Click here to read the 20s - 11s
BEWARE SPOILERS!!
10s.
Hero - The Other Toys (TOY STORY 1&2) / Villain - Waternoose (MONSTER'S, INC)
I wanted to put them all separate, because they deserve that kind of love, but decided to make it a package deal. Hamm, Slinky, Rex, and Potato Head all have their special moments of awesomeness throughout this series and will surely continue the trend come next Summer. Count on it. Voiced by John Ratzenberger, Jim Varney, Wallace Shawn, and Don Rickles.
Henry J. Waternoose seems to be a stand-up monster for the majority of the film but turns to the dark side when his plans for Boo come to light and he banishes Sully and Mike to live with hairy John Ratzenberger. This is a punishment I had to deal with after getting caught pantless in church. Not fun. Voiced by James Coburn.
9s.
Hero - Dash & Violet (THE INCREDIBLES) / Villain - Bruce (FINDING NEMO)
Both are equally important to the survival of the super-human race but it's Dash that provides, probably, my favorite Pixar moment ever when he discovers his ability to run on water and let's out a little giggle before tearing ass through the lake. Voiced by Spencer Fox and Sarah Vowell.
Some might consider him a friend, but after seeing how quickly he turns with the smell of blood, I'd keep this big bastard as far away as possible. Fish are friends, my ass. Voiced by Barry Humphries.
8s.
Hero - Sully (MONSTER'S, INC) / Villain - Charles Muntz (UP)
A good dude to have on your side in a bar brawl, I would think. Although, I don't think too many guys are gong to mess with you while hanging out with a seven foot purple and green monster that drinks moonshine. He drinks moonshine, I checked. Voiced by John Goodman.
This crazy old fart might be as smart as hell and seem cozy at first but don't let him catch you stealing his bird. I wonder if he has any relation to Nelson from 'The Simpsons". Voiced by Christopher Plummer.
7s.
Hero - Marlin (FINDING NEMO) / Villain - Emperor Zurg (TOY STORY 2)
Best dad ever? Would your dad fight sharks, jellyfish, an anglerfish, and a barracuda for you? Would your dad blindly jump on the back of a stoned turtle in hopes of finding you? My dad would make a few calls and then get back to the hockey game. Voiced by Albert Brooks.
Blew Buzz's upper torso off in the video game and then almost finished him off in person before Rex's giant tail defeated him. I hope he (or another version of him) makes it into the third movie. There was a lot of potential there for some epic toy battles. Voiced by Andrew Stanton.
6s.
Hero - Lightning McQueen (CARS) / Villain - Auto (WALL-E)
Showed some class at the end of the film but is still too shiny and happy for me. It blows my mind that this film is getting a sequel but MONSTERS, INC and THE INCREDIBLES get passed over. Voiced by Owen Wilson.
Can you blame something that is just following it's directive without the ability to consider the alternatives? I can, you bitter little bitch. Mix in an emotion program there, poopy pants. Voiced by MacInTalk.
5s.
Hero - Mike Wazowski (MONSTERS, INC) / Villain - Stinky Pete (TOY STORY 2)
It's amazing how much more important Mike is than Sully in this film. He ends up saving everybody's ass more than once out of situations he tried to avoid in the first place by being the more rational monster. Not to mention how he turns out to be the franchise player in the end and puts together Boo's door by scrounging up a zillion little pieces of wood. That's why he got the girl in the end. The legal one. Voiced by Billy Crystal.
There's a blooper involving Pete on the DVD that has him farting in his box. My son has never laughed harder in his life. I love this evil little prospector for that. And he made the pickaxe a popular choice for bad guys before Harry Warden did. Voiced by Kelsey Grammer.
4s.
Hero - Wall-E (WALL-E) / Hopper (A BUG'S LIFE)
Probably the most lovable Pixar character ever, this rusty box of fun deserved to roll his ass out on stage and pick up a Best Picture Oscar. Then he could throw it in his belly, compact the shit out of it, and whip it at the academy while doing donuts in the audience. I'm getting tired. Voiced by Ben Burtt.
In my opinion, the best looking character Pixar has ever created (as I use an artist's rendering. I'm an a-hole). Their first character to actually kill other characters too. This is one disturbed bug and the reason I kick grasshoppers in the face now. It's hard to line them up but totally worth it. Voiced by Kevin Spacey.
3s.
Hero - Buzz Lightyear (TOY STORY 1&2) / Villain Sid (TOY STORY)
A fantastic toy to have around when all your other toys are in trouble. Why do you have so many toys? Buzz can do it all (except fly, shoot lasers, contact others throughout the galaxy, and anything else involving super powers. He is just a toy after all). Voiced by Tim Allen.
Another human that doesn't really know he's the villain. He's just being your everyday asshole brat by blowing up action figures and dismembering everything his parents worked so hard to buy him. I'm pretty sure he's in the nut-house by now after seeing all his victims come to life. Good for him. Voiced by Erik von Detten.
2s.
Hero - Mr. Incredible (THE INCREDIBLES) / Villain - Randall Boggs (MONSTERS, INC)
Even when he's not allowed to be a super hero, he is, and the severely mismatched body shape doesn't slow him down a second. Seriously, how do those shins hold together while power lifting trains? Those are some good genes. Voiced by Craig T. Nelson.
An excellent choice when looking to hire a monster to scare the bejebus out of little kids. He's also good at double crossing, conniving, kidnapping, sabotage, and turning all sorts of pretty colors. Voiced by Steve Buscemi.
1s.
Hero - Woody (TOY STORY 1&2) / Villain - Syndrome (THE INCREDIBLES)
Slaps some common sense into Buzz and saves his ass in the first movie. Rescues Wheezy, Jessie, and Bullseye in the second movie. Figures out he's a pop culture icon and keeps his head about it, finds Buzz a girlfriend, and seems to be tapping Bo Peep on the side. Woody is a pimp. Voiced by Tom Hanks.
Has the best evil plan to take over the world. Might be the smartest and richest bad-guy on the list. Great costume, better hair, hot assistant, wiped out dozens of Supers before he met his match, and is voiced by Jason Lee. If you're keeping track though, he did get beat up by a baby resulting in his (presumed) death. Was I just monolouging?
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2:50PM on 06/05/2009