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Awfully Good: 2001: A Space Travesty

04.17.2013

I keep hearing everyone say that SCARY MOVIE 5 is the worst spoof movie ever made. Clearly they've never seen…

2001: A Space Travesty (2000)

Director: Allan A. Goldstein
Stars: Leslie Nielsen, Ophélie Winter, Peter Egan

Aliens have replaced President Bill Clinton with an evil clone in the White House and only Detective Frank Drebin Marshall Dick Dix can stop them.

I should start off by saying that Leslie Nielsen is one of my favorite human beings to ever have existed. I was raised on AIRPLANE and the NAKED GUN series. Even in lesser films like SPY HARD and WRONGFULLY ACCUSED, Nielsen had a knack for making the stupidest gag funny just by virtue of being himself. I always believed his presence could automatically make any film worthwhile. Then I watched this movie.


The rarely seen Darth Maul photobomb.

2001: A SPACE TRAVESTY is without a doubt the worst spoof movie ever made. If you make it through this thing without running away, crying or shaking uncontrollably, there's something medically wrong with you. It's so bad, it makes Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg look like the Zuckers. Sure, MEET THE SPARTANS, DISASTER MOVIE, etc. blew goats on a consistent basis, but at worst they were only wasting random cast members from MadTV. Here director Allan Goldstein besmirches the good name of Frank Drebin, a crime that should be punishable by death. (Even Nielsen went on record saying this was the worst experience he ever had and called it his least favorite movie.)


That's what she said!

Watching even a few minutes of this dreck, it's easy to see just how desperately the filmmakers want it to be NAKED GUN in space. Instead of Frank Drebin, they give you Dick Dix. (Other characters include Cassandra Menage and Lieutenant Shitzu.) They force Nielsen to do his typical hard-boiled narration but without the funny. ("They were as guilty as jam lips kissing a fruit tart.") And almost the entire thing is made up of lame retreads of other gags and sequences from the beloved series–Nielsen clumsily fumbling around a laboratory, sneaking in to the bad guy's house and completely destroying everything, etc. The end even features a mind controlled baddie trying to kill a world leader.


The real Bill Clinton would never look at his own wife's cleavage.

To give you a taste of the caliber of humor you can expect in TRAVESTY, it starts with the Big Bang and the beginning of existence. As the narrator explains the cosmos we see that the moon is a giant butt, a white dwarf is actually a Caucasian midget and "hideous aliens" are Dennis Rodman, Michael Jackson and the band Kiss. Finally, it ends with the infamous "baby" shot from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY…except the fetus has Leslie Nielsen's head on it. It only gets worse from there.


I don't doubt that Leslie Nielsen was born with white hair.

Here's a list of things that are supposed to be funny in 2001: A SPACE TRAVESTY:

• Cameos from Bill and Hillary Clinton, Saddam Hussein, Madonna, Prince, Pope John Paul II, Hulk Hogan, George H.W. Bush, the Four Tenors and Groucho Marx. Keep in mind; this was released on home video in 2002. (At least Friedberg/Seltzer are timely.)
Leslie Nielsen farts in zero gravity and flies around a spaceship
• Aliens that sound like William Shatner, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jack Nicholson
• An alien that only goes to the bathroom once a year violently defecates all over one of the supporting characters.
• A woman says "A male lion can mate 45 times in 3 hours" and then attempts to seduce Leslie Nielsen while nature footage of lions having sex is shown
• You think a girl is fellating Leslie Nielsen but she's really just drinking a cappuccino on her knees directly in front of his crotch! (White foam mustache included.)
• Random sumo wrestlers squeeze Leslie Nielsen's head between their ass cheeks

Bill Clinton keeps pulling his pants down to show his birthmark, at which point the film cuts to 1950s footage of women screaming
• Hillary Clinton gets an ice cream cone down her boobs
• At an opera, the Pope says, "This isn't a rap concert!" and puts on a sideways cap
Leslie Nielsen gets random condoms stuck to his face for no reason
• The Four Tenors do an operatic version of the Village People classic "In The Navy"
• At the height of the final showdown, the Pope stands up and says, "God, give me a sign!" He then logs in to his AOL account and it says, "You've got mail."
• The epilogue involves Leslie Nielsen and his new girlfriend eating in a restaurant. He kills someone's pet bird, the lady makes an "I see dead people" joke and Elvis is randomly shown
• And that's not all… After the credits there's bonus Fart Outtakes!


Perhaps Leslie loved fart jokes a little too much.

I… I don't understand.

Leslie Nielsen gets seduced National Geographic-style and learns a lesson about farting in zero gravity. Plus, bonus farts!

Brief sideboob.


Nice beaver! Buy this movie here!

Take a shot or drink every time:
  • A fart or other bodily function happens
  • An alien looks or sounds like a celebrity
  • Someone gets hit in the crotch
  • A joke is made about Bill Clinton loving women
  • A toupee changes hands
  • You get déjà vu from another better movie
Double shot if:

Seen a movie that should be featured on this column? Shoot Jason an email or follow him on Twitter and give him an excuse to drink.

Extra Tidbit: Never one to miss a good fart joke, Leslie Nielsen's gravestone says, "Let 'er Rip."
Source: JoBlo.com

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7:11AM on 04/17/2013
Wow. I don't know which is worse - this or Mr. Magoo the movie that Nielsen starred in.
Wow. I don't know which is worse - this or Mr. Magoo the movie that Nielsen starred in.
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6:19AM on 04/17/2013
I tried watching this, but gave up. It made me sad seeing Nielsen in something so awful.
I tried watching this, but gave up. It made me sad seeing Nielsen in something so awful.
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