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C'mon Hollywood #227

Oct. 27, 2009by:

...know a good script when you see one!
by J.A. Hamilton

When the concept of “early script reviews” hit the net I was as enthralled by the idea as everyone else. I mean, who WOULDN’T want a sneak peek at one of their upcoming favorite films? Problem is, every time I DO look into a future favorite, get excited as all hell by what I see and start crossing off the days on my calendar; the powers that be seem to swoop in like bloodthirsty pirates and sink my battleship. Of the script drafts I’m about to share with you (a couple you’ll no doubt have heard of, the other two maybe not), it surprised the shit out of me that Justin Marks (the dude who wrote the asstacular STREET FIGHTER: THE LEGEND OF CHUN LI) was the man behind a couple of them. What isn’t surprising however is that people chose to run with his shitty screenplay over the two good ones. F*cking typical.

Thanks to MATTEL this movie is in ruins

The first one to completely blow me away was Marks’ He-man script, GRAYSKULL: THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. This thing was a He-man fan’s dream come true, which can be derived from description: This is LORD OF THE RINGS meets THE MATRIX with a little BATMAN BEGINS thrown in for good measure. Now that’s a threesome I’d be more than willing to pay for. This script was serious take on the mythology; taking place on ETERNIA where we get the origin of He-man, Skeletor and THE POWER SWORD. There was absolutely no cheese on this pizza pie, and the story is a small piece of heaven with a tight, competent mix of both Fantasy and Sci-Fi genres. I suggest you look it up and read it if you have even a shred of love for the material, and I guarantee you’ll be hooked once you start reading EVIL-LYN’s narrated prologue.

I prefer Voltron to Transformers

Marks’s other script of interest is for VOLTRON. I loved the VOLTRON cartoon as a kid (the lion one, not the silly-ass car one), and after the success of the first TRANSFORMERS, I knew it was only a matter of time before we saw this big guy in action. Marks did his best with this script, a concept that was utterly destroyed by the invention of THE POWER RANGERS. This script does the show justice however, giving us a post-apocalyptic world overrun by an alien race with the cartoon’s iconic Robeats (giant robotic monsters who use our technology to heal themselves when damaged) roaming around and kicking ass. Keith, Lance, Hunk, Allura and Pidge are all here, albeit a bit different than we remember them, but here nonetheless. There’s no official word yet on whether or not they intend to use this script, which in my opinion is one of the ONLY ways this film would work and/or make sense on the big screen.

I could see Triple H as Conan

Another fantastic script came in the form of the new CONAN movie that we’ve been hearing bits and pieces about for months. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this remake at first as Arnold’s CONAN THE BARBARIAN will always have a large place in my heart. Thankfully Crom heard my prayers because Conan’s latest adventure is chalked to the brim with hacked off limbs, magical creatures, nudity, swordplay, drunkenness and plenty of 300-style action to fill your boots! Everything a CONAN movie SHOULD be as far as I’m concerned. The script is amazing, and as long as they find a decent enough replacement for Arnold (by far the most difficult part of this endeavor), we’re golden. Again, no solid word yet on if this script is “Yay” or “Nay” but they’d be stupid if they didn’t go with it as it’s EXACTLY what die hard Conan fans want.

I'm DEFINITELY up for another rumble in the jungle!

Last but not least, we have Robert Rodriguez’ PREDATORS script which is taking everyone (myself included) by storm. By now you probably already know the story; a group of humanity’s bad to the bone Riddick types get dumped into the deadly jungles of the Predator home planet. And if that wasn’t crazy enough, they’ll have to contend with more than just your average Predators, as there’s a Super Predator roaming those jungles as well (as much as I’m hoping Derek Mears will get some “face time”, he would be PERFECT as the Super Predator). Sometimes I wish I could be sitting at the executive table during these script judging meetings to see how in hell these studios justify some of the bullshit we see on screen. Though the GREYSKULL script will forever haunt me with visions of what “could have been”, I’m happy that at least two of these scripts seem to have gotten the green light. Either way, Hollywood needs to stop f*cking around when it comes to great scripts.
Extra Tidbit: Hollywood’s also wrestling with a THUNDERCATS movie script. My advice? Shoot it EXACTLY like Tim Burton did the PLANET OF THE APES remake and we’ll be in for a treat.
Source: JoBlo.com
Tags: Hollywood

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7:57AM on 10/27/2009

Man...

Grayskull would have been badass...
Grayskull would have been badass...
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11:32AM on 10/27/2009
I agree, that sounds fucking awesome!
I agree, that sounds fucking awesome!
8:21AM on 10/27/2009

WTF???

I can't believe they would go for Voltron over Grayskull!! and for the extra tidbit, I think thudercats would work Shot like Apes, but i think it would look better Shot/CGI like Avatar!
I can't believe they would go for Voltron over Grayskull!! and for the extra tidbit, I think thudercats would work Shot like Apes, but i think it would look better Shot/CGI like Avatar!
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12:08PM on 10/27/2009
But let me ask you this, would it look better as cgi like avatar, or would it be better with a very good make up artist altering tidbits of the body to make them resemble the cartoon characters.
But let me ask you this, would it look better as cgi like avatar, or would it be better with a very good make up artist altering tidbits of the body to make them resemble the cartoon characters.
+4
10:03AM on 10/27/2009
Personally I'm not so sure about Greyskull and Voltron, not only because I wasn't interested in them but because they are written by the guy behind Street Fighter, which was awful.

I'm looking forward to both Conan and Predators though, Thundercats would be awesome as well, but what do you mean when you say it should be like Planet of the Apes, I thought the general consencus was that that movie sucked?
Personally I'm not so sure about Greyskull and Voltron, not only because I wasn't interested in them but because they are written by the guy behind Street Fighter, which was awful.

I'm looking forward to both Conan and Predators though, Thundercats would be awesome as well, but what do you mean when you say it should be like Planet of the Apes, I thought the general consencus was that that movie sucked?
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10:10AM on 10/27/2009

Heck yes!

I'd argue this is one of the best C'Mon Hollywood's you've had in a while. Great work; although I hate you for listing actual scripts...I need to study for an exam! Arrgggh!
I'd argue this is one of the best C'Mon Hollywood's you've had in a while. Great work; although I hate you for listing actual scripts...I need to study for an exam! Arrgggh!
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11:50AM on 10/27/2009
Dammit, I know what you mean, now I have to go read them too.
Dammit, I know what you mean, now I have to go read them too.
10:53AM on 10/27/2009

The Road Less Travelled

Isn't it really down to producers trying to please "all the people, all of the time"? The illusion of a "safe" choice? "C'mon Hollywood" show us what we want and we'll love you for it!
Isn't it really down to producers trying to please "all the people, all of the time"? The illusion of a "safe" choice? "C'mon Hollywood" show us what we want and we'll love you for it!
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11:32AM on 10/27/2009
Those all sound pretty cool, too bad we won't see them all happen. I'm totally looking forward to Predators and Conan.
Those all sound pretty cool, too bad we won't see them all happen. I'm totally looking forward to Predators and Conan.
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11:45AM on 10/27/2009
By far this is the best C'Mon Hollywood column, especially for He-Man. Make a good one already!!
By far this is the best C'Mon Hollywood column, especially for He-Man. Make a good one already!!
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11:53AM on 10/27/2009

Votron

I don't really know much about Voltron but I would happy to see a movie about him as the concept sounds interesting.
I don't really know much about Voltron but I would happy to see a movie about him as the concept sounds interesting.
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12:07PM on 10/27/2009

Reaching the masses

I honestly don't know how they come up with their marketing strategies, but often times I find that they ruin th movies by trying to meet too get the approval of all the target audiences out there instead of marketing to a smaller few and putting out a better movie. Something like greyskull could be a very dark movie targeted to the generation that are now adults. I think if they put more focus and less PG'ish on everything, they would get those great scripts insead of the punisher like crap.
I honestly don't know how they come up with their marketing strategies, but often times I find that they ruin th movies by trying to meet too get the approval of all the target audiences out there instead of marketing to a smaller few and putting out a better movie. Something like greyskull could be a very dark movie targeted to the generation that are now adults. I think if they put more focus and less PG'ish on everything, they would get those great scripts insead of the punisher like crap.
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4:49PM on 10/27/2009
Fucking A right!
Fucking A right!
12:09PM on 10/27/2009

Reaching the masses

I honestly don't know how they come up with their marketing strategies, but often times I find that they ruin th movies by trying to meet too get the approval of all the target audiences out there instead of marketing to a smaller few and putting out a better movie. Something like greyskull could be a very dark movie targeted to the generation that are now adults. I think if they put more focus and less PG'ish on everything, they would get those great scripts insead of the punisher like crap.
I honestly don't know how they come up with their marketing strategies, but often times I find that they ruin th movies by trying to meet too get the approval of all the target audiences out there instead of marketing to a smaller few and putting out a better movie. Something like greyskull could be a very dark movie targeted to the generation that are now adults. I think if they put more focus and less PG'ish on everything, they would get those great scripts insead of the punisher like crap.
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-3
2:36PM on 10/27/2009

Greyskull

Okay I read the greyskull script and it's terrible. It's the worst thing i've ever read. Plus it steals the story of aladdin not lord of the rings, and it's trying to be hard and just comes off as silly and dumb. Any fan who likes it, doesn't like He-man, they just like the idea of the show but not the show itself which mixed humor and action. The script mixes crap and lame action scenes that don't really make sense
Okay I read the greyskull script and it's terrible. It's the worst thing i've ever read. Plus it steals the story of aladdin not lord of the rings, and it's trying to be hard and just comes off as silly and dumb. Any fan who likes it, doesn't like He-man, they just like the idea of the show but not the show itself which mixed humor and action. The script mixes crap and lame action scenes that don't really make sense
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8:41PM on 10/27/2009
Clearly YOU are NOT a He-man fan as no fan would ever think this script was horrible. I went and read it online after reading this article and it's everything a He-man fan could want. Trust me, I know, I grew up watching the cartoon and owned every action figure, Castle Greyskull and Snake Mountain.
Clearly YOU are NOT a He-man fan as no fan would ever think this script was horrible. I went and read it online after reading this article and it's everything a He-man fan could want. Trust me, I know, I grew up watching the cartoon and owned every action figure, Castle Greyskull and Snake Mountain.
2:36PM on 10/27/2009
also the evil lyn narration was horid! lol
also the evil lyn narration was horid! lol
-6
2:38PM on 10/27/2009

Greyskull

Okay I read the greyskull script and it's terrible. It's the worst thing i've ever read. Plus it steals the story of aladdin not lord of the rings, and it's trying to be hard and just comes off as silly and dumb. Any fan who likes it, doesn't like He-man, they just like the idea of the show but not the show itself which mixed humor and action. The script mixes crap and lame action scenes that don't really make sense
Okay I read the greyskull script and it's terrible. It's the worst thing i've ever read. Plus it steals the story of aladdin not lord of the rings, and it's trying to be hard and just comes off as silly and dumb. Any fan who likes it, doesn't like He-man, they just like the idea of the show but not the show itself which mixed humor and action. The script mixes crap and lame action scenes that don't really make sense
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4:44PM on 10/27/2009
Then clearly have bad taste, cause I just read it and it sounds awesome.
Then clearly have bad taste, cause I just read it and it sounds awesome.
4:47PM on 10/27/2009
I think all these scrips sound fantastic (Greyskull especially) and it's a shame the corporate execs seem to be clueless.
I think all these scrips sound fantastic (Greyskull especially) and it's a shame the corporate execs seem to be clueless.
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4:48PM on 10/27/2009
I think all these scrips sound fantastic (Greyskull especially) and it's a shame the corporate execs seem to be clueless.
I think all these scrips sound fantastic (Greyskull especially) and it's a shame the corporate execs seem to be clueless.
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5:44PM on 10/27/2009

Film Stars

Maybe this is the reason why "film stars" aren't what they used to be? It's not how many the movies reach but how much...
Maybe this is the reason why "film stars" aren't what they used to be? It's not how many the movies reach but how much...
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5:59PM on 10/27/2009
Marks' STREET FIGHTER script was a victim of needless tampering as well. It was a great old fashioned Hong Kong-style revenge story, but then they just assed it the hell up.
Marks' STREET FIGHTER script was a victim of needless tampering as well. It was a great old fashioned Hong Kong-style revenge story, but then they just assed it the hell up.
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6:46PM on 10/27/2009
Funny I thought this was about good script. When I think good script I dont think action pictures. Action pictures can have fun script, but you'll rarely see one good enough to get any award nomination.
Funny I thought this was about good script. When I think good script I dont think action pictures. Action pictures can have fun script, but you'll rarely see one good enough to get any award nomination.
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7:49PM on 10/27/2009
As always great article, and I always seem to find myself agreeing with you J.A :)
As always great article, and I always seem to find myself agreeing with you J.A :)
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+5
8:15PM on 10/27/2009
Great article, and I wouldn't worry about Greyskull. After the new one tanks, which it probably will, they'll need to remake it in the next couple years like everything else and maybe then Marks' script will get a shot.
Great article, and I wouldn't worry about Greyskull. After the new one tanks, which it probably will, they'll need to remake it in the next couple years like everything else and maybe then Marks' script will get a shot.
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8:34PM on 10/27/2009

*sigh*

Damn good article and I agree, but... I'd say the reason we're not going to be seeing Voltron or He-Man, at least in the form of these scripts, is for the exact reasons you loved them. Unlike Pred and Conan, which have a past of hard-R bad-assness, He-Man has Dolf and Bilbo Baggins playing a keyboard and Voltron has... Power Rangers: The Movie, I guess.

Unfortunately, the studios will want to make those gems kid-tastic Dragonball-esque movies, saving those that can be safely bad-ass for us.
Damn good article and I agree, but... I'd say the reason we're not going to be seeing Voltron or He-Man, at least in the form of these scripts, is for the exact reasons you loved them. Unlike Pred and Conan, which have a past of hard-R bad-assness, He-Man has Dolf and Bilbo Baggins playing a keyboard and Voltron has... Power Rangers: The Movie, I guess.

Unfortunately, the studios will want to make those gems kid-tastic Dragonball-esque movies, saving those that can be safely bad-ass for us. We'll always have our dreams though.
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-6
9:07PM on 10/27/2009

SnakeEyesOwns

No, I am a he-man fan. I also watched every cartoon, and own them. I also watch the new adventures and the 2003 version. I read all the books and still have most of them. I read all the comics even the shitty toy ones. I had all the toys and still do. So i'm probably more of a fan that you could ever be and the script is crappy! for a he-man script they just took the names and did a story that had little in common with the old one. As a script in general, the story is predictable and
No, I am a he-man fan. I also watched every cartoon, and own them. I also watch the new adventures and the 2003 version. I read all the books and still have most of them. I read all the comics even the shitty toy ones. I had all the toys and still do. So i'm probably more of a fan that you could ever be and the script is crappy! for a he-man script they just took the names and did a story that had little in common with the old one. As a script in general, the story is predictable and lame. The dialogue is cliched and boring and the action sequences feel like marks watched an old power ranger cartoon and was "blown away." So if you say you liked this script, i think you should rethink why you are a fan of he-man or are you just a fan of fantasy? So no i can't "trust you"
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