June 7, 2005
SAW 2 PRODUCTION
JOURNAL
VOLUME #5
NOTE: You can now e-mail Producer Gregg Hoffman with your
feedback directly by
clicking on his name in the top right of this box!
Sorry for the delay in getting this
installment of the production report out. The rigors of
overseeing three movies kind of overwhelmed me for a week or so,
but I’m back in action again.
Let me start by updating you on the news
for which I’m sure you’ve all been waiting. Hell has frozen over
and the Cubs have won the Series! Darren Bousman has finally
become a man! Yes, fans, Bousman finally defied the odds by
meeting, charming, and actually sleeping with a woman…that’s
right I said “woman,” not “girl.” I have to tell you that my
boy has outdone himself. “Twinkle,” as her code name will now
be, is waayyy to good for him. Pretty, smart, charming… hell,
if I were single, I’d try to steal her myself. I caught Darren
celebrating his good luck several days ago and thought I’d share
the moment with you (see photo below).
Beyond that bit of news, we wrapped
production on the film June 6th, on time and on
budget. I’ve seen a ton of assembled footage and can safely say
that I don’t think we’re going to disappoint the fans. You also
don’t need to worry about us wimping out and going for a PG-13;
we actually have NO idea how we’re going to get some things past
the Ratings Board and get an R!
I don’t know if you are all aware, but John
Fallon – better known as our pal The Arrow, was cast in the
movie in the small but critical role of “SWAT Tech Team Member
#2” and spent about three days with us shooting the film. He
worked in very close proximity to Dina Meyer and I noticed quite
a bit of friendly banter going on between the two of them. The
man’s got some moves with the ladies!!!! While I was hoping to
take in some of Toronto’s nightlife with Fallon,
unfortunately, we were working some pretty late nights. While I
had hoped to take Fallon to see some Canadian folk dancing
(which apparently is performed in one’s lap by a naked woman),
it sadly was not to be.
I can also safely state that Arrow’s
performance was given very high marks by many people on the set,
myself included. As a general rule, what tends to happen with
day players (those actors who fill the smaller roles in the film
and have only a line or two) is that they come on set and try to
win an Oscar in the short time they’re with the production. If
you’re old enough to recall the classic character “Master
Thespian” that Jon Lovitz created on Saturday Night Live, you’ll
get the idea. But my man Arrow came in and did something
unthinkable – he just turned and said the line. Fallon, any
time I’m shooting in Canada and need a bald-headed bad-ass to
play a role, you’re my man.
Arrow and Producer Gregg Hoffman on set
Just to give you guys some sort of idea of
how fast we’re having to move to in order to deliver SAW 2 to
theaters by October 27th, the picture needs to be in
its locked and final shape by July 16th. Most movies
take at least 10 weeks to edit, so we’re doing everything twice
as fast as usual. Sound and music takes over in July, and we
finish everything by September 9th. Of course, while
this is going on, CATACOMBS, which we shot earlier in the year,
is finishing up its sound mix and we’ll be supervising the
shooting of James Wan’s next film, SILENCE! Nothing like
completely over-extending yourself to keep life interesting.
This is the final “official” diary for SAW
2, although I’ve had so much fun writing it and hearing feedback
from you sick bastards, that I’ll keeping dropping brief reports
every now and again, updating you on SAW 2 and giving you bits
and pieces from the set of SILENCE.
And
now a word from SAW 2 Director DARREN BOUSMAN on Gregg Hoffman's
extensive Journals:
It's a wrap!
Alright, so I didn’t close with the
Hungarian strippers - lets chalk it up as a language barrier and
not my inability to close with female species… I can close just
fine… Just ask anyone… well, anyone besides the producers, or
the cast, or the crew… or my friends or, er… um… well… Ok, lets
change the subject, okay!!!!
As entertaining as my sex life is, or lack
there of, there are more interesting things to talk about… Like
producer extraordinaire Gregg Hoffman. In the past seven
months I have come to know Gregg well, and since he is a humble
man, I have decided to reveal the man behind the myth. WHO IS
GREGG HOFFMAN????
Gregg Hoffman as we all know is one of the
producers of SAW, and the soon to be released SAW II. Recently
he has blessed us with his hilarious blogs sharing ‘crazy
antics’ that has taken place on and off set; mainly my failed
exploits with the opposite sex. Since we have now wrapped
production, I thought it fitting that I shine a little bit of
light on some of Hoffman’s exploits that he so forgetfully left
off his blog entries.
Such as…
One dark and stormy night, I was summoned
to Hoffman’s hotel suite, I say suite and not room, because
Hoffman’s suite was the most mammoth, large, and obnoxious space
I have ever laid eyes on. So I take my script and jump on the
elevator and travel up some 27 floors, and am greeted by an
anxious and very nervous Hoffman. “We have a problem Bousman…”
he mutters. Sweat inches down his face mixed with a look of
horrific concern. I will point out the fact he said “WE have
a problem” and not I, or YOU have a problem, hence the problem
was a mutually shared concern. After what seemed like hours of
prodding, Hoffman opened up, and explained to me that he had
clogged the toilet in the master bathroom, and it was a horrific
site. Being the kind of person I am, I offered my man some
sound advice…
“Call housekeeping… They’ll fix it!” A
look of utter shock passed his face… The mere mention of calling
housekeeping frightened him.
“CALL HOUSEKEEPING!!!?? ARE YOU SERIOUS????
NO WAY can they know that came out of me!!!”
What makes this story even more
entertaining to me was the fact that he was having a meeting in
about an hour with our genius DP David Armstong and a couple
members of the production team, thus leaving no toilet or
bathroom accessible for his guests…
When you spend as much time on set with
someone as I have with Gregg, you learn to read them, their
movements (bowel included), their expression, and even their
clothes. I can judge how the day will go by observing Hoffman
for mere seconds. It is a finely honed scientific skill we on
set have come to call the ‘DEFCON system’. For those of you
fortunate to work with Gregg, I will briefly describe how the
‘level system’ works.
LEVEL ONE: Level one is in effect when
Hoffman is no where to be seen. If you are about to pull off
the first shot and Hoffman is not around, that usually means he
is not concerned I will fuck it up - and is feeling comfortable
about the day.
LEVEL TWO: Level two is usually where you
want Hoffman. Level two usually consists of Hoffman sitting at
video village either napping, talking on his cell-phone or
talking to the actors. He usually will enter level two if we
are a couple shots behind, or their has been a snag somewhere in
the day.
LEVEL THREE: When Hoffman enters level
three, you better step up your game. Level three consists of
Hoffman pacing around the set, nervously watching the rehearsals
with the actors. And interjecting the occasional comment. DO
NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WHEN HOFFMAN ENTERS LEVEL THREE… He is on
the verge of snapping at this point, so it’s important not to
give him that in!!! Usually level three comes with it’s own
series of facial contortions. Furrowed brow, rubbing of the
temples, and pacing in small confined circle and the occasional
“…fucking Bousman”.
LEVEL FOUR: RUN!!! When Hoffman enters
level four everyone will feel the wrath! Luckily, I very rarely
saw a full blown level four, but when I did, it sent chills of
terror down my spine. DEFCON Four consists continuous cussing,
red flustered face, idle threats, and small surges of contained
rage. Luckily for us, there are signs a level four is about to
commence. Usually it’s preempted by DAN HEFFNER (line
producer) turning red, walking off set and taking out his
cell-phone. THIS IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN. If Dan’s cell phone
appears during production, it means he’s calling Gregg. If he
is calling Gregg, he is telling him I am fucking up… If I am
fucking up that means I am wasting Hoffman’s money… If I am
wasting Hoffman’s money… well, you know the rest!
Oh yes, the joys of working on the SAW II
set!!! While I can’t walk away from the experience saying I
closed with the Hungarian strippers, I can walk away with an
arsenal of BLACK-MAIL material on my favorite producer!!! Gregg
Hoffman!!!!
NOTE: Stay tuned for The Arrow's own SAW 2 on set journals
chronicling his experience on the set as an "actor" and we use
that term loosely.
Thanks you to Gregg Hoffman for sharing his thoughts with us and
Darren Bousman for dropping by.
READ
PART 4 OF THE SAW 2 CHRONICLES HERE
READ
PART 3 OF THE SAW 2 CHRONICLES HERE
READ
PART 2 OF THE SAW 2 CHRONICLES HERE
READ
PART 1 OF THE SAW 2 CHRONICLES HERE
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