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Girls in Britain are easy, you give 'em one Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Seabiscuit. - Steve
I didnâ€™t got nuts for Christopher Smith's first fear flick CREEP like everybody else did but
I saw enough good shite within it to keep tabs on the lad as to his next project. So it was with semi reservations that I tackled his follow up
SEVERANCE. So did I have a hoot and bang the Nanny with if or what? Read on! Or better yet,
words to the wise; go surf some lesbo porn instead of wasting time on this
How I loved to love SEVERANCE? Let me count the ways! Character wise, I was treated to an engaging smarmy group of corporate types that were straight out of the TV show The Office. Although somewhat stereotypical, the smooth characterization at hand and the stellar acting made up for whatever sense of deja-vu that rammed my skull. Shaun of the Dead aside, Iâ€™ve never been much for British humor; just not my shtick, but I was delighted to witness yet another exception with this razor blade smile. The dialogue at hand was sharp, the comedic situations freaking hilarious (that dude on schrooms had me rolling on the floor like a "J" between Snoop Dogâ€™s fingers) and the ample satirical spices (by way of poking fun at the USâ€™s current war on terror), potent enough to make me chuckle and go â€śhmmmâ€ť. Now, what I just rambled about was actually the first half of the flick. Then the shift seamlessly happened.
The whole became a hardcore horror flick, one
that was low on giggles but high on inventiveness (dug the traps, wish I had some for my lawn), sly plays on conventions, lip biting suspense and yummy go crazy gore. The sudden
change in tone acted like a sucker punch in my dumbfounded mug. Since the first half was much softer and lighter, the
"pedal to the floor" second half hit me even harder than it should have since, much like me with love, I wasnâ€™t prepared for it. THANK YOU! I needed that vicious beating as my mom often professes. And when you Jenga on top of that some unique ways of communicating exposition (that old timer BnW back-story was gold), side splitting sexual innuendos, all kinds of flame thrower fun (me likey flame throwers) and two pairs of Hungarian ta-tas that have to be seen to be appreciated in all of their Hungarian glory, and you get a happy Arrow!
Any beefs with this big, bad, motherf*cker? Minor ones. Personally, I am fairly sick of genre flicks being set in the woods. We get it, itâ€™s a great low budget location, can we move on already? But thatâ€™s just me. And although the flick was novel for the most part, the initial premise was also somewhat cliched. Peeps in woods versus skilled maniacs. Been there done that too many times for me! Finally, I couldâ€™ve easily gone without that useless â€śdream sequenceâ€ť that felt solely there to provide a cheap jump before the real action began. Come on! The film was better than that.
On the whole though; you can now call me a Christopher Smith fan! Where he went wrong (in my useless opinion of course) with CREEP, he did it all right with this poodle. Easily one of the more biting and entertaining films I have seen this year thus far! Drop some mushrooms and cha-cha with SEVERANCE!