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JoBlo book winners!!



JoBlo.com Presents...The 50 Coolest Movies of All-TimeI am absolutely AMAZED at the number of entries that we got for our three autographed books. Damn, close to 700 people all wanting to read my mindless scribblings? If even half you folks bought that shite over the Net every week, the book would be on the New York Times best-sellers list lickety-split!! ;) That said, I honestly want to THANK every single person who entered personally (well, this is as personal as it gets without sending emails out for the next two weeks) because you all touched us at JUST the right time of the year. I know I asked you guys to "suck our asses", but either all of you are excellent exaggerators or damn dude...sniff, sniff...you LOVE US...YOU REALLY, REALLY LOVE US!!

We received entries from folks in the military (very cool), people asking for books for their kids, for their husbands, offering us sexual favors (please leave your phone numbers next time), comparing us to the Beatles (sacrilegious!), using their heritage as a way to bribe their way in, offering generous amount of FIGHT CLUB related items, poems, f*ck you notes, comparisons to Roger Ebert and his suckiness and so much more. I also liked how you all used my personal "handicaps" (i.e. Depp, nachos, Hayek, my huge penis, Mendes, etc...) to entice me further into your entries. Great moves! It was truly a BLAST to read all of your stuff. PS: All of you who corrected my 1 spelling error from the original contest posting were automatically disqualified for being "jerks". Just shittin' ya! Nice catch actually. I suck.

That said, I simply could NOT choose only 3 winners out of all the entries, so I decided to give away 5 SIGNED COPIES instead, and to be honest witcha, could easily have given out dozens more, but the money-crunch cut into it (also, how 'bout some of you reach down and toss $20 into the book, ya cheapskates!) The majority of the entries were fun, creative and altogether kick-ass and I read every single one of them myself (took forever, let me tell you, but I jerked off to some of them too, so that took even more time) Click below to read the 5 entries that "deserved" to win, but be sure to click the LINK below that one as well, which includes many of the other creative, funny, hipster runners-up. I swear I'm gonna read these things whenever I return from a late night out on the town without having picked up a lady-friend, just so I can feel better about myself. I should have contests like this more often! Happy hollies, folks and to the winners, check your email for more details...

Click here to read winners entries
Click here to read the runners-up



It's the friggin' holidays so what better time to give out free copies of our book, right? This contest will run from Dec. 11-18 and to win one of three autographed copies, tell us why you think you deserve the book? Are you a big fan of the site? Do you like my dinky reviews? Speak up, chum...I can't heard you! Whoever sucks my ass the greatest, but also slaps some actual facts about their dedication to the site into the mix, along with some creativity, wins a copy of the book. We encourage imagination, movie references and swearing and will deduct points for bad spelling (you see, school does make a difference in life!) Sending me pictures of hot girls won't help your cause, but will help mine.

For anyone who doesn't know about our book yet, it's called JOBLO.COM PRESENTS...THE 50 COOLEST MOVIES OF ALL-TIME and represents my first published work. The book includes 50 reviews of very groovy movies (most not available on this website-- see entire list below), as well as little known facts and trivia about them, the "coolest thing" about each film, an intro and epilogue by yours truly written while drunk and a very neat foreword by writer/director Kevin Smith. You can also buy the book if you're not interested in sucking my ass through Amazon.com, Amazon.ca or Amazon.co.uk. Email me if you want to purchase an autographed copy. Otherwise, check out some of the book's reviews below and enter now, baby!


American Psycho
Austin Powers
The Big Lebowski
Blade 2
Blade Runner
Boogie Nights
A Clockwork Orange
The Crow
Dark City
Die Hard
Dirty Harry
Empire Strikes Back
Enter the Dragon
Evil Dead 2
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Fight Club
Get Shorty
The Killer
La Femme Nikita
Lock Stock and Two..
The Lost Boys
Mad Max
The Matrix
Out of Sight
Point Break
The Professional
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
Run Lola Run
Saturday Night Fever
The Terminator
Thelma & Louise
True Romance
The Usual Suspects
A View to a Kill
Wall Street


Why do you think you deserve an autographed JoBlo.com book? What do you dig the most about this site? How creative can you be?




The book has received nothing but great response from fans and reviewers alike (read some fan feedback at the bottom of the  Amazon.com page), many of which you can see below. If you represent a media publication interested in a review copy of the book, please email me with your info and I will get back to you asap.

"While people like Roger Ebert and Leonard Maltin crank out their "Movie Encyclopedia of the Year", encompassing so many movies that no one could ever comprehend, JoBlo has assembled 50 movies that I'd say are worth seeing over and over again." -- DVDAuthority.com

"...reviews are extremely relatable, non-threatening and honest. In each review, he comes across as your average fun-loving movie guy. He’s that guy!" -- Entertainment Today

"The real beauty of this book is the genuine examination of the films. It cleverly avoids the boring details and is brutally honest..." -- Film Magazine

"A good film critic is as hard to find as a really good blowjob. Yes -- ultimately, every blowjob can be considered good enough if it gets the job done. But the really good, rock-out-with-your-cock-out kind of head that makes a guy marry someone. That's shit's rare. As rare as JoBlo."-- Kevin Smith (writer/director)

"...a "must" for movie buffs, whether they dip into the entries here and there, or simply start with page one and read straight on through!" -- Midwest Book Review

"...his writing style is infectiously enthusiastic." -- Montreal Mirror

"...you can tell that JoBlo has an understanding of why movies work beyond just being kinetic or funny. Take that, Roger Ebert.
-- Moviepoopshoot.com

"JoBlo's turn-of-phrase is unique in film criticism: a pride in standing up for what he believes in and a refreshing lack of pretension in sharing his thoughts and enthusiasm on the celluloid world." -- The New York Resident

"...written in a chatty, internet style, and thus, feels very casual. Overall, a fun, quick read." -- RottenTomatoes.com

"This guy is knowledgeable and funny as hell. With film criticism today largely polarized between stuffy cineastes and inarticulate buffoons, JoBlo is indeed a breath of fresh air." -- Rue Morgue


Thanks to everyone for their support!!!!

Source: JoBlo.com
Tags: Hollywood



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