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C'mon Hollywood #20

09.22.2004

...gimme a 3rd Airplane movie!
by Indiana Sev

"It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit." -- Airplane! (1980)

Christ, remember when parody and spoof comedies in Hollywood didnít rely solely on jizz, poop or fart jokes to squeeze a laugh out of us? If Jason Biggs or the two younger Wayans brothers were never born, things mightíve turned out differently, but they were and so the AMERICAN PIE and SCARY MOVIE films came to be as well. Those two trilogies made it acceptable and sadly, profitable, to sink to the lowest possible denominator in attempting to pry a cheap laugh out of an audience. Ever since then, almost any comedy in the take-off and satire genre resorts primarily in lazy and unoriginal gross-out gags throughout the film. Well, pardon my French butÖ f*ck that!

Iím firing up my Delorean and traveling back in time to the glorious 70ís and 80ís for my comedy fix. Iíll sit in the car and watch BLAZING SADDLES, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, TOP SECRET! and THE KENTUCKY FRIEDMOVIE Ďtil my eyes bleed. Iíll return only if and when Joe Hollywood greenlights a send-off comedy thatís sperm-free, flatulence-free and Biggs-free -- preferably directed by a Zucker brother. I would have settled for the great Mel Brooks but unfortunately his films became laugh-free when the nineties hit. What Iím trying to say is, call that comedic genius Robert Hays up and ask him to shave and shower because I want myself a conclusion to the AIRPLANE! trilogy!

You see, the trick in doing a great spoof like AIRPLANE! is sticking to one primary target in your lampooning. AIRPLANE! made its mark by attacking only AIRPORT and other airplane-related flicks. The SCARY MOVIE films overplayed their spoofing card and decided to target every film under the goddamn sun until the movie just became a series of SNL sketches Ė and not the funny Phil Hartman era ones either. Dave Zucker directed the third SCARY MOVIE and has the fourth one brewing which is why Iím writing this article. Please David, you proved with BASEKETBALL you still got the chops for quality laughs, so drop SM4, call Jim Abrahams and your bro up and bang out the last installment to our beloved AIRPLANE movies.

My Delorean is all gassed up and the Libyans are gaining on me, I donít have much time left, Zuck.

PS: If you can get the jive-talking brothers, Peter Graves, Bill Shatner, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the lovely Julie Hagerty and Otto back, Iíll even forgive THE BOSSíS DAUGHTER debacle. I kid David, I kid. I kid because I careÖ

PREVIOUSLY:

...keep a close eye on the Mick! (September 17, 2004)
...gimme a release date for 2046! (September 10, 2004)
...Kudrow is a one-trick pony...I said it (September 3, 2004)
...keep the status quo on Oscar night! (September 1, 2004)
...find a substitute for '555' already! (August 27, 2004)
...gimme less Murphy and more Sly! (August 25, 2004)
...gimme the Wonder Years on DVD! (August 20, 2004)
...gimme a one-on-one with Elisha! (August 18, 2004)
...more hockey movies, dammit! (August 13, 2004)
...put a fork in Chan, he's done! (August 11, 2004)
...where the f*ck is Chris Tucker? (August 5, 2004)
...gimme Leah Remini on the big screen! (August 3, 2004)
...I found your new bad boy! (July 20, 2004)
...check out the Trailer Park Boys! (July 16, 2004)
...gimme an Archie movie! (July 8, 2004)
...gimme more Hollywood bad boys! (July 2, 2004)
...gimme more money shots! (June 30, 2004)
...gimme dead dogs on film! (June 25, 2004)
...gimme more Timothy Hutton! (June 23, 2004)

Source: JoBlo.com
Tags: Hollywood

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