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The Ten Spot 2/2 Sep. 20, 2006
Comments: 4
100%
\"\"

The 10 Ugliest Characters

Let's just get this out if the way early, that picture above is of a real dog. His name is Sam and before he passed away last year he was voted the World's Ugliest Dog for three consecutive years. Rest in peace you little spawn of Satan. Now, this list is wide open for controversy, partly because everyone's opinion on what's ugly is different and partly because a couple of these picks are based on real dudes. I'm just judging the characters here people, the men and women in the make-up. They were made to look this way for an effect and it's my job to make fun of them. Let the pageant commence.

Click here for 10-6

5. Rocky Dennis - MASK (1985)

Here's where I tread lightly. The real Roy L. "Rocky" Dennis was afflicted with craniodiaphyseal dysplasia, an extremely rare bone disorder. He died at the age of 16 in 1980. Eric Stoltz piles on the make-up in order to play Rocky on screen and ..... well, let's just say it ain't pretty. His mother, Rusty (Cher), fights to get his giant head into a normal junior high school and both end up with Golden Globe nominations for their efforts.

4. Melvin Ferd - THE TOXIC AVENGER (1985)

This what happens to you when you jump into a drum of toxic waste wearing wearing a pink tutu shortly after getting caught making out with a sheep. So, you know, don't do that. Melvin (Mark Torgl) wastes no time in making his new appearance into a positive by becoming Toxie (Mitch Cohen), the crime fighting, radioactive, mop wielding super hero.

3. Belial Bradley - BASKET CASE (1982)

I love this little dude. Belial is the Siamese twin of Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck). The doctors that separated the two severely f*cked things up and left him as a fleshy pile of cartilage and razor sharp teeth. Linked telepathically with his brother, B tends to get jealous when Duane starts getting some action via the local hottie so he hops around town and destroys anyone that gets in his way. Yes, I own this movie.

2. John Merrick - THE ELEPHANT MAN (1980)

Dr. Treves (Anthony Hopkins) finds John (John Hurt) at a freak show and decides to have him over for tea. There's more to the story but I couldn't stop looking at that forehead so I missed a bunch. Merrick suffered from Proteus syndrome but, for some strange reason, people always link him to elephantiasis. Weird.

1. Lotney Fratelli - THE GOONIES (1985)

The ugliest of the bunch is also the most loved. Sloth (John Matuszak) goes form scaring the shit out of audiences in that back room to saving the day in the end, all while looking like he was on the short end of a fight with an avalanche. The twitching ear, the laziest eye known to man, the strategically placed teeth, it all makes it easier to proclaim "JoBlo.com love Sloth" and you should too.

PREVIOUSLY:

The 12 Coolest Movie Vampires
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The Ten Spot... archives here

Latest Comments

4 Discussions (Expand All) | Show: Oldest First | Newest First | Most Popular

+0
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Ouch, very ouch.
EvilHenchman
12:24AM on 09/21/2006
Is it just me or does this list favor genetic disfigurement over flat-out, bat-shit, run-the-other-way ugliness? I mean, poor Rocky Dennis (groan...). How about Riff Raff from Rocky Horror instead? Or Captain Spaul...
Is it just me or does this list favor genetic disfigurement over flat-out, bat-shit, run-the-other-way ugliness? I mean, poor Rocky Dennis (groan...). How about Riff Raff from Rocky Horror instead? Or Captain Spaulding from The Devil's Rejects or that grotesquely obese vampire from Blade?

But otherwise, bravo for composing a list that will make some of us feel a little better when we look in the mirror tomorrow morning...
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+0
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Missing someone
echo_bravo
7:09PM on 09/20/2006
You left out Courtney Love from People vs. Larry Flint.
You left out Courtney Love from People vs. Larry Flint.
+0
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Nice list, but what about "Freaks"
drexxell
7:02AM on 09/20/2006
Speaking of treading lightly, Freaks had some pretty fuggly real folks. Though the top vote woulda been the faked-up chicken lady at the end. Anyway, thanks for turning my stomach so early in the day :)
Speaking of treading lightly, Freaks had some pretty fuggly real folks. Though the top vote woulda been the faked-up chicken lady at the end. Anyway, thanks for turning my stomach so early in the day :)
+0
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:D
h
2:36AM on 09/20/2006
HEY YOU [link]!!!! Result for the Slothman :)
HEY YOU [link]!!!! Result for the Slothman :)









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