PROLOGUE
It's not every day that a comment by
one of our writers sparks someone else's imagination, but when our very own Jim
Law said that Johnny Depp "...could star in a movie about paint
drying and I'd wait in line for it" in a news article last week, it
sparked in another the idea of Johnny Depp actually making a film in
which he watched paint dry. What follows is a hilarious fake interview with the
great Johnny Depp by the writer best known as Shadow
online.
The following is a fictitious
interview with actor Johnny Depp. This interview never took place and the film
does not exist.
Watching
Paint Dry
:
My Interview with Johnny Depp
with Hector Hornburger
HH:
The cinematic world is still reeling over the phenomenal and inexplicable
success of Johnny Depp’s latest movie WATCHING PAINT DRY.
The movie has been in the top ten for the last 17 weeks, has grossed over
$246 million dollars domestically and shows no sign of slacking off.
Pretty good return for a small, independent film that cost $3,258.27 to
make. Johnny, what was the story about
how this film came into being?
JD:
Well, some of the guys and I were sitting around the Viper Room late at
night, drinking and generally hassling each other.
Then one of the guys quoted a JoBlo off the internet who said “Johnny
Depp could star in a movie about paint drying, and I would stand in line to
watch it.” After we all got a good laugh about that one, we looked at each
other and the light bulbs came on. Here
was a concept for a movie that hasn’t been done to death in Hollywood.
In fact, it hadn’t to my knowledge been done at all, which left a lot
of room for creativity and collaboration. By
the time the night was over, we had the basic script for the movie:
1) Guy brings paint into the
house. 2)
Guy paints the walls. 3)
The paint dries on the walls. It
was brilliant.
HH:
Sal Jenco is the director of the film and Robert Rodriguez is listed as
producer. How did that scenario evolve?
JD:
As we discussed how the film could be made, Sal volunteered to be the
director. Since he had bought the most
rounds that night, we agreed, providing he would get all the Robert Rodriguez
DVDs and watch the film classes so he would know what he was doing.
I did warn him that directing was not as easy as it looks, but he was
really ok with it. Turned out later we
needed more film equipment and processing ability than we had so I met with
Robert and we worked out a deal where he would produce our movie and I would
star in his upcoming flick (tentatively titled THE SAGA OF SHELDON SANDS)
HH:
What process did you go through to develop your character in WATCHING
PAINT DRY?
JD:
First off, we decided as a tribute to our favorite Spaghetti Westerns
that the guy’s name would not be given. That,
and we could never agree on a name we all liked.
To develop the foundation for the
character I used a mixture of the following: the dedication of Albert Einstein,
the craftiness of Tom Sawyer, and the angst of Sean Penn.
Then I took them where they would go in the moment.
And costume was important.
It was decided early on to keep it simple with just the t-shirt and jeans
with the knees out. After all, he was
painting the house.
HH:
While the primary focus of the movie was your character, there were
several nice cameos in the movie. Can you
take us through some of them and how they ended up in the film?
JD:
Once the project got off the ground, I was amazed at the many people who
were willing and eager to work for nothing just to be in the movie.
For example, Christina Ricci, Charlize Theron, and Lena Olin all came in
and painted the dining room together. Fantastic
actors and lovely ladies. This was a great scene, though I do think Sal should
have cut some of the remarks they made about my technique and style.
But, that is why he’s the director and why I don’t like to watch my
movies.
Orlando Bloom also dropped
in one Saturday while he was here filming Pirates 2 and offered to paint that
door. Sweet kid with a great future ahead
of him. But, a couple of things to watch
with Orlando. That boy can sure wield a
paintbrush. Wicked, man. Must come from
all that sword fighting. And, make sure
you have everything else in the room covered because when he gets going, the
paint just flies.
HH:
Much has been made of the emotional depth you showed in your scenes with
and following Marlon Brando’s appearance. Would
you care to comment on them?
JD:
That was really one of those in the moment occasions.
When Marlon stumbled into that wall, he didn’t realize the paint had
only dried to that sticky consistency. From
there it was all ad lib and he was totally frenetic.
I know I came across as sobbing hysterically, but in actuality, I was
laughing so hard the tears were rolling. And
even in the next scenes where the guy had to sand the wall, reseal, and repaint
it, those whimpers were all I could vocalize without busting loose again.
HH:
There have been a few women who are now forbidden from seeing this movie
as they get hysterical at the sock scene. I
know you are basically a shy person. How
do you do a scene like that comfortably?
JD:
It was difficult for me. I
basically just psyched myself into the character, ignored all the people around
me, and then lifted my pant legs and rolled those puppies down.
I couldn’t believe it though when I saw they left the shot of me
wiggling my toes in the movie. I was sure
they would cut that one. I was also
surprised they left the shower scene in. I
have no idea why it is still there, as it adds nothing to the story line.
HH:
WATCHING PAINT DRY is two hours and 13 minutes long.
The two primary characters in the movie are you and the walls.
You spend most of the film just painting, playing guitar, reading, and
goofing off. Did you have any
suspicion when you were making this movie that it would become this kind of
phenomenal success?
JD:
Absolutely not. When you make a movie, you hope the people will go see it
and enjoy your work. And everyone
involved contributed so much. Iggy (Pop)
did a great job on the soundtrack, Vanessa (Paradis) wrote and sang the
marvelous title song, and the rest of the crew were equally amazing.
We had such a blast making this, it was almost a crime.
I am completely stunned and pleased by how well it has been received.
HH:
So what is up next? Any plans for
a sequel?
JD:
It is still in the discussion phase.
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