Latest Movie News Headlines

Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Eddie Murphy!

Jul. 20, 2012by: Johnny Moreno

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.

The Defendant


Eddie Murphy

The Case

The Prosecution: Norbit, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, I Spy, Imagine That, Daddy Day Care, Holy Man, The Haunted Mansion, A Thousand Words, Dr. Dolittle 1 & 2, Bowfinger, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps.*

It is with great fervor and hostility that we charge actor/comedian Eddie Murphy of crimes against the movie going community. Sure, the man has been at the head of multi-million dollar franchises and yes, we recognize that his first role as a lead, Beverly Hills Cop grossed over $230 Million but does that allow Mr. Murphy to lean over the edge of Hollywood and take a gigantic shit on all of us? What happened to the young, brash, hilarious star of SNL, Beverly Hills Cop and Trading Places? What happened to the risk taking funny man who co-wrote Coming to America and directed an all black cast in Harlem Nights, his directorial debut? When did Mr. Murphy decide to play it safe and lob soft balls like Daddy Day Care and Dr. Dolittle at us? And though movies like Shrek are wildly popular among children and even his last turn in Brett Ratner's Tower Heist did well critically, a look at his Rotten Tomatoes profile shows more rotten than fresh ratings. Not to mention that at one point cops pulled him over with a transvestite prostitute. Actually, that's one for the defense. Objection to my last statement, I'd like to have it stricken from the record. Wait, can I do that?

The Defense: Saturday Night Live, 48 Hrs., Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, Bowfinger, Coming to America, stand up specials Delirious and Raw, Harlem Nights, Boomerang, Shrek 1-12, Dreamgirls.*

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, I'm just a caveman. Your laws of Movie Jail frightens and confuses me. The heartbreaking thing about putting Mr. Murphy on trial is that when he's good, he's really fucking good. There aren't many comedies that are considered "classics" that still hold up but Murphy has that with Coming to America, 48 Hrs, Beverly Hills Cop, and Trading Places. You can even argue his voiceover skills as Donkey in Shrek is the best thing he's done in a decade. A crazy amped up Murphy. It's a kid's movie, sure, but does the court deny that Murphy completely owned that animated character with a multitude of funny lines and energy that permeated off the screen? His Dreamgirls' performance was stellar and only hints at the potential for Murphy to have a second life as a dramatic actor. IF he's up for the challenge, which the defense believes is only a matter of WHEN, not IF. Hollywood knows that above all else, Mr. Murphy is a bonefied box office star that delivers gold bricks to the studios. What more can the court want to acquit Mr. Murphy? Other than to blow said court? Has the defense mentioned the transvestite incident? Have it Uruguay. Now then, tell the prosecution to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up! (4:30)

IN CLOSING...

So, what’s to be done with Mr. Murphy? Could his earlier successful movies give a pass to the more recent, water downed version of the man? Does his box office appeal have any bearing in this case? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, I ask you The Jury, is Eddie Murphy GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?


LAST WEEK'S VERDICT

After reviewing last week's evidence, the court finds Mr. Adam Sandler GUILTY of charges against the movie going community. He is to be given a life sentence in Movie Jail with the possibility of parole should he have a consistent output of quality movies. In his previous trial, one JoBlo Movie Podcast listener thought "300lb black guys should be picked to run a rape train on Adam Sandler (and possibly a future defendant). So he's getting off easy with this sentence. Or not getting off at all. I don't know. Get off my shit, I don't judge people.

Extra Tidbit: Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!
Source: JoBlo.com

Related Articles

MORE FUN FROM AROUND THE WEB

Strikeback
Not registered? Sign-up!
Or

11:27PM on 12/18/2012

BOOK HIM....Jail Time!

Eddie Murphy is definitely in MOVIE JAIL....seriously, Mr, Murphy, what where you thinking? Everybody misses your glory days back in the 80's and early 90's,,,,but somehow to tested the kid movie genre and took some risks with some not so great roles and BAM the young, edgy, hip Eddie Murphy was gone! You hit gold with Shrek, that should have been a green light to get out and start doing adult roles, better comedies, etc....
Eddie Murphy needs some time in MOVIE JAIL, maybe the time in the
Eddie Murphy is definitely in MOVIE JAIL....seriously, Mr, Murphy, what where you thinking? Everybody misses your glory days back in the 80's and early 90's,,,,but somehow to tested the kid movie genre and took some risks with some not so great roles and BAM the young, edgy, hip Eddie Murphy was gone! You hit gold with Shrek, that should have been a green light to get out and start doing adult roles, better comedies, etc....
Eddie Murphy needs some time in MOVIE JAIL, maybe the time in the cell, will help him.
Your Reply:



+0
4:31PM on 07/23/2012
I am a huge young Murphy fan but Movie Jail it is. Guilty as hell.
I am a huge young Murphy fan but Movie Jail it is. Guilty as hell.
Your Reply:



1:28PM on 07/23/2012
im gonna go with my gut and say not guilty. his recent movies havent been too good but within the past couple years, or everything after norbit, he's shown signs of returning to the classic murphy we all love. i think theres still hope for him, he just needs the right director and script and shouldnt make a comedy as a quick pay check.
im gonna go with my gut and say not guilty. his recent movies havent been too good but within the past couple years, or everything after norbit, he's shown signs of returning to the classic murphy we all love. i think theres still hope for him, he just needs the right director and script and shouldnt make a comedy as a quick pay check.
Your Reply:



4:28AM on 07/23/2012
He should be on death row.
He should be on death row.
Your Reply:



3:29AM on 07/23/2012
Guilty! His track record is spotty, even from the beginning, so I say let him rot.
Guilty! His track record is spotty, even from the beginning, so I say let him rot.
Your Reply:



9:43PM on 07/22/2012

GUILTY

You forgot about Meet Dave. Throw away the key.
You forgot about Meet Dave. Throw away the key.
Your Reply:



12:18PM on 07/22/2012

Come on guys!!! Abide by your own rules.

Why do they have to be black?

We do not allow hateful messages, racism, homophobic crap, nudity, threats or otherwise violations of any laws whatsoever. No direct insults among members either. We also reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason, and ban people who are acting like pricks. You know who you are… ;)
Why do they have to be black?

We do not allow hateful messages, racism, homophobic crap, nudity, threats or otherwise violations of any laws whatsoever. No direct insults among members either. We also reserve the right to remove, edit, move or close any thread for any reason, and ban people who are acting like pricks. You know who you are… ;)
Your Reply:



2:04AM on 07/21/2012

Regretfully...

Guilty. The man has definitely made uber-classics over the years, but hes got no excuse for the shit hes put out over the last decade. Part of me is still waiting(hoping) for his triumphant return.You see glimpses Of possible "hes back" moments from time to time, but then he ultimately disappoints...
Guilty. The man has definitely made uber-classics over the years, but hes got no excuse for the shit hes put out over the last decade. Part of me is still waiting(hoping) for his triumphant return.You see glimpses Of possible "hes back" moments from time to time, but then he ultimately disappoints...
Your Reply:



11:31PM on 07/20/2012
GUILTY! Man's spent more time making shit than good movies at this point.

Tidbit: Robert De Niro... I think it will be a more interesting and less "open and shut" case than Sandler and Murphy.
GUILTY! Man's spent more time making shit than good movies at this point.

Tidbit: Robert De Niro... I think it will be a more interesting and less "open and shut" case than Sandler and Murphy.
Your Reply:



+2
9:55PM on 07/20/2012

Guilty!!!

Solitary confinement
Solitary confinement
Your Reply:



8:28PM on 07/20/2012
Guilty.
Guilty.
Your Reply:



7:02PM on 07/20/2012

Could have made this decision 10 years ago

Guilty

Extra tidbit- Bruce Willis
Guilty

Extra tidbit- Bruce Willis
Your Reply:



5:59PM on 07/20/2012

GUILTY

Watching his stand up for the first time recently makes it even harder to vote guilty, but that shit was 30 years ago. Murphy's a "should have been" that never really reached his full potential. And why's Bowfinger on the bad list? I thought that was his only good flick he's done since the '80s.

What about Tom Cruise next?
Watching his stand up for the first time recently makes it even harder to vote guilty, but that shit was 30 years ago. Murphy's a "should have been" that never really reached his full potential. And why's Bowfinger on the bad list? I thought that was his only good flick he's done since the '80s.

What about Tom Cruise next?
Your Reply:



5:58PM on 07/20/2012

Guilty

for not making me laugh since 1997. Jim Carrey or Fred Willard next.
for not making me laugh since 1997. Jim Carrey or Fred Willard next.
Your Reply:



-2
1:51PM on 07/20/2012

I know it's the wrong thread, but um...

"300 black guys running a rape train"? Really? You couldn't just say 500 redneck hillbilly white boys? Oh, my bad, that would be racist.
"300 black guys running a rape train"? Really? You couldn't just say 500 redneck hillbilly white boys? Oh, my bad, that would be racist.
Your Reply:



3:17PM on 07/20/2012
Yeah really. The quote is from a JoBlo podcast listener, as the article clearly states, who thought that's what Sandler's sentence should be. The listener is a black gentleman. Nice try.
Yeah really. The quote is from a JoBlo podcast listener, as the article clearly states, who thought that's what Sandler's sentence should be. The listener is a black gentleman. Nice try.
7:21AM on 07/21/2012
300 lbs (pounds)...
300 lbs (pounds)...
1:21PM on 07/20/2012

Not Guilty

I'm in the minority for enjoying Dr. Dolittle, Showtime (to an extent) Pluto Nash and the forgotten gem Metro. And as pointed out in the article, the man has become a watered down version of himself in the PG13 world were unapologetic, no holds- bars quips have been replaced with cheap fart jokes and fat-suits.

Give the man an R-Rating vehicle with creative room to manuever and before you know it, he'll be back to what made him great.

@extra-tidbit, Martin Lawrence
I'm in the minority for enjoying Dr. Dolittle, Showtime (to an extent) Pluto Nash and the forgotten gem Metro. And as pointed out in the article, the man has become a watered down version of himself in the PG13 world were unapologetic, no holds- bars quips have been replaced with cheap fart jokes and fat-suits.

Give the man an R-Rating vehicle with creative room to manuever and before you know it, he'll be back to what made him great.

@extra-tidbit, Martin Lawrence
Your Reply:



-5
12:45PM on 07/20/2012

not guilty

i liked Dr. Dolittle, Bowfinger,A Thousand Words,I spy.Bowfinger is one of his best performances.his script selection might b bad,but he is tryin to give his best ,performance wise.
i liked Dr. Dolittle, Bowfinger,A Thousand Words,I spy.Bowfinger is one of his best performances.his script selection might b bad,but he is tryin to give his best ,performance wise.
Your Reply:



12:32PM on 07/20/2012
Guilty. No need to explain on this one. For next week, I'd say Steven Seagal. He's one of my favorite action stars but I must admit that his movies as of late aren't up to his usual standards.
Guilty. No need to explain on this one. For next week, I'd say Steven Seagal. He's one of my favorite action stars but I must admit that his movies as of late aren't up to his usual standards.
Your Reply:



12:28PM on 07/20/2012
I'd like to see Paul WS Anderson on trial. He has to answer for AvP and his other crimes against celluloid.
I'd like to see Paul WS Anderson on trial. He has to answer for AvP and his other crimes against celluloid.
Your Reply:



5:43PM on 07/20/2012
Totally agree. He's a good director but he's a fucking terrible writer.
Totally agree. He's a good director but he's a fucking terrible writer.
11:43AM on 07/20/2012

Guilty as chargecd

but I recommend leniency in sentencing. Eddie has the ability to turn things around but needs to know the movie-watching community is ready to give up on him. I still LOL at how many homophobic jokes were in his stand-up routine and then he got caught with a transvestite hooker. Is there something you're not admitting, Eddie?

I think M. Night Shyamalan should be on trial next.
but I recommend leniency in sentencing. Eddie has the ability to turn things around but needs to know the movie-watching community is ready to give up on him. I still LOL at how many homophobic jokes were in his stand-up routine and then he got caught with a transvestite hooker. Is there something you're not admitting, Eddie?

I think M. Night Shyamalan should be on trial next.
Your Reply: