C'mon Hollywood #180

... Dane Cook is not a movie star!
by Sturdy

Why does Hollywood insist on making certain people into big stars, despite a mostly negative public reaction to those stars? Never has that been more evident than with Dane Cook. He had some decent stand-up, but the guy isn’t funny on film, he has no screen presence and he’s completely incapable of carrying his own movie. Yet he somehow manages to star in big Hollywood productions with major Hollywood actresses. And of course, those movies are ultimate failures at the box office. But Hollywood doesn’t seem to care and the guy still manages to get one big role after another.

Maybe rather than slamming Dane Cook, I should actually write an article praising his agent. Seriously, this guy/gal has got to be the world’s best agent. They’re some kind of super-agent, the likes of which the world has never seen. Most actors that star in a single box-office bomb struggle to get work for years, but Dane Cook has never appeared in anything other than a bomb and he gets as much work as he can handle. How is that possible? Is Hollywood so desperate for a romantic, humorous leading man that they have to slum all the way down to Dane Cook? Whoever this guy’s agent is, I hope they’re getting a huge cut of his salary, because they deserve it.

What are you doing Kate?

Don’t blame him for taking films that have a horrible script. The guy should be grateful to be playing a tree in an off-Broadway play. So if a studio wants to throw millions at him to star in a feature film, of course he’s going to take it. He’d be an idiot not to. Even he knows that this can’t last forever. Eventually, Hollywood producers will catch on that he’s never had a decent hit and that his films are all but guaranteed to lose money. Until then, he’d be dumb to turn down any role. If someone offered him a role in a Mentos commercial, he should take it.

Okay, I don't really like his stand-up either.

Lets forget for a second that Cook manages to get leading roles he has no business auditioning for, I don’t even like him in a supporting role. He was a distraction in DAN IN REAL LIFE and very pedestrian in MR. BROOKS. I don’t know what the guy is like in real life, maybe he’s a great guy, but on film, he’s obnoxious. It oozes out of him on the big screen and that could be one of the many reasons his films continue to fail. Plus, in every role, he always has this “why-am-I-here” look on his face. I don’t know Dane, we’re wondering the same thing.

What are you doing Jessica?

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snoopmish
9:10AM on 11/11/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I know you say.."What are you doing Jessica?" but really think about it.....they have about the same acting talent. Sure Alba's hot but she can't act...at all.

I know you say.."What are you doing Jessica?" but really think about it.....they have about the same acting talent. Sure Alba's hot but she can't act...at all.

 

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justjoe
6:50PM on 10/07/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I guess

the producers mistake him for Ryan Reynolds (until he opens his mouth of course). Happens to me once in a while. :)

the producers mistake him for Ryan Reynolds (until he opens his mouth of course). Happens to me once in a while. :)

 

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Kill Billionair
6:22PM on 10/01/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I haven't seen him in a lot of films. But he was hilarious in My Best Friend's Girl.
These C'mon Hollywoods should be C'mon Hollywooded. As of late they're getting lamer and lamer.

I haven't seen him in a lot of films. But he was hilarious in My Best Friend's Girl.
These C'mon Hollywoods should be C'mon Hollywooded. As of late they're getting lamer and lamer.

 

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filmguy450
1:58PM on 10/01/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Odd

This is a reply to 'moonman272'.
I liked Dane Cook in both Mr. Brooks and Dan in Real Life, where he was actualy acting (imo).

Now, 'moonman272', Good Luck Chuck, while it did make it's money back, was not considered a success. A movie needs to triple it's budget to be considered a real big hit, which none of his STARRING roles have done, and if you think "Waiting" was a h...

This is a reply to 'moonman272'.
I liked Dane Cook in both Mr. Brooks and Dan in Real Life, where he was actualy acting (imo).

Now, 'moonman272', Good Luck Chuck, while it did make it's money back, was not considered a success. A movie needs to triple it's budget to be considered a real big hit, which none of his STARRING roles have done, and if you think "Waiting" was a hit because of his 2 minutes of sreentime, you are wrong.

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moonman272
8:27AM on 10/01/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Ummm Think about it

First off, why do they keep making movies you ask?? If they are all bombs? DO SOME RESEARCH. EVERY one of the movies you mentioned, made atleast 20 million in PROFIT. Dan in real life made 40million in profit. Even "Waiting" turned 3 mil into 16 mill in revenue.

Umm this is a PERSONAL thing, you dont think he is funny, you dont think his stand up is good, this is just a case of ...

First off, why do they keep making movies you ask?? If they are all bombs? DO SOME RESEARCH. EVERY one of the movies you mentioned, made atleast 20 million in PROFIT. Dan in real life made 40million in profit. Even "Waiting" turned 3 mil into 16 mill in revenue.

Umm this is a PERSONAL thing, you dont think he is funny, you dont think his stand up is good, this is just a case of YOU not liking someone, and telling everyone else, the public, the studios, everyone that enjoys him, and the studio execs who hire him and make money, they are dumb for making a profit on a guy YOU dont like, get over it, lots of people like him, he sold out madison square garden for gosh sake...

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Justtopostonce
8:27AM on 10/01/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Why I Can't Stand Dane Cook

Here's my deal with Dane Cook: The only movie featuring Dane Cook that I've seen has been Waiting. I don't watch his standup, I don't see his movies. The little that I've seen of his comedy I haven't enjoyed, but that is in no way related to my dislike of Dane Cook. I don't like or support Dane Cook because he is - on a personal level - a complete bastard. Many years ago a good friend agr...

Here's my deal with Dane Cook: The only movie featuring Dane Cook that I've seen has been Waiting. I don't watch his standup, I don't see his movies. The little that I've seen of his comedy I haven't enjoyed, but that is in no way related to my dislike of Dane Cook. I don't like or support Dane Cook because he is - on a personal level - a complete bastard. Many years ago a good friend agreed to handle post-production for a film entitled "8 Guys," written by and starring some guy named Dane Cook. This was my buddy's first job editing a movie and since then he's done at least two features and several television shows. He's always been the single most professional person I've worked with. The movie cost way more than it let on, was shot on video, was terribly written and none of us could figure out where the money went (I personally think the budget was pocketed). My friend edited this movie, and was instructed to whittle it down until nothing remained of it except for Dane Cook, which only made it worse. What really, really pissed me off, though, was that the total lack of professionalism and constant abuse that he suffered through at the hands of Cook and his producer landed him in therapy. Finally, he gave the material back to Cook, and told him that he couldn't continue on the project. He was NEVER paid for his efforts. The movie was distributed using his edit - which is not only a tacky move but one that will land you in court - and to this day he has never seen a penny for what he went through. You never, EVER treat people like that. And that is why I can't stand Dane Cook.

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reddwarffan
6:02AM on 10/01/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

agree

cant stand the actor, but his stand up is cool. Just because he's funny on stage doesnt mean shit when he's on the screen

cant stand the actor, but his stand up is cool. Just because he's funny on stage doesnt mean shit when he's on the screen

 

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Jaybro7
8:26PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

This has got to be one of the WORST "Come on Hollywood" featurettes I thing I've seen.

You claim "nothing personal" against Dane and yet you write an article, on a VERY well know site completely slamming him. Then you say "This is aimed at Hollywood".

So why on EARTH would you dedicate an entire article on a guy who you DO NOT like? Isn't this just more publicity...

This has got to be one of the WORST "Come on Hollywood" featurettes I thing I've seen.

You claim "nothing personal" against Dane and yet you write an article, on a VERY well know site completely slamming him. Then you say "This is aimed at Hollywood".

So why on EARTH would you dedicate an entire article on a guy who you DO NOT like? Isn't this just more publicity for him?

Dane hasn't done anything wrong. He's enjoying being on the big screen. The man was decent in "Employee of the Month" and his small role is "Waiting" was absolutely hilarious.

His stand up is above average and if no one finds him funny, then how come enough people to fill massive stadiums go see him live?

I miss the original, well written "Come on, Hollywood!" pieces instead of these bash fests.

Jesus, All this Dane slammin is rediculous.

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DeejayForte
3:54PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

come to think of it, his small part in Waiting was enjoyable

come to think of it, his small part in Waiting was enjoyable

 

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track100
2:41PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Preach it, brother.

He's pretty awful and I'd would have like Mr. Brooks a lot more, if he wasn't in it.

He's pretty awful and I'd would have like Mr. Brooks a lot more, if he wasn't in it.

 

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pheadx
2:10PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Apart from his actual roles, isn't it pretty obvious why is he in movies? He does comedy (whether it's successful or not doesn't matter) and he has the looks. Most comedians are ugly. I think that the pictures you posted show some kind of charisma, although I'm not a big fan (liked him in Dan in Real Life, though). I would put him in a movie if I was a casting director.

Apart from his actual roles, isn't it pretty obvious why is he in movies? He does comedy (whether it's successful or not doesn't matter) and he has the looks. Most comedians are ugly. I think that the pictures you posted show some kind of charisma, although I'm not a big fan (liked him in Dan in Real Life, though). I would put him in a movie if I was a casting director.

 

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Do it Doug!!!!
1:42PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

studboi69

personally, i'm hating him because he really sucks. i've never enjoyed his standup. starting to when he impersonated the predator or whatever for 30 minutes to when he started stealing other people's material. never liked him.

personally, i'm hating him because he really sucks. i've never enjoyed his standup. starting to when he impersonated the predator or whatever for 30 minutes to when he started stealing other people's material. never liked him.

 

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cricker
1:40PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Not an actor?

He is not even a comedian. See to be a comedian you cant still most of your routine from Seinfeld and then pretend that the skit is cool. Seinfeld isnt cool but he is kinda funny where Cokk is not at all funny. He is like when you though Tom hanks (back in the day) was a comedian bc he was in so many comedies but found out he isnt at all a comedian just pretending to be one. Like Dane Cook!

He is not even a comedian. See to be a comedian you cant still most of your routine from Seinfeld and then pretend that the skit is cool. Seinfeld isnt cool but he is kinda funny where Cokk is not at all funny. He is like when you though Tom hanks (back in the day) was a comedian bc he was in so many comedies but found out he isnt at all a comedian just pretending to be one. Like Dane Cook!

 

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anomaly7
1:13PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

The only time I liked Cook was in Mr. Brooks and Dan in real life, where he wasn't just a replica of his stand-up persona. But those roles could easily be filled by someone else. Never cared much for his stand-up, but its not horrible. I skipped the show he did at my school a few years back, before he made it big.

There just isn't any correlation between a good stand-up comedi...

The only time I liked Cook was in Mr. Brooks and Dan in real life, where he wasn't just a replica of his stand-up persona. But those roles could easily be filled by someone else. Never cared much for his stand-up, but its not horrible. I skipped the show he did at my school a few years back, before he made it big.

There just isn't any correlation between a good stand-up comedian and a good actor. Chris Rock does amazing stand-up, but I've never seen a great movie from him. And i never cared for Robin Williams stand-up, but he's a great actor. Unfortuantely, hoolywood will continuously shove any "it" boy of comedy with hopes of creating a star.

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Obmulap
12:53PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I actually enjoyed Good Luck Chuck and Employee of the Month, but I think in both of those cases it was more because of the supporting cast and not the leads. And Nitro72, I've seen the lost pilots and yeah you can see why they got lost. Other than Liz Vassey in the 2nd pilot, nothing at all watchable.

I actually enjoyed Good Luck Chuck and Employee of the Month, but I think in both of those cases it was more because of the supporting cast and not the leads. And Nitro72, I've seen the lost pilots and yeah you can see why they got lost. Other than Liz Vassey in the 2nd pilot, nothing at all watchable.

 

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nitro72
12:31PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Stick to Stand-Up

I consider myself a HUGE fan of Dane Cook in terms of his Stand-Up act (I was one those who was into his stuff before he became famous, just before 'Harmful' was released), but I, too, believe he should stop acting - just STOP altogether. He has never been able to find the right vehicle for his comedy in this medium (did any of you ever see his terrible DVD 'The Lost Pilots'?... absolutely unw...

I consider myself a HUGE fan of Dane Cook in terms of his Stand-Up act (I was one those who was into his stuff before he became famous, just before 'Harmful' was released), but I, too, believe he should stop acting - just STOP altogether. He has never been able to find the right vehicle for his comedy in this medium (did any of you ever see his terrible DVD 'The Lost Pilots'?... absolutely unwatchable dreck!!). Go back out on the road and stay FAR away from movies & TV (unless you're doing another GREAT HBO or Comedy Central special).

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PuffCity
12:27PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I don't really care for Dane Cook, but Good Luck Chuck and My Best Friend's Girl were actually pretty funny, not that you would know as you probably never gave them a chance. I'm not saying it's because of Dane Cook, but you gotta stop with this prejudiced bashing. When did this site become such a bandwagony bashing site? Everyone now has the exact same opinion based on nothing. Gotta ease up o...

I don't really care for Dane Cook, but Good Luck Chuck and My Best Friend's Girl were actually pretty funny, not that you would know as you probably never gave them a chance. I'm not saying it's because of Dane Cook, but you gotta stop with this prejudiced bashing. When did this site become such a bandwagony bashing site? Everyone now has the exact same opinion based on nothing. Gotta ease up on the negativity people.

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marcovision1
12:21PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Dane Cook is probably one of the hardest working comedians in the biz. You don't have the #1 selling comedy album of all time for no reason. His acting is up in the air, but still... he's a multi millionaire and you're not, so it's easy to see why you guys are hatin'.

Dane Cook is probably one of the hardest working comedians in the biz. You don't have the #1 selling comedy album of all time for no reason. His acting is up in the air, but still... he's a multi millionaire and you're not, so it's easy to see why you guys are hatin'.

 

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studboi69
12:16PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

It's a funny thing. A few years ago, you were all riding on Dane Cook's jock, claiming him to be the best thing that's ever happened to comedy. You all ate up his stand-up and his album "Retaliation". Flash forward to the present, and he's about as popular as Hitler. Are you just hating him because he really sucks or you just hating on him because it's cool and hip?

It's a funny thing. A few years ago, you were all riding on Dane Cook's jock, claiming him to be the best thing that's ever happened to comedy. You all ate up his stand-up and his album "Retaliation". Flash forward to the present, and he's about as popular as Hitler. Are you just hating him because he really sucks or you just hating on him because it's cool and hip?

 

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seanster897
12:01PM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

dane cook is the worst thing to happen to comedy... ever.

dane cook is the worst thing to happen to comedy... ever.

 

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beast90000
11:52AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

double team

when i saw him with dennis rodman in simon sex with dennis rodman i knew it was bad for him. startedwith a bomb end with one.

when i saw him with dennis rodman in simon sex with dennis rodman i knew it was bad for him. startedwith a bomb end with one.

 

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jayrizzo
11:48AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

poor dane

its hard to judge his movie status being he's done the same rom com over and over. its one thing to pick a bad movie but picking the same bad role over and over is disappointing, leave that shit to jason biggs. I'd like to see cook in something original, not necessarily a leading role. His short role in Waiting was great. I think he still has a chance for that breakthrough role, lets hope h...

its hard to judge his movie status being he's done the same rom com over and over. its one thing to pick a bad movie but picking the same bad role over and over is disappointing, leave that shit to jason biggs. I'd like to see cook in something original, not necessarily a leading role. His short role in Waiting was great. I think he still has a chance for that breakthrough role, lets hope he doesn't get stuck doing a sitcom (or has he already done that?)

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darqjade
11:21AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I acutally liked Good Luck Chuck , and I enjoyed My Best friend's girl more than i thought i would. I won't bag on the guy, if he is capable of getting the roles, then why not play them. Everyone and everything has it place and time, this happens to be his.

I acutally liked Good Luck Chuck , and I enjoyed My Best friend's girl more than i thought i would. I won't bag on the guy, if he is capable of getting the roles, then why not play them. Everyone and everything has it place and time, this happens to be his.

 

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xylemsith
11:21AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Hmmmm . . .

. . . I actually liked "Good Luck Chuck." (Maybe it had to do with all the naked girls . . . oh well.)

. . . I actually liked "Good Luck Chuck." (Maybe it had to do with all the naked girls . . . oh well.)

 

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Preston_79
10:20AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I like his comedy. I hope he continues in movies, just not as a leading man.

I like his comedy. I hope he continues in movies, just not as a leading man.

 

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Shaggy89
10:16AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

bravo.

bravo.

 

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AwesomeZara
10:09AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Here's the thing. Dane Cook is a niche comedian. After years of being addicted to them, I can tell you that there are the lesser known geniuses, Mitch Hedberg (RIP) was the greatest... but you also have guys like Brian Posehn and Patton Oswalt, right on the cusp but just not mainstream and asinine enough to market as movie stars. As Mitch once said, he was funny but then they wanted him to writ...

Here's the thing. Dane Cook is a niche comedian. After years of being addicted to them, I can tell you that there are the lesser known geniuses, Mitch Hedberg (RIP) was the greatest... but you also have guys like Brian Posehn and Patton Oswalt, right on the cusp but just not mainstream and asinine enough to market as movie stars. As Mitch once said, he was funny but then they wanted him to write a script. Dane Cook wasn't even a good cook that they asked to farm. He just made good scrambled eggs one day for his hung-over buddies.

Dane Cook often is interviewed detailing his lifestyle as a straight-edge one. He doesn't drink, do drugs or go through other debauchery. He was raised as one of ten kids in a very strict Catholic family. His whole stand-up shtick is based on a false persona. His niche as a lead actor is based on top of that. You can't convincingly BE a douchebag unless you've been there/done that at some point in your life. He fails because he has no viable experience.

I just recently finally watched MR. BROOKS and I think it eloquently captured Cook's abilities. He's a good side character and nothing more. As William Hurt's character mentions in the film, "Even if that guy was charming and funny, I still wouldn't like him." And I think Cook actually realizes this. I think that role was the truest to his real nature as anything he's done.

While I agree that he's not a leading man, I won't completely count the guy out from being potentially viable in film in the future. That would be like all the assholes who hate on Uwe Boll without having watched his movies. Might as well bleat, yannow?

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Worthystevens
10:08AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Ugh

This Dane Cook hate bandwagon is starting to get REAL old.

This Dane Cook hate bandwagon is starting to get REAL old.

 

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Rollin Hand
9:01AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

c'mon dude

Is this jealousy I hear? Through all this ranting and raving, it's just whining that he can't get any closer to the hotties as Dane.

Is this jealousy I hear? Through all this ranting and raving, it's just whining that he can't get any closer to the hotties as Dane.

 

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snoopmish
8:37AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I agree...the guy just bugs me. And I agree with "What are you doing Kate?" BUT Jessica Alba has about the same acting talent as Cook so that one doesn't bug me as much.

(Admit it guys. She is a BAD actress, she's just hot.)

I agree...the guy just bugs me. And I agree with "What are you doing Kate?" BUT Jessica Alba has about the same acting talent as Cook so that one doesn't bug me as much.

(Admit it guys. She is a BAD actress, she's just hot.)

 

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Vlad99
8:35AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

No Actor Here

Great one Sturdy! Stepping in shit is what Cook did.

Great one Sturdy! Stepping in shit is what Cook did.

 

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Donnie_Darko
8:24AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Couldn't agree more Sturdy. Not only is he not a movie star, he's not funny either.

Couldn't agree more Sturdy. Not only is he not a movie star, he's not funny either.

 

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DeejayForte
8:23AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I actually liked Good Luck Chuck :|

I actually liked Good Luck Chuck :|

 

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ragekorne
8:20AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

Who cares? Really I give the man props for getting to be with all those hot chicks. And please tell me you'd rather see a Dane Cook film than any Disaster/Superhero Movie. THOSE insult the audiences intelligence. You know full well what you'd get with a Dane Cook movie. Dane acting immature and landing a smokin hot chick. Whatev. Quit hating. Do I like any of the movies he's the star of...

Who cares? Really I give the man props for getting to be with all those hot chicks. And please tell me you'd rather see a Dane Cook film than any Disaster/Superhero Movie. THOSE insult the audiences intelligence. You know full well what you'd get with a Dane Cook movie. Dane acting immature and landing a smokin hot chick. Whatev. Quit hating. Do I like any of the movies he's the star of? No. But I dont give a crap they continue to get made. Most people realize Jessica Alba is one crap tastic actress who gets shoved down our throats to be a STAR. Where are the haters for her films? Oh right, just cuz she's hot she gets a pass. Let bygones be bygones. He'll continue to make movies. Big deal.

O.k., I will admit like Scabby I didnt mind him in Dan in Real Life.

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grungehippy
8:00AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

THANK YOU!

I don't get it either. I don't care for his "stand-up" and I especially don't care for him in movies. That's why on Facebook I joined the "Dane Cook Is Not Funny" group.

I don't get it either. I don't care for his "stand-up" and I especially don't care for him in movies. That's why on Facebook I joined the "Dane Cook Is Not Funny" group.

 

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Scabby
7:15AM on 09/30/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile

I liked him in Dan In Real Life :|

I liked him in Dan In Real Life :|

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