Biel is Pocahontas

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by: Omar Aviles Jan. 25, 2008

As part of their "Dream Portrait Series", Disney asked a select group of hotties (and Whoopi Goldberg) to indulge a few hetero male fantasies by dressing up as some of their signature characters. The most boner-inducing of all is most certainly the below-pictured Jessica Biel as the exotic native Pocahontas. Clicking through you'll see Rachel Weisz as Snow White, Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella and Jennifer Lopez as Jasmine (unfortunately alongside her undead husband).

Jessica Biel as Pocahontas

Source: Disney

Extra Tidbit: When is Biel gonna do a Nude Portrait Series, dammit?!

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brentage5000
9:09AM on 01/26/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
You got that right DFD....I'd suggest Amy Adams, but she's already been Giselle, so I don't think that would work. Maybe Nora Zehtner? Or heck, maybe Hayden could do it, if she's willing to dye her hair red for a little bit. After all, it's not like Heroes is taking up her time at the moment...
You got that right DFD....I'd suggest Amy Adams, but she's already been Giselle, so I don't think that would work. Maybe Nora Zehtner? Or heck, maybe Hayden could do it, if she's willing to dye her hair red for a little bit. After all, it's not like Heroes is taking up her time at the moment...
 
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SeymourClearly
8:46AM on 01/26/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
AHA!
Scarlett Johnasson as Rackarella! Excellent! What the heck is Whoopi Goldberg doing amongst all these hot ladies? Just plain creepy!!! Rachel Weisz is just amazing!!!
Scarlett Johnasson as Rackarella! Excellent! What the heck is Whoopi Goldberg doing amongst all these hot ladies? Just plain creepy!!! Rachel Weisz is just amazing!!!
 
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StarDestroyer
3:42AM on 01/26/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
ha
Wow, that just bad casting all around on Alice in Wonderland. Beyonce, Lyle Lovett, and Oliver Platt, I hope that project never happens. And Whoopi Goldberg as a Genie, what the hell?!

Johansson and Weisz are the only ones I see actually fitting that part.
Wow, that just bad casting all around on Alice in Wonderland. Beyonce, Lyle Lovett, and Oliver Platt, I hope that project never happens. And Whoopi Goldberg as a Genie, what the hell?!

Johansson and Weisz are the only ones I see actually fitting that part.
 
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Ultimate_Surfer
3:39AM on 01/26/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
WTF?
No words can discribe how I feel about this. If the Disney Company wants to make a porno than make it! Otherwise stop this... this rotten they keep doing. Shame on them.
No words can discribe how I feel about this. If the Disney Company wants to make a porno than make it! Otherwise stop this... this rotten they keep doing. Shame on them.
 
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dfd3657
11:35PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Whoopi Goldberg? The Genie? XD Weisz is hot as hell, as is Johansson, but all I have to say is...where the fuck is Ariel?
Whoopi Goldberg? The Genie? XD Weisz is hot as hell, as is Johansson, but all I have to say is...where the fuck is Ariel?
 
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brentage5000
10:03PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Now THIS is what I've been waiting for!! Unfortunately, the Beyonce-as-Alice was weird casting, the King Arthur thing looked good but had no girls, the the Julie Andres-Abigail Breslin one, which SHOULD have been cute by all means, just looked....weird. And Whoopi? Seriously? And Marc fuckin' Anthony? Sorry, but the only strong point between those two is JPantsLo.

Fortunately, Ci...
Now THIS is what I've been waiting for!! Unfortunately, the Beyonce-as-Alice was weird casting, the King Arthur thing looked good but had no girls, the the Julie Andres-Abigail Breslin one, which SHOULD have been cute by all means, just looked....weird. And Whoopi? Seriously? And Marc fuckin' Anthony? Sorry, but the only strong point between those two is JPantsLo.

Fortunately, Cinderella, Snow White, and the Peter Pan montage made up for it. So I guess I like Petr Pan, King Arthur, Cinderella, Snow White, Pocahontas, and Prince Phillip.
 
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JH's corpse
9:50PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
hell no rachael weitz was way hotter. what the hell is the point of this? i mean i got a brief kick outta seeing the celebritys assinged to whoever but i don't see the point of it at all and no one needed to see whoopee goldberg play Genie. what man or woman wanted to see that? Robin williams was enough.
hell no rachael weitz was way hotter. what the hell is the point of this? i mean i got a brief kick outta seeing the celebritys assinged to whoever but i don't see the point of it at all and no one needed to see whoopee goldberg play Genie. what man or woman wanted to see that? Robin williams was enough.
 
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aronnyc
9:37PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
With the exception of Johansson as Cinderella, the rest looked kinda goofy (no pun intended). I understand the desire to not-do-the-obvious, but, well, Marc Antony and Lopez as Aladdin and Jasmine? Ugh.
With the exception of Johansson as Cinderella, the rest looked kinda goofy (no pun intended). I understand the desire to not-do-the-obvious, but, well, Marc Antony and Lopez as Aladdin and Jasmine? Ugh.
 
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dseiden5
8:18PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
I really didn't care for this series. Granted, Biel and Johanssen ad Weisz are super hot, but a lot of them feel overly creepy or poorly cast. Plus, for Annie Liebowitz, I expected a little better.
I really didn't care for this series. Granted, Biel and Johanssen ad Weisz are super hot, but a lot of them feel overly creepy or poorly cast. Plus, for Annie Liebowitz, I expected a little better.
 
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EBastard
8:11PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Anybody else notice
how messed up it is that they didn't make Tina Fey a little bigger? I mean come on, she's kinda hot.
how messed up it is that they didn't make Tina Fey a little bigger? I mean come on, she's kinda hot.
 
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hartman27
6:59PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
What the Whoopi?
Why didn't they just get Robin Williams for that? Lack of cool in this marketing scheme.
I say get some actors who do the voices, Aka: Tom Hanks and Tim Allen alla: Toy Story.
Why didn't they just get Robin Williams for that? Lack of cool in this marketing scheme.
I say get some actors who do the voices, Aka: Tom Hanks and Tim Allen alla: Toy Story.
 
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X-KID
6:58PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Cool, but...
Mikhail Baryshnikov as Pan? he looks older than Captain Hook! but any ways...most are pretty accurate and fitting to the celebrities, Rachel Weiz as Snow was my favorite.
Mikhail Baryshnikov as Pan? he looks older than Captain Hook! but any ways...most are pretty accurate and fitting to the celebrities, Rachel Weiz as Snow was my favorite.
 
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bonoferox
6:53PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
Why is Peter being portrayed by a 60 year old man? Mary Martin was more convincing.
Why is Peter being portrayed by a 60 year old man? Mary Martin was more convincing.
 
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HessenRoots
6:28PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
lucky dwarves!
Neat little project. The 6 second sound loop was jarring but Rachel Weisz in a Snow White dress...worth having that little tune in my head for the next 3 days.
Neat little project. The 6 second sound loop was jarring but Rachel Weisz in a Snow White dress...worth having that little tune in my head for the next 3 days.
 
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HoyleHaw
6:19PM on 01/25/2008 Add as a friend | MFC profile
While Jessica Biel ain't no Pocahontas, I understand your meaning. Some of these are pretty spot-on (Julie Andrews and Abigail Breslin as fairies), some are pretty inspired (like Lyle Lovette as the rabbit), but Mikhail Baryshnikov as Pan is just plain wrong.
While Jessica Biel ain't no Pocahontas, I understand your meaning. Some of these are pretty spot-on (Julie Andrews and Abigail Breslin as fairies), some are pretty inspired (like Lyle Lovette as the rabbit), but Mikhail Baryshnikov as Pan is just plain wrong.