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Wrong Turn 2 (2007)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Joe Lynch

Starring:
Erica Leerhsen/Nina
Henry Rollins/Dale Murphy
Texas Battle/Jake
Daniella Alonso/Amber
PLOT-CRUNCH
Why would a group of cannibalistic inbred hit a McDs drive through when the chow keeps being delivered to them on their turf? Exactly! On this week’s menu: a group of young Reality TV show contestants and Henry f*cking Rollins in military garb. The latter will definitely give those inbred f*cks some heartburn. He be hard to swallow! When in doubt…ROLLINS!
THE LOWDOWN

 We shouldn't be here. - Nina

 

The original WRONG TURN is the definition of a Cult Classic. The film was dumped by its Studio upon its theatrical release and the MPAA didn’t help matters by wielding the axe hard on its TV Spots and Trailers – hurting its promo in the process. Since then (2003 that is) the flick found its audience on DVD and is considered by many (this dink included) to be a groovy little genre gem.

 

Which brings me to the STD sequel WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END that’s being unleashed upon us on October 9, 2007. Color me red and call me a slab of dead pork; what a surprise! What could’ve easily been another heartless cash-in, shelf polluter wound up being a solid sequel that knew which buttons to push to satisfy. It was as good if not a tad more amusing than the original. Who knew! As cooked up by Chef Joe Lynch and screenwriter Turi Meyer, this bowl of grisly and chunky “how to make a good STD sequel” chili went a little bit like this:

 

INGREDIENTS:

 

2 tablespoons of extreme, creative and outlandish gore gags that kept slapping a smug smile on my smug mug.
2 cups of tongue in cheek humor that made the whole go down smoother than hooker ass.

1 teaspoon of badass Henry Rollins going Rambo on them damn inbreds as he freaking should; kicking ass, taking names and owning all.
1 tablespoon of stylish visuals that supported the already swift pace of the picture and that made sure to keep my eyes riveted to the screen.
1/4 cup of tits and butt shots via yummyliscious Crystal Lowe. My pants thank her.

1/2 cup of dead-on one liners and witty dialogue.

1/4 cup of slyly expanding on the inbred clan from the original; giving them more screen time and more interaction between them; hence more personality.
2 tablespoons of disposable “victims” that I couldn’t always predict as to when they’d check out. That jive added to the oomph of the body count.

2 cups of taking a “Reality TV Show” angle and actually managing to make it enjoyable and fresh as opposed to played out and lame. Lets face it the “Reality TV Show” device in films usually sucks Giraffe balls.

1 pinch of cheeky horror movie references that will warm any horror fan's dead beat, black as stone heart. TCM, The Blair Witch Project, Dreamcatcher… and more!

 

INSTRUCTIONS:

 

Stir all that within a human skull with the top lopped off i.e. cannibal made bowl. Then throw the mix hard against a wall; watch it stream down till it hits the floor and yup; you've got a hefty serving of Wrong turn 2; a STD sequel with heart, balls and a sick sense of humor that kept rubbing me the right way (wait till you what the vegan dame has to go through… he he he).

 

Granted the film was far from original story wise; clichés within the “inbred” subgenre were plenty. Furthermore the eye popping action/stalk set pieces that I so relished in the first one were mostly absent here; lower budget = more down and dirty approach, for better and for worse. Finally some of the lead characters were annoying as hell (Jonesy anyone?) but at least it made the cheers I yelped out when they bought the farm count two fold. All in all; Wrong Turn 2 was what it was and proud of it. A fun, hilarious, blood-spattered and shamelessly exploitive ride that aimed to divert and succeeded it at it in spades. Bring on Wrong Turn 3 (and Joe Lynch at the helm)! I’m there with a necklace made of ears on!
GORE
Yup it’s one them of cases of “I don’t want to spoil the gags for ya, because they’re half of the fun”. All you need to know is that the film goes all out with graphic, gooey and inventive kills.
ACTING
Erica Leerhsen (Nina) did a fine job as the cold bitch that segues into Ellen Ripley territory. She was easy on the eyes too! Henry Rollins (Dale Murphy) stole the show as the ex military dude that goes buck wild when push comes to shove. He was also so damn credible as a high octane Reality TV Show host as well. His bits had me in stitches! Texas Battle (Jake) fit the bill as the morally challenged jock. Daniella Alonso (Amber) was credible as the butch-ish, no bull lesbo; kicking butt like a PMS-er gone wrong!
T & A
Crystal Lowe shows us her oh so squeezable ta-tas and her G-Stringed decorated butt. No complaints from me! The ladies get Henry Rollins being the great f*cking man that he is.
DIRECTING
Joe Lynch’s visual style echoed the heart of the film; axed on fun, energy, a clip pace and humor. Fairly kinetic and rolling out fast and smooth; the lad delivered a horror party movie that well…DELIVERED!
SOUNDTRACK
We get some tacky 80’s ditty that worked wonders for the scene in question and the somber; low key score did the trick like a trick earning that dime by giving out tricks.
BOTTOM LINE
Paycheck filmmakers take note! This is how you make a rocking STD sequel to a theatrical release! True to itself, unapologetic, smutty, gruesome and amusing; Wrong Turn 2 was a hoot and half! It was 4AM when I watched it; I was dead tired and fairly plastered but yet, I stayed awake for the whole thing; too busy having a blast to go count dead sheep. Sure, narrative wise; we’ve been there and done that and some of the characters irritated the heck out of me; but the film wore its “f*ck you”, lets get down” badge so proudly that its flaws hardly affected me. Tight!
BULL'S EYE
Look out for Freddy VS Jason's tall man Ken Kirzinger (Jason Voorhees) as Pa in this flick.

American Idol sexpot Kimberly Caldwell plays herself in the film and she's got a great ass.

Director Joe Lynch played Clothespin Boy in Terror Firmer.

VISIT THE WT2 MYSPACE HERE

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4:03AM on 10/16/2007

Fun as hell

Just finished watching this movie and all I can say is that this was a helluva lot more entertaining than a lot of theatrical released horror films. Kudos to Mr. Lynch.
Just finished watching this movie and all I can say is that this was a helluva lot more entertaining than a lot of theatrical released horror films. Kudos to Mr. Lynch.
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8:36PM on 10/15/2007
Yeah... Henry Rollings is definitely the reason to watch this.
Yeah... Henry Rollings is definitely the reason to watch this.
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