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ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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The Hidden (1987)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Jack Sholder

Starring:
Michael Nouri/Tom
Kyle MacLachlan/Lloyd
Claudia Christian/Brenda
8 10
PLOT-CRUNCH
An anarchist body-swapping alien comes to earth to raise some hell and it’s up to that dude from "Flashdance" (Michael Nouri), his impeccable hair and a good Alien cop (McLachlan) to put an end to his slaughter festival. Crank up the volume, rev up the Ferraris, load up the shotguns and let’s party like it was 1987!
THE LOWDOWN
"I’m not coming out yet...I’ll kill you first"-- The Hidden

"The Hidden" is an underrated, highly entertaining, tasty mishmash of "Body Snatchers", "The Terminator", "The Thing" and any “good” buddy cop flick out there. This bad boy crashed in hard through my TV screen via one of the more memorable opening car chase scenes to ever grace my eyeballs. I mean, everything was tossed in there and I just couldn’t help but relish the psycho alien’s unrepentant glee when it came to “beaucoup” CARNAGE. Just remember the “guy in the wheel chair” and the “glass plate dudes”. OH YEAH!

After the mucho gripping intro, the film went on to embrace its “raison d’etre” without an ounce of pretense as to what it is and what it wanted to accomplish. At the same time, it surprised with excellent writing and performances all around. And that’s not all, mofos! While tossing brutal violence our way, rocking heavy metal, a clever use of 80’s ditties (all about the "stripper in the car grabbing her tits" scene) and hot cars that will make you swoon (a Porsche and many Ferraris), the film also managed to sport witty circumstantial humor and funny buddy cop repartee. DAMN! The coup de grace was the credible drama in the house that actually had me feel for all the players involved and that the whole shebang was put out through a pace that just kept cracking heads non-stop. If you get bored while watching this bottle of pure whoop-ass, then I don’t have the faintest clue as to what would get you jazzed up (the Olsen twins perhaps?).

Any drawbacks to this adrenaline shot to the skull? Well, my only complaints have to do with the last act. First and foremost, a small plot hole arose when it came to the alien’s “master plan”. Although a good idea, did he forget that he uses up the bodies of his hosts fairly quickly therefore his new found “stature” wouldn’t last too long? I also had trouble with the last frames of the picture. Although the ending made sense in a “full circle” kind of way, after some reflection, I just thought the outcome was kind of out of line. Lastly, why did the bad alien look one way in true form and the good alien look another way in true form. Aren’t they the same species? That always annoyed me.

But other than my anal nitpicks, "The Hidden" was one hell of a satisfying mayhem concert. It's tight, it's violent, it's unapologetic and it's a freaking riot to boot. Ask yourself this question: Would I get kicks out of seeing a scantily clad stripper (played by Claudia Christian no less), holding a massive shot gun and blowing the hell out of a cop car? If you answered “yes” to that query, then you’re at the right demolition derby. Discover this cult classic and have a blast or I’ll beat the living daylights out of ya with heavy metal music booming in the background. ROCK, ROLL AND DESTROY!
GORE
We get some icky parasite business, tentacles bursting out of one’s skin and mucho bloody squib shots. Kevin Yagher was the man behind the makeup effects.
ACTING
Michael Nouri (Tom) was all “Nouried” up in this flick and I adored his performance. Where did this guy and his hair go? He was the shite! Kyle MacLachlan (Lloyd) gave his character the right amount of ambiguousness and offbeat nature to make him believable and endearing. His chemistry with Nouri was also "on". Claudia Christian (Brenda) blows shit up and looks smashing doing it. That’s enough for me!
T & A
Claudia Christian looked great in that thong and crawling about like a pussycat during a “strip club” show. She looked even better grabbing her own breasts or brandishing a firearm and going “pow wow”. The ladies get Michael Nouri shirtless many o' times.
DIRECTING
Jack Sholder’s directing got the job done and that’s what counts here. The action sequences were well shot, the pace was swift and some of the establishing shots and/or scene transitions were quite stylish. I would’ve liked more “mood” though, I found the film to be too bright at times, but that’s just me being a jack-off. In my opinion, this is Sholder’s most accomplished film on every level.
SOUNDTRACK
We get some rocking tunes like “On your Feet” from Shock Paris, “Weapons of Love” from The Truth and “Still in Hollywood” by Concrete Blonde. We also get a badass score by Michael Covertino that backhands where it counts.
BOTTOM LINE
"The Hidden" was a BIG favorite of mine when I was an annoying kid and it thankfully still held up like a left hook to the head today, now that I’m an annoying adult acting like a kid. Mean guns, slick Ferraris, sexy firearm taunting stripper, slimy alien, insane car chases, violence galore, hot tunes, a sly sense of humor and a tight script. What else do you want from a horror jamboree? A damn hand job?!? Cowboy the hell up and go rent it NOW!
BULL'S EYE
When the stripper jumps the building, check the bottom left corner of your screen and you’ll see the air bag pop out.

Jack Sholder also directed "Nightmare on Elm Street 2" and "Wishmaster 2".

Screenwriter Jim Kouf wrote "The Hidden". He also wrote the blockbuster hits “Stakeout” and “Rush Hour”.

Claudia Christian is known to be bi-sexual in real life.

Avoid "The Hidden 2" like your psycho ex-girlfriend. IT FREAKING SUCKS CARROT STICKS!
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