ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: J.J. Abrams

Starring:
Daisy Ridley/Rey
Harrison Ford/Han Solo
Oscar Isaac /Poe
Adam Driver/Kylo Ren
8 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
30 years after the events of Return of the Jedi, the evil Empire has now become the the First Order fueled by Dark Side charged Kylo Ren (Adam Driver). Their goal is the same as Vader's was back in the day: to rule the galaxy. It will take a mix of old heroes like Han Solo (Harrison Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) and new heroes (Daisy Ridley, John Boyega) to stop them!
THE LOWDOWN

Yes I'm reviewing STAR WARS. Why? Cause it's STAR WARS. Nough said!

The new generation has the internet and I had Star Wars! The movies, the toys (so many adventures went down cause of them) and the countess hours playing “Wars pretend" in the back yard with my brother and pals. Shit, I still remember when my dad brought my brother and I to the Drive-In to see Star Wars, Empire and Jedi all back to back. We lost it back then! So you can imagine my disappointment when THE PHANTOM MENACE crash landed in 1999 to stink up the joint. Pod race, Ewan McGregor, end saber fight and Duel of the Fates ditty aside, the movie was pretty much a waste.

Now I wasn’t one of those that managed to fool himself into thinking that PHANTOM MENACE was the tits – I knew it sucked ass right off the bat and my opinion has yet to change about it to this day. And although ATTACK OF THE CLONES and REVENGE OF THE SITH (the latter is my fav of Lucas’ CG overloaded prequels) wound up being good movies, you can say that my hope of getting a genuine Star Wars fix once again someday was lost. That’s until J.J. Abrams took a hold of the franchise and fan-serviced the shit out of me. Thank Crom Lucas stepped down! Can we have him do the same with Indiana Jones now? My gut tells me he’s to blame for that last “CG monkey madness” embarassment. But I digress...

Yes with THE FORCE AWAKENS, STAR WARS is back for REAL this time! The wam-bam that Abrams brought to his STAR TREK movies (which negated what Star Trek is all about IMO but that's for another article) fit like a rubber with the more adventure driven and less cerebral M.O. of this groovy series. Hence while clocking START WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS I was back to that aura that I loved so much while growing up. FORCE AWAKENS gunned out an endearing mix of nostalgia, obvious affection for the source material and an intelligent expansion of what was already established. The nods/winks to Lucas initial trilogy were frequent (much to my delight, I won’t spoil the surprises) and the hefty use of practical effects/miniature models over CGI was mucho appreciated by this jerk.

I was engaged on a story level as well. Some elements/turns felt very familiar (writers Abrams, Jedi/Empire scribe Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt stuck close to the trilogy) but I got stimulated by them none the less and the new ground that the film laid out proved to be incredibly promising when it came to the tales to come in future films. Visually J.J. Abrams stayed as faithful to the START WARS that I know as he could (by emulating similar camera tricks and scene transitions) while randomly displaying a more “verite” style and all kinds of awe inspiring shots of the varied settings (loved the snow scene). On that, even though the money was on the screen, it was the people that got me to TRULY care about what went down. The new cast hooked me in right away; lovely Daisy Ridley was ideal and mucho likeable as our new heroine, think Luke Skywalker-ish! John Boyega brought in some heart and comic relief to the proceeding as the fallen Storm Trooper. LOVED HIM! Oscar Isaac was ALMOST a new Han Solo as Poe... I said almost. I so dug his mix of healthy arrogance and honor. And Adam Driver nailed it as the Darth Vader groupie that was Kylo Ren. Inne rage, ambition and vulnerability all at once. The Dark Side is strong with him that's for sure!

When it came to the old dogs; Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill (who's in the movie for like a minute), Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew and company came through but it was Harrison Ford that stole the show. His old cynical schtick didn’t really work for me when it came to being an elder Indiana Jones, but it was genius as an old Han Solo. Ford got the best scenes and lines here and I can't remember the last time he was this good. Add to all that plot twists that carried lots of weight (yes I cried), John Williams coming back to compose the heck out of this one, astounding costume/set designs (the Storm Troopers never looked this good), all kinds of Star Wars fanboy pleasing moments (the sound of a Tie Fighter flying alone brought a boner to my chinos) new characters that will warm your thumper (like BB-8 who is, let’s face it, the new R2D2) and as many laughs as there was drama and you get a STAR WARS film to remember!

Any peeves? A couple. I found that the flick relied on coincidences a little too much and the story was fairly predictable. But hey, maybe that’s just me. Moreover I was underwhelmed by the final spaceship battle. Don’t get wrong, nothing putrid here, but I expected more intricate and elaborate bits than what I got. And was I alone in thinking that Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis) was a little too Lord of the Rings reject for his own good? A regular human being would have sufficed to fill in that role. Finally I was so pumped to see Gwendoline Christie tackle the role of Captain Phasma (the first female Storm Trooper in the franchise to my knowledge that is) and was bummed to see that her role was a throwaway. They better make amends for that SIN in the next one!

All in all though STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS hit all of my proper “Star Wars geek” buttons. I was wowed, I laughed, I cried, I was taken aback and I left the theatre one happy son of a Jawa! What else can you ask for? STAR WARS is back and it looks like it’s here to stay this time! I can't wait to see it again, now with my expectations out of the way! MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

GORE
Other than a slew of ugly ass creatures, some cut off tentacles and VERY light blood, nothing here! It' STAR WARS man! You should not be looking at this section. ;)
T & A
Chewbacca was naked - under all that hair that is!
BOTTOM LINE
I love writing about movies like this. Why? Cause my two cents won't mean an iota of a a sprinkle of a flying bleep to you and your decision to see it or not. So check it out for yourself, come back here and let me know what you thought via the comments section below. Personally STAR WARS THE FORCE AWAKENS had most of its bases covered. It managed to tap into the endearing vibe that made the first trilogy so cool, it slammed my nostalgia button down hardcore, the old cast and the new cast kicked some SERIOUS ass (Harrison Ford!!!!!!), the flick put out enough plot twists to affect me and make me man-cry while the visual effects, the crazy action scenes and the laughs hit home. Granted there were too many coincidences here for my liking, the end spaceship fight was a bit weak, Supreme Leader Snoke kinda sucked CG balls and Captain Phasma was pretty much wasted. But on the whole though, THE FORCE AWAKENS was the STAR WARS movie we were supposed to get in 1999. J.J. Abrams out "Lucas-ed" George Lucas with this one and I for one can't wait for the follow up!
BULL'S EYE
BB-8 was inspired by one of Ralph McQuarrie's first concepts for R2-D2.

Michael Fassbender, Lee pace and Hugo Weaving were all considered for the role of Kylo Ren.

I hear that Simon Pegg appears in the film. I didn't see him. Did you?
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1:33AM on 12/20/2015

Pegg was Unkar

...the ''instant bread'' trader on Jakku. Enjoyed the movie quite a bit. funny though the coincidences sentiment. lets count coincidences in the OT...jawas that catch threepio and artoo just happened to be headed for destiny's hero....luke just happens to land next door to yoda's hut...jabba just happened to bring our heroes to the sarlaac instead of just blasting them in the parlour.....lets be honest here, MOST movies rely on a certain (usually high( degree of coincidence.
Buttfuck it....who
...the ''instant bread'' trader on Jakku. Enjoyed the movie quite a bit. funny though the coincidences sentiment. lets count coincidences in the OT...jawas that catch threepio and artoo just happened to be headed for destiny's hero....luke just happens to land next door to yoda's hut...jabba just happened to bring our heroes to the sarlaac instead of just blasting them in the parlour.....lets be honest here, MOST movies rely on a certain (usually high( degree of coincidence.
Buttfuck it....who cares? star wars is back in a big way!
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+0
10:37PM on 12/16/2015

Simon Pegg

He was either the thing that buys Reys scrap, or he was the similar looking thing that's chilling on the sofa when the gang enter Maz's temple. I'm pretty sure it was the latter.
He was either the thing that buys Reys scrap, or he was the similar looking thing that's chilling on the sofa when the gang enter Maz's temple. I'm pretty sure it was the latter.
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+0
5:20PM on 12/16/2015
Jealous Moe Fro, Jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jealous Moe Fro, Jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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