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Horror Movie Hotties: Jason X (2001)

For horror nuts, Friday the 13th is a more fundamental occurance than most holidays, and with good reason. Everyone knows if you don't at least give a wink to Jason Voorhees in some way or another by the night's end, you'll wake up with a machete in your rib cage. In other words, I guess you won't be waking up at all. (You get the bloody picture.) Luckily, you...
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01.13.2017
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Horror Movie Hotties: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Beautiful nurses in movies have been known to heal in a variety of ways. In the horror universe, however, even the sexiest caregivers are often a pronounced sign of dread and terror. Aside from NURSE 3-D and AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, a great example might be  Stacey Alden 's naughty nurse in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS. Many consider this...
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11.11.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

We still have a year or so left before we find out if the Tales from the Crypt revamp series is going to be any good. In the meantime, it doesn't hurt to go back and rediscover the original series, and remind yourself how... okay it was as a whole. Let's face it, while some of the Crypt Keeper's stories were certifiably great, not every one of them was a...
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10.20.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Chain Letter (2010)

I'm too broke to be superstitious, but even if I were, my paranoia would never be wasted those ridiculous chain letter emails. You know, the ones that threaten something terrible will happen to you or your family members, unless you forward the message to 10 other people? It's probably one of the top 20 worst things to ever come out of the internet, and sure enough,...
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10.06.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams (2010)

2001 MANIACS may very well be one of the more lackluster attempts at a cheesy horror gem of the 21st century. That said, the fact that it was granted a sequel should give you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. It means that somewhere out there, someone is willing to finance a film that might blow the lid off its budget with naked women and corn syrup. While 2001 MANIACS: FIELD OF SCREAMS...
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08.25.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Animals (2008)

These days it's rare to stumble upon a so-called "monster movie" that doesn't find a way to conjoin sharks with natural disasters. We just can't seem to get the genre right anymore, and most attempts wind up going directly to cable or DVD. That was evidentally the case with 2008's ANIMALS, despite having an extensive cast of familiar faces you...
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08.18.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

There's no telling just yet whether or not THE SHALLOWS should be classified as a straight-up "monster flick" or a suspenseful survivor story with horror elements. One thing is for sure, though: a big, scary shark is involved.  That's enough info to catch the attention of those of us who hate the ocean with a passion. However, there's obviously been an...
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06.22.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Fear City (1984)

Some may rather classify 1984's FEAR CITY as an "action thriller" rather than a horror film, but it's about a murderer who preys on strippers, thus making it a swell candidate for this column. The movie is led by Tom Berenger, Billy Dee Williams, Jack Scalia and a barrell of other familiar names you can't put faces to. It follows two highly...
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06.08.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: The Black Waters of Echo's Pond (2010)

When it comes to the recent era of "scream queens", Danielle Harris is a name that gets thrown around a lot, and with good reason. Aside from taking part in the original HALLOWEEN film series, as well as the Rob Zombie reboots, she's appeared in more spooky tales than you can shake a bloody hatchet at. Unfortunately, many of them get lots in the growing sea of campy...
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05.18.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Friday the 13th (2009)

We can't very well let Freaky Friday slip by without tipping our hockey masks to Jason Voorhees, now can we? Trust me, you wouldn't want to make that guy angry. The machete slinging mama's boy had a good long run up until the almost universally hated FRIDAY THE 13TH reboot in 2009. For as much flack as that film gets, however, it actually manages to shoehorn in a couple good...
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05.14.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Kill Theory (2009)

I'm not going to insult you by pretending I've seen KILL THEORY in its entirety, for I have not. Without a single review to go by on Rotten Tomatoes, this is one slasher flick that may as well just be slashed out of existence. At least it would've been, had it not been for the inclusion of the owners of such pretty faces as Steffi Wickens , Agnes Bruckner and...
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05.12.2016
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Horror Movie Hotties: Club Dread (2004)

Some of the better horror movies will throw in moments of comic relief to break the tension of whatever bloody disaster is going on. In other cases, the terror is left in the shadow comedy's shadow, and only comes out when things have gone too zany. This may be how the "horror spoof" genre may be described by some, but the Broken Lizard gang's CLUB DREAD...
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05.05.2016
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