ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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The Crazies (2010)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Breck Eisner.

Starring:
Timothy Olyphant/David
Radha Mitchell/Judy
Joe Anderson/Russell
Danielle Panabaker/Becca
PLOT-CRUNCH
The town folks of a small Iowa town start going craaaaaaaaaaaazy after some loony inducing virus is accidentally unleashed upon them. Will too cool for the mental ward Timothy Olymphant stop the madness?
THE LOWDOWN
I saw George Romero’s THE CRAZIES eons ago. How long has it been? I saw it on VHS that’s how f*cking long. And to be honest I don’t remember much of it other than a cut-away subplot of military types yapping away and one scene having to do with some dude nailing his “craaaazy” daughter. I guess what I’m getting at is that what I do remember of the 1973 THE CRAZIES, its edge and exposition, were nowhere to be found in this remake, retelling, reboot, re-tool, stop starving Hollywood screenwriters who pen original work... what ever they’re called now late.

Although way too rushed to work as a social commentary (which Romero’s version of course did), I got some elbow drops out of THE CRAZIES, but mostly of the cheap and easy variety. I dug the look of the picture (somewhat grainy which kind of gave it a retro feel) and to say the fucko was on the move would be an understatement. It opened, crazy shit kicked in and then it rarely stopped to scratch its nuts yet alone to actually delve into anything beyond the surface. The characters, their relationships, the dire situation, the why behind it all…. all glanced at and then booted aside to make way for some non-stop horror nades. So yeah on one end I was having fun clocking our heroes fight through and survive a myriad of “crazies going crazy” scenarios, I got a couple of good jolts and some of the set pieces came with a healthy dose of effective suspense… but on the other end… I kept asking myself.... why the rush? Take your time, build up to shit, I'm in no hurry, I'm here to watch a movie! Yup, the story needed some beefing up and some room to breathe.

Moreover, predictability was factor as I saw this one’s every turn coming from miles away. You’ve seen 28 Weeks Later or even Carriers and you’ll know where this tramp will be hooking her bootie, before she does.Going against the grain and taking chances within the subgenre its toying in would’ve helped make this routine/by the numbers flick feel fresher. And will I mention how the dumb moves to serve the plot and the many conveniences grated me? I guess I just did. Thankfully the actors on hand made it all worthwhile. I’m a huge Timothy Olymphant fan and once again, he took a meh role on paper and made it come to life via his inimitable presence and talent. Love that dude! Olyphant had some able support as well. Radha Mitchell did what she had to do adequately (basically get in trouble and wait for her man to save her ass) while Joe Anderson (Russell) almost stole the show with his endearing display. Cutie Danielle Panabaker was just “there” as Becca, not her fault, she didn’t have much of a role; at least she was easy on the crotch.

All in all THE CRAZIES rolled on fast, was amusing and made for a good time waster…but that was pretty much it. It was too hollow, cold and connect the dots for it to make a dent in my noggin. I’ll actually say that maybe the timing was wrong for a THE CRAZIES remake being that its game has been done to death in the last 5 years. But hey what do I know…maybe I’m the crazy one over here! I am after all like a dog chasing cars, I wouldn’t know what to do if I caught one… you know… I just do things!
GORE
Not a gore fest but messy enough for my liking. We get mangled infected faces, mucho dead bodies, a knife in the hand/neck, pitchfork impaling, bullets in the head and that’s pretty much it.
T & A
None what so ever. Am pretty sure Romero’s original at least had a tit shot.
BOTTOM LINE
As I was watching THE CRAZIES, I was rocking and rolling. But once out of the screening, the more time went by, the more the film faded away from my one brain cell. And when I finally got to this so called review, I asked myself: "Did I just see a movie?" Yup it was one of those. THE CRAZIES had a sleek, eye candy look to it, slammed some cool action/horror scenes my way, sported a Grade A cast (Olymphant is the shite!) and its pace was fast and furious. But to me, it felt more like a string of familiar action/horror scenes backed up by a half cocked “why” than a full fledged movie. Way too vacuous and predictable (every move was telegraphed) to stand tall and proud.. My advice, see it on DVD with a beer in one hand and a knob polishing severed head in the other – may go down better that way.
BULL'S EYE
Breck Eisner also directed the ho-hum SAHARA (2005) starring Matthew McConaughey. He's supposed to do THE BROOD remake next.

George A. Romero was executive producer on the film.

Scott Kosar also wrote the The Amityville Horror (2005) remake.

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6:00PM on 08/22/2010
Surprisingly good actually. Sure, its nothing new but the cast and the serious tone of the film help it rise above most of the horror movies to come out recently.
Surprisingly good actually. Sure, its nothing new but the cast and the serious tone of the film help it rise above most of the horror movies to come out recently.
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+0
9:15AM on 08/22/2010

Forgettable...

I've never seen the original but now I'm compelled to. This movie had good intentions but every scare, kill, what-have-you was well advertised ahead of time. There was no rhyme or reason to the kills either which seems like the point until the mother and son of the slain town drunk show up to kill Olyphant. Meanwhile, we have the school principal impaling random people with a pitchfork. Too messy for me.
I've never seen the original but now I'm compelled to. This movie had good intentions but every scare, kill, what-have-you was well advertised ahead of time. There was no rhyme or reason to the kills either which seems like the point until the mother and son of the slain town drunk show up to kill Olyphant. Meanwhile, we have the school principal impaling random people with a pitchfork. Too messy for me.
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10:57AM on 07/21/2010
Olyphant owned, the movie looked good and the pitchfork/hospital scene was actually pretty intense. I dug it for what it was and since I had low expectations, I can't deny I enjoyed it.
Olyphant owned, the movie looked good and the pitchfork/hospital scene was actually pretty intense. I dug it for what it was and since I had low expectations, I can't deny I enjoyed it.
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11:25AM on 06/30/2010

One of the Best Remakes ever made.

Just recently watched this on Blu-ray. "The Crazies" is a surprisingly solid movie. Strong performances are one of the main attractions, especially Joe Anderson is the standout.

Terrific Cinematography and strong suspenseful moments makes this one of the best remakes since "John Carpenter`s The Thing" and "David Cronenberg`s The Fly".
Just recently watched this on Blu-ray. "The Crazies" is a surprisingly solid movie. Strong performances are one of the main attractions, especially Joe Anderson is the standout.

Terrific Cinematography and strong suspenseful moments makes this one of the best remakes since "John Carpenter`s The Thing" and "David Cronenberg`s The Fly".
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10:31PM on 05/13/2010

Disappointing...

but i still found some enjoyment.
I was REALLY looking forward to this film but i was REALLY let down. I was hoping for a very scary and suspenseful time with likable and developed characters, which is what i should've gotten with only having four main characters.
The acting was top notch...but no character development and the action started too soon. They should've set up the town and the characters and then slowly led into the destruction. I was hoping for a great thought provoking
but i still found some enjoyment.
I was REALLY looking forward to this film but i was REALLY let down. I was hoping for a very scary and suspenseful time with likable and developed characters, which is what i should've gotten with only having four main characters.
The acting was top notch...but no character development and the action started too soon. They should've set up the town and the characters and then slowly led into the destruction. I was hoping for a great thought provoking time...but i still got a fun popcorn flick, so i'll take what i get.

oh and the ending shot blew!
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4:02PM on 04/18/2010

GOOD STUFF!

GREAT FILM ! I hope we'll have a sequel !
GREAT FILM ! I hope we'll have a sequel !
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+0
3:59AM on 04/04/2010

The Lamies.

average at best. I was waiting for this remake and was very dissapionted.
average at best. I was waiting for this remake and was very dissapionted.
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+0
10:45AM on 03/01/2010

I digged it...

Maybe I'm easy, but I really enjoyed this flick. It was everything I wanted it to be and I left very satisfied. It was no 28 Days Later, but it was sooo much better than most recent flicks in this genre. Olyphant and Mitchell were very well cast and kept me rooting for them through the grim proceedings. The car wash scene was fantastic and a couple other set pieces really stand out and show Mr. Eisner has some talent in this genre.
Maybe I'm easy, but I really enjoyed this flick. It was everything I wanted it to be and I left very satisfied. It was no 28 Days Later, but it was sooo much better than most recent flicks in this genre. Olyphant and Mitchell were very well cast and kept me rooting for them through the grim proceedings. The car wash scene was fantastic and a couple other set pieces really stand out and show Mr. Eisner has some talent in this genre.
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9:35AM on 03/01/2010

....

This movie had so much potential! I can't believe this movie was so ''meh'', they should have taken their time with characters and the plot. I was very interested in what was going on with the black SUV, but it didn't really go anywhere. Why would that dude just be chillin in the town? .....dissapointment.
This movie had so much potential! I can't believe this movie was so ''meh'', they should have taken their time with characters and the plot. I was very interested in what was going on with the black SUV, but it didn't really go anywhere. Why would that dude just be chillin in the town? .....dissapointment.
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2:25AM on 02/26/2010

SUBFORCE

Subforce, im not sure which crazies you saw... but the only nudity is at the very beginning, when the couple is in bed, and judy gets up after answering the phone, and you see one shot from the side.
the scene with Kathy and her dad was fully clothed.
Subforce, im not sure which crazies you saw... but the only nudity is at the very beginning, when the couple is in bed, and judy gets up after answering the phone, and you see one shot from the side.
the scene with Kathy and her dad was fully clothed.
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4:05PM on 02/24/2010
I think I still only dig Olyphant for his drug dealer role in "Go". Nothing else really stands out. But damn, he was tiiiiight in that movie.
I think I still only dig Olyphant for his drug dealer role in "Go". Nothing else really stands out. But damn, he was tiiiiight in that movie.
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3:25PM on 02/24/2010

THe orginal DID have a tit shot, however

It was during the incest scene sooooo, kinda on the ewwww side.
It was during the incest scene sooooo, kinda on the ewwww side.
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+0
11:03AM on 02/24/2010

Thanks for the review!

I'm gonna see it anyway because that's what horror fans do lol! I saw the original with George at a screening in New York about 5 years ago. His Q&A afterwards was great. That's where I snapped my cool profile pic you see.
I'm gonna see it anyway because that's what horror fans do lol! I saw the original with George at a screening in New York about 5 years ago. His Q&A afterwards was great. That's where I snapped my cool profile pic you see.
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