As JoBlo.com winds down our coverage from this year’s San Diego Comic Con (and the staff recovers from five straight nights of open bars), I bring you a very special edition of Awfully Good. There are always plenty of genre flicks and B-movies on the Con floor, as studios and distributors of all size seek attention (many times with the help of scantily clad ladies). While this year was fairly light on movie content of any caliber, I still found five upcoming flicks that would make great additions to this column.
I present our Awfully Good: Best of Comic-Con!
1. GINGERDEAD MAN 3-D: SATURDAY NIGHT CLEAVER
The original GINGERDEAD MAN remains one of my favorite movies from this column, partially because it has Gary Busey playing himself (homicidally insane) as the title character and also because it has a gun-toting cookie that says “Well, I sure ain’t the Pillsbury f*cking Doughboy!”
Like the second movie (PASSION OF THE CRUST), the third is missing the secret ingredient of Busey, but makes up for it by getting even more outlandish than its initial premise. Hint: Time travel! The filmmakers send Gingerdead Man back to the 1970s to wreak cookie cutter havoc in an all-new polyester-prrone decade. From what I saw there was a little Hannibal Lecter, a little rollerboogie and what can only be described as a Gingerdead Man Glory Hole. Can’t wait to get baked in 3D and watch this!
2. EVIL BONG 3-D: THE WRATH OF BONG
Because I love you all, we’ve also done EVIL BONG for this column. While I unfortunately haven’t seen the sequel, KING BONG, it seems the same inept college students from the first movie head to the Amazon to visit the Poontang Tribe and defeat the bong to end all bongs. Where can you possibly go from there? The same place all movie franchises eventually go—space!
Well, kinda. In WRATH OF BONG, a piece of alien drug paraphernalia lands on earth and falls in to the hands of the same stoner teens. Soon they discover ET Bong’s plan to smoke out Earth and have no choice but to venture to the bongs’ home planet (are you still with me here?) and defeat them before they defeat us. The movie also promises naked alien chicks in special “Boner 3D” (their words, not mine). While Full Moon Pictures did special 3D screenings of WRATH OF BONG in a few cities on 4/20, you’ll get to see it on DVD in September.
3. KILLER EYE: HALLOWEEN HAUNT
The original 1999 KILLER EYE is another classic from Full Moon Pictures. It is literally about a disconnected mutant eyeball infused with an evil spirit from another dimension. Except this corneal killer doesn’t just enjoy murdering people. No, this eyeball is horny too! I don’t want to get in to how that even works, but let’s say you’ll never look at your optic nerve the same way again.
While it’s been over a decade since the first film, according to the Full Moon booth, a sequel is finally underway, with original director Charles Band behind the camera. This time the killer eye is back, still ravenous and randy as ever, as it “terrorizes a fun group of hot chicks as they set up a Halloween haunt in an old mansion.” There’s an entire cast of attractive young ladies ready to get their retinas raped including “Catalina, a brunette bombshell and full blown lesbian with a drop-dead body that would stop traffic and who is always on the make, trying to convert women to her team.” (Who’s the lucky PR person who gets to write stuff like this?) The planned October 2011 release date can’t get here fast enough.
4. BONNIE AND CLYDE VS. DRACULA
Okay, so there may have been a teeny bit of drinking done during the Con. I’m not blaming that per se, but I honestly don’t recall how I heard about BONNIE AND CLYDE VS. DRACULA. It might’ve been a poster at a booth, an ad somebody was handing out, or someone somewhere flat out just told me about it, but all I know is the title hit my radar in San Diego this week and hasn’t left it since.
The gangster-horror mash up sounds like a blast and judging by the trailer, seems to feature a sexified Bonnie played by scream queen Tiffany Shepis and a character named Dr. Loveless that looks like he belongs in a Rob Zombie movie. They also seem to be playing the premise fairly straight, which should make the movie even better/worse. BONNIE AND CLYDE VS. DRACULA is available now.
5. CHILLERAMA
Our very own Jim Law caught a screening of this bizarre, gross-out anthology from some of horror’s best indie filmmakers, like Adam Green (HATCHET), Tim Sullivan (2001 MANIACS), Joe Lynch (WRONG TURN 2) and Adam Rifkin (LOOK). According to the The Law, the movie lives up to its caliber of talent, and delivers some serious Awfully Goodness along the way. (If you ever get a chance to listen to the “Lost Podcast,” you may get to hear our full in-depth drunk discussion.)
I’m not sure where to start. The first thing that piqued my interest was when Jim said the words “killer giant sperm.” That would be the big baddie that terrorizes the populace in Rifkin’s segment WADZILLA. (“The amount of sperm in this film is astounding.” Sold?) Then came talk of Sullivan’s gay horror opus I WAS A TEENAGE WEREBEAR, which features “musical numbers, anal rape, exploding heads, werebear cock, and the gayest sport scene on a beach since TOP GUN.” It was at this point that I almost blacked out. I managed to make out something about Adam Green’s DIARY OF ANNE FRANKENSTEIN with its use of Jewish zombies, Joel David Moore as Hitler and gibberish German. I then decided that CHILLERAMA was my most anticipated movie coming out of Comic Con. It (hopefully) comes out this fall.
The Full Moon Pictures booth, featuring Gingerdead Man, Evil Alien Bong, Killer Eye, Puppet Master and more!./p>
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