! The amusing characters? Case in point: what the fuck was talent-challenged Tori Spelling doing in here? What’s going on, dudes???

Sure, the gross out element is there. Chris Elliott (Hansen) is just plain disgusting as the ugly freak with the warped hand. We also get another huge sperm spray and a giant black dick choking some poor clown. But does that mean that it's funny? It wasn’t to me. The film parodies "The Haunting", "What Lies Beneath", "Poltergeist 2" and other genre films but the gags that stuck out for me were the non-genre related ones like "Dude, Where’s My Car?", "Save The Last Dance", "MI2" and "Charlie’s Angels". Isn’t this flick called "Scary Movie 2"? You know…scary!!! Unfortunately for us genre fans, most of the “horror”-related jokes fail or are just forgettable.

The Wayans Brothers themselves are shamefully misused and underused in this film as well. Marlon Wayans’ Shorty cracked my ass up in the original but in this film, the material is so damn weak that he comes across as stupid and annoying. In the original, Shawn Wayans' gay antics made it happen for me but here they don’t capitalize enough on it. It's too bad because Shawn’s "gay shite" is funnnnny and this sequel needed more laughs.

On a positive note, I did smile a few times and I have to hand it to Anna Farris (Cindy) for not being afraid of making an ass out of herself. This girl does it all here and can clearly laugh at herself. She comes out of this a big winner. But on the whole, "Scary Movie 2" felt disjointed, is un-funny 90 percent of the time and had me wishing that it would end very fast. Where’s the Vodka? It’s time to mourn.
GORE
A sperm geyser, a puke fest, a very long black dick, inflatable tits, a man being smoked by weed plants (you heard me) and Tori Spelling’s face.
ACTING
Marlon Wayans (Shorty) is just not funny here and I grew tired of his antics very fast. Shawn Wayans (Ray) should’ve had more jokes because he’s one funny motherfucker. Anna Farris (Cindy) gets all my respect for pulling this off. She really goes all out in every scene and doesn’t censor herself one bit. Regina Hall (Brenda) has a few funny lines and yells a lot…again… Don’t even ask me what Tori Spelling (Alex) was doing in this film or what her part was all about. I don’t know or care. Kathleen Robertson (Theo) shows off her cleavage and tight ass. She’s not asked to do much here.

Chris Masterson (Buddy) does ok as the horny wannabe boyfriend. He downplays it and it works. Andy Richter (Father Karras) does fine with his brief cameo. Chris Elliott (Hansen) excels at playing the gross goofball and does it well again here…too bad that it’s just not funny. He does a fine impression of Kane in "Poltergeist 2" though. Tim Curry (Professor) earns a paycheck. David Cross (Dwight) has his moments and one bad haircut. James Woods (Priest) rocked my world as the "priest with the most" and it was definitely kool to see him having fun for a change. Richard Moll (Ghost) plays a ghost. Not much to say about that.
T & A
Shawn Wayans plays peek-a-boo with his dick and us hetero dudes get Farris, Hall and Robertson in their bra and underwear. We also get a close-up shot of Tori Spelling’s crotch…is that good? I wonder if she had surgery there too?
DIRECTING
Not much to say here. Mainly point and shoot. It was hard for me to appreciate this film from a visual standpoint since the script just didn’t do it for me. I will say that the editing is atrocious and probably ruined what could have been a decent sequel.
SOUNDTRACK
This flick needed more hip-hop to liven it up. We get a few tunes here and there but the score dominates the film and unfortunately for us, it’s putrid and sounds cheap.
BOTTOM LINE
More than half the jokes in this sequel don’t work. And since the characters are not as appealing as in the first film and the flow of the flick is off; the movie basically has nothing to fall back on. This sequel keeps its best gags for non-horror related films and that’s a low-down dirty shame. The horror genre is perfect fodder to laugh at and they should have concentrated more on it instead of wasting clock time with “mainstream” film jokes or a re-creation of the Nike b-ball commercial (not funny). I say watch “The Exorcist” opening and then get the fuck out and go rent "Scary Movie" again. What a bummer, I really wanted this sequel to be good. DAMN!
BULL'S EYE
Marlon Brando was supposed to play in the opening “Exorcist” skit but had to bail due to health reasons.

One of my fav scene in the trailer where Shorty blows weed smoke in the air and gets the ghost high is cut out of the finished film.

Indy regular Natasha Lyonne plays Jasonia Voorhees in the “Exorcist” clip. The flick was written by: Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Alyson Fouse, Greg Grabianski, Dave Polsky, Michael Anthony Snowden and Craig Wayans. THAT’S A LOT OF WRITERS!!! WAY TOO MANY! NO WONDER THIS FLICK DOESN’T STICK!
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