Director: Jeremy Haft
Matthew Marsden/Mr. Natolly
Nerdy "Witch chick" (Dewan) is made fun of and accidentally killed by the â€śschool hipstersâ€ť. Nerdy "Witch chick" then comes back from the dead wearing a shorter than short mini skirt, sporting supernatural powers and a thirst for revenge. And thenâ€¦she kills timeâ€¦bughâ€¦
I just got a slew of dĂ©jĂ vus over here! Nerdy chick played by an obviously GREAT LOOKING actress that a bunch of â€śtoo old to act in such an immature wayâ€ť kool
kids pick on. Can you spell â€śSHEâ€™S ALL THATâ€ť? I sure can! Or how about the
black-sheep girl gifted with magic powers to take revenge on the bullies and the single parent (a child molesting booze hound dad) thatâ€™s been busting her chops? Yup CARRIE! Unfortunately TAMARA wound up being SHEâ€™S ALL THAT meets THE CRAFT meets CARRIE butâ€¦without the straight forward payback of the latter! Whatâ€™s going on here?
had me firmly by the jewels off the bat and then gradually lost me as she wiggled her ass forward. The first 30 minutes established its familiar premise slyly, introduced the hot nerd gal in a
â€śI will root for herâ€ť
fashion and a bunch of â€śthey must dieâ€ť
faux kool kids.
NOTE ON THE KIDS:
Why they were led by a steroid taking Jock who was as
thin as a rake eludes me; talk about bad casting! So yes taking into account the peeps I had to play with here,
I WANTED THEM TO DIE REAL BAD!
That was the point right? Alas, after the first GORY KILL
(see it here)
, our girl TAMARA went on to tease the shit out of me by not delivering the sloppy Joe goods in the way that she shouldâ€™ve.
Now donâ€™t get me wrong I was somewhat entertained throughout, with Tamara in question looking so damn freaking sexy that Arrow Jr. popped in for a cup of tea! The occasional gruesome bits also hit the spot while the random moments of daring creativity (like making two straight guys bang each otherâ€¦lol) kicked in hard to add a fresh splash of plasma to a somewhat known formula. But this was one of those cases where sticking and running with the clichĂ©s wouldâ€™ve worked best since the alternative wound up being fairly blahâ€¦ to me anyways. You see, selfish TAMARA decided that she wasnâ€™t going to be a body count/revenge film. Oh no, she was too good for that jive! Instead she tried to be a supernatural Soap Opera with a â€śmind controlâ€ť angle driven by a
â€śwho gives a shite, I sure donâ€™tâ€ť
love story. Talk about running against your potential! And since I couldnâ€™t give
care less about most of the characters or their connect the dots relationships; the bulk of the â€śpeopleâ€ť driven narrative totally went over my rod.
And what was up with the practically innocent duder getting it hardcore while the a-holes who were REALLY responsible for what happened got killed in throwaway fashion? Thatâ€™s not how you satisfy an audience man or get me on Tamaraâ€™s side for that matter (That dude was innocent
girl!)! The â€śfiller and cheapâ€ť use of dream sequences also grated me where they were obviously there to add superficial pizzazz to the film as opposed to serving or even amplifying the storyline. Yes more dicking
around in the name of â€śnot muchâ€ť. Add to that Tamara NOT dropping her top as she
shouldâ€™ve had in this type of film and a sappy inclined ending that had me
groaning and you get a clear cut B Movie/Smut inclined/Revenge opus that for
some reason decided to be a prude.
On the whole though, Tamara was a fairly harmless watch, with Jenna Dewanâ€™s sexy presence (and buttocks) often becoming my point of focus when the â€śMelrose Place with magicâ€ť storyline would let me down. You could do better than spanking this dame, you can do worseâ€¦ or you can rent Dead Alive for the gore and a Jenna Jameson flick for the tit stuff instead. Your move partners!
We get some random blood splashes, a cut off ear/tongue/exact-o knife in the eye, a ripped throat, an impaling, hefty blood puking and more! When it came time to be bloody, TAMARA took the Tampon out! Good stuff!
Jenna Dewan (Tamara) was one of the better actresses here, exuding credible pathos when in nerd mode and mesmerizing sexual confidence when back from the dead. She hit all of the right emotional and physical notes! Katie Stuart (Chloe) was convincing as the â€śAmy Irving in Carrie roleâ€ť of this tale. The script didnâ€™t give her much to do but she made the best of it! Matthew Marsden (Mr. Natolly) was likeable as the older, good looking lad. Claudette Mink (Sheila) was on the ball in terms of delivering the proper intent and intensity with her role. Chad Faust (Jesse) was pretty much the only"bully" I gave a fudge about; charismatic and natural.
T & A
You got to shave when you wear short skirts like Tamara doesâ€¦and I donâ€™t mean your legs! Too bad her top stayed on! We do see her in her undies thoughâ€¦NICE!
Jeremy Haft did an admirable job, building minor tension, sprucing the whole up with slick angles/quick cuts and delivering enough flashiness to wake up the low attention spanned of the world. Too bad the screenplay couldnâ€™t keep up!
We get so â€śokayâ€ť rock ditties, lousy rap tunes and a serviceable score.
If youâ€™re gonna set up your film as a smutty, B-Movie with grating immature teens getting axed by a sexually charged chick from hell, donâ€™t go and hold back on the sex fun and the vengeance man! Thatâ€™s just wrong! The wandering around in â€śmind controlâ€ť and â€ślovey doveyâ€ť land spiel I got instead just didnâ€™t cut it for me! Although evenly paced, fairly graphic with its red grub and showing off one of the sexiest â€śnewcummersâ€ť of the year in Jenna Dewan, TAMARA deviated too much from what it shouldâ€™ve been for me to give it a full middle finger up.
Screenwriter Jeffrey Reddick also wrote Final Destination 1-2-3 and the upcoming Day of the Dead remake.
Jenna Dewan is 5' 3" and has toured with Puff Daddy, Diddy or whatever that clown is called as a dancer.
VISIT THE OFFICIAL TAMARA SITE HERE