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Awfully Good Movies: Zoom - Academy for Superheroes (Video)

03.01.2017

Zoom: Academy for Superheroes (2006)
Director: Peter Hewitt
Stars: Tim Allen, Courteney Cox, Kate Mara

With Hugh Jackman baring his adamantium claws for one final time this weekend in LOGAN, it’s time to revisit this unsuccessful attempt to copy the X-MEN franchise: ZOOM: ACADEMY FOR SUPERHEROES, starring Tim Allen, Courteney Cox and Chevy Chase! If Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters was your first choice for a mutant academy, and Sky High was your pick for a safety school, think of Zoom’s Academy for Superheroes as the low-rent community college you’re forced to pick after both those schools reject you. Here at the Zoom Academy, you’ll be trained by a goateed Tim Allen to use your mutant powers for...playing baseball...getting paintballs shot at you...using a UFO to go pick up some food at Wendy’s...electrocuting Chevy Chase with lightning...uhh, look, I’m not gonna lie, the Zoom Academy has gone through some pretty drastic budget cuts. But I promise you, at the very end of the movie, you will get to actually fight a bad guy and do some cool X-Men shit. Of course, that depends on your definition of “cool X-Men shit”. *Sigh*...look, I’m not gonna lie to you, the only one in this school who has a chance of doing anything after graduation is Kate Mara, and even she’s gonna end up in that shitty FANTASTIC FOUR reboot in another nine years. I’ll be honest, kid, you had a better chance at becoming a VCR repairman at that Sally Struthers correspondence school than you do here at becoming a superhero.

And if you want to enroll in the Awfully Good Movies Academy for Bad Movies, apply today at one of these participating YouTube links...

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Extra Tidbit: In the movies, Tim Allen has acted as a surrogate father to two future Jimmy Olsens: here, it's BATMAN V SUPERMAN's Michael Cassidy, while in JUNGLE 2 JUNGLE, it was Sam Huntington from SUPERMAN RETURNS. Also, if you look at the movie's poster, you'll notice a big fuck-up: Tim Allen is clean-shaven on the cover, while he sports a goatee in the actual movie. Why did they let this obvious mistake go unfixed on the poster? Well, to quote MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: They just didn't care.
Source: JoBlo.com

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