The Ten Spot 2/2

Top 10 Unintentionally Gay Moments
All these Brokeback Mountain parodies you see all over the web are hilarious. It seems even the most testosterone filled, ass-kicking, "guy movies" can be turned into a homosexual love-fest with a little editing and a touch of soft music. Some films, however, don't need any help. Long before Jake and Heath made angry man-love the cool thing to do, some of Hollywood's biggest stars were flirting with the idea of switch hitting. Thanks goes out to Scottie for lending his favourite gay moment to the list (#6) and the always inspiring Bill Simmons over at Sports Guy's World for his thoughts on #7, which eventually led to the idea for this column.
BEWARE SPOILERS!
5. Ice Dancing - SLAP SHOT (1977)

"You can't catch me."
One of the most quotable films ever made goes out of it's way to end on a very strange and awkward note. Ned (Michael Ontkean) decides he's through fighting and breaks into a impromptu strip tease at center ice. His antics prove heroic though as the sight of his soiled jock-strap drives the opposing team insane and they eventually get disqualified for punching the referee in the back of the head.
4. Closet Poster - THE LOST BOYS (1987)

"Just don't tell Feldman."
I've talked about this numerous times before and I still don't understand. I can look past the ridiculous shirt and singing in the bubble bath, but why in the hell does Sam (Corey Haim) have that sexy poster of Rob Lowe on his closet door? Some things are scarier than vampires. Thanks to I-Mockery.com for the awesome picture. They feel my pain.
3. 2 0n 2 - TOP GUN (1986)

"Fucking paparazzi!"
The beach volleyball scene in this movie is as gay as it it fake. The five-foot-fuck-all Tom Cruise, oiled from the waist up and spiking the ball while wearing jeans almost makes you forget about Anthony Edwards' moustache. Almost. Unbelievably, things get worse from there.

"That, did not just happen."
2. Getting Stronger - ROCKY III (1982)

"I'm getting all wet."
Wow. I could not stop laughing as I was watching this scene again, years after it pumped my blood in anticipation for the rematch with Clubber Lang (Mr. T). The intense close-up shots on their rippling thigh muscles, Rocky's black half-shirt with matching cloth head band in the gym, those fabulous short shorts. It all adds up to the gayest montage in the history of gay montages.
1. The Fellowship - THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY (2001-2003)

"He's not wearing a ring anymore."
The incredible lengths Peter Jackson goes to show the bond between this group of beings gets out of control more often than you think. Hours of forbidden undertones are capped off by the spectacular reunion at the end of RETURN OF THE KING. Merry and Pippen join Frodo for a romp in the sack, Sam stares long and hard into the eyes of his companion and Gandalph.... well, I'm not even going to go there.

"Stay down bitch!"
Source: JoBlo






































































































3:15AM on 05/13/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1:36AM on 05/11/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
8:59PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Besides the unin...
Besides the unintentionally gay aspect of it though, it seriously made me go WTF when I saw it...it just felt so...out of place. I still think that scene should've been deleted from the final cut.
I don't think anyone is saying the fellowship and their friendship etc was ohsogay, etc cause I think the bond between the nine was quite moving actually and the ending of Return of the King is very very powerful imo - but that scene STILL makes me cringe everytime I see it.
4:32PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
[link]20lord%20of%20the%20rings
[link]20lord%20of%20the%20rings
3:31PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
2:15PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
plus he is one scary mofo. i think, that just on morals alone, he should have been left out.
ugh..tom cruise=me vomiting.
plus he is one scary mofo. i think, that just on morals alone, he should have been left out.
ugh..tom cruise=me vomiting.
1:20PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
I love Lord of the Rings, but c'mon... that's hilarious.
I love Lord of the Rings, but c'mon... that's hilarious.
12:41PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
12:15PM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
and for all you uptight ppl, i have nothing against gays, one of my best friends is. but really, that scene could not be taken seriously at all, moreover serve to be scary.
11:20AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
If you actually give a crap about someone these days that is of the same sex then "you are tottally gay". Bullshit!
If you actually give a crap about someone these days that is of the same sex then "you are tottally gay". Bullshit!
11:08AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
10:38AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
'stay down bitch!'
the picture and the caption is perfect combo
'stay down bitch!'
the picture and the caption is perfect combo
9:47AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
People can laugh and scream out "THAT'S SO GAY!" all they want at the Fellowship, but I will never understand why they do so. For the love of Virgin Mary, it's pure fantasy! It's set in a completely different world, where everything and everyone is diffe...
People can laugh and scream out "THAT'S SO GAY!" all they want at the Fellowship, but I will never understand why they do so. For the love of Virgin Mary, it's pure fantasy! It's set in a completely different world, where everything and everyone is different. I never laughed or mocked the Fellowship because of their unbreakable bond, respect, loyalty, and love for each other. Is there a problem wit that? I don't think so.
Peter Jackson did an absolutely brilliant job at making the viewer not only care for each and every member of the Fellowship, but believe that they were the definition of the word "Fellowship."
You want an unintentionally gay cinematic moment? Check out #7 on this overall decent list, which could have been a solid one, if not for the ludicrous inclusion of "The Lord of the Rings."
Strider
9:31AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Good call on Rocky 3! I love Sly and the film but that scene always made me chuckle. Not because it came accross as "gay" (to me they were good frien...
Good call on Rocky 3! I love Sly and the film but that scene always made me chuckle. Not because it came accross as "gay" (to me they were good friends who love each other) but because it was sooo tacky.
Good work Mr. Law!
9:16AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
8:53AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
7:42AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
It totally gayed up the movie...
It totally gayed up the movie...
6:48AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
4:57AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Pig.
Pig.
4:38AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1:39AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile
I demand a recount.
I demand a recount.
1:07AM on 05/10/2006 Add as a friend | MFC profile