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Check out these new posters from Cannes 2012, including the worst Nic Cage photoshop ever

05.18.2012

Ah, Cannes. You are almost as weird as the San Diego Comic Con, except with 100% more Europeans. Every year the global film industry descends on the French town and premieres their films while little independent companies try to sell their movies to anyone who will write a check. Amongst those real Hollywood caliber movies you do get some trash. The movies are of varying quality but the craftsmanship of the posters is even more skewed. Anyone with Photoshop and five minutes looks like they have a poster at Cannes this year. Take a look at a handful of them below.

This poster for the Robert De Niro/John Travolta flick KILLING SEASON looks like a standard Hollywood poster.  But, if you look closely, you can see Travolta is sporting an Amish beard.  Plus, when the hell will a bow and arrow defeat a gun?

BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP is a great book that will make an excellent movie.  The poster does not give away much about the plot (a woman loses her memories and thinks her husband may be trying to kill her.) but it does put Nicole Kidman at the forefront.  I like this poster.  it is simple and yet intriguing.

The first of the Nicolas Cage posters, this one is blatantly photoshopped.  There is no tag line or any information aside from Cage's huge noggin.  These usually do not give the viewer confidence that the movie is any good.  Next.

More Nic Cage?  More Photoshop?  But, this one has explosions!  This poster is a clear rip off of the TAKEN marketing down to the tag line and title font.  Oh, Nic Cage, haven't you paid your tax bills off yet?

We posted an article about this one a while back.  The lovely Genesis Rodriguez is nowhere to be seen on this poster (pity), but the simple imagery does convey a nice tone.  The tag line is a bit cheezy, but still a decent image.

The third and final Nic Cage poster is an absolute abomination.  Whoever made this poster should be ashamed of themselves.  I crap better posters than this.  There is zero excuse for this.  The gun is too big, the head is too small, and Cage never had mucles like that in his life.  I am not even sure what it means by the word "execute"  Is he killing everyone in MARBLE CITY or is it just a really poor English translation?

Let me know if you stumble across any awful Cannes posters yourselves. I would love to see if anything can be worse than MARBLE CITY.

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10:46PM on 05/21/2012

LOL I just notice the paul walker one...

WTF is he holding a rock or a baby's head? LOL.... who made these fucking things seriously a deformed two year old. I will keep commenting on these because it makes my day everytime I revist it.
WTF is he holding a rock or a baby's head? LOL.... who made these fucking things seriously a deformed two year old. I will keep commenting on these because it makes my day everytime I revist it.
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+0
7:30AM on 05/21/2012
i must say, these are some of the worst movie posters i have ever seen...
...and the marble city one? Oh my God!!!
absolutely appalling.
although, i find that killing season is not that bad, i kind of like it.
i must say, these are some of the worst movie posters i have ever seen...
...and the marble city one? Oh my God!!!
absolutely appalling.
although, i find that killing season is not that bad, i kind of like it.
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2:45AM on 05/21/2012
Marble City. Now we just need a re-release of New Jack City and we could have a game my friends.
Marble City. Now we just need a re-release of New Jack City and we could have a game my friends.
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6:32PM on 05/20/2012
I hope we'll see a Marble City trailer before The Expendables 2.
I hope we'll see a Marble City trailer before The Expendables 2.
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5:12PM on 05/20/2012
WTF ? Those look like fake posters for movies that'll never exist.
WTF ? Those look like fake posters for movies that'll never exist.
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12:06PM on 05/20/2012
Each Nick Cage poster kept getting gradually worse as i went down the page, in the second one he looks like he's having a stroke mid-action scene. The third one is freekin unreal, from what I can make out its a movie about full body transplants and comically oversized guns, looking forward to reactions on joblo podcast
Each Nick Cage poster kept getting gradually worse as i went down the page, in the second one he looks like he's having a stroke mid-action scene. The third one is freekin unreal, from what I can make out its a movie about full body transplants and comically oversized guns, looking forward to reactions on joblo podcast
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+5
8:41PM on 05/19/2012
When will a bow and arrow defeat a gun?
1. When the shell casing jams in the slide.
2. When your gun falls in water and the rounds get wet.
3. When you use up all 10 rounds from your government mandated 10 round clip.
4. When your hammer pin is lose and fails to strike the casing.
5. When you forget to turn on your safety lock.
When will a bow and arrow defeat a gun?
1. When the shell casing jams in the slide.
2. When your gun falls in water and the rounds get wet.
3. When you use up all 10 rounds from your government mandated 10 round clip.
4. When your hammer pin is lose and fails to strike the casing.
5. When you forget to turn on your safety lock.
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6:05PM on 05/19/2012
That last poster is real?!?!?!?!
That last poster is real?!?!?!?!
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6:00PM on 05/19/2012

I'm going to write a comedy script for Nic Cage

It's about an actor, forced to pay IRS bills, stars in a series of increasingly ridiculous and awful films. Comedy gold, people.
It's about an actor, forced to pay IRS bills, stars in a series of increasingly ridiculous and awful films. Comedy gold, people.
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4:25PM on 05/19/2012

???

On IMDB said marble city costed this much to make $18,000,000 (estimated) well somewhere around that since it is estimated, but still with that much cash you can afford to make a decent cool poster WTF? Like seriously nick cage looks like a fuckin video game character out of gears of war. Come onnnnn!!!!! But they do make me laugh :)
On IMDB said marble city costed this much to make $18,000,000 (estimated) well somewhere around that since it is estimated, but still with that much cash you can afford to make a decent cool poster WTF? Like seriously nick cage looks like a fuckin video game character out of gears of war. Come onnnnn!!!!! But they do make me laugh :)
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4:21PM on 05/19/2012

Oh damn it...

I thought this was just a dream then I woke up and oh shitttt it wasn't.
I thought this was just a dream then I woke up and oh shitttt it wasn't.
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4:04PM on 05/19/2012
The poster for the Wild Side says absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
The poster for the Wild Side says absolutely nothing, nothing at all.
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2:51PM on 05/19/2012
Those Nic Cage posters cannot be real. They all look like parody posters. I refuse to believe they're at all legitimate.
Those Nic Cage posters cannot be real. They all look like parody posters. I refuse to believe they're at all legitimate.
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+8
2:45PM on 05/19/2012

"From Revenge Comes Peace"

That's fucking hilarious
That's fucking hilarious
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12:40PM on 05/19/2012
There is no way that Marble City poster is real. C'mon... really?! I can't believe it.
There is no way that Marble City poster is real. C'mon... really?! I can't believe it.
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9:50AM on 05/19/2012
all of these suck. i HATE crappy movie posters. they have all this money to put into marketing but they let their kids do the posters.

second, a BOW & ARROW can easily defeat a GUN. depends on the guy with the bow. talk to hawkeye about that sometime.
all of these suck. i HATE crappy movie posters. they have all this money to put into marketing but they let their kids do the posters.

second, a BOW & ARROW can easily defeat a GUN. depends on the guy with the bow. talk to hawkeye about that sometime.
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8:51AM on 05/19/2012

lol

that dredd is awsome :D
that dredd is awsome :D
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6:57AM on 05/19/2012
Nicolas Cage's Marbles!
Nicolas Cage's Marbles!
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2:52AM on 05/19/2012

LOL WTF...

is up with those damn posters LOL
is up with those damn posters LOL
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1:13AM on 05/19/2012
Way to go blaming the festival for these posters, without even mentioning that these movies DO NOT PLAY AT THE FESTIVAL. They're just posters. They're not part of the official scheduling in any way. You'd be surprised to know that most movies actually selected at Cannes are of good or very good quality.
Way to go blaming the festival for these posters, without even mentioning that these movies DO NOT PLAY AT THE FESTIVAL. They're just posters. They're not part of the official scheduling in any way. You'd be surprised to know that most movies actually selected at Cannes are of good or very good quality.
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+14
12:42AM on 05/19/2012
Wait... you mean those Nic Cage movies are real? Bahahaha
Wait... you mean those Nic Cage movies are real? Bahahaha
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10:49PM on 05/18/2012
Cannes used to be such a great festival before it became Hollywood's bitch
Cannes used to be such a great festival before it became Hollywood's bitch
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+13
9:46PM on 05/18/2012
That last poster? I want that on my wall. NOW.
That last poster? I want that on my wall. NOW.
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8:27PM on 05/18/2012

lol

how about this one?
[link]
how about this one?
[link]
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+1
8:02PM on 05/18/2012
Are we sure these are the real deal?
Are we sure these are the real deal?
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7:55PM on 05/18/2012
Nicholas Cage executes Marble City? More like his A-list career! LOLAMIRITE???
Nicholas Cage executes Marble City? More like his A-list career! LOLAMIRITE???
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+9
6:14PM on 05/18/2012
Jesus! How many upcoming films is Nic Cage in?!
Jesus! How many upcoming films is Nic Cage in?!
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+3
6:11PM on 05/18/2012

I wanna see

Marble City right now it looks hilarious. Besides I have actually seen 3 films from the director and they where good fun.
Marble City right now it looks hilarious. Besides I have actually seen 3 films from the director and they where good fun.
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6:05PM on 05/18/2012

Oh and the Killing Season's tagline should be:

"The Ultimate Happy Ending"
"The Ultimate Happy Ending"
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6:04PM on 05/18/2012
No one finds it funny how "Stolen" seems quite similar to "Taken"? haha
No one finds it funny how "Stolen" seems quite similar to "Taken"? haha
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+16
6:00PM on 05/18/2012
Why are you hating on the Marble City one so much? That poster is HILARIOUS!
Why are you hating on the Marble City one so much? That poster is HILARIOUS!
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+2
5:53PM on 05/18/2012
haha.. the first poster should be named Cross-eyed: the ultimate form of war is shooting arrows sideways
haha.. the first poster should be named Cross-eyed: the ultimate form of war is shooting arrows sideways
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+18
5:19PM on 05/18/2012

is it wrong

that i want that Marble City poster?
that i want that Marble City poster?
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5:10PM on 05/18/2012

When the hell will a bow and arrow defeat a gun?

Did you not see Deliverance?

But yeah, those are some hilariously bad posters for the most part. And I'm pretty sure that was a Rambo poster.
Did you not see Deliverance?

But yeah, those are some hilariously bad posters for the most part. And I'm pretty sure that was a Rambo poster.
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6:40AM on 05/19/2012
I'm also reminded of the Steve Austin movie 'Hunt To Kill'.
I'm also reminded of the Steve Austin movie 'Hunt To Kill'.
5:03PM on 05/18/2012

LOL hahahaha...

That last poster just made my day :D ...Thanks JoBlo for such an unexpected entertainment!
That last poster just made my day :D ...Thanks JoBlo for such an unexpected entertainment!
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+15
4:58PM on 05/18/2012
Based on the poster of Marble City, I'll assume the story takes place in the future, where older men have their heads surgically re-attached to younger, more muscular bodies. You know, like how the martians put Sarah Jessica Parker's head on a dog in Mars Attacks.
Based on the poster of Marble City, I'll assume the story takes place in the future, where older men have their heads surgically re-attached to younger, more muscular bodies. You know, like how the martians put Sarah Jessica Parker's head on a dog in Mars Attacks.
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4:45PM on 05/18/2012

whoa

after the Bangkok Dangerous poster i never thought a Cage poster would be able to out do it in its horribleness, but i was wrong....i was oh so wrong
after the Bangkok Dangerous poster i never thought a Cage poster would be able to out do it in its horribleness, but i was wrong....i was oh so wrong
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+1
4:45PM on 05/18/2012

these are all awful

except for the Nicole Kidman one... and I really don't like Nicole Kidman.

What the hell? For such talent involved you think the studio / producers / whoever would dish a LITTLE money to the marketing department...

P.S. you didn't even include the best poster from your source! [link]
except for the Nicole Kidman one... and I really don't like Nicole Kidman.

What the hell? For such talent involved you think the studio / producers / whoever would dish a LITTLE money to the marketing department...

P.S. you didn't even include the best poster from your source! [link]
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