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Ultraviolet (2006)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Kurt Wimmer

Starring:
Milla Jovovich/Violet
Cameron Bright/Six
Nick Chinlund/Daxus
William Fichtner/Garth
PLOT-CRUNCH
Her name is Violet; she was born into a world that we might not understand. One that consists of: fashion chic clothes, nifty sunglasses, a storyline that doesn’t hold up, bad dialogue and unfinished visual effects work. Yup, V, you’re right sweet cheeks…I don’t f*cking understand!
THE LOWDOWN
Whether it’s fully his fault or not Writer/Director Kurt Wimmer just shot himself in the foot…CLEAN, with his latest opus Ultraviolet! What a bummer! From the humble, low budget Brian Bosworth “actionner” One Man's Justice, to the expertly crafted Sci-Fi/Action/Drama Equilibrium, I had high hopes for Wimmer’s career, expecting him to become the next James Cameron. Ultraviolet should’ve been his big break!

What went down on this production? I don’t know for sure, but I’ll tell ya what it felt like; a Studio cutting its losses and dumping “an unfinished motion picture” in the audience’s lap. How else could you make sense of the abysmal looking and blatantly “incomplete” CGI that was in the film? Those helicopters looked like Atari graphic templates…how embarrassing! I’ve never seen a Studio picture with the gall to present partial CG work in a released film. I couldn’t believe it (yes I should get a life). The careless narrative structure that gave me the impression that they made up the “story” in the editing room with the footage they had didn’t help to convince me that this film was Wimmer’s vision either. What was that vampire angle all about again? What was the “kid’s” M.O.? Why was the bad guy a clean freak? WHO CARES! The film’s plot kept changing its own rules at its own leisure, insulting my ass in the process. You could actually see the narrative struggling to connect the dots and get at the finish line with the hopes of making some kind of sense! DIDN’T HAPPEN!

The re-used footage, the botched fight sequences to hide the lack of coverage (all about that rooftop fast motion fiasco) and the slew of Sci-Fi gadgets with no logic behind them soured my watch as well. I can’t count the times that I threw my arms up in the air in despair, provoked by the utter nonsense I was witnessing! The frustration ensued via the awful lines, the atrocious acting by the side players (that Vamp leader…hold me back!) and the awkward drama that made me hurl in its “Hallmark card” nature. Come on man! Give me something to hold on to over here! SOMETHING!  Finally (and I mean that) the coup de grace was administered through the un-credible/shaky relationships and the wider than Jenna Jameson’s anus plot holes (swords that catch fire…the use of a bright red truck when wanting to be incognito…urg). Talk about an 85 minutes insult!

Anything uppity to say about this pieced together Frankenstein monster? Well, Milla Jovovich looked hotter than Dante’s Inferno, her heart shaped ass looked even better and her flat belly was a sight to behold. I yearned to bounce homemade snow flakes off that stomach! Was that wrong? The novel costume designs, the kool guns, the welcomed return of “Gun-Kata” (See Equilibrium), the gnarly colorful visuals and the randomly groovy action/fight bits (motorcycle chase...) did occasionally distract me from the fact that I was watching a moving and breathing turd. But that wouldn’t last long enough to save the game. All in all Ultraviolet should’ve been a no-brainer, hot chick, guns, swords, carnage, Sci-Fi setting…roll credits. Somehow they mucked it up. It made Aeon Flux look like a masterpiece! What a LET DOWN!
GORE
We get some minor blood shed. Nothing to get excited about as the PG -13 nipped all of the potentially gnarly goodies in the bud. Equilibrium this is not.
ACTING
Props to Milla Jovovich (Violet) for being up there on my “hot list”, for impressing me with her fighting skills and for doing so well with so little. She came out of this un-tarnished. Love that girl! Cameron Bright (Six) played a cute kid with no facial expressions…easy enough. Nick Chinlund (Daxus) chewed the scenery and was a hoot while William Fichtner (Garth) let his kool clothes do most of the acting. Not his fault there was no character for him to play with!
T & A
Milla in all kinds of belly showing, buttocks hugging outfits = happy Arrow.
DIRECTING
Kurt Wimmer offered up some fly shots (he loves Milla's ass as much as I do), a truck load of self indulgence (all about that never ending zoom ins sunglasses bit) while displaying obvious ambition when it came to the action scenes. Too bad that the flick felt compromised throughout.
SOUNDTRACK
We get an engaging techno-ish score and a more standard orchestral offering. Both were better than the film itself.
BOTTOM LINE
My name is Arrow and I just saw a film that I just don’t understand. Ultraviolet was an utter mess, plain and simple! It takes more than a tacked on "comic book" opening credit reel to fool me in forgiving this flick for its muck ups. Nice try though! Throughout my sit down, I could hear the spirit of the Studio behind the film yelling: “F*ck this shit, we spent enough dough on this, lets edit what we have and hope for a strong opening weekend!” Half assed on every level, not even Milla Jovovich’s hot bod, the slick costumes or the random semi novel action bits could've saved this one from botched-job overload. Wimmer proved himself with Equilibrium, and Ultraviolet should’ve been its female driven counterpart! It was a sure bet! What the F*ck happened!!! The DVD has a lot of explaining and apologizing to do!
BULL'S EYE
Kurt Wimmer wrote the screenplay with Milla Jovovich in mind as Violet.

The flick was initially set to be released in the summer of 2005.

The Director's cut was 2 hours. Studio took over, now its 85 minutes.

The film was shot in China for about 30 Million clams.

VISIT THE OFFICIAL ULTRAVIOLET WEBSITE HERE

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4:17AM on 01/21/2009
Quite simply one of the worst movies I've seen, nothing here works. The action scenes are unexciting, the plotting is terrible, the visual style is ugly, and the acting, from Jovovich to the always expressionless Cameron Bright to Chinlund, is atrocious.
Quite simply one of the worst movies I've seen, nothing here works. The action scenes are unexciting, the plotting is terrible, the visual style is ugly, and the acting, from Jovovich to the always expressionless Cameron Bright to Chinlund, is atrocious.
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6:47PM on 03/27/2006

What a waste

Can I have my $8.25 back please? This could have been a cool movie. Just when you think its going to get decent WHAM! It gets crappy again. What the hell kind of a vampire flick is this? There was no blood drinking and barely any blood shedding!

Milla's hot. There's no question there and as much as I liked seeing her in all her tight clothing running around this movie still blew.

Why Milla really jumped on this project I'll never know. I still love you!
Can I have my $8.25 back please? This could have been a cool movie. Just when you think its going to get decent WHAM! It gets crappy again. What the hell kind of a vampire flick is this? There was no blood drinking and barely any blood shedding!

Milla's hot. There's no question there and as much as I liked seeing her in all her tight clothing running around this movie still blew.

Why Milla really jumped on this project I'll never know. I still love you!
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8:09PM on 03/10/2006
You used "funner" in a sentence, HyperToniC. Sorry, just always seems to make me chuckle. Anyhoo, I HATED this movie. It sucked IMO. I am a HUGE fan of Equilibrium and hoped for an equally kick ass time with this one but just couldn't get into it. It lost me at about the time she jumped her bike through the helicopter and killed everyone inside. Not even The Matrix would have done something THAT stupid.
You used "funner" in a sentence, HyperToniC. Sorry, just always seems to make me chuckle. Anyhoo, I HATED this movie. It sucked IMO. I am a HUGE fan of Equilibrium and hoped for an equally kick ass time with this one but just couldn't get into it. It lost me at about the time she jumped her bike through the helicopter and killed everyone inside. Not even The Matrix would have done something THAT stupid.
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7:24PM on 03/10/2006
Well, I clearly am not in the same viewing as you. I on the other hand thought the movie was highly entertaining, loaded with action, and DECENT acting/dialogue. I had no problem with the CGI effects, as I thought they were meant for the movies style. It all gave a comic type look that I think they were aiming for with the opening credits. I dug it and I'm not one for shabby CGI myself. The story was the weakest part of the movie, though the fight scenes and chase made up for it in a big way
Well, I clearly am not in the same viewing as you. I on the other hand thought the movie was highly entertaining, loaded with action, and DECENT acting/dialogue. I had no problem with the CGI effects, as I thought they were meant for the movies style. It all gave a comic type look that I think they were aiming for with the opening credits. I dug it and I'm not one for shabby CGI myself. The story was the weakest part of the movie, though the fight scenes and chase made up for it in a big way because I was able to take in the weak story just to get to the next scene which involved mucho butt whooping via Violet. This has been one of the better ;) movies I've seen of late. What does that tell you?
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