We're not big fans of "gossip" news on this site (in fact,
we never cover it), but this story was just too big to ignore. Who
knows what sorts of waves this will cause through the Hollywood
community. Weird stuff. I've pasted the entire article below:
Keanu Reeves and Alan Cumming get
married
Wednesday March 31,11:59
PM ET
MASSACHUSETTS
(Providence Journal) - First Rosie, now Keanu! Only days before the
Massachusetts legislature was set to vote on the banning of gay
marriages in their state, actors Keanu Reeves and Alan Cumming,
raced over there to marry one another before a small party of
invited friends. Reeves, star of such films as "The
Matrix", "Something's Gotta Give" and "Point
Break" had always been rumored to be gay, but always maintained
his heterosexuality. Cumming, star of such films as "Spy
Kids" and "X-Men 2" had always been openly bi-sexual,
but had never married before. The duo, who had apparently been
"secretly dating on-and-off" for over four years, wrote
their own vows and recited them while Melissa Etheridge softly
hummed "Come Through my Window" in the background.
The state of Massachusetts was getting set to amend the state
constitution to ban gay marriage but establish civil unions for
same-sex couples, which is one of the reasons the long-time
companions decided to speed up the process and marry right now.
Ex-talk show host Rosie O'Donnell married her six-year companion
Kelli Carpenter in a similar high-profile celebrity gay wedding in
San Francisco on February 27th. Reeves said that this was the
"happiest day of his life, both professionally and
personally". The couple, who held hands and french-kissed
openly in a press conference after the civil ceremony, were happy to
get it all out in the open, "I wanted to come out when The
Matrix hit big, but my agents told me that it would be career
suicide. I'm glad that I can finally tell the world that I am gay
and proud today. Thanks to The Matrix Revolutions!"
Reeves
and Cumming flew from Los Angeles to Auburn, Massachusetts
yesterday afternoon, for a 4 p.m. appointment at the Auburn City
Hall to obtain a marriage license. Immediately after the license was
issued, the marriage ceremony was performed by City Treasurer K.D.
Grant. The ceremony was held behind closed doors in a Mayor Gavin
McCleod's office. "It was one of the most beautiful things that
I have ever witnessed", said McCleod, "Keanu looked as
though he was on cloud nine, while Cumming was in tears the whole
way through. He was definitely the more 'queen' of the two".
The wedding, a first for either actor, lasted only a few minutes,
but featured plenty of bouquets and show tunes.
Cumming, elated by the whole affair, couldn't help but let his
joy be known to the world at the jam-packed press conference,
"I love Keanu Reeves and I don't care who knows! I am a man and
I love another man and I am proud of it. Tom...come out already, you
jerk!" Cumming's last remark apparently aimed at actor Tom
Cruise, a celebrity who has been dogged by "gay rumors"
since he hit it big, despite being married twice (to women), having
children with one of them and dating plenty of women over the years.
Reeves, embarrassed by Cumming remark, followed that up with a
crude note about his partner's surname, "Forget Tom, Alan...I'm
going to be Cumming with you tonight!" The crowd, made
up of a variety of cross-dressers, transvestites, lesbians and
business men in suits, squealed throughout most of the flashy
affair.
Gerry Adelstein, founder of the "Gay Men for America"
Organization took the opportunity to re-integrate their agenda,
"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't one man tell
another man that he loves him without the government getting
involved?" Adelstein, also known for dating actor Corey Feldman
(who is, surprisingly, not gay himself), also had some harsh words
for those people who are opposed to the legislation, "We are
proud to be gay and free in this society and other than Richard
Simmons, proud of every single of one of our man-loving brothers".
After the ceremony, Keanu had a few beers with local gay men at a
tavern called "The Back Door" and even took the
opportunity to come clean about a number of other things, "I
have no idea what the Matrix sequels were about either, but I was
gay and happy during those years, and didn't really care. The rumor
about me marrying David Geffen was actually false, but I did give
him a handjob once, at the back of a Denny's restaurant parking lot.
It was more of a fling. Also, I'm not going to "out"
anybody myself, but needless to say there is one other member of our
'Speed' cast that is about as gay as a French horn, and I'm not
talking about Dennis Hopper! Sandy, you butch, come clean
already!"
The
ramifications of this major Hollywood "outing" and
marriage was already sending shockwaves through the industry. Jack
Nicholson noted how he thought Reeves was always acting a little
"fruity" on the set of their last film together
"Something's Gotta Give", but didn't pay it much attention
because he was too busy "putting the nail to Peet". Barbra
Streisand, long-time proponent of gay marriages, was elated by the
news and couldn't help but wish her confreres a joyous life
together, "While this most certainly will not help Keanu's
limited acting abilities, the fact that he sleeps next to another
man every night, makes me proud to be ugly and American."
Streisand, who lost most of her talent back in the early 60s,
followed that up with a Yiddish salute, "Mazeltov, gay men...mazeltov!"
No word on how the marriage will
affect Reeves' next film, "Constantine", in which he plays
an irreverent supernatural detective, but early word is that he will
likely be playing him a little more "effeminate" because
he understands how most audiences will not be able to deal with the
"whole gay thing". "Joe Blow in bumf*ck, Arkansas
isn't going to see past the fact that I am a man-lover when he sees
me on the big screen from now on, so why bother hiding it. Leonardo
DiCaprio has been swinging his dick that way for years, and it
doesn't seem to have slowed down his career. Scorsese calls him all
the time, all I ever get is Jan De-f*ckin Bont."
Reeves
also wanted to thank the "Internet" for helping him face
his biggest fears. "I remember reading a story on JoBlo.com a
year or so ago about how much my last two movies sucked, and wanted
to email the owner of the site to tell him how much he sucked as
well, but then I realized that it was all a big joke, just like his
site, his haircut and this story. That's the day that I decided to
let the world know that I enjoyed hugging other men."
Berge Garabedian, owner of said
property, wasn't available for comment, but did offer a press
statement which read simply: "I always knew that he was
gay...not that there's anything wrong with that."
--------------------------------
Ironically, we ran a similar story on the SAME DATE
last year. You can read that one right
here or the other similar story from the SAME DATE the year
before, right
here. Weird, eh? ;)
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