C'mon Hollywood #126

... let these franchises die…part 2!
by Sturdy
Here’s the rest of the list. And here’s hoping Hollywood will let some of these franchises go and maybe make something without a number behind it.
Rush Hour: If I was a Hollywood producer, I wouldn’t pay Chris Tucker $20 to wash my car, much less $20 million to star in my movie. Yet, for some reason Chris Tucker makes one movie every five years or so and now he’s filthy rich. And don’t get me started on Jackie Chan. I don’t care how gutsy he is, the dude annoys me. So the moral of the story is that the RUSH HOUR franchise should have ended before the first one ever got started.

Just because he’s loud, it doesn’t mean he’s funny
Saw/Hostel/Hills Have Eyes, etc.: I’ve already ranted about Hollywood’s current fascination with torture and now it’s time we stop it. The first installment of SAW was original, freaky, scary, etc., but with flicks like HOSTEL and HILLS HAVE EYES, I’m absolutely sick of watching people getting tortured. So unless they make another one and cast my high school biology teacher, my old boss, Teri Hatcher and K-Fed, and actually torture them, I’m not going to watch another one.
Scary Movie: This is one of those franchises that makes me scratch my head. I just don’t get it. I can’t understand how a series of films with second grade education humor could actually be successful enough to merit sequels. I hated the first one and every sequel got a little worse. The good news is that the adorable Ana Farris is…well…adorable. Yep, that’s about the only nice thing I can say about these movies.
Cute as a button!
Scream: Granted, the first one made teen horror films trendy before torture horror films became trendy, but now they’ve been done so many times, doing another SCREAM would be a rehash of every horror movie we saw in the late nineties. Even if they kill off Neve Campbell, I still don’t think there’s anything left to do.
Shrek: I’ve already heard rumblings of another few movies in the works, but after seeing the third one, it’s safe to say they’re out of jokes. I’m sick of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz getting a butt-load of money to do 30 minutes worth of voice work. The problem with kids movies is that you can make as many sequels as you like and kids will still go see them. Because kids are dumb.
You wouldn't be able to concentrate either
Tomb Raider: I remember being so excited about Angelina Jolie accepting the role of Lara Croft. I don’t know if there has ever been more perfect casting for a video game movie. Unfortunately, the screenwriters probably got distracted with her juicy lips because the scripts and stories for these two films were absolutely horrible. Let’s hope Angelina doesn’t do another one after she takes her year off.
X-Men: The only comic book movie that I don’t want another sequel to is X-MEN. The third film ended so abruptly and decisively that there’s really no need for another one. Also, Halle Barry has bitched about not having a big enough part for too long. Hers was the only character I wanted to die, but ended up being one of the few to survive. However, the main reason I don’t want anymore X-MEN movies is because I want spin-offs. We’ve waited long enough for a Wolverine movie. Hugh’s the man and Wolverine is the most popular of the X-men, so make it already!

Give 'em hell Wolvie!
The list could go on forever, but those are the ones I don’t want to see any more of. So what did I leave out?
Source: JoBlo.com's Cool Columns






































































































4:28PM on 06/11/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Was that just so you lose all credibility you had, or are you just ignorant?
Was that just so you lose all credibility you had, or are you just ignorant?
7:21PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
for those interested it is screening again in Mahattan on 66th and Lincoln at...
for those interested it is screening again in Mahattan on 66th and Lincoln at 6:30 tomorrow. look it up. My free passes will be in the garbage. Once was enough.
you're entitled to your opinion. so am I.
"every movie are made of hardwork (except boll's movie and other crap like this)" - I know you're only Canadian but pick your arguement. Sounds like you're agreeing with me here.
Keep the hate coming. I wasnt even coming back to this blog. But now I'm enjoying myself.
-Hung Low The Hater
7:02PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Where's that [link] mouth icon?
Where's that [link] mouth icon?
5:54PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
4:24PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
3:06PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
shut up dude and let us make our own opinion about something and don't try to think for us, we are all intelligent and living things. You know what? your not alone !!!!
...
shut up dude and let us make our own opinion about something and don't try to think for us, we are all intelligent and living things. You know what? your not alone !!!!
every movie are made of hardwork (except boll's movie and other crap like this) and we have to give a chance to every movie out there.. you speak about transformers, have you realy seen this movie !? Bay's got the better pre-view note that he ever get and this note come from who ? a bunch of ordinary viewer!
*sorry for my english, french canadian here..
2:35PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
also, a message to hun...wow, you've just described every transformers ad without touching on the movie itself! Awesome! Also, posting the EXACT SAME MESSAGE three times only makes people more likely to hate you.
and penguins are cute. I don't care who you are.
[link]
I usually ...
also, a message to hun...wow, you've just described every transformers ad without touching on the movie itself! Awesome! Also, posting the EXACT SAME MESSAGE three times only makes people more likely to hate you.
and penguins are cute. I don't care who you are.
[link]
I usually don't debate 14 year olds so here are some explanations for you - - the reason the description of the movie sounds like the ads is because thats all the movie is. I have seen the movie, in its' entirety. Have you? this movie is as hollow as your head. The 80's animated feature had more depth than this.
I don't know why it posted so much. That annoys me too. sorry.
March of the penguins, happy feet, surfs up... and on and on. guess you don't bore easy. Do you also own puppets?
2:22PM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
And to Tonydannie and AwesomeZara, an "autuer" is a filmmaker who writes, directs and puts their own personal stamp on a film. Eli Roth and Rob Zombie are exactly this. You're telling me you can't see their passion in every frame? That is why they have legions of fans, outside of yourselves, and true hacks like Michael bay and ratner are hated on. That is why they can make a movie for 1.5 million and it grosses 21 million (like Cabin fever). That is why they can use no name actors - - THE FILM IS THE STAR. And there is a difference between recycling and homage. Do you NOT want people trying to update what was great in the past? Darwin calls this evolution - as long as it's an improvement. Either do your homework or stick to aniston movies.
only my opinion. feel free to hate.
10:45AM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
12:42AM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
12:27AM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
That was written 3 years ago... by Indiana Sev... not Sturdy.
Not all JoBlo.com writers share the exact same opinions.
That was written 3 years ago... by Indiana Sev... not Sturdy.
Not all JoBlo.com writers share the exact same opinions.
12:09AM on 06/10/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
loladasdas
loladasdas
11:01PM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
8:26PM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
However... Roth is a hack. His stuff is masturbatory crap where he's trying to reproduce the fun of what was done in the '70's and is decimating it in the process.
The worst upcoming problem isn't fretting over a HOSTEL 3 (because getting top notch entertainers like Bijou Philips for number 2 is like.. genius, yo!) is the f...
However... Roth is a hack. His stuff is masturbatory crap where he's trying to reproduce the fun of what was done in the '70's and is decimating it in the process.
The worst upcoming problem isn't fretting over a HOSTEL 3 (because getting top notch entertainers like Bijou Philips for number 2 is like.. genius, yo!) is the fact that he's going to destroy the movie adaption of Stephen King's CELL.
I absolutely love Quentin, but I want to dick slap him with an infested knob for supporting this guy.
7:34PM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
4:39PM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1:00PM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
12:36PM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
with you on the scary movies. They stopped being good and funny after number three, although number two definitely had hints that the funniness was fading.
before X3, i would have disagreed with you, but considering how badthat was, eliminate. Apart from which, if you're g...
with you on the scary movies. They stopped being good and funny after number three, although number two definitely had hints that the funniness was fading.
before X3, i would have disagreed with you, but considering how badthat was, eliminate. Apart from which, if you're gonna show the cure wearing off, then do it right and show Mystique by having Charlie sit across from Mags and say "Hello, Eric," just before his eyes flash Mystique-eye-yellow.
tomb raider should never even have been MADE, much less continued. BLARGH! At the very least, they should have taken more time and gotten a better script.
Shrek is a good franchise, but let's mstop it where it is, lest it turn into something like Three Men and a baby.
Chris Tucker is funny, but the repeated pairing with Chan needs to stop, and speaking of Jackie, his movies, while once funny, are starting to grow stale. Move on, I say.
also, a message to hun...wow, you've just described every transformers ad without touching on the movie itself! Awesome! Also, posting the EXACT SAME MESSAGE three times only makes people more likely to hate you.
and penguins are cute. I don't care who you are.
11:41AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
If rush hour flopped there would be no sequels. the first one made well over 100 million and people thought it was funny as well as the 2nd one. I guess youve never seen friday or money talks.
chris tucker makes people laugh and your just to uptight. And you hated scary movie 1??? wow you have a Huge chip on your shoulder dude,the 1st was funny to many people and it was the ...
If rush hour flopped there would be no sequels. the first one made well over 100 million and people thought it was funny as well as the 2nd one. I guess youve never seen friday or money talks.
chris tucker makes people laugh and your just to uptight. And you hated scary movie 1??? wow you have a Huge chip on your shoulder dude,the 1st was funny to many people and it was the best one in the series also the most successful. Yes XMEN 3 did suck ass i wanna kill Brett ratner as much as he next guy but leave halle berry alone.you only wanted her to die?? dont be a d*ck, what did she do wrong in xmen 2?? I guess you must think shes ugly and not hot enough to be on the big screen.
9:59AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
9:55AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1.Romantic Comedies - get a new formula, Hollywood. We know all about the "meet cute" and "hate each other at first but keep getting thrown together". This is the hackiest, least fresh genre of them all!
2. Video Game movies - sorry, guys, both Tomb Raiders were unwatchable garbage. Just like the rest of them. this is a nerds...
1.Romantic Comedies - get a new formula, Hollywood. We know all about the "meet cute" and "hate each other at first but keep getting thrown together". This is the hackiest, least fresh genre of them all!
2. Video Game movies - sorry, guys, both Tomb Raiders were unwatchable garbage. Just like the rest of them. this is a nerds only zone. some of us will take story over boobs and corny explosions.
3. New Horror/slasher - unless you are a brilliant autuer like Rob Zombie or Eli Roth just DON'T DO IT. It takes skill to scare and shock and 99% of the guys doing it don't have the skills.
4. Owen Wilson movies - yes this is a genre. and this guy only has one character. Unless you are already sold on his act - stay away.
5. Remakes - there's a shitload of good ideas. I hear about them all the time. So why are we re-doing old films and even worse - modern asian films that don't translate well?
6. 'Hood' movies - John Singelton I'm talking to you! Hustle and Flow was a good one, but baby boy, four brothers make me wish you would just stick to producing. IF YOUR FILM STARS A RAPPER OR TYRESE THEN YOU DIDNT TRY HARD ENOUGH!
7. Comic Book Movies - okay, so I am looking forward to Watchmen, but does every single retard that appeared in a comic need his won movie? No! And why do it if you aren't going to take it seriously? I'm looking right at you fantastic four, ghost rider, punisher and yes, spiderman.
8. The Pixar movies - I can't keep track anymore. I guess you just outgrow them.
9. movies based on 80's cartoons - Transformers sucked (yes, i saw it). It had cool robots but you really have to unscrew your brain to get past the lack of story, Shia the she-man, and Tyrese yelling "Bring it" every few moments. Now they are doing He-man (no role for Shia there), Smurf, Gi Joe and Thundercats. This would be fine if they did it right. which they won't. The fans of these shows are in their 20's and 30's now - - make the movies for them! Not the little twats that werent even born when this shit was popular.
10- NO MORE PENGUINS. Period.
9:38AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
7:01AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1.Romantic Comedies - get a new formula, Hollywood. We know all about the "meet cute" and "hate each other at first but keep getting thrown together". This is the hackiest, least fresh genre of them all!
2. Video Game movies - sorry, guys, both Tomb Raiders were unwatchable garbage. Just like the rest of them. this is a nerds...
1.Romantic Comedies - get a new formula, Hollywood. We know all about the "meet cute" and "hate each other at first but keep getting thrown together". This is the hackiest, least fresh genre of them all!
2. Video Game movies - sorry, guys, both Tomb Raiders were unwatchable garbage. Just like the rest of them. this is a nerds only zone. some of us will take story over boobs and corny explosions.
3. New Horror/slasher - unless you are a brilliant autuer like Rob Zombie or Eli Roth just DON'T DO IT. It takes skill to scare and shock and 99% of the guys doing it don't have the skills.
4. Owen Wilson movies - yes this is a genre. and this guy only has one character. Unless you are already sold on his act - stay away.
5. Remakes - there's a shitload of good ideas. I hear about them all the time. So why are we re-doing old films and even worse - modern asian films that don't translate well?
6. 'Hood' movies - John Singelton I'm talking to you! Hustle and Flow was a good one, but baby boy, four brothers make me wish you would just stick to producing. IF YOUR FILM STARS A RAPPER OR TYRESE THEN YOU DIDNT TRY HARD ENOUGH!
7. Comic Book Movies - okay, so I am looking forward to Watchmen, but does every single retard that appeared in a comic need his won movie? No! And why do it if you aren't going to take it seriously? I'm looking right at you fantastic four, ghost rider, punisher and yes, spiderman.
8. The Pixar movies - I can't keep track anymore. I guess you just outgrow them.
9. movies based on 80's cartoons - Transformers sucked (yes, i saw it). It had cool robots but you really have to unscrew your brain to get past the lack of story, Shia the she-man, and Tyrese yelling "Bring it" every few moments. Now they are doing He-man (no role for Shia there), Smurf, Gi Joe and Thundercats. This would be fine if they did it right. which they won't. The fans of these shows are in their 20's and 30's now - - make the movies for them! Not the little twats that werent even born when this shit was popular.
10- NO MORE PENGUINS. Period.
4:34AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Out of all the franchise movies the X-Men movies are what i looked forward to the most, so the 3rd was a major(but not an oh so surprising) let down.
Another franchise I loathe is, The Fast and the Furious(I know they'll make another)
Out of all the franchise movies the X-Men movies are what i looked forward to the most, so the 3rd was a major(but not an oh so surprising) let down.
Another franchise I loathe is, The Fast and the Furious(I know they'll make another)
3:07AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1:46AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
And the ending was a total cop out. I hated it! First of all, if you are going to create a movie that is meant to be final (by killing characters and infecting them with the cure, even calling it "The Last Stand"), why do you have to leave the door open to another movie? It shows a lack of commitment on the filmmakers part. "Magneto was 'cured' but lets make a chess piece move so fans can be open to the possibility of the cure wearing off." "Xavier was destroyed but lets let his consciousness live on!" Seriously, such scenes removed any impact of Xaviers death and Wolverines climactic insertion of "the cure" on Magneto. As you can tell, I for one am bothered by this cheap storytelling! (Maybe that's why my response has become so long). So, yeah, I think this strategy does not change the abrupt impression that was left on me after viewing the film, but it certainly caused me to lose respect for those involved in the process. If anything, the reveal of the reemerging powers was abrupt and totally unnecessary! (Okay, I think I'll stop before I lose control).
1:24AM on 06/09/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
and i want a wolvy movie. that would be awesome.
and i want a wolvy movie. that would be awesome.
3:09PM on 06/08/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
8:47AM on 06/08/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
4:35AM on 06/08/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
1:38AM on 06/08/2007 Add as a friend | MFC profile
And is there even talk of another Scream movie? I mean, I know at this point in his career, Wes Craven is pretty desperate, but I've heard no rumblings... Doesn't that mean the franchise is dead?
And is there even talk of another Scream movie? I mean, I know at this point in his career, Wes Craven is pretty desperate, but I've heard no rumblings... Doesn't that mean the franchise is dead?