Awfully Good: Bikini Bloodbath Christmas

Bikini Bloodbath Christmas (2009)

Director: Jonathan Gorman, Thomas Edward Seymour
Stars: Rachel Robbins, Dick Boland, Lloyd Kaufman

Is there a plot?

The scantily clad workers at competing bong and sandwich shops find themselves once again being killed off by the undead serial killer known as Chef Death. Also, it's Christmas time.

What's the damage?

Okay, one last Christmas-themed movie. Promise. I couldn’t leave 2010 with the rancid taste of CHRISTMAS VACATION 2 in my mouth. Plus, if you recall my SANTA PAWS review, I originally planned on kickstarting the month with BIKINI BLOODBATH CHRISTMAS. So ho ho ho, let’s finish what we started.

With a trained eye, one can always spot the work of a sharter.

I have a love-hate relationship with the BIKINI BLOODBATH series. I know what creators Jonathan Gorman and Thomas Edward Seymour are going for, and I respect their willingness to embrace the B-movie horror genre and go for over the top, crazy shenanigans. But it’s a treacherous tightrope purposefully making a bad movie, especially one balancing scares and comedy; you go too far and it’s too bad to be enjoyable, or you don’t go far enough and it's not worth our time. The last two BIKINI BLOODBATH’s started out fun but tended to lose my interest about halfway through. Maybe it’s this giving time of year, but I thought BIKINI BLOODBATH CHRISTMAS had a little more to offer.

Ho ho ho…ho!

Overall it’s not that different from previous entries in the serious. It’s no-budget horror and it wears that distinction proudly on its sleeve. There's an inherent anarchic silliness here that works to parody certain aspects of the genre and character stereotypes. Whether it's weird characters like a girl named Willem Dafoe and a guy named Geena Davis, or a series of incredibly random but appreciated KRULL references, this time it was clear we're in the presence of actual movie geeks. Cameos from Troma legend Lloyd Kaufman and B-movie queen Debbie Rochon also add a decent amount of legitimacy to the proceedings, even if the latter was relegated to a coma for most of her screentime after a starring role in BIKINI BLOODBATH CARWASH. And the movie definitely lives up to the promise of nudity in its title, with extended shower and changing sequences, abrupt lesbian characters and random games of strip poker. There's also a very revealing flashback sequence that let's you know the filmmakers are definitely in on the joke.

Better than the CLASH OF THE TITANS remake.

BIKINI BLOODBATH CHRISTMAS still feels kind of lazy (perhaps out of necessity due to the budget), with cheap gross out gags and situations and even footage recycled from the previous movies. (I knew I'd seen that bathroom kill before!) And there’s still some stuff here that’s more annoying than entertaining. The Mrs. Doubtfire-like drag queen played by Dick Boland had the occasional good line, but would've been much more effective in smaller doses, while things like the Santa fight and the overuse of musical montages were clearly put in place to add running time and nothing more. (It still barely hits 70 minutes.) However, overall this didn’t become a chore to sit through. Even the parts that missed the mark seemed to embrace being “boring.” There's literally a segment where two characters sit there and do nothing that actually had me chuckling after a while.

Good point!

It's not an Awfully Good movie for everyone, but if you dig B-grade horror or even Troma movies, there should be something for you here.


"Best" Line

Three great random lines.

"Best" Parts

1) Although long and ultimately unnecessary, I think you'll agree that this is perhaps the best flashback sequence ever. (NSFW)

2) This clip is definitely not for the squeamish, as it involves a rectum, a hammer and about 40 to 50 feet of lower intestine. Also, poo. (NSFW)

Nudity Watch

Lots of topless girls to fill your stocking!


Await BIKINI BLOODBATH GHOST TOWN! Buy this movie here!

Play Along at Home!

Take a shot or drink every time:

  • A real actor is name dropped
  • A musical montage wastes time
  • A fat joke is made
  • Something involving poop happens

Double shot if:

  • A HIGHLANDER reference is made
  • White Liger!


Seen a movie that should be featured on this column? Shoot Jason an email and give him an excuse to drink.

Source: Digital Dorm
Tags: awfully good



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