Johnny Depp interview?

PROLOGUE

It's not every day that a comment by one of our writers sparks someone else's imagination, but when our very own Jim Law said that Johnny Depp "...could star in a movie about paint drying and I'd wait in line for it" in a news article last week, it sparked in another the idea of Johnny Depp actually making a film in which he watched paint dry. What follows is a hilarious fake interview with the great Johnny Depp by the writer best known as Shadow online.

The following is a fictitious interview with actor Johnny Depp. This interview never took place and the film does not exist.

Watching Paint Dry :
My Interview with Johnny Depp
with Hector Hornburger

HH: The cinematic world is still reeling over the phenomenal and inexplicable success of Johnny Depp’s latest movie WATCHING PAINT DRY. The movie has been in the top ten for the last 17 weeks, has grossed over $246 million dollars domestically and shows no sign of slacking off. Pretty good return for a small, independent film that cost $3,258.27 to make. Johnny, what was the story about how this film came into being?

JD: Well, some of the guys and I were sitting around the Viper Room late at night, drinking and generally hassling each other. Then one of the guys quoted a JoBlo off the internet who said “Johnny Depp could star in a movie about paint drying, and I would stand in line to watch it.” After we all got a good laugh about that one, we looked at each other and the light bulbs came on. Here was a concept for a movie that hasn’t been done to death in Hollywood. In fact, it hadn’t to my knowledge been done at all, which left a lot of room for creativity and collaboration. By the time the night was over, we had the basic script for the movie: 1) Guy brings paint into the house. 2) Guy paints the walls. 3) The paint dries on the walls. It was brilliant.

HH: Sal Jenco is the director of the film and Robert Rodriguez is listed as producer. How did that scenario evolve?

JD: As we discussed how the film could be made, Sal volunteered to be the director. Since he had bought the most rounds that night, we agreed, providing he would get all the Robert Rodriguez DVDs and watch the film classes so he would know what he was doing. I did warn him that directing was not as easy as it looks, but he was really ok with it. Turned out later we needed more film equipment and processing ability than we had so I met with Robert and we worked out a deal where he would produce our movie and I would star in his upcoming flick (tentatively titled THE SAGA OF SHELDON SANDS)

HH: What process did you go through to develop your character in WATCHING PAINT DRY?

JD: First off, we decided as a tribute to our favorite Spaghetti Westerns that the guy’s name would not be given. That, and we could never agree on a name we all liked. To develop the foundation for the character I used a mixture of the following: the dedication of Albert Einstein, the craftiness of Tom Sawyer, and the angst of Sean Penn.   Then I took them where they would go in the moment. 

And costume was important. It was decided early on to keep it simple with just the t-shirt and jeans with the knees out. After all, he was painting the house.

HH: While the primary focus of the movie was your character, there were several nice cameos in the movie. Can you take us through some of them and how they ended up in the film?

JD: Once the project got off the ground, I was amazed at the many people who were willing and eager to work for nothing just to be in the movie. For example, Christina Ricci, Charlize Theron, and Lena Olin all came in and painted the dining room together. Fantastic actors and lovely ladies. This was a great scene, though I do think Sal should have cut some of the remarks they made about my technique and style. But, that is why he’s the director and why I don’t like to watch my movies.

Orlando Bloom also dropped in one Saturday while he was here filming Pirates 2 and offered to paint that door. Sweet kid with a great future ahead of him. But, a couple of things to watch with Orlando. That boy can sure wield a paintbrush. Wicked, man. Must come from all that sword fighting. And, make sure you have everything else in the room covered because when he gets going, the paint just flies.

HH: Much has been made of the emotional depth you showed in your scenes with and following Marlon Brando’s appearance. Would you care to comment on them?

JD: That was really one of those in the moment occasions. When Marlon stumbled into that wall, he didn’t realize the paint had only dried to that sticky consistency. From there it was all ad lib and he was totally frenetic. I know I came across as sobbing hysterically, but in actuality, I was laughing so hard the tears were rolling. And even in the next scenes where the guy had to sand the wall, reseal, and repaint it, those whimpers were all I could vocalize without busting loose again.

HH: There have been a few women who are now forbidden from seeing this movie as they get hysterical at the sock scene. I know you are basically a shy person. How do you do a scene like that comfortably?

JD: It was difficult for me. I basically just psyched myself into the character, ignored all the people around me, and then lifted my pant legs and rolled those puppies down. I couldn’t believe it though when I saw they left the shot of me wiggling my toes in the movie. I was sure they would cut that one. I was also surprised they left the shower scene in. I have no idea why it is still there, as it adds nothing to the story line.

HH: WATCHING PAINT DRY is two hours and 13 minutes long. The two primary characters in the movie are you and the walls. You spend most of the film just painting, playing guitar, reading, and goofing off.  Did you have any suspicion when you were making this movie that it would become this kind of phenomenal success?

JD: Absolutely not. When you make a movie, you hope the people will go see it and enjoy your work. And everyone involved contributed so much. Iggy (Pop) did a great job on the soundtrack, Vanessa (Paradis) wrote and sang the marvelous title song, and the rest of the crew were equally amazing. We had such a blast making this, it was almost a crime. I am completely stunned and pleased by how well it has been received.

HH: So what is up next? Any plans for a sequel? 

JD: It is still in the discussion phase.

Source: Shadow , Johnny Depp Zone