Awfully Good: Getting Lucky + Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves
In honor of ANT-MAN, we look at the best/worst shrinking scene in history…
Getting Lucky (1990)
Director: Michael Paul Girard
Stars: Steven Cooke, Lezlie Z. McCraw, Rick McDowell
A nerdy high schooler meets a drunken leprechaun who gives him three wishes, one of which may or may not involve him shrinking himself down and getting trapped in his girlfriend's panties.
If you don't remember GETTING LUCKY, don't feel bad. This Troma-produced movie was allegedly shot in two weeks with amateur cast and crew (many of whom never worked again), so I doubt the people involve even remember it. As for me, I recall it airing on USA's Up All Night when I was younger, and there's one scene in particular I've never forgotten.
You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.
The sex comedy opens with a low angle shot of cheerleaders jumping and dancing above the camera, for no reason other than to show off their underwear. Keep this in mind, because it's an important plot point for later. (Or whatever constitutes a plot point in this movie.) We then are introduced to the film's protagonist Bill, perhaps the least likable main character in any film ever. Bill is a nerd and a disgustingly nice guy, who's always talking about being honest with people, doing the right thing, and saving the planet. At one point he even discusses recycling his pornography. Anyways, one of the drinking game rules is to take a shot any time you want to punch Bill in the face, so good luck with that.
Sex education in schools turned out exactly how Republicans feared.
Bill is soon rewarded for his annoying environmentalism when he tries to recycle a beer bottle and discovers a tiny leprechaun inside named Lepkey. Lepkey is trapped in the bottle because he got drunk and has to grant three wishes before the "Spirit of the Goblins" will let him out. Or at least that's what lazy excuse the filmmakers came up with to explain the plot. After wishing for world peace (shot down because it's toolame) and a Ferrari (ends up being a Pinto because Lepkey was drunk), Bill decides to ask for a date with Krissi, a cheerleader with whom he has an obsessive crush. Of course, since this is a movie, Krissi is hooking up with Tony, the bully who understandably torments Bill because he's always cockblocking him. Anyways, Lepkey's wish is once again only partially granted, when Krissi asks Bill out, but only as a cover so she can see Tony without angering her over-protective mother. And of course, since this is a movie, once Krissi spends time with Bill she learns that it's what's on the inside that counts.
The Curious George porn parody featured the Man in the Yellow Shorts.
Bill and Krissi start dating for real, which GETTING LUCKY uses as an opportunity to waste as much time as possible. They go to a drive-in and the film repeatedly displays what's on the screen for an inordinate amount of time. They go on what feels like a real-time mini golf date while a cheesy ballad "Your Heart Makes a Hole in One" (one many original songs written for the movie by the director) plays, and another while they pick up trash on the side of the road. Even the sex scenes are painfully dragged out (with hilariously bad dubbing).
That proctologist sure was running quite a racket.
However, the aforementioned best part of GETTING LUCKY is the extended sequence where Bill shrinks down and goes for the ride of his life in Krissi's panties. Yes, nearly 15 minutes of this 80 minute movie is dedicated to this amazingly unnecessary, poorly budgeted sub-plot. Bill is trying to fix Krissi's bike, but doesn't have the right size wrench. He uses one of his wishes to shrink the tool, but Lepkey (drunk again) accidentally shrinks him along with it. Now the size of Hank Pym on the Krissi's bike seat, Bill is squished in to her undergarments when she rides the bike to school. In case you were wondering if the filmmakers saved all their money for these special effects—they didn’t. Krissi's panties are clearly giant bedsheets and her pubic hair (yes, it gets that graphic) are black rubber hoses, which I guess means she's not a natural blonde. If that wasn't ridiculous enough, the director throws in another of his original tunes, the on-the-nose "We Can't Get Much Closer Than This."
I wonder if this guy climbing through fake pubes put this movie on his resume...
The stranded, shrrunken Bill attempts to climb up his girlfriend's pubis in order to escape to an area that's safe to enlarge himself. Unfortunately (for him at least), just as he reaches the top of her undergarments he inadvertently gives her an orgasm during history class and slips and slides his way back down. A normal movie would stop here and go about its way. Not GETTING LUCKY. Krissi goes to cheerleader practice, letting us watch as Bill is violently and gloriously bounced around her hoohah. And then, as if this all wasn't gratuitous enough, Krissi goes to the locker room with her teammates for a group shower. Like a scene out of a disaster movie, our hero holds on for dear life to his unshaven girlfriend's lengthy pubes as tidal waves of water rains down upon him. He gets washed away and is about to go down the drain when he manages to grab ahold of a piece of soap… which a random girl then picks up and begins to wash her chest with. Yes, poor Bill is forcibly rubbed in to a pair of giant soapy breasts in what is truly a stunning achievement for both cinema and humanity.
2 Chainz needed to change his name to fit his new stage persona but couldn't think of anything.
This sequence alone is enough for me to suggest you seek out and watch GETTING LUCKY as soon as you can, but there is plenty more to enjoy in this underrated B-movie classic. I haven't even gotten to the third act, which involves a random police investigation subplot, Krissi and Bill deciding to get married after having known each other about a week ("I've been reading Brooke Shields autobiography and I think she's right about staying a virgin until our wedding night."), and the return of Tony, who—recovering from having a tennis racquet shoved up his ass and being arrested for rape (long story)— shows up to kidnap Krissi on her honeymoon. I won't spoil the ridiculous, action packed finale, but lets just say it may or may not involve a random Mongolian warrior majestically riding on two horses. Truly amazing.
Who hired all these crew members? Hugh Jorgen? Jenny Tahlia?
Every single one of these is gold. I will be inserting "Where's justice?!" in to my everyday vocabulary.
The best of Bill's shrunken adventure inside a girl's panties. (NSFW)
Gratuitous locker room and shower scenes for everyone!
Take a shot or drink every time:
- You want to punch Bill in the face
- Bill makes a wish
- There's a low angle shot of some sort
- A scene is poorly dubbed
- Bill recycles
Double shot if:
- Towel Boy cockblocks someone
But wait! There's more! We've also got a new Awfully Good Movies video column this week as well, featuring none other than the straight-to-video sequel HONEY, WE SHRUNK OURSELVES. With Marvel's ANT-MAN hitting theaters this week it seemed only fitting to venture into this micro flick starring the ever-lovable Rick Moranis. Enjoy!