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C'mon Hollywood #157

04.15.2008

... get a haircut Nic Cage!
by Sturdy

Being in a line of work that requires me to be clean shaven with a nice hair cut in order to look professional, I often times envy those that get to grow their hair out and go a few days without shaving. I always threaten to grow my hair out like the 90ís Steven Seagal; slick it back with a pony tail. Because as you know, that looks awesome. Unfortunately, everyone says Iíd look like a 12 year old girl, so Iíve never had the guts to actually do it. Iíve noticed some actors in Hollywood have started wearing their hair long for movies and for the life of me, I canít figure out why.


Who wasnít distracted by Tomís hair in DA VINCI CODE?

I think Nicolas Cage is the biggest violator of the ďno long hair for balding old menĒ rule. I donít want to say heís too old to wear his hair long, because some older guys can pull it off. The problem is that his balding, receding hair line makes him look like he should be singing in Crosby, Stills and Nash. A great band for sure, but not the examples of fashion todayís Hollywood stars should look to. I actually like Nic Cage as an actor, so itís with the utmost respect that I ask that he please get a haircut!


Do they not give haircuts in prison?

There are definitely roles out there that would require a balding, middle-aged man to have his hair long. Itíd be appropriate if he was playing a guy in a coma, or a cave man, or maybe he was just a damn hippie. So with some possible exceptions, thereís not much of a reason for Nic Cage to walk around with long hair. Running quickly over his resume, you can see that for several roles, he had his hair long. It was fine when he was playing a twenty-something loser in films like PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED or RAISING ARIZONA, but those were the 80ís and Nic Cage was actually close to being twenty-something. Now that heís pushing 50, itís getting a little embarrassing.


So did he steal a dog or not?

Take NEXT for example. Why did his character have long hair? Is it supposed to make him look younger? It doesnít. Instead, it makes him look like an old guy trying to be young, which is worse than just being old. Forget for a second that the movieís plot felt like it was structured by a fifth grader, the bigger problem was with Nicís hair. It was practically a supporting actor. Was that supposed to be the trick for the audience to accept Cage and Biel together?


No matter how hard you try, you canít turn back time.

Now we have the upcoming BANGKOK DANGEROUS, where Nic Cageís long hair and receding hair line make their glorious comeback. Here, he plays a hit man that gets personally attached to a victim. This is a great plot because I was just thinking how few movies there are where the hit man gets attached to a victim. Itís been at least three weeks since Iíve seen one. But I digress. The point is Nic Cageís hair looks ridiculous and out of placeÖagain.


Just cut your hair!

Is it just me, or is his hair thinning out also? So now his hair is getting thinner AND falling out. Couple that with the receding hair line and heís practically turned into George Costanza. Nic has held on to his long hair for several years past what he should have. Now is the time to get a hair cut and let nature take its course. Heís still a fine actor that makes some decent movies. Itís just now he needs to make them with short hair.

Tags: Hollywood

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