Closer review & pics

No joke, but I think it's actually quite pathetic that CLOSER director Mike Nichols decided to cast actress Natalie Portman as a stripper in his dark movie about real-life adults, feature her actually stripping in the film...but then CUT AWAY from any real nude shots. Wow...you guys are really down with your "art", eh? Booooo! I know most people will think that I'm boo'ing the man's actions because I wanted to see Portman's Ts, but that actually has little to do with my rant. Little things take me "out" of movies sometimes, especially when it comes to sexuality and this move is a stinker right up there with Kate Beckinsale keeping her shirt on when making out with another topless chick in LAUREL CANYON. Hopefully I'm wrong and the "cut aways" won't affect my viewing (and the realistic tone...) of the film, but next time, Mike...how about you cast an actress who you see less like your "daughter" and more like...uuuuhmm, yeah...the CHARACTER in the movie! Thumbs down.

That said, 'Tim Jones' saw an early version of the film and seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. Check out his review below. We've also added some pics from the movie to the site, so check those out as well.

An obituary writer named Dan (Law) meets a young stripper from NY, named Alice (Portman) and the two immediately hit it off. A year later, while Dan is getting his picture taken he falls in love with his photographer, Anna (Roberts). After he is rejected by Anna, Dan accidentally sets her up with Larry and the two (kind of) fall in love. Time keeps skipping around in a confusing way, and leads up to the big question: Who will end up with who?

Despite my description of the plot, this is a damn good movie. I haven't seen The Graduate and I thought that Angels in America was a little on the pretentious side, so I really didn't know what to expect. (I did really like the Birdcage though, but I forgot that was done by him until now.) I was very pleasantly surprised to see such a dramatic, yet comedic piece, with great performances and a very daring script. Finally, a movie with the cojones to get as graphic as it wants to be with the sex talk. I'll admit that sometimes they go a little overboard, but as a whole it really plays well in the rest of the film.

On the other hand, Jude Law's character began to annoy me after a little while. I mean, MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND! Julia Roberts did her usual thing as a moody bitch, Natalie was great (and damn hot), but my personal favorite was Clive. The man was pissed! Hey Hollywood/Indiana Sev, I've found your new bad boy! Now there's a man's man for ya! He ain't taking no sh*t from nobody! ...You get the idea. But seriously, let's see some more of him. He kicked ass in those BMW short films and Bourne Identity, and we saw way too many closeups of his eyes in King Arthur. (The guy can really stare!)

The T&A Factor: What the hell Mike? I have not lived for fifteen years to see Ms. Portman's back! I mean the guy feels free to throw in as much sex talk in the script as he likes, but do we get a frame of Natalie's Portmans? NO! I mean sure the strip club scenes were nice, but... I'm disappointed in you Mikey, I'm disappointed. That said, he did a great job with the direction as a whole.

Anyway, although this is probably gonna fail at the box-office, you really should see it, even if it's just for Natalie's ass in a thong. This might even make me forgive Jude Law for that joke of a film that was Alfie. 8/10

Source: JoBlo.com