My 10 Favourite Elevator Scenes
When I was around ten years old, my brother (of DVD Prescriptions fame) and I were taking the stairs of the apartment building we lived in when we heard some blood-curdling screams coming from the fifth floor. We rushed out to find a little girl with her fingers caught between the elevator door and the jam in which it slides open behind. My brother calmly slammed his entire body into the door and wrenched her digits out of danger. It made me think he was a super hero. It also made me think of how evil elevators are and how little they should be fucked with. Don't believe me? Eat ass, and read on.
BEWARE SPOILERS!!
10. Toy Story 2
They met again, for the last time. Unless Zurg shows up in the third movie. Come to think of it, Buzz ran into him again outside, playing catch with the other Buzz. Hmm, this movie is filled with lies.
9. Final Destination 2
I love how the chick thinks the creepy old dude with the box of fake arms is going to kill her and then ends up getting decapitated by the elevator. Such a fun twist. I'll take this opportunity to mention TOTAL RECALL and RESIDENT EVIL here too since they both have similar good times.
8. Die Hard
Shit was on like Donkey Kong once McClane sent this dead German Santa-terrorist to the party. My buddy once sent a dead hooker down in an elevator with a shirt that said" Now I have chlamydia. Hoe, Hoe, Hoe." God, I miss Vegas.
7. The Departed
This is one of those "Oh, SHIT!" moments that slaps you in the sack when you aren't looking. Talk about getting off on the wrong floor. Leo takes one between the eyes and all Damon gets is a blood-goatee? Thank God for Marky Mark.
6. Dawn of the Dead
At least the only thing Leo saw coming for him was a bullet and not this horde. That's what you get when you push the button that says "Zombies", I guess. I never push that button. It was all in good fun anyway as this crazy bunch was just itching to get their hands on Flyboy to give him a makeover. The result? Undead Flyboy! Fabulous!
5. Dressed to Kill
A great set-up to a great thriller. You know you're having a bad night when you can't get any lovin' at home so you try to get dicked by your psychiatrist who, instead, abruptly ends your session. So you find some random ass out on the town, go back to his place and let him in. Then you find his card with all the information about his STD, forget your wedding ring on his nightstand, and get sliced to death by a giant tranny on the elevator. Buy a vibrator.
4. The Shining
How fucked is this hotel? It was bad enough for a innocent little child like myself to watch the creepy twins stalk the hallways. By the time this elevator lets loose with 40 gallons of blood I was ready to start cutting myself in kindergarten.
3. Aliens
Can you imagine how scared you'd be in this situation? Your stuck at a dead end while the mother of the most lethal species in the universe in hunting you down. I would have thrown Newt at her and took a header over the edge. I'd rather take a chance with the exploding fireballs and jagged metal beams. I always wondered how she knew what floor to get off on though.
2. Silence of the Lambs
I love the intensity of this scene and the moment we all realize what's going on. You think Hannibal Lecter is stupid enough to die on the top of an elevator? He's already had two plates of Paramedic and side order of driver by the time these clowns stop shooting their own cop.
1. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
You don't get more bad-ass than Arnold in the shot above. Hey, we have the most dangerous force on the planet hunting us down and trying to kill us. He has the ability to shape-shift into crazy-sharp objects of death and is almost impossible to kill. Oh, and he has a gun too. Excuse me while I blow his head apart with my shot gun.
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9:13AM on 09/19/2009