Species 3 (2004)
Director: Brad Turner
Eve (Natasha Henstridge in a cameo), the sexpot alien from "Species 2", Pez-dispenses a space invader daughter named Sara (Mabrey) into the world. Itâ€™s up to scientist/teacher Almond (Knepper) and his new young protĂ©gĂ©e Dean (Dunne) to keep her in check while they go about their own agendas as to what they want out of the dame. Oh and we get lots of bouncy melonsâ€¦and nice ones at thatâ€¦KLEENEX AND A SPONGE PLEASE!
THIS IS A REVIEW OF THE UNRATED VERSION
The original "Species" gave us a pinch of class with our â€śfromageâ€ť, "Species 2" served up a whole lot of filth for our cash and now lands "Species 3" on our doorsteps (Uncut DVD comes out on December 7th, 2004). To put it bluntly, this muffin was a direct to video/cable follow up that looked and acted like one. Thatâ€™s no surprise, since the â€ścutâ€ť version of the film debuts on the Sci-Fi Channel in November 2004. Let the dissection begin!
"Species 3" had its â€śgame onâ€ť when it came to two spices: the â€śfemale nudityâ€ť and â€śthe goreâ€ť. Much like Natasha Henstridgeâ€™s sexy show popped my varmint out of its trousers in Species 1-2, Sunny Mabrey (Sara) gave me the cold sweats via her sizzling display in Species 3. The gal was photogenic up the wazoo and flaunted that perfect figure, those â€śGrade Aâ€ť implants and that heart-shaped butt with pride. PRIDE I TELL YA! She could act too! Who knew? If that wasnâ€™t enough to keep the lube flowing, Amelia Cooke also leaped into the sand-box-smut mix, tits-a-flashing for our viewing pleasure. Yippee! Look at me, Ma! Iâ€™m Meryl Street! Iâ€™m acting! Add to the jizz-fest, mucho graphic gore that gave way to a couple of gnarly bits and you get the â€śtrashâ€ť checklist covered from A to Z. I am so grateful for that since without it, there wouldnâ€™t be much left to warrant sitting through this one.
Story wise, this one semi-played like the original "Species", mixed in with a Late Night Teen Soap episode and a dash of Herbert West/Dan Cain ("Re-Animator") for good measure. Apart from an interesting initial idea and the surprisingly solid acting by most keeping me in the loop, I canâ€™t say that the sequence of events moved me much. The narrative was just "there"...no more, no less. It was attractive enough to take me from one boob shot to one gore shot, one gore shot, to one boob shot and so on. Furthermore, I had lots of peeves with the substance at play. Here are a few examples:
The clumsily executed half-breed subplot didnâ€™t do it for me while the â€śfreaksâ€ť were all ugly men for some reason. Why do all the alien chicks come out looking like models, but the dudes emerge like â€śUgly Treeâ€ť victims? That canâ€™t be helping the mating process! Bad casting!
The random suspension of disbelief grated me where every Bio student understood the intricacies of alien DNA NO PROBLEMO and nobody reacted to the existence of aliens for some reason. COME ON!!
The stupid glowing eyes device used here launched the flick into tacky-ass land, first class! Urghâ€¦
Seriouslyâ€¦what was up with that gas attendant perv? Can you spell â€śPorno Movieâ€ť plot turn? Too cheapâ€¦even for me.
The sudden and half-price discount ending blew hard-knock-cocks with the crappy creature suits and the shoddy wire work taking me out of the movie. Talk about totally ruining a magnificent monster and a novel HR Giger design! BOOOOO!
Lastly, due to lack of budget, they sadly minimized the scope of this adventure, especially when compared to the two other Species films. Most of the action took place in a house and in a school. SNORE! Was this "Species 3" or Saved by the Bong? If thereâ€™s one thing that I enjoyed about the two other Species movies was their â€śon the moveâ€ť, â€ślocation/chase heavyâ€ť demeanor. You wonâ€™t find that groovy jive here. Overall, "Species 3" was akin to watching a well acted, but clearly by-the-numbers, Sci-Fi Channel product with lots of flesh and death to compensate for the obvious lack of moolah and imagination. To be honest, Sunny Mabreyâ€™s fine body aside...I wonâ€™t remember much about this generic slice of Salmon in 5-4-3-2-1â€¦.what was I rambling about again? Who knows? But Sunny Mabrey is one yummyliscious looking Panda!!!! YOWZER!
Get the Tampax! The blood flows! We get a blown up head, melting face, falling ear, tentacles in the head, a cut off arm, a gooey autopsy, a tentacle stabbing in the chest, a hole in the head, a burnt face, a dude split in half (nice), lots of plasma splashes and more!
Sunny Mabrey (Sara) burned the grill with her hot looks and handled her role adequately. Amelia Cooke (Amelia) did â€śokayâ€ť in a porn actress â€śfeelâ€ť type of way. Robin Dunne (Dean) and Robert Knepper (Almond) kept me watching due to their credible, focused and entertaining performances.
T & A
The filmmakers knew what sells and slapped an often-nude Sunny Mabrey into the stew. Great T and better A! NICE! As a bonus, we also get Amelia Cooke showing off her ta-tas with exquisite flair. Thanks hun! The ladies get a couple of shirtless dudes -- one of them being Robin Dunne who is in dire need of a tan.
Brad Turnerâ€™s filmography reads like a who's-who of Sci-Fi TV, having directed episodes of The Outer Limits, Stargate SG-1 and many more! So itâ€™s no surprise that Species 3 had that same safe, generic Sci-Fi channel look to it. Far from incompetent, but far from anything special too.
Elia Smiralâ€™s score was serviceable with hints of â€śabove the normâ€ť here and there. Overall though, it was standard, nothing like the remarkable score by Christopher Young found in the first Species.
If I would compare the Species flicks to â€śsex workersâ€ť I would say: Species is a middle class escort, Species 2 is a shameless/dirty working girl and Species 3 is a lazy street-corner floozy hooked on â€ś8 Ball". If it wasnâ€™t for the jaw-dropping sexy Sunny Mabrey, the ample bloodshed and the able performances by the two leads (Knepper and Dunne), I donâ€™t think I wouldâ€™ve endured this half baked hand-job till the end. Most shouldnâ€™t bother with this generically directed and scripted low budget Horror/Sci-Fi opus. It lacked in flamboyant action set pieces and production values. But if like me, you value the simple things (hot naked chicks and graphic kills), see it as a Sunday morning, â€śI burnt my pancakes and killed my wifeâ€ť, time waster. Just remember to get the unrated version! Donâ€™t cheat yourself out of the two main reasons to this see this Hoover in action: Skin and Slaughter!
Sunny Mabrey is from Gadsen, Alabama, USA. She made her feature film debut in â€śThe New Guyâ€ť, has appeared in the Limp â€śposeurâ€ť Bizquit video for "Nookie" and is engaged to actor Clayne â€ślucky bastardâ€ť Crawford from â€śSwimfanâ€ť.