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3 Seashells explained

Dec. 30, 2008by:

If your scatological curiosity has yet to be satisfied since you first saw the destructive Stallone sci-fi flick DEMOLITION MAN, maybe this will help answer the perplexing "three sea shells" used for futuristic bathroom hygiene (but not by John Spartan).

I-Mockery took the time to extrapolate comments from Stallone himself (given in an interview a couple years back), illustrating how those baffling metallic bum devices might work. Click for all the steps, but -- WARNING: NSFW artistic representation of human poo is contained within.

3shells

Extra Tidbit: Like that woman at the bar with the peculiarly firm handshake and strong jawline, perhaps some things are just more interesting as a mystery...
Source: I-Mockery

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10:40AM on 12/31/2008

YEAH RIGHT

With Taco Bell being the only surviving fast food/restaurant chain we can all agree that the "bowels" ain't exactly rifled - more like a dirty bomb.
With Taco Bell being the only surviving fast food/restaurant chain we can all agree that the "bowels" ain't exactly rifled - more like a dirty bomb.
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8:31AM on 12/31/2008

THE FUTURE IS HERE!

So ok were can i get these?? I've looked everywhere they don't have them at Target or Walmart and ive stayed up late nights flipping through infomercials looking for these sea shells. ITS TIME WE START LIVING IN THE FUTURE PEOPLE! i know Stallone has them! give em up SLY! I'm sick of walking out of public bathrooms with TP hanging out of my waistband its embarrassing!
So ok were can i get these?? I've looked everywhere they don't have them at Target or Walmart and ive stayed up late nights flipping through infomercials looking for these sea shells. ITS TIME WE START LIVING IN THE FUTURE PEOPLE! i know Stallone has them! give em up SLY! I'm sick of walking out of public bathrooms with TP hanging out of my waistband its embarrassing!
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8:09AM on 12/31/2008

nope, thats not it

i dont buy it, i've always thought it sounded way too futuristic to be this simple. no one would catch poo in their hands if the toilet was right there. this is going back into my mind as a movie mystery.
i dont buy it, i've always thought it sounded way too futuristic to be this simple. no one would catch poo in their hands if the toilet was right there. this is going back into my mind as a movie mystery.
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6:51AM on 12/31/2008

NO NO NO!!!

This is bullshit! i dont buy this for a second!!! This is just like, if not worse than using paper, which they find hideous! Plus, how would you flush them! they look like solid metal! and do you have to buy 3 new onew everytime you gotta go!?

If your gonna try and destroy an age old movie mystery! atleast do it right! cos this is all types of wrong!
This is bullshit! i dont buy this for a second!!! This is just like, if not worse than using paper, which they find hideous! Plus, how would you flush them! they look like solid metal! and do you have to buy 3 new onew everytime you gotta go!?

If your gonna try and destroy an age old movie mystery! atleast do it right! cos this is all types of wrong!
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3:42AM on 12/31/2008
I always thought that maybe there was some sort of baby wipes or some kind of cleaner under the shells. This is just silly. If they don't believe in bodies to touch much less fluid transfer what makes you think they would handle feces like that.
I always thought that maybe there was some sort of baby wipes or some kind of cleaner under the shells. This is just silly. If they don't believe in bodies to touch much less fluid transfer what makes you think they would handle feces like that.
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3:03AM on 12/31/2008
What if you have the shits?
What if you have the shits?
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1:42AM on 12/31/2008
How do you flush sea shells?
How do you flush sea shells?
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1:06AM on 12/31/2008
I have always wondered this. For serious.
I have always wondered this. For serious.
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12:11AM on 12/31/2008
This is sorta always how i envisioned it anyway. A quick 1-2-3 away.
This is sorta always how i envisioned it anyway. A quick 1-2-3 away.
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11:09PM on 12/30/2008
Well, that was...disappointing?
Well, that was...disappointing?
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