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Movie Jail: This week's defendant is...Marlon Wayans!

Jan. 7, 2013by: Johnny Moreno

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a Movie Jail trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the defendant is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.

The Defendant


Marlon Wayans

The Case

The Prosecution: LiTTLEMAN, White Chicks, Dance Flick, Norbit, Senseless, The Sixth Man, Dungeons & Dragons *

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, with the release of A HAUNTED HOUSE this week, we're looking at what could possibly be another spoof movie gone unfunny. And none other than Marlon Wayans looks to be involved once again. What's it going to take to lock this guy up? You'd be hard pressed to find a comedy that tries so hard to be funny and fails miserably than LiTTLEMAN or WHITE CHICKS . There's no denying that the Wayans' spoof and comedies do pretty well at the box office, and with some audiences, but at the end of the day, they're condemnable trite. Not to mention Mr. Wayans' performances in these are so over the top and forced that it's distracting, and that's saying something when you consider all of the nonsense going on in the movies. Lock him up and throw away the key? We'd say so.

The Defense: Scary Movie 1 and 2, Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, Requiem for a Dream, G.I. Joe, The Ladykillers, Above the Rim*

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, Mr. Marlon Wayans is guilty of nothing here, other than being prolific and spreading himself out into various genres, one of which is spoof comedies. And why not? He comes from a comedy background with brother Keenen and Damon creating one of the best spoof movies of the 80s and the fantastically underrated In Living Color, so it would seem a no brainer for the younger Wayans to venture into the genre. But he's also gone beyond that, playing a junkie in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM and getting into the action game with G.I. JOE. The defense feels that while some of Mr. Wayans' projects have been less than stellar, he's still showing an ability to be a versatile actor with the right project. We recommend leniency and for the prosecution to develop a sense of humor.


IN CLOSING...

So, whatís to be done with Marlon Wayans? Are the spoof movies really THAT bad? If the movies are a hit with a good amount of the audience, should that be a crime? And the most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into consideration, we ask you The Jury, is Halle Berry GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Letís hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.

WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?


PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY NOT GUILTY
Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Vince Vaughn
Tim Burton
The Farrelly Brothers
Michael Bay
Jessica Alba
Ice Cube
Gerard Butler
Halle Berry

Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer
Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Ben Stiller
Jim Carrey
Wes Craven
Matthew McConaughey
Robert Rodriguez
Kristen Stewart
Roland Emmerich
Kevin Costner
Extra Tidbit: Who Should Take the Stand Next? Strike Back Below!
Source: JoBlo.com

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6:36PM on 01/09/2013
guilty, mothafucka!
guilty, mothafucka!
Your Reply:



4:09PM on 01/08/2013

Not Guilty

I have been waiting for Marlon to show his real talent for a long time. The Wayans Bros., one of my favorite sitcoms, showcased how good of a comedic actor he can be, both physically and with line delivery. I also found Senseless to be his best movie and had high hopes after it. He also showed some dramatic chops in the series on occasion, and in Requiem for A Dream. He was talented at some point, but it does not come across much anymore.
I have been waiting for Marlon to show his real talent for a long time. The Wayans Bros., one of my favorite sitcoms, showcased how good of a comedic actor he can be, both physically and with line delivery. I also found Senseless to be his best movie and had high hopes after it. He also showed some dramatic chops in the series on occasion, and in Requiem for A Dream. He was talented at some point, but it does not come across much anymore.
Your Reply:



-1
12:08PM on 01/08/2013

Not Guilty, I know I'm shocked too

I was ready to say guilty, duh. Then I thought about some of his material beyond Scary Movie, and even though it's not the Coen Brothers most popular I still find Marlon Wayans hilarious in "The Ladykillers". Every time he says, "Fuck you and the Swiss Miss." The dude has been in some shitty films, but he was good in "Requiem For A Dream" , "Above The Rim", and funny in a couple of films. So I'm going to be lighthearted and give him a pass, even though I should say guilty.
I was ready to say guilty, duh. Then I thought about some of his material beyond Scary Movie, and even though it's not the Coen Brothers most popular I still find Marlon Wayans hilarious in "The Ladykillers". Every time he says, "Fuck you and the Swiss Miss." The dude has been in some shitty films, but he was good in "Requiem For A Dream" , "Above The Rim", and funny in a couple of films. So I'm going to be lighthearted and give him a pass, even though I should say guilty.
Your Reply:



8:51AM on 01/08/2013

not competent to stand trial

this kid never showed enough talent to warrant punishing him for the really bad stuff. i thought this was for actors who had promise and squandered it. if its for actors who sucked all their lives, get Wings Hauser in here.
this kid never showed enough talent to warrant punishing him for the really bad stuff. i thought this was for actors who had promise and squandered it. if its for actors who sucked all their lives, get Wings Hauser in here.
Your Reply:



8:08AM on 01/08/2013

GUILTY

There isn't a hole deep or dark enough to toss this douche into. He isn't funny, is a real tool in person and if I ever hear him make that damn Ha-haaaaa!!! squeal he does in the scary movie franchise ever again it will be too soon. F$#k you, Marlon, f%$k you very much
There isn't a hole deep or dark enough to toss this douche into. He isn't funny, is a real tool in person and if I ever hear him make that damn Ha-haaaaa!!! squeal he does in the scary movie franchise ever again it will be too soon. F$#k you, Marlon, f%$k you very much
Your Reply:



5:37AM on 01/08/2013
Guilty
The guy is just not funny and continues to make not funny movies.
Guilty
The guy is just not funny and continues to make not funny movies.
Your Reply:



12:39AM on 01/08/2013
I thought to make this column you had to have at least some good movies under your belt. This unfunny fuck has done nothing that warrants making this column.
I thought to make this column you had to have at least some good movies under your belt. This unfunny fuck has done nothing that warrants making this column.
Your Reply:



+1
11:52PM on 01/07/2013

Not guilty

He got sucked in to some bad stuff due to family. White Chicks was funny. Don't Be A Menace was classic. Requiem was a different turn. Potential is there. And (spoiler) he killed Tupac in Above the Rim.
He got sucked in to some bad stuff due to family. White Chicks was funny. Don't Be A Menace was classic. Requiem was a different turn. Potential is there. And (spoiler) he killed Tupac in Above the Rim.
Your Reply:



11:34PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty as charged

and then some. You had me at White Chicks.
and then some. You had me at White Chicks.
Your Reply:



11:06PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty

Guilty. I liked GI Joe but i'm in a small minority with that one. But really his only particularly good work he's done was back when he did "In Living Color"

Next Defendant - Sandra Bullock
Guilty. I liked GI Joe but i'm in a small minority with that one. But really his only particularly good work he's done was back when he did "In Living Color"

Next Defendant - Sandra Bullock
Your Reply:



11:01PM on 01/07/2013

Not Guilty, somehow....

So it's the same thing with him as Adam Sandler. Doing crappy movies now when there has been some real roles in his past. Now we get the drivel dumbed down for teenagers and mindless chuckle heads. It sucks because the dude comes from a strong tv background took on a variety of roles for a while then just........

yea maybe he wasn't getting the offers? Maybe the ones he was getting were worse then what he's actually appeared in. Something tells me he might be fooling us all like we used to
So it's the same thing with him as Adam Sandler. Doing crappy movies now when there has been some real roles in his past. Now we get the drivel dumbed down for teenagers and mindless chuckle heads. It sucks because the dude comes from a strong tv background took on a variety of roles for a while then just........

yea maybe he wasn't getting the offers? Maybe the ones he was getting were worse then what he's actually appeared in. Something tells me he might be fooling us all like we used to think of Will Smith... He's funny does big blockbuster type movies then boom Dramatic Role that wow us! Maybe Marlon's got a trick up his sleeve.
Your Reply:



10:02PM on 01/07/2013

Not Guilty

I'm going to go against the grain on this one. I do think the movies he's involved with are shitty, but I always find him to be funny in those movies, usually funnier than everyone else involved. I also would like to say that White Chicks was hilarious, along with all the movies in the defense, so that trumps all the bad stuff he did (to me).
I'm going to go against the grain on this one. I do think the movies he's involved with are shitty, but I always find him to be funny in those movies, usually funnier than everyone else involved. I also would like to say that White Chicks was hilarious, along with all the movies in the defense, so that trumps all the bad stuff he did (to me).
Your Reply:



9:45PM on 01/07/2013

GUILTY

He is so guilty. The previews for his movies are as far as I will ever get, and even they make me cringe.
Next week: Arnold Schwarzenegger??? He's got a new movie coming out and although he generally makes great mindless action flicks he has some real crap to his name...Junior, Batman and Robin...just saying.
He is so guilty. The previews for his movies are as far as I will ever get, and even they make me cringe.
Next week: Arnold Schwarzenegger??? He's got a new movie coming out and although he generally makes great mindless action flicks he has some real crap to his name...Junior, Batman and Robin...just saying.
Your Reply:



+2
8:34PM on 01/07/2013

guilty

nuff said
nuff said
Your Reply:



8:18PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty ass

you know it.
you know it.
Your Reply:



8:16PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty

solitary confinement.
solitary confinement.
Your Reply:



7:26PM on 01/07/2013

ummmm...GUILTY!

hell he deserves 'movie electric chair' at this point.
hell he deserves 'movie electric chair' at this point.
Your Reply:



6:02PM on 01/07/2013

Most predictable Movie Jail defendant outcome ever?

You KNOW it'll be "GUILTY" clear across the board next week.

That said...here's one vote to the contrary! **NOT** GUILTY!
You KNOW it'll be "GUILTY" clear across the board next week.

That said...here's one vote to the contrary! **NOT** GUILTY!
Your Reply:



9:56AM on 01/13/2013
LOLWUTTTT
LOLWUTTTT
5:41PM on 01/07/2013

GUILTY

There isn't a hole deep or dark enough to toss this douche into. He isn't funny, is a real tool in person and if I ever hear him make that damn Ha-haaaaa!!! squeal he does in the scary movie franchise ever again it will be too soon. F$#k you, Marlon, f%$k you very much
There isn't a hole deep or dark enough to toss this douche into. He isn't funny, is a real tool in person and if I ever hear him make that damn Ha-haaaaa!!! squeal he does in the scary movie franchise ever again it will be too soon. F$#k you, Marlon, f%$k you very much
Your Reply:



5:00PM on 01/07/2013

guilty

Marlon was born in movie jail, if he ever got out- the light would be nothing but blinding.
Marlon was born in movie jail, if he ever got out- the light would be nothing but blinding.
Your Reply:



4:58PM on 01/07/2013
Don't be a Menace and Scary Movie 1 and 2 are personal favorites of mine, however, this guy is as GUILTY as they come.
Don't be a Menace and Scary Movie 1 and 2 are personal favorites of mine, however, this guy is as GUILTY as they come.
Your Reply:



4:15PM on 01/07/2013

strap him in to chair!!!

you enjoyed the ladykillers, gi Joe and scary movie 2? YOU should be jailed with him. don't be a menace was the only time this waste of space was funny!!!!
you enjoyed the ladykillers, gi Joe and scary movie 2? YOU should be jailed with him. don't be a menace was the only time this waste of space was funny!!!!
Your Reply:



4:14PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty

I'm sorry, he never had the comedic chops to begin with. No hidden potential whatsoever. Life with no parole.
I'm sorry, he never had the comedic chops to begin with. No hidden potential whatsoever. Life with no parole.
Your Reply:



4:09PM on 01/07/2013
Yeah I thought the idea behind Movie Jail was that the person once had to be a distinguished actor in good films. Other than Reqiuem (in which he's a lesser player anyway), there's nothing good this fella has ever really done. So....by default....guilty!
Yeah I thought the idea behind Movie Jail was that the person once had to be a distinguished actor in good films. Other than Reqiuem (in which he's a lesser player anyway), there's nothing good this fella has ever really done. So....by default....guilty!
Your Reply:



3:51PM on 01/07/2013

You have to be good first in order to be found guilty for sucking, so I don't see how this applies to him.

Scary Movie 1 and 2 are in his defense?.....What?!?!...Those movies suck. Marlon has only been in one good film and that was Requiem For A Dream.
Scary Movie 1 and 2 are in his defense?.....What?!?!...Those movies suck. Marlon has only been in one good film and that was Requiem For A Dream.
Your Reply:



3:49PM on 01/07/2013

Seriously GI Joe for the defense?

Guilty. Lock this guy up and throw away the key. And while you're at it lock up Ashon Kutcher, Cedric the Entertainer, Shia Labeouf, Miley Cyrus, Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Tara Reid, and Colin Farrell too.
Guilty. Lock this guy up and throw away the key. And while you're at it lock up Ashon Kutcher, Cedric the Entertainer, Shia Labeouf, Miley Cyrus, Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Tara Reid, and Colin Farrell too.
Your Reply:



3:37PM on 01/07/2013
Guilty by reason of insanity. Only someone so insanely stupid would allow their acting career to look this bad. As a result, I think he is the first prisoner in need of a lobotomy. Maybe that will cure him or maybe it will turn him into a drooling vegi. Either way it will be a significant improvement from what he is right now.
Guilty by reason of insanity. Only someone so insanely stupid would allow their acting career to look this bad. As a result, I think he is the first prisoner in need of a lobotomy. Maybe that will cure him or maybe it will turn him into a drooling vegi. Either way it will be a significant improvement from what he is right now.
Your Reply:



+1
2:49PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty!

This dude has never made a decent movie. Screw that, just beat him the the gavel.
This dude has never made a decent movie. Screw that, just beat him the the gavel.
Your Reply:



2:39PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty!

Marlon Wayans was great in Requiem, but in his comedy he's gone for [link] laughs. The man has shown great dramatic chops, but while he has some comedic timing, the material just plain sucks.
Marlon Wayans was great in Requiem, but in his comedy he's gone for [link] laughs. The man has shown great dramatic chops, but while he has some comedic timing, the material just plain sucks.
Your Reply:



2:37PM on 01/07/2013
Not guilty. But whatever happened to that Richard Pryor biopic that he was supposed to star in?
Not guilty. But whatever happened to that Richard Pryor biopic that he was supposed to star in?
Your Reply:



10:43PM on 01/07/2013
I was wondering about that one, too.
I was wondering about that one, too.
+6
2:36PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty

Dance flick alone makes anyone guilty
Dance flick alone makes anyone guilty
Your Reply:



2:31PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty!

Sure, Requiem is a great movie, but Wayans has been in a lot more shitty ones than good ones.
Sure, Requiem is a great movie, but Wayans has been in a lot more shitty ones than good ones.
Your Reply:



2:16PM on 01/07/2013
guilty, yes indeed. Stop it with spoofs!
guilty, yes indeed. Stop it with spoofs!
Your Reply:



2:08PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty.

Throw him in jail and get Damon back.
Throw him in jail and get Damon back.
Your Reply:



2:18PM on 01/07/2013
Fuck yea, Damon needs to restart his acting career
Fuck yea, Damon needs to restart his acting career
10:44PM on 01/07/2013
Had a great guest spot backing up his son on Happy Endings.
Had a great guest spot backing up his son on Happy Endings.
2:05PM on 01/07/2013
Requiem can't come CLOSE to saving him. GUILTY!!!
Requiem can't come CLOSE to saving him. GUILTY!!!
Your Reply:



1:55PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty as hell....

All of the Wayans should be in jail....Besides Requiem for a Dream, Most of Maren bad, they're Awful....and only getting worse..."I kicked you in your ghost balls" Is NOT funny Marlon!!!! GUILTY!
All of the Wayans should be in jail....Besides Requiem for a Dream, Most of Maren bad, they're Awful....and only getting worse..."I kicked you in your ghost balls" Is NOT funny Marlon!!!! GUILTY!
Your Reply:



1:55PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty

Marlon Wayans can be funny and an amazing actor, but he is too often just content with lowering the bar and starring in movies that not even a 5 year old can find funny (I do like the first Scary Movie).
Marlon Wayans can be funny and an amazing actor, but he is too often just content with lowering the bar and starring in movies that not even a 5 year old can find funny (I do like the first Scary Movie).
Your Reply:



1:48PM on 01/07/2013

Guilty

His spoofs are terrible. The movies he makes with his brother are like the kind of shit Adam Snadler produces for Rob Schneider. I remember Requiem for a Dream. Mo'Money is good for a laugh. This guy could have done some actual good work.
His spoofs are terrible. The movies he makes with his brother are like the kind of shit Adam Snadler produces for Rob Schneider. I remember Requiem for a Dream. Mo'Money is good for a laugh. This guy could have done some actual good work.
Your Reply:



1:45PM on 01/07/2013

Seriously?

This kid was BORN in movie jail. Has he ever been free?
This kid was BORN in movie jail. Has he ever been free?
Your Reply:



1:39PM on 01/07/2013
Guilty. I'm tired of the spoof movies.
Guilty. I'm tired of the spoof movies.
Your Reply: