CONTEST WINNERS HAVE BEEN
ANNOUNCED!
I
am absolutely AMAZED at the number of entries that we got for our three
autographed books. Damn, close to 700 people all wanting to read my mindless
scribblings? If even half you folks bought that shite over the Net every week,
the book would be on the New York Times best-sellers list lickety-split!! ;)
That said, I honestly want to THANK every single person who entered
personally (well, this is as personal as it gets without sending emails out for
the next two weeks) because you all touched us at JUST the right time of the
year. I know I asked you guys to "suck our asses", but either all of
you are excellent exaggerators or damn dude...sniff, sniff...you LOVE
US...YOU REALLY, REALLY LOVE US!!
We received entries from folks in the military
(very cool), people asking for books for their kids, for their husbands,
offering us sexual favors (please leave your phone numbers next time), comparing
us to the Beatles (sacrilegious!), using their heritage as a way to bribe their
way in, offering generous amount of FIGHT CLUB related items, poems, f*ck you
notes, comparisons to Roger Ebert and his suckiness and so much more. I also
liked how you all used my personal "handicaps" (i.e. Depp, nachos,
Hayek, my huge penis, Mendes, etc...) to entice me further into your entries.
Great moves! It was truly a BLAST to read all of your stuff. PS: All of you who
corrected my 1 spelling error from the original contest posting were
automatically disqualified for being "jerks". Just shittin' ya! Nice
catch actually. I suck.
That said, I simply could NOT choose only 3
winners out of all the entries, so I decided to give away 5 SIGNED COPIES
instead, and to be honest witcha, could easily have given out dozens more, but
the money-crunch cut into it (also, how 'bout some of you reach down and toss
$20 into the book, ya cheapskates!) The majority of the entries were fun,
creative and altogether kick-ass and I read every single one of them myself
(took forever, let me tell you, but I jerked off to some of them too, so that
took even more time) Click below to read the 5 entries that "deserved"
to win, but be sure to click the LINK below that one as well, which includes
many of the other creative, funny, hipster runners-up. I swear I'm gonna read
these things whenever I return from a late night out on the town without having
picked up a lady-friend, just so I can feel better about myself. I should have
contests like this more often! Happy hollies, folks and to the winners, check
your email for more details...
Click
here to read winners entries
Click
here to read the runners-up
---------------------------
THE JOBLO.COM
BOOK CONTEST!!
It's
the friggin' holidays so what better time to give out free copies of our book,
right? This contest will run from Dec. 11-18 and to win one of three autographed
copies, tell us why you think you deserve the book? Are you a big fan of the site? Do you like
my dinky reviews? Speak up, chum...I can't heard you! Whoever sucks my ass the
greatest, but also slaps some actual facts about their dedication to the site into
the mix, along with some creativity, wins a copy of the book. We encourage imagination,
movie references and swearing and will deduct points for bad spelling (you see,
school does make a difference in life!) Sending me pictures of hot
girls won't help your cause, but will help mine.
For anyone who doesn't know
about our book yet, it's called JOBLO.COM
PRESENTS...THE 50 COOLEST MOVIES OF ALL-TIME and represents my
first published work. The book includes 50 reviews of very groovy movies (most
not available on this website-- see entire list below), as well as little known facts
and trivia about them, the "coolest thing" about each film, an intro
and epilogue by yours truly written while drunk and a very neat foreword by
writer/director Kevin Smith. You can also buy the book if you're not interested in
sucking my ass through Amazon.com,
Amazon.ca
or Amazon.co.uk.
Email me if you want to purchase an autographed copy. Otherwise, check
out some of the book's reviews below and enter now, baby!
Aliens
American Psycho
Austin Powers
The Big Lebowski
Blade 2
Blade Runner
Boogie Nights
Bound
Clerks
A Clockwork Orange
The Crow
Dark City
Die Hard
Dirty Harry
Empire Strikes Back
Enter the Dragon
Evil Dead 2
Face/Off
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Fight Club
Get Shorty
Goodfellas
Grease
Heat
The Killer |
La Femme Nikita
Lock Stock and Two..
The Lost Boys
Mad Max
The Matrix
Out of Sight
Point Break
The Professional
Pulp Fiction
Rambo
Reservoir Dogs
Robocop
Run Lola Run
Saturday Night Fever
Scarface
Seven
Shaft
Swingers
The Terminator
Thelma & Louise
Trainspotting
True Romance
The Usual Suspects
A View to a Kill
Wall Street |
Why do you think
you deserve an autographed JoBlo.com book? What do you dig the most about this
site? How creative can you be?
The book has received nothing but
great response from fans and reviewers alike (read some fan
feedback at the bottom of the Amazon.com page), many of
which you can see below. If you
represent a media publication interested in a review copy of the
book, please email me
with your info and I will get back to you asap.
"While
people like Roger Ebert and Leonard Maltin crank out their
"Movie Encyclopedia of the Year", encompassing so many
movies that no one could ever comprehend, JoBlo has assembled 50
movies that I'd say are worth seeing over and over again."
-- DVDAuthority.com
"...reviews are extremely relatable,
non-threatening and honest. In each review, he comes across as your
average fun-loving movie guy. He’s that guy!" -- Entertainment
Today
"The real beauty of this book is the
genuine examination of the films. It cleverly avoids the boring
details and is brutally honest..." -- Film
Magazine
"A good film critic is as hard to find
as a really good blowjob. Yes -- ultimately, every blowjob can be
considered good enough if it gets the job done. But the really good,
rock-out-with-your-cock-out kind of head that makes a guy marry
someone. That's shit's rare. As rare as JoBlo."-- Kevin
Smith (writer/director)
"...a "must" for movie
buffs, whether they dip into the entries here and there, or simply
start with page one and read straight on through!"
-- Midwest Book Review
"...his writing style is infectiously
enthusiastic." -- Montreal Mirror
"...you can tell that JoBlo has an
understanding of why movies work beyond just being kinetic or funny.
Take that, Roger Ebert.
" -- Moviepoopshoot.com
"JoBlo's turn-of-phrase is unique in
film criticism: a pride in standing up for what he believes in and a
refreshing lack of pretension in sharing his thoughts and enthusiasm
on the celluloid world." -- The New York Resident
"...written in a chatty, internet
style, and thus, feels very casual. Overall, a fun, quick
read." -- RottenTomatoes.com
"This guy is knowledgeable and funny
as hell. With film criticism today largely polarized between stuffy
cineastes and inarticulate buffoons, JoBlo is indeed a breath of
fresh air." -- Rue Morgue
--------------------
Thanks to everyone for their
support!!!!
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