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C'mon Hollywood #60


...help Cruise get a new publicist!
by JoBlo

Listen, I’m as open-minded as an open-minded person can be. I actually totally respect Tom Cruise as an actor, and even consider him to be one of the three best actors of his generation, with a nice variety of roles, a great choice of directors, and an obvious sense for what audiences are looking for.

But what the f*ck has happened to the guy over the past 4-6 weeks, as he, the man behind the actor, has gone on a couch-hopping, Scientology-propping and psychiatry-bashing rant in almost every interview that he’s been able to get his hands on. Cruise claims that he has “always” been talking about this stuff, but Mr. Cruise -- as a fan -- I beg to differ, as you have never, ever come across as such an arrogant, close-minded and self-centered…well, jerk! It’s no secret that Cruise fired his long-time publicist, Pat Kingsley (who somehow made both Cruise and Nicole Kidman come out smelling like roses, after their divorce a few years ago), last year, and replaced her with Lee Anne DeVette (Cruise’s real-life sister and fellow Scientologist).

In my humble opinion, Ms. DeVette has done a horrible job of maintaining one of the best public images in show business -- in fact, she could likely win an award for the quickest and worst public make-over to any celebrity-- without picking up a hooker or whacking off in a porno theater. Heck, even then, both Hugh Grant and PeeWee Herman came out, accepted their misdeeds and the public was okay with that. Cruise, on the other hand, has apparently been receiving advice to keep knocking people like Brooke Shields and calling reporters like Matt Lauer (who was obviously just trying to get to the bottom of the issue) “glib” and “uninformed”. Meanwhile, Cruise provides “Entertainment Weekly” with an interview in which he is corrected on 2 points about the origins of psychiatry, a topic he apparently knows very well. Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Tom, Tom, Tom…allow me to speak for a generation of moviegoers out here, who love you as an actor, always appreciated your good humor and obvious intellect over the years, but now simply have ask you to…SHUT UP, ALREADY! You’re making a fool of yourself, and unless you change things up pretty quickly, I don’t see this getting better anytime soon.

Sure, WAR OF THE WORLDS still made major bank over the past weekend, but that was a “given”. It was the only big film opening on the huge July 4th weekend, it was directed by the great Steven Spielberg and it featured aliens taking over the world!! If that film didn’t make money…you were REALLY up shit’s creek. As of now, you’re still “okay”, thanks also to your quick-thinking and obvious cool when dealing with that putz who sprayed you with water as a “joke” at the London premiere of the film, but believe you me, the word on the street is that you are going nuts (see website called www.tomcruiseisnuts.com), and it doesn’t even have all that much to do with your “Katie love” couch-hopping bullshit.

It has to do with your one-sided view of psychiatry, and your inability to appreciate another side to the topic. How anyone in your position can’t appreciate that there are generally 2 sides to every story is beyond me. Then again, when Elvis got past a certain point in his career, he had nothing but “yes-men” around him, laughing at his lame jokes, agreeing to any cotton-pickin’ idea that he came up with in the middle of the night, with no one actually having the balls to say “King…that’s not really a good idea. Bacon and peanut butter??” It looks like Cruise is surrounded by “yes-men” (and women) and ever since he fired his publicist, isn’t being told whenever he’s acting the fool.

How can you tell anyone who has been diagnosed with a condition (yes, even psychiatry has shown x-rays of the brain of chemically imbalanced people), and taking a drug that has worked for them, that they are wrong? If the person couldn’t sleep at night because of panic attacks, spoke to a shrink, took a pill and can now, after 10 years of going through hell, sleep well at nights…how is that wrong, Tom? What is your answer to that? To take vitamins and exercise? Will that also resolve the psychological issues that a woman who was raped by her uncle still has to this day? Vitamins and exercise, eh? Dude, you’ve got a couple of decent points about the over-medication of American society and how too many children are being medicated before their time, but you should have stopped there.

You lost me at “Brooke Shields”.

What the f*ck do you know about postpartum depression? This woman wanted to kill her own baby after childbirth, and couldn’t get rid of thoughts of suicide and you’re saying that taking the drug that she took (which helped her completely) was wrong because…well, you’re Tom Cruise and you know better!? Stop saying that you “really care” for Brooke Shields, because if you did, you’d f*ckin’ give her a call, stop by and see her and talk this shit out. You’re a pinhead who’s bullying this poor woman around because you’re on your high horse right now and think that you’re the king-shit of all things psychiatric. The woman wanted to kill her child and now she doesn’t anymore!!. Do you really think that exercise and vitamins were gonna do that? If so, which ones? What exercises? Push-ups? Sit-ups?

YOU’RE the one who’s being irresponsible by spouting out all this shit and then getting into your limo and driving away.

People in the real world are dealing with these problems every day and don’t have the luxury of sitting around and hoping that “exercise and vitamins” will cure all. The sad part is that I actually agree with you on the most part. I went through a pretty bad health stint last year, during which I was prescribed a very heavy drug, which instead of helping me, made things much, much worse for me. It’s a drug that I most recently got off and I still have to deal with its side-effects. That said, I’m not going to generalize and say that all drugs prescribed to people are bad, and that psychiatrists aren’t “scientists” and that Brooke Shields is “misinformed”. I can only speak from my own experience, and the last time I checked, Mr. Cruise never went through postpartum depression himself, so why not leave that to the ladies, huh?

I’m not even gonna bust Tom’s balls over the whole “I’m in love with Katie” thing or all the stupid rumors about him being gay and all that. I don’t buy any of that shit, and you know what, if he’s in love and acting crazy because of that, that’s fine. But when you start spouting off about serious shit like psychiatry, drugs and children, you better have your shit in gear or you’re gonna look like an idiot, which is exactly what you’re looking like now. And I don’t give a shit what you say about over 150,000 positive letters that you’ve received from people, because it’s obvious that there are MILLIONS of other people who are disagreeing with you on all this, only you’re too conceited to admit to that (You only received positive letters, eh Tom?? Gimme a break!).

The truth is that there is not one poll in the world today that shows people liking you MORE than before you started spouting off at the mouth. Entertainment Weekly's poll showed that 63% of people like you LESS now than before, while our little informal JoBlo.com poll shows 85% of people liking you less. That’s a bad public image! And check out the current results over at TomCruiseIsNuts.com (granted, they might be a little biased over there, but still!!).

You may “not care” about what people think, but that’s a lie, since that’s essentially the reason for a publicist’s existence. If you didn’t care about what people thought, you wouldn’t have a publicist in the first place. The truth is that your public image is extremely important in the industry in which you make a career, and it’s taking a beating right now, as even huge Cruise fans like my sister’s best friend and Rosie f*ckin’ O’Donnell are turning their back on you, as you continue to put down almost everyone around you.

You are being arrogant, Tom.

You are not the “be all, end all” of opinions on psychiatry.

You are talking out of your ass half the time, despite looking like you know what you’re talking about.

My advice to you is to:

1) Fire your sister/publicist and re-hire Pat Kingsley or someone similar, who can actually kick you in the ass every now and again, and say “No Tom, that is not good, Tom…bad boy!!”

2) Do a one-hour live interview with someone like Barbara Walters or Larry King and answer every question directly, take back all of that arrogant shit you said about stuff you don’t know and speak from your experience (“In my humble opinion…”) and drop the “I know everything and you guys don’t” attitude. In fact, read a couple of my reviews and learn to be humble.

3) Take out a couple of pages in a magazine or something, formally apologize to Brooke Shields and all others who you might’ve insulted by your insensitive remarks about postpartum depression and explain your positions fully, without being pompous or arrogant about it.

And oh yeah, remember that there’s another side to every story, and stop bringing up “shock therapy” like that’s all psychiatry is about, since most patients who go through that actually 1) SIGN OFF on it, and 2) it only represents about 100,000 cases out of over 10,000,000 people who are treated by psychiatry every year. And if that’s so “barbaric”, I guess ripping into one chest’s for a heart operation is barbaric as well, right? Dude…we’re all just trying to get by in life…some “barbaric” things have to be done in order to get better.

Lastly, it has to be said that Tom’s religion of Scientology has a very integral part to it called “auditing” during which the person joining the religion sits down with a senior member and discusses their past, what bothers them, what hasn’t gone right in their life, etc… Hmmmmm, if I didn’t know any better, that sounds a whole goddamn lot like PSYCHIATRY!!! So let me get this straight, Tom, you don’t think it’s cool for my uncle to speak to a psychiatrist about his personal problems (because it’s not a “science”), but you’d sure as heck be cool with him coming into one of your Scientology sessions to be checked out, right??

Tom, Tom, Tom…

I don’t know what you’re doing, but whatever it is, you’re diggin’ a hole for yourself, and unless you actually believe that your personal convictions and opinions will not eventually affect your draw at the box-office, go ahead and continue spouting off at the mouth. I know one thing: I was a huge fan of your work, and even while I was watching WAR OF THE WORLDS, there were a couple of moments where I thought “This is the jerk who thinks he knows everything”, and it bugged me. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3?

Well, I’m sure that it will kick ass but let’s see how you handle yourself until then. Are you going to continue knocking women about their problems and forcing your half-assed opinions about psychiatry down everyone’s throats, or are you going to recognize the error of your public image ways, monitor your pie-hole, speak only about experiences that you’ve gone through yourself, personally…and leave the psychiatry and self-doctoring to the people who are actually having physical and psychological problems, as opposed to multi-millionaires who apparently “care” about everyone, as long as everyone listens and adheres to what they have to say.

I read once that Donald Trump would fire people in his company that would always say “yes” to him. He didn’t appreciate ass-kissers and wanted honesty. Tom…get your shit in gear, dude…you’re falling apart and we’ve all got front row seats.


...stop lying 'Entertainment Tonight'! (June 22, 2005)
...pick a new Bond already! (April 27, 2005)
...put on some weight! (April 13, 2005)
...Monica Bellucci as Wonder Woman!!! (April 8, 2005)
...directed by 'who gives a shit'! (April 7, 2005)
...improve your DVDs...strikes back! (March 30, 2005)
...Erika + Indiana ÷ Costner = fun³ (March 25, 2005)
...Xzibit is the shiznit!! (March 23, 2005)
...kiss them, they're Irish! (2/2) (March 17, 2005)
...kiss them, they're Irish! (1/2) (March 14, 2005)

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