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The Curse (1987)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: David Keith

Wil Wheaton/Zachary
Claude Akins/Nathan
Malcolm Danare/Cyrus
John Schneider/Carl
4 10
Whippin boy Zach (Wheaton) lives on a farm with his mom, his younger sister, his over religious stepdad and his fat, hairy, dumb as Clinton step brother. When a strange meteor falls on their land and contaminates the water, it poisons the crops, makes the animal go nuts and turns the family into crazy a-holes with big zits instead of just a-holes. Will John Schneider save the day without the "General Lee" car or the dashing Luke??? Do we care?????
This is actor David Keith’s (Firestarter) directorial debut. It’s based on HP Lovecraft’s "The Colour Out Of Space". I can’t say he sucks as a director but I can say the movie blows. First off I think a bigger budget would have been needed. Some of the effects are crappy to say the least and the house crumbling scene at the end looks like it was done with a deck of cards. The movie is well paced, has an interesting premise but for some reason it just doesn’t hold together. Maybe it’s the choppy editing, maybe it’s the many uninvolving subplots about the death of farm life or the doctor’s wife being a money grubbing tramp, maybe it’s the Charley character (Carlisle) who’s very annoying and dumb as horse doodle, maybe it’s the bad prosthetic effects or the stepbrother’s (Danare) fat hairy ass, displayed on a regular basis. It just doesn’t gel. What we’re left with is a good idea and Wil Wheaton getting slapped around. I know some people would love to shell out 4 bucks to see some Wil Wheaton abuse, I’m just not one of those people. The curse is on us guys…
Bad face prosthetics, some cheap gooey fun and a bloody chicken attack scene.
Wil Wheaton (Zach) gives a quiet introspective show. Without speaking much, the audience knows exactly what’s going on with the character…that’s good acting. Claude Akins (Nathan) is very believable as the scary step dad with way too much love for the lord. Coope Huckabee (Forbes) is sympathetic as the good doctor, more of him would have been needed. Malcolm Danare (Cyrus) should never act again, he’s just bad and lets his fat ass do all the work. Kathleen Jordan Gregory (Frances) underplays the unhappy wife part and succeeds in gaining our sympathy. John Schneider (Carl) does good here even without his nice car. Amy Wheaton (Alice and Wil’s real life sister) also does good and cries on Q. Steve Carlisle (Charley) is part of the school of stereotype acting. His performance is all about mugging for the camera and chomping on a cigar. He should go back to flipping burgers.
T & A
Malcolm Danare’s butt is the real monster of the movie. Pull your pants up dude!!! I’m gonna hurl!!!!!
Keith displays a few nice shots, uses some kool blue filters and delivers a great pace.
Some synthesizer mixed with some country twang…amusing…
I’m sure that with a bigger budget and without the subplots this movie could have been good. I admire Keith for trying to deliver a strong message (the end of family farms, people trying to buy them out to build condos or dams on their land) but the way it’s handled is very clumsy and one dimensional. Ad to that a hairy, smelly stepbrother, a small budget, unlikeable paper thin secondary characters (the doctor’s wife played by Hope North is one stinking actress) and an unsatisfying ending, you get a bad movie. Should of concentrated on making a horror flick, instead of a parable on the hardships of farmers.
Notice in an early breakfast scene Frances (Kathleen Jordan Gregory) calls Zachary (Wil Wheaton) Wil.

The movie was called "The Farm" at first. It cost 1.5 million to make.

The same Lovecraft story was adapted before in 1965, it was called Die, Monster, Die and starred Boris Karloff.
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