33 Genre Fest Reviews

Report and Reviews by Jakob Montrasio
[mysan.de]
Howdy stranger, it's Hauser. If things went wrong I am talking to myself now and you've got a wet towel wrapped around your head. Whatever your name is: Get ready for the big surprise! You are not you - You are me. Oh, wait, this ain't a good time to quote old Arnold movies - you wanna know who the hell I am! My name is Jakob. I am here to cover the Fantasy Filmfest for you. Why? Because JoBlo paid me. No, wait, that's a lie.
Actually, I did this because I love movies as much as my momma (you too, huh...or else you wouldn't be reading this) and I want to share this year's good and bad ones with you guys (if you are German, click here right now and you can read this coverage in German on my own page), so that you know if it's worth checking them out! I write the same shit in German, why not translate it into English and share it with way more people? And where is a better place than here on JoBlo.com?
But let's take some time and JoBlo's patience and let me tell you some history about the Fantasy Filmfest first... I live here in Frankfurt, which is one out of eight or nine cities where the Fantasy Filmfest is shown. A lot of magazines wrote (and thought that it would be funny as hell, but it isn't!) that the Fantasy Filmfest has grown up because it's the 18th time this year- and in Germany, when you turn 18, you are grown up and can get drunk, visit hoes, smoke weed (ah, no, wait, that was only in the Netherlands. Damn!) So anyway, the festival is almost as old as I am, that's what I wanted to say. It was founded in 1987 (5 years after me) by Rainer Stefan, who manages to get awesome movies for us fans every year with Rosebud Entertainment at festivals like Toronto, Sundance or AFM, Cannes and bring them to Germany. What else could be interesting for you guys... Hmmm... We pay like 7 Euro for a movie, and I got me a all-time ticket for 160 Euro - pretty fair, I will see about 35 movies with it. So I only paid about 4,50 Euro a movie! Sweet!
Now let's get on with the reviews... But let me say one more thing: I learned English for 3 years in school, and most of it afterwards by watching imported American DVDs. So please excuse my spelling mistakes. I learned English from the movies. Yeah, I know, I have to watch movies that contain more words then "harder", "deeper" and "not in my hair"... I'm gonna start doing that. Thanks.
Editor's Note: And THANK YOU, Jakob for this awesome coverage for our readers. Keep scrolling down, folks...there are over 30 reviews in all. Greatly appreciated!! -- JoBlo
Arahan - 8/10
Plot: A hot-blooded young cop and the Seven Masters of unmatched inner strength meet up in this urban martial arts extravaganza.
Review: Silly, but totally funny. This movie has one of the best first-scenes in a long time. Five martial arts masters (you know, really skilled dudes - they poke you and you die) sit around a table and talk what's wrong with training these days. "What's up with training in the mountains?" says one. "That's total crap! If you're hungry, you have to walk three hours to a village to get something to eat. And then walk three hours back. So at the end, you can only train for three hours a day!" They continue slapping every martial arts rule that has been set over years through martial arts movies... I was almost pissing myself laughing. And the movie gets even better! Some looser cop gets turned into a chi-monster and starts to train his skills. Then comes a bad dude and kills some of the masters and the looser cop has to fight against him. Great movie. Reminded me of Shaolin Soccer! If you like martial arts movies, you'll love this farce. Ch-ch-check it out! PALM BLAST!
The Big Empty - 7/10
Plot: John Person (Jon Favreau) is a 30-something struggling actor living alone and facing eviction from his unfurnished apartment in Hollywood. Behind on his rent and heavily in debt, he goes against the better judgment of his pretty neighbor Grace (Joey Lauren Adams) and accepts an unsolicited offer from his strange neighbor Neely (Bud Cort) to courier a blue suitcase up to the desert truck stop of Baker, California. There, in the middle of nowhere, at a seedy motel in the shadow of The World's Largest Thermometer, he'll simply deliver the locked suitcase to a trucker called Cowboy (Sean Bean) and be paid twenty-seven thousand dollars in cold, hard cash. John's given a loaded gun and told he must defend the blue suitcase with his life. It's easy money.
Review: Men in Black Jon Favreau style. I really enjoyed this one, the alien story is really funny and down to earth. The humor is good and funny, and Favreau as the main actor does the rest. The smaller characters like Daryl Hannah or Rachel Leigh Cook are also brilliant. There are some cool and unexpected twists in this movie, too. What I didn't like was the music, they could've put more into it. All in all, worth seeing at a theatre.
Cash Truck - 5/10
Plot: Vigilante, a small cash transportation company, is in crisis. Three of its armored trucks have been robbed in the last year. All three crews were ruthlessly slaughtered. The company is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy and its employees are on edge. Some even suggest the gang has a man working inside the company. So, times are hard when Alexandre Demarre turns up one morning at Vigilante's headquarters to start his first day with the company. Job seeker, cop, armed robber or something else entirely? Who is he and what does he want?
Review: Well, this movie is an ordinary French action-thriller, nothing special. It's nice that they focus more on the characters than the action, but sometimes it gets a little bit boring. The actors are good, so is the realism - kept pretty well. I wish this movie had more music, though, it's almost a little bit too sad with all the dark Locations where it was shot. Not worth seeing at a theatre, but it's good entertainment on a rented DVD or in television. Nothing groundbreaking, nothing not worth seeing - an average movie.
Control - 7/10
Plot: A tale about a strange young man, Bulcsú, his fellow inspectors, who are all without exception likeable characters, a rival ticket inspection team, and racing along the tracks... And a tale about love.
Review: The movie starts funny: The boss (yes, the real one!) of the Hungarian Metro company tells us, that he wanted director Antal to use his Metro to show his fable of good versus evil - and that his employees are not in the movie. I have never ever seen such a funny thing before a movie - standing ovations in the cinema afterwards. So anyway, the movie shows us a day in the life of Bulcsú and his team, five people who go from train to train controlling the tickets and making those pay, who don't have one. Bad thing is, that a serial killer is around who keeps pulling people in front of incoming trains at the stations. When Bulcsú first encounters this weirdo, he is shocked to death and can't move. But the second time it's another thing... Well, that was the story. Not really much, but done so well! The camera work, the music, the locations, this cool neon light... It reminded me constantly of a funnier version of Luc Besson's SUBWAY. And the girl in the teddy bear costume rocks! I you ever get the chance to see this stylish, cool movie, go and see it.
Creep - 7/10
This one was a world premiere! The new Franka Potente (The Bourne Supremacy) movie, straight from England to us! I don't know if it was the final cut that we saw, but it rocked. Since this was a world premiere I wrote a really long review and put it on my own page... just click here to read it.
Evil Words - 7/10
Plot: One day, for no apparent reason, a cop kills 11 children. The same day, horror novelist Thomas Roy tries to commit suicide after cutting his fingers. At first glance, nothing seems to link the two events – until Dr. Paul Lacasse, a disillusioned psychiatrist, takes over the case. Prompted by his colleague Jeanne, a fan of Thomas Roy, Dr. Lacasse investigates the writer's past. Hounded by a gossip columnist, Dr. Lacasse uncovers a series of troubling facts that bolster his convictions about the case. As he tries to reassemble the pieces of the puzzle in order to better treat the famous writer, Dr. Lacasse is dragged further and further into a series of events, with terrifying consequences.
Review: Who would have thought how big this movie would get before the finale? It starts really small, with a little case, and gets huge at the end! Awesome story. The acting was really good, too, the doctor is one hell of a psychiatrist. I really enjoyed this French movie, man, they have some good shit in this years Filmfest... This is like High Tension with occult stuff, you know? If you like movies like Exorcist or End Of Days you'll love this intelligent thriller here!
The Eye 2 - 6/10
Plot: The sequel to THE EYE, the worldwide horror sensation; THE EYE 2 has opened to massive business in Asia. Once again the Pang Brothers explore the troubled and complicated relationship between the spirit world and the living.
Review: A woman next to me reviewed this movie when it was over in one sentence: The first one was for men, this second one for us women. Yeah, she's right! This one had a lead that is pregnant so for women it must be really hard sitting through this. There were less scares than in the first one, but better ones. I was flying two meters high in one shocking scene, man! Damn, they got me good, and they got me often. This movie could've had another title, though, since there was no connection at all to the first part. The story is the same, though: This pregnant woman I was talking about needs 94 minutes to understand that it ain't bad to see ghosts and that it's more like a gift. If you liked the first one, rent this on DVD or something.
Ginger Snaps 2 - 2/10
Plot: The sequel to the successful Canadian feature film Ginger Snaps tells the story of Ginger's sister, Brigitte, who finds herself turning into a werewolf after having been attacked by her infected sister. Brigitte must take an antidote to prevent her beastly transformation, and this behaviour causes those around her to assume that she is using drugs, forcing her into a rehabilitation facility. Separated from her antidote, she begins to transform into a werewolf, drawing the attention of Ghost, one of the facility's inhabitants, as well as that of a mysterious male werewolf who stalks Brigitte at night.
Review: I had no fun watching this. There were way too many "Why's" in this movie. And it was boring sometimes, badly acted, bad lighting, bad mask and bad story. Sorry, not my thing. If you really love werewolf movies, maybe you'll like it... But I didn't. The story was just too weird and the characters too unbelievable.
The Good Cop - 6/10
Plot: The Cop Jens has a problem: His friends stole an container, and suddenly not only the Chinese, but also the Russian and some other gangs show up and want their stuff back. So Jens has to find the container and give everyone their shit back. But when he finally finds it, there are no drugs in it, but illegal immigrants!
Review: I was expecting a lot from this movie, since the director made In China They Eat Dogs (I have no idea what the English title was, hehehe) and Old Men In New Cars. Then the movie started, and we got to see an dogma-like action movie. Why the hell did he use DV and not normal cameras? I didn't get it. The lightning was really, really bad all the time. Yeah, there were some funny moments, and the action was okay, but I didn't like it half as much as Old Men In New Cars. There's not really something new in here... But you will be entertained well, so on DVD, it's worth renting.
The Green Butchers - 7/10
Plot: Unable to put up with their arrogant boss any longer, Svend and Bjarne go into business for themselves and set up their own butcher shop. Business is slow until Svend accidentally locks an electrician in the freezer overnight. He tries to cover up the death by grinding up the corpse, but finding himself short of meat is unexpectedly forced to sell the only stock he has in the shop. Almost immediately, the two entrepreneurs become the toast of the town. Riding high for the first time in his life, Svend is determined to keep things going despite Bjarne's resistance and soon people start disappearing.
Review: Funny movie, reminded me of "Delicatessen" from the French Alien: Resurrection director. Really dark, really weird, really funny talking. Okay, one example: An old lady asks a butcher how he gets the sausages done so well and he replies: "Well, I was always fascinated by them. What's more ironic than to put an animal into his asshole?"... And talking like that for 95 minutes... Fun. Go and see it with friends, if you like black comedy like Very Bad Things. If you didn't laugh at least once, you must be dead - let someone kick against your leg!
Haute Tension - 9/10
Plot: Lesbian crushes, crazed killers, industrial power tools and buckets of gore all await you in this sick and slick French horror hit.
Review: I guess The Arrow would love this one. There's some sweet splatter in it, but most important: ITS DAMN SCARY!!! I was pushed in my seat for one and a half hour like never before. And for the first time in my whole life, I saw an horror movie that was realistic, where the actors didn't run into the basement trying to hide from a killer and where they actually did something not to get killed. Finally! An intelligent, well acted horror movie with an believable story that could happen to anyone of us. Wow. If I tell more, I will steal the suspense. You're into horror? You must add this to your DVD collection asap. One of the best, if not the best horror movie, that I saw in years!
Immortel ad vitam - 8/10
Plot: Beginning of the twenty-third century. Somewhere in the three levels of NYC, there's a woman with blue hair, who cries blue tears. Her name is Jill Bioskop. She doesn't know it yet, but Horus the falcon-headed god has cruised half the universe to meet her. Horus has been sentenced to death by his peers. He has just seven days to live. Seven days to find Jill in the maze of the city and seduce her. But to do so, he needs to possess a human body. A vehicle of flesh. It will be Alcide Nikopol, a political prisoner who was cryogenised thirty years before because he knew too much about the New York Apartheid.
Review: Whoa, the cinema was full when this movie started, I mean so full, that they had to install additional seats. The thing was that twenty people, including me, had an all-time card, and I guess they sold more tickets than available seats because all all-time card people went into this one. And it was worth it! Imagine The Fifth Element on drugs. This movie has so unbelievable many ideas and thoughts of the future, it was a blast! Nikopol, played by Thomas Kretschmann, the bad guy from Blade 2, reminded me with his cool accent of Arnold. The effects were awesome, only some of the 3D characters could've been modeled better. It was really courageous to mix real actors with 3D characters in such a way... Like half of the characters that we see more than one time were done completely in 3D! Unbelievable. But this way, director Bilal had the chance to make a really colorful New York City in the year 2095. And hey, some ideas were "copied" from The Fifth Element, sure, but they were changed so that they seemed realistic! The flying cars, for instance, made much more sense here. Well, see it for yourself. But be sure to check it out on the biggest screen in your area. This movie was made for the cinema. And it rocks!
Infernal Affairs 2 - 8/10
Plot: Serving to set a solid footing for the characters introduced in the first film, Infernal Affairs II starts in 1991 when young Ming (Edison Chen in the role later played by Andy Lau) kills the head of the Ngai family. The murder sets in motion tension that could escalate into a gang war and a power struggle, and relative Ngai Wing-hau (Francis Ng) steps into the top slot in the family and rallies those under him. Police headed by officers Wong (Anthony Wong) and Luk (Hu Jun) meanwhile keep and eye on the situation with moles planted in the crime family, most notably Yan (Shawn Yue in the character Tony Leung Chiu-wai later held).
Review: I never saw the first part, but everyone that saw both said that this one is way better then the first one. Okay. It's like The Godfather meets Hong Kong. There are a lot of characters, a lot of stories and not one second that is uninteresting. And there are so many incredible cool twists, it's all about them. Who is the intelligent one, who gets to live? Who is a cop, who a mole? An unbelievable good setup of the story. Everybody is gonna like this movie. Because everybody seems to like The Godfather!
Kaena The Prophecy - 6/10
Plot: A mesmerizing fantasy adventure set on a planet whose life force, a gigantic coiling tree called Axis, is mysteriously drying up. Kaena (Kirsten Dunst), a spirited young woman, defies her tribe's superstitions, leaving home to discover what is threatening her people's way of life. France's first 3D CGI feature is visually stunning and also features the vocal talents of Richard Harris, Angelica Huston and Keith David.
Review: If the story wouldn't have been told in such a weird way, this movie would've been much more fun. The graphics are great, alright, but the (sweet) voice of Kirsten Dunst doesn't fit the character at all. Kaena is an wild, dynamic Adventurer and would've deserved an rougher voice. There's tense sometimes, the roboworms make you laugh when they are on screen, but that's about it. I'd say this movie is on the same level as FINAL FANTASY - weirdo story, but awesome worked out scenes. But this movie works only on the big screen, so if you're into 3D and mystic alien shit you should see it in a theatre.
Koma - 7/10
Plot: Two people get married. But the secret lover-girlfriend of the groom is jealous and takes out the kidney of one of the guest. So it seems, at least. When caught by the police, she says she didn't do it and that somebody else did it... Is she lying or not?
Review: Two brilliant female actors are in this movie, and they do more then just carrying the movie. It's once again an typical Asian movie with beautiful scenes and camerawork. The few shock scenes are damn shocking, they happen totally unexpected most of the time. I also noticed that the dialogue were way above normal, they were good and realistic. The best kidney-rob story was Sympathy For Mister Vengeance, but this one is also good. Yeah, it's a cool story with an even cooler twist at the end. Definitely worth seeing.
The Last Horror Movie - 9/10
Plot: The Last Horror Movie begins as a pedestrian post- Scream slasher film, and then a moment or two into the movie, the image breaks up and we are suddenly introduced to Max (Kevin Howarth), who addresses the camera directly. Max is a charming and handsome serial killer, who has decided to videotape his crimes over the interrupted copy of the horror film in question so as to provide a more authentically horrific experience for the viewer.
Review: When the first images on the screen appeared I thought "Oh no! Not another DV-looking movie!". But as the movie went along I started loving it. So this maniac named Max starts talking to us and tell us that he's sick and he kills people and blah blah. But then the real shit starts: He asks us, if we aren't the sick ones cause we are watching him. Does that make us sick? Then there is a sequence where the movie tests the viewer - while this scene was going on, some people left the cinema - we see this freak, after killing about 20 people, walking to a child outside a school and telling him that his mother said to pick him up - and the child follows! I thought in that moment, oh hell no, if this really happens I'm outta here. But then we see that the child is from this killers sister and he's really supposed to pick him up... That's just evil, man, totally evil. So the movie does a really good job both entertaining and scaring us sick horror-addicted movie nerds. Yeah, this is a movie for people like me, that buy an one week 35 movie ticket and have fun at that festival... An nice finale for the Fantasy Filmfest!
LD 50 - 3/10
Plot: A free-spirited group of young animal rights activists break into an animal research facility in order to get video footage of grisly experiments for their LD-50 website. When Gary, their cocky leader, walks into an office, his leg gets caught in a steel trap. The others hear the sound of approaching police sirens. They panic and flee the building, leaving Gary behind. Troubled by an unspoken, collective guilt, they disband. One year later, Gary sends a mysterious, encoded cry for help to his brother Danny, who reassembles the group for a rescue mission. They break into an abandoned lab on a remote island. But what should have been a simple raid, turns into a series of twisted and mind bending incidents where the free and the caged switch places.
Review: The second movie after Octane from "Four Horsemen". They must have horsebrain, too, why the hell do they make so baaad stories? Octane in this one are technically perfect, have an awesome style but both are boring and stupid! Let take the so called "decryption" scene. There's a new message in the forum from this animal-rights group, okay? So the nerdy one takes the message and turns it into a location map to find that Gary dude. Are you fucking kidding me? Can you please, please explain how you did that? They must think that the viewers are as drugged as the actors are all the time. I'll never watch a four Horsemen movie again, no sir, no. You had two chances, and both were more then bad. One thing was alright, though: the music. But it's about the movie, right?
The Legend Of The Evil Lake - 7/10
Plot: Prelude, set in 57 B.C. at the end of the "tribal age of darkness," shows Shilla founder Park Hyokkose wiping out the Moon Tribe and imprisoning the spirit of its leader, Auta, in the earth with a magic sword. Flash-forward almost a thousand years, to A.D. 896, and the Shilla, under Queen Chinsong, are in deep trouble, with rebels everywhere. The queen's loyal general, Biharang, holds back popular unrest, though he privately thinks the monarchy should be abolished. Also, to the disappointment of the queen (who loves him) and another general, Bang (who mistrusts him), Biharang has fallen for a cute peasant girl, Jaunbi, whose dad was executed for sympathizing with the rebels. When Bang tries to murder Jaunbi, she draws the magic sword out of the ground unleashing Auta's angry spirit. Possessed by Auta's demon, Jaunbi flies around wreaking Havoc.
Review: The story sounds complicated, but it isn't. Some dude gets slaughtered, all the hate flows into a sea where he is killed, some centuries later a woman falls into it and is on tilt mode because the queen wanted to kill her. Yeah, it's epic like Tiger and Dragon, beautiful shots of Korea, some cool SFX shots, nice, epic score, but also a lot of wire fu that you can see in fight scenes. Why do the Asians have so cool legends and we don't? Too bad. Anyway, the choreography was alright, but the massive slaughter scenes were too short, but at least they had nice gore in it. I can recommend this one to people who love flying-around movies like T&D. Either you love Asian movies in that style or not. I do.
The Locals - 4/10
Plot: Grant and Paul hit the road for a weekend of surfing, booze and hopefully... girls. With night falling they take a short cut and meet Lisa and Kelly who invite them to a party. Lust takes the wheel and a game of cat and mouse begins leading them deep into the heartland of evil where they meet... The Locals .
Review: The story is pretty cool: Groundhog Day with Undead. But not zombies, just undead people that act normally. But it wasn't done very well, and I was wondering most of the time what the hell was going on and why do two friends ALWAYS split up when chased by some people? This movie is done by already set rules and doesn't manage to break through them. So at the end, it's a boring "horror" movie (if you really wanna call it that) that could've been so much more. Don't blame the budget, though, blame the weird story.
The Machinist - 8/10
Plot: Trevor Reznik, a machinist, has lost the ability to sleep. But this is no ordinary insomnia. Trevor has not slept in a year. Fatigue has led to a shocking deterioration of his physical and mental health. Suspicious of his appearance, Trevor's co-workers first shy away from him, then turn against him after he's involved in a shop accident that costs a man his arm. They blame Trevor for the accident. He has become a liability to himself and others, and now they want him out.
Review: Christian Bale lost 30 kilograms, 30! for this role. The man is so damn skin, I have never seen such a thin person act so good. It's unbelievable. I saw him like 4 weeks ago in Equilibrium (for the seventh time or something, Equilibrium roxx!), and compared to his body there... It's shocking. Sure, this movie is carried by Bale and his body alone, but it has a clever story with some interesting twists. The characters are all really interesting and deep, if you want to say so. First I thought why the hell would he lose 30 kg for this, but at the moment he says that he hasn't slept for a year... You'll understand. Great thriller, see it!
Madame Edouard - 6/10
Plot: The corpses of several young women are found in Brussels, buried behind the graves of famous painters? The right forearm of each corpse is missing. Bringing together the threads, Chief Inspector Léon, who has a secret passion for knitting, slowly unravels this strange case. At the centre of the story, we find Madame Edouard, the housewife transvestite at the "A La Mort Subite" bar where we meet a whole range of colourful people. All these comical and humane characters live in a baroque and slightly crazy world tinged with black humour, rooted in the off-key reality of Belgium.
Review: This was not really my kind of movie, but it managed to get me laughing over twenty times anyway. The comical, droll characters are really, really funny. There are some good running gags, too. What's wonderful is that they didn't put any cheap horror scenes or "fart" jokes in it. This movie is perfect for a fun video home evening, but not really worth seeing at a theatre. But hey, I'm not sure if it was only me, all my friends found it awesome. You'll have to find out for yourself...
Mayhem - Suspended Animation - 1/10
Plot: The director of Disney's The Lion King (no shit! really! but not the real one) is with friends on a snowmobile trip, when he gets left behind, seeks help from some hilliebilly women and gets tortured (actually, he only loses one finger. Wow...). He manages to escape, but wants to get over it and has to find out more about those two crazy sisters to get that done. They have family, so he gets in danger...
Review: I have no idea what genre this movie was - Thriller? Horror? Maybe even comedy? The acting was so bad, the story so unrealistic and weird, the twists in the plot just stupid and boring... I am not going to write a long review on this movie, it's not worth it. Just don't see it! It's more fun investing money in painkillers... Or watching some trees grow.
Memories Of Murder - 8/10
Plot: Memories of Murder is based on the real spate of unsolved serial murders of young women that took place in a rural village in Gyeong-gi province in 1986.
Review: Jesus, this is a hard one. Either you love slow suspense movies or not. I do, so I enjoyed this crime thriller very much, I haven't seen such a good one in years! We get introduced to three really different cops, that have to stick together to solve the first case of mass murder in Korea. There is no internet, no mobile phones... so investigating takes time, driving around and lots of work. Since the killer leaves no real hints behind, they have to concentrate on little details... Like weather... music... I won't tell more, the story is way to complex. But let me say this: You are not going to take a break while watching this movie until the end. It's really, really scary and takes you on a long ride. The acting, which is most important in such a genre, is fabulous, so is the rest, like the beautiful locations (if we wouldn't see dead people sometimes this could be a Korea vacation video!), a perfect, decent score and well done chase scenes. See it!
Mucha Sangre - 4/10
Plot: Somewhere in Spain: two criminals on the run have taken a female hostage in order to extort money from a Ganglord. But by their surprise they have to find out, that he's the leader of a bunch of Zombies from outer Space. The Alien-Zombies got the plan to rape all Spanish men and kidnapping young girls to eat them. Now our gang of anti heroes tries to stop the invaders.... in a very special way.
Review: Once again, I think the Arrow would have much fun with this one. It's an all mad, fun splatter gore movie. And that they didn't take themselves seriously really takes the edge off. So why only 4 points? If I would give it anymore, it would be silly. This is a movie for people who love Undead and Braindead. I mean, there's a money shot in this movie, but no sex scene before. Now imagine, how is that possible? Yes, something has to explode! OUCH! Good, old school splatter fun with Paul Nachy. Take it or leave it. Oh, and Spanish cops seem to like shit, hehehehe...
Octane - 2/10
Plot: The second movie by Marcus Adams is a stylish exercise in nihilistic bloodsucking along the lines of NEAR DARK and LOST BOYS. At times this road movie to the end of the night resembles a photo spread of recently deceased style-bible The Face - so rest assured that the bloodletting always looks ace - and sounds great as well, thanks to the score by techno-wizards The Orbital.
Review: Lord have mercy with those stylish sinners. This movie is so superstyled that they must have forgotten the story. Madeleine Stowe (looking nice in those tight pants, though) drives almost the entire movie on some highway chasing her "kidnapped" daughter. The "kidnappers" are vampires though. But there is only one vampire-teeth shot. And there is one, yes, one action scene in the whole movie. What the hell? If you make a vampire movie, you make it like BLADE, or Carpenters VAMPIRES, or something else! Just how the fuck do you manage to get such a great cast, such an awesome camerawork and such beautiful music and forget about frightening moments? It's SAD. SAD, SAD SAD!!! This movie could've been an awesome, BLADE-like vampire movie but all you get to see is beautiful shots. That's it. I would give this movie only one point if it hadn't such a nice style... Too bad.
Old Boy - 10/10
Plot: This twisted tale of a man who finds himself imprisoned for 15 years without any explanation pulled together critical and commercial success in South Korea. In Germany the director is known for JSA and SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE, shown at last year's Fantasy Filmfest.
Review: This is one of the Top 3 of the festival. I'll say nothing more to the story, or I will steal the suspense. This movie was... perfect. Perfect story, perfect camera, perfect acting, perfect fight choreography, perfect music, perfect emotions... just perfect. While Sympathy had a lot of twists in the movie, this one has one BIG one at the end... You'll leave the cinema in no good mood, though! A total must see. In cinema, on DVD, TV, whatever. Just watch it, you don't get to see such masterpieces all the time.
One Missed Call - 8/10
Plot: Shibasaki, who played the sadistic bitch-on-wheels in Battle Royale , here plays the nice-but-disturbed Yumi Nakamura, who has some kind of phobia linked with peepholes. At a restaurant, her friend, Yoko, gets a call with a strange ringing tone. The cell phone display tells Yoko the call came from her own number, dated three days hence; it contains just a spooky scream. Exactly 72 hours later, Yoko gets the same call and plunges off a railway bridge. Yumi finds out from some schoolgirls that one of their group also died the same way, and that the deadly call is said to come from "a woman who died, full of hate." When another friend, Kenji, is sucked into an elevator shaft, and one more, Natsumi (Kazue Fukiishi), gets the same advance call, Yumi starts to be concerned. It seems the dead woman's spirit transfers itself from victim to victim through their cells' phonebooks.
Review: Yap, sounds like The Ring, but I found it way better. Not only is One Missed Call scary, but Miike finally made a movie that can be seen by the masses. In One Missed Call, there's no rape scenes, no woman that spread their breast-milk around, no weird births. Thank you, Takashi! The story is really cool, the idea that you get an call from yourself three days in hence is also frightening since anyone with a mobile phone can identify with that. I loved the live TV show, man, that was plain and simple a genius sequence. Really, I have to say it one more time, this movie is directed by Miike but it is a normal horror film for anyone who loves to get the shit scared outta himself. The actress is wonderful, so is the showdown which endured about... 45 minutes. Yeah, long! And so scary, I am going to destroy my mobile phone now...
One Point O - 7/10
Plot: Jeremy Sisto ( Six Feet Under ) is Simon, a paranoid computer programmer who isolates himself in his apartment. One day, he receives a mysterious and totally empty package -- and they keep coming. Who is behind these packages and what do they mean? Is it his delivery man (Eugene Byrd), who shows up regularly to feed Simon's milk habit? Could it be his sexy neighbor, nurse Trish (Deborah Kara Unger)? The S&M-obsessed filmmaker (Bruce Payne)? Or the always creepy Udo Kier and Lance Henriksen? As the expression goes, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.
Review: One Point O reminded me sometimes of The Matrix, and I mean that in a good way. The location in which the movie takes place is awesome, a big scary house with lots of apartments like in The Toolbox Murders or Avalon. Beautiful. And the music was incredible, they took this really cool sample from The Fifth Element, it's so sweet, you gotta love it. The actors are also incredible, I liked even Udo Kier this time. There are some nice twists, and some nice updates, hehehe, and there's Deborah Kara Unger. Well, not naked, but there, and she's beautiful. Well, if you like mind-fucking movies Matrix or Avalon style, this one is made for you!
Saw - 8/10
Review: Ah, just read Arrow's review. He's totally right. What else is there to say...
Seven Times Lucky - 9/10
Plot: Harlan the aging, small-time grifter, and Fiona, the beautiful, ambitious student, both of them shilling for chicken feed while dreaming of the larger score. When they finally get their big chance, all bets are off in a game of wits and outwits that leaves Harlan's life in deeper and deeper shambles. Living in his father's shattered shadow and going on tilt for the girl only make matters worse.
Review: How the fuck did this movie get an 3.0 rating on IMDb.com? It was one of the best, smoothest gangster movies I've seen in a long time! Yes, it is totally old school, but there are so many awesome twists in this movie, it's really fun watching it! The movie takes place at Christmas, which is a cool setting with all the Christmas jingles and shit. But the jazz score of the movie itself is wonderful, too. Kevin Pollack is the man, he fits this role like George Clooney in Ocean's Eleven. And the showdown is as awesome as the Oceans Eleven one... If you liked Oceans Eleven (I think comparing this one to it makes sense, yes) and you wanna see where OE got the roots, watch this. Yeah it's newer, but the style is so cool.
Spy Bound - 4/10
Plot: In order to neutralize an international smuggling network, France's intelligence services dispatch two agents, Captain Brisseau (V. Cassel) and Nadege (M. Bellucci), to Lebanon to blow up a ship carrying arms. The mission takes place without a hitch, but on the return journey Nadege is arrested at the Swiss border. The real operation is under way... A realistic and spectacular film that raises the question: when money and power are involved, who can you trust?
Review: Imagine Mission: Impossible without the cool Ethan Hunt character, the cool story and on slow motion mode. Then you have Spy Bound. I mean, sorry, when a director needs one hour to show a mission where some people bomb a boat, there's really something wrong. Not only is that mission boring as hell, but why does one guy find those spies, that have well-done fake IDs, in the middle of Morocco? There are so many obvious movie errors in Spy Bound that it's really not funny anymore. Once again, a dream cast is wasted on a bad, boring and simple uninteresting story. Tragic.
Sword In The Moon - 7/10
Plot: There were two warriors, bound by vows stronger than life to save the oppressed and to make the world a better place. Confused times sets irrevocable scars on their fate. After that fateful day when one thrust the sword into the other's breast. Once friends now foes one a ninja the other an officer must aim at each other again. In days of blood and strife, the world only wants one hero...
Review: I could just say "read the review from The Legend Of The Evil Lake"... But that would be cheap, huh? Well, this one is a swordsplay movie too, but has less special effects. In fact, I guess the only special effects that this one had were the I-don't-know-how-many head removing sequences where the head's rollin'! But I liked this one more. The emotions in this movie reminded me of old John Woo movies like Hard Boiled. Yeah, this one is Hard Boiled with swords! I'm gonna copy and paste this: Either you love Asian movies in that style or not. I do.
Trespassing - 6/10
Plot: James Merendino, known für a couple of decent indie dramas, can do no wrong in this bloody and highly intelligent trip to a decrepit cabin in the Louisiana swamps that was the site of grizzly killing 20 years prior. Standing all stereotypes of the genre on its head TRESPASSING manages to dazzle with its relentless pace and clever storytelling as well as fascinate with its matter-of-fact-style and dreamy imagery.
Review: I had absolutely no idea what this movie was when I went in... The poster in the Fantasy Filmfest paper looked like some monster-horror movie, but it was more like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's this guy who is making a documentary about myths for university or something and so they travel to an old house, where twenty years ago some weirdo burnt his mother alive and killed his father and is now a myth. But before they actually get there, after half an hour of the movie or something, there's unbelievable much talking... And to be honest, it wasn't important, I don't even remember what it was. Anyway, when the killing of the five students starts, it's gonna get really, and I mean really scary. You don't see the killer but you hear him all the time. The sound effects were one of the most important thing in this movie and were done perfectly well. If movies like TCM are your thing, you shouldn't miss this one here!
Short Movies
Plot: Too many. I'll just rate every single one with a score.
13 Days Out: 4/10 - Tramper: 8/10 - Man In The Cupboard: 7/10 - Destino (Disney): 6/10 - Indecision: 9/10 - Im Dunkeln: 6/10 - Terra: 10/10 - The Last Attack Of The Beast: 9/10 - I'll See You In My Dreams: 5/10 - Kitty: 8/10 - Gravedigger's Striptease: 7/10
CONCLUSION
Well, that's it! This years Fantasy Filmfest was awesome, way better than last year's, and I am already looking forward to next year's. I hope you liked my reviews and that you match my points and that I helped you seeing and avoiding some nice/bad movies.
I love feedback. So if you liked my report and reviews, send me an email! It makes me happy: yakobusan@mysan.de.
Thanks for reading and thanks to JoBlo.com for running this! See you next year...
Source: My Stuff and News


































































































































