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Awfully Good: Movie 43

Jul. 31, 2013by: Jason Adams

Movie 43 (2013)

Director: Various
Stars: A bunch of famous people afraid to admit it

No.

Someday someone will make a documentary on MOVIE 43. They'll trace the history of the idea, chronicle the number of farts written in to the script, and they'll gather the incredible cast together and find out how they were each coerced, bribed or blackmailed in to participating. And I will be the first person to watch it, because I am fascinatednay, obsessedwith this movie. I want to know why Hugh Jackman agreed to wear testicles on his chin and teabag a baby. I need the reasoning behind letting Richard Gere finger the vaginal fan of a female iPod. For the love of God, someone tell me how Halle Berry said "Yes!" to making guacamole with her naked breast

I'm going to get a lot of crap for this, but I don't hate this movie. I don't think it's some hidden gem that people will discover and appreciate years from now, but I also don't find it to be the cinematic disaster everyone and their mother claimed it was. I'm sorry; anyone saying this is the worst movie they've ever seen hasn't watched a lot of movies. I'll admit I laughed occasionally throughout, but overall MOVIE 43 is more "interesting" than "good," just for the shock value of seeing so many big stars potentially embarrass themselves and harm their careers. To be fair it looks like most of them are having fun letting loose and doing something mindless. Not to mention, there are a handful of real life couples here (Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts, Anna Faris and Chris Pratt, Emma Stone and Kieran Culkin) that probably just wanted a chance to work together for a few days.

The Zucker-Abrams' KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE was one of my favorite films growing up and I've been waiting years for another comedy anthology movie. While this is more AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON than KFM, it's pretty much what I expected from a Farrelly Brothers-produced shorts filmlow brow humor, fart jokes and gross out gags. Sometimes it's a bit much, but it's not like MOVIE 43 isn't completely aware of how stupid and disgusting it is. ("The neck balls are just a metaphor!" is said within the first 10 minutes.) And I have to give credit to the filmmakers and actors for just going for it. When they commit to something dumb or disgusting in a skit they really go for it. (I'm looking at you, Beezel.)

Some skits, like Stone and Culkin's "Veronica" or the Elizabeth Banks-directed "Middle School Date," are completely worthless, but a handful are decent, funny ideasif not just poorly executed. (Like Saturday Night Live, none of them seem to know how to end.) It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but to me MOVIE 43 is better than Aaron Seltzer-Jason Friedberg's entire filmography. Hell, I'm pretty sure I'd watch this over any lazy Adam Sandler comedy.

If you haven't seen MOVIE 43 and want to know what you're in for, here's a recap of the various shorts:

THE PITCH

This overarching story that bookends each skit is pretty pointless and unfunny, but Greg Kinnear is a good proxy for the audience as a movie studio executive being forced to experience the movie at gunpoint and reacting accordingly.

THE CATCH

Oscar-winner Kate Winslet goes on a blind date with Hugh Jackman, who is the perfect manexcept for the apparent scrotal sack he has dangling from his jaw. You can expect every ball gag in the book, from teabagging to shrinkage, all starring some very serious actors.

HOMESCHOOLED

One of the better shorts, this one sees Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber as parents who want their homeschooled son to have the typical high school experience, which means getting bullied, rejected, humiliated, and [gulp] lucky.

THE PROPOSITION

Anna Faris pops the above question to her boyfriend Chris Pratt. What follows is simply the most juvenile and unsubtle scatological humor you can imagine. Although it is nice to see the return of TurboLax from DUMB AND DUMBER.

VERONICA

Ex-lovers Emma Stone and Kieran Culkin talk dirty to each other at a supermarket. Probably the worst of the bunch.

SUPERHERO SPEED DATING

This is essentially a remake/spinoff of the popular 2005 short "Robin's Big Date," starring Sam Rockwell and Justin Long. (Same director too.) Here you get Long returning as Robin, Jason Sudeikis as Batman, Uma Thurman as Lois Lane, Bobby Carnavale as Superman, Kristen Bell as Supergirl, John Hodgman as the Penguin and Leslie Bibb as Wonder Woman. It doesn't completely live up to its star-studded potential (i.e. more "bush" jokes than clever superhero gags), but the cast tries their best.

iBABE

This probably would've been funny when they started making this movie 10 years ago, but iPod jokes are a bit dated now. The premise is that Richard Gere, Kate Bosworth and the rest of their corporate team are re-evaluating their flagship productan MP3 player shaped like a naked woman that keeps mangling the fingers and penises of horny teenage boys.

MIDDLE SCHOOL DATE
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Chloe Moretz gets her first period and freaks out her boyfriend, McLovin and Patrick Warburton. Not much else to it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Another solid one. Johnny Knoxville gets his friend Seann William Scott an incapacitated leprechaun for his birthday so they can try to scam him out of his gold. Gerard Butler's foul mouthed leprechaun is probably the best part of this entire movie, so enjoy it while you can.

TRUTH OR DARE

Directed by Peter Farrelly, this short feels most like a Farrelly Bros. movie and stars Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant as a couple that makes their first date memorable by daring each other to do more and more ridiculous stuff. The game escalates pretty quickly, so I don't want to spoil all of the gags, but let's say giant fake breasts and a member of the "Jersey Shore" get involved.

VICTORY'S GLORY

Before they face their first racially integrated game, Coach Terrence Howard tries to give his African American basketball team a pep talk by stating the obvious. An amusing joke stretched out for five minutes.

BEEZEL

This one is by far my favorite. Directed by James Gunn (SLITHER, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY), it feels like a typical Gunn flick dark, shocking and hilarious. It tells the story of a girlfriend (Elizabeth Banks) trying to live with her boyfriend and his vengeful cartoon cat who wants her out of the picture. Again, I won't ruin all the good parts, but you get to see the animated feline pleasuring itself to pictures of Josh Duhamel in a swimsuit, as well as do something despicable with a stuffed bear and a hairbrush. Wrong, but so right.

There are also a few commercials here and there, a couple of which are actually pretty funny.

Enjoy Emma Stone and Kieran Culkin with a serious case of potty mouth.

Clips from five of the better skits, including Hugh Jackman's chinballs, Halle Berry playing truth or dare, Elizabeth Banks vs. a cartoon cat, Chris Pratt letting it all out for Anna Faris, and a funny commercial. (NSFW)

Some naked iBabes and Halle Berry's enormous fake breasts.


Don't get this confused with the baseball movie 42! Buy this movie here!

Take a shot or drink every time:
  • There is a fart or other bodily function
  • Someone says "balls"
  • Someone says "mangled"
  • There is nudity
Double shot if:
  • A celebrity embarrasses him/herself

Seen a movie that should be featured on this column? Shoot Jason an email or follow him on Twitter and give him an excuse to drink.

Source: JoBlo.com

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9:33PM on 07/31/2013
I love Kentucky Fried Movie!

I've been reading mixed reviews on this movie, but I think I'm gonna give it a go.
I love Kentucky Fried Movie!

I've been reading mixed reviews on this movie, but I think I'm gonna give it a go.
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4:24PM on 07/31/2013
Buddy and I watched this while morning drinking one weekend. Laughed our asses off. Can't think of any other scenario where I may have enjoyed it though.
Buddy and I watched this while morning drinking one weekend. Laughed our asses off. Can't think of any other scenario where I may have enjoyed it though.
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+4
1:50PM on 07/31/2013
Have to admit I chuckled at Hugh Jackman with balls on his chin and that Tampax commercial. Otherwise, this looks awful.
Have to admit I chuckled at Hugh Jackman with balls on his chin and that Tampax commercial. Otherwise, this looks awful.
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1:25PM on 07/31/2013

I think you're lying, hoping to get lots of replies.

You know this movie was atrociously bad.
You know this movie was atrociously bad.
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1:19PM on 07/31/2013
Still a better story than Twilight!
Still a better story than Twilight!
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12:31PM on 07/31/2013
Hollywood has consistently lost the quality-battle to foreign movies for the last decade, but they still can't be beaten in sheer stupidity. Just when you think White Chicks can't be beaten, along comes Norbit. Only to be surpassed by Jack and Jill. And now this piece of garbage.

Idiocracy wasn't a movie, it was a futuristic documentary.
Hollywood has consistently lost the quality-battle to foreign movies for the last decade, but they still can't be beaten in sheer stupidity. Just when you think White Chicks can't be beaten, along comes Norbit. Only to be surpassed by Jack and Jill. And now this piece of garbage.

Idiocracy wasn't a movie, it was a futuristic documentary.
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12:25PM on 07/31/2013
Hollywood has consistently lost the quality-battle to foreign movies for the last decade, but they still can't be beaten in sheer stupidity. Just when you think White Chicks can't be beaten, along comes Norbit. Only to be surpassed by Jack and Jill. And now this piece of garbage.

Idiocracy wasn't a movie, it was a futuristic documentary.
Hollywood has consistently lost the quality-battle to foreign movies for the last decade, but they still can't be beaten in sheer stupidity. Just when you think White Chicks can't be beaten, along comes Norbit. Only to be surpassed by Jack and Jill. And now this piece of garbage.

Idiocracy wasn't a movie, it was a futuristic documentary.
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10:57AM on 07/31/2013
This movie was beyond deplorable, I just watched those clips again and felt nothing but pain.
This movie was beyond deplorable, I just watched those clips again and felt nothing but pain.
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10:26AM on 07/31/2013
In a 'good' and 'funny' fashion, this sucks a lot! All the sketches are too long, and actors/ actresses having fun does not translate to a good performance. A few of them are almost okay (the leprechaun one, and IMO, the best of the bunch was the Emma Stone/ Kerian Culkin), but 98% of the jokes are too obvious or have no real payoff. Plus, the wraparound story is god awful!

In a more 'OMG! How did this happen?', interesting sort of way, yeah, this is bizarrely watchable. And yes, all of
In a 'good' and 'funny' fashion, this sucks a lot! All the sketches are too long, and actors/ actresses having fun does not translate to a good performance. A few of them are almost okay (the leprechaun one, and IMO, the best of the bunch was the Emma Stone/ Kerian Culkin), but 98% of the jokes are too obvious or have no real payoff. Plus, the wraparound story is god awful!

In a more 'OMG! How did this happen?', interesting sort of way, yeah, this is bizarrely watchable. And yes, all of Friedberg/ Seltzer's films are way, way worse than this, partially due to how little those crimes against humanity actually try to be original. If nothing else, 'Movie 43' is very original.
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+2
9:13AM on 07/31/2013
I need more Leslie Bibb and Kristen Bell dressed as Wonder Woman and Supergirl. That's it, nothing more.
I need more Leslie Bibb and Kristen Bell dressed as Wonder Woman and Supergirl. That's it, nothing more.
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+6
8:25AM on 07/31/2013

NO!

Movie 43 is all awful and no good! Period.
Movie 43 is all awful and no good! Period.
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3:25AM on 07/31/2013

It was so bad that I am depressed that you just made it come back to me :(

I rented Movie 43, and it took a couple days for me to finally sit down and watch it. Well, I finally did... and I was surprised at how funny it was thus far. The Ballchinian Hugh Jackman vignette was shockingly hilarious to me. I don't normally like that kind of humor, but it hit the funny bone for myself, and it got funnier and funnier!

And after that, I have no idea the turn of events. I'm pretty sure the next vignette was the Homeschooling one, which I also thought was damn funny,
I rented Movie 43, and it took a couple days for me to finally sit down and watch it. Well, I finally did... and I was surprised at how funny it was thus far. The Ballchinian Hugh Jackman vignette was shockingly hilarious to me. I don't normally like that kind of humor, but it hit the funny bone for myself, and it got funnier and funnier!

And after that, I have no idea the turn of events. I'm pretty sure the next vignette was the Homeschooling one, which I also thought was damn funny, and it earned its laughs with more effort for sure. I didn't like it when they taped the son to the flagpole and rubbed excrement all over him, but other than that I thought that was a solid vignette.

The other ones I enjoyed:

Terrence Howard basketball one
Dare War (though I'm guessing it was funniest as a shock value one-time viewing...)
Beezel the Cat

Other than that, the movie is total shit all-around. Literally, in the case of the Anna Faris part. Ugh. Makes me feel sick just thinking of how bad the movie gets. I mean I don't think I've ever seen a rock bottom like this. The movie is pretty much worthless aside from those skits I mentioned as enjoyable, but I don't even recommend them... because you might hate them a lot!

One fun thing was the random commercials they had in-between segments... the Tampax one with the shark, and the one about orphans inside vending machines... those were hilarious. Reminded me of Chappelle's Show, actually.

Beezel the Cat was the best note to end on, and it was quite a funny note indeed.

You know, this post might be giving off more of a positive impression than the negative one I wished to convey, but make no mistake: this movie is pure dog shit. The stuff I'm mentioning is probably 27% of the whole movie. If less than 1/3 of a movie is worth a purchase to you, go ahead and have a field day.

And on a final note, I don't know how these actors were coerced into doing this trash. Most of the cast is used to cinematic shitstorms, but none of their prior films are even close to being this horrendous. Emma Stone and Chle Grace Moretz were the two people involved that I was physically ill about. Both wonderful actresses that I've never seen bad performances or films from, but they decide to do this? It dirties up their whole image... :( Sad... so sad.
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1:03AM on 07/31/2013
I probably will never be able to see this bottom of the barrel garbage as "so bad it's good". The print I saw had a different overarching story, called "the thread" and about three kids searching for a banned film called Movie 43, and coming across clips of each of the short films on the internet. All the talent involved...a critic said signing on for this film is like collecting a Razzie in person. A paycheck is a paycheck, never been clearer than here.
I probably will never be able to see this bottom of the barrel garbage as "so bad it's good". The print I saw had a different overarching story, called "the thread" and about three kids searching for a banned film called Movie 43, and coming across clips of each of the short films on the internet. All the talent involved...a critic said signing on for this film is like collecting a Razzie in person. A paycheck is a paycheck, never been clearer than here.
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