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C'mon Hollywood: Enough with teasers for trailers already!

May. 8, 2012by:

Last week there was a teaser for the trailer of THE EXPENDABLES 2 released, which featured Terry Crews grabbing his dick and yelling and screaming and then a bunch of explosions. In the middle of it, Crews comes back onscreen, letting us know that “Hell nah, now you know you got to have a trailer for the trailer now, son!” as if to reiterate the new stupidity that has infested the interwebs in a way that we should just accept it.

But let’s face it folks; teasers for trailers are straight f*cking bullshit and we don’t have to like it. I can accept a teaser trailer and actually quite enjoy them, but how in the holy hell can you justify a teaser for a trailer? It’s a numbers game, really. If people click on and view the teaser for the trailer then it generates buzz for the studio. It generates numbers. And I get it. Why wouldn’t a studio use that as a tool to gauge where they stand with their investment? Unfortunately, the people that suffer are the fans who endure the silly shit, like lab rats in an experiment.

Today, movie sites are the biggest they’ve ever been with more and more fans flocking to them to get their movie fix. And I love it. Having fans gather in one specific place on the web to share their passion about movies is awesome. It supports the fans and the industry at the same time. However, as web 2.0 grows there are certain things that can get obnoxious and annoying, with teasers for trailers taking the taco at the moment. Nobody had any idea that this trend would become the new norm.

We sold our souls for a few seconds of Total Recall and now we’re stuck with these f*cking things. Or are we?

I see the relationship between the Internet and movie studios as a mutually symbiotic relationship, much like Eddie Brock and Venom. They both thrive off each other. Most people realize that Hollywood is a business and they’re selling a product. I can appreciate that. And, in truth, I WANT Hollywood to make money. I want the industry to be booming. And why? Because I want more awesome movies! And awesome movies cost money, whether they’re an independent film made for ten grand or a $200 million comic book movie.

Naturally, when a studio invests that kind of money they want to see a return on investment so they’ll do just about anything to promote their film. With a teaser for a trailer generating thousands of hits, it’s just another layer of buzz. But, it’s also asinine, redundant, and a waste of the consumer’s time. There is a thing called mutual respect, both for the entrepreneur and the consumer. When you consider that we have become an audience that wants fast and succinct information in the digital age, you’d think that teasing a trailer would be left on the cutting room floor. Why waste our time?

Teasers for trailers are as bad as an untreated STD. They are probably THE most obnoxious trend to hit the web since websites that play music. And the thing is, Hollywood doesn’t need them to sell their movie. The TOTAL RECALL trailer was sweet as shit. The teaser for it didn’t get me jazzed to see the whole thing, it made me annoyed that they would even do that.

We talk a lot about nameless/faceless “Hollywood,” but the fact is the industry is chock full of all types of people working all types of jobs. Yeah, there’s some jackasses, just like there are jackasses in every industry. I don’t see “Hollywood” as the bad guy, I see them as a conglomerate of individuals creating a product. Call it entertainment, call it art, call it mindless dribble, either way it’s an industry and the industry needs cash to thrive. However, after more than a hundred years of making films, I like to think that they’re better than this.

There are a number of marketing gimmicks out there that are a-okay with me. Teaser trailers? Excellent. Official images? Nice. Character posters? Love ‘em. Web virals? Keep ‘em comin’. Live chats? Cool. Naked pics of Olivia Munn in a dressing room? Well, if you’re gonna twist my arm.

I think the end state here is that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Hollywood has come a long way in its marketing system and these teasers for trailers feel like a step backwards.

Simply put: Hollywood, you’re better than this. Can you please knock this teaser for the trailer bullshit off already?

Extra Tidbit: The irony isn't lost on me that I have included examples of these damned things in the article. However, I'm using them to reiterate how stupid they are. It's science.
Source: JoBlo.com

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1:36PM on 05/08/2012

Laudable, but futile

The practices around the promotion of films is a process, always evolving. And if you don't like teasers for trailers - strap on your helmet, because its only going to get worse. With social media, we are going to eventually see near real-time promotion of films at almost every step of the process, once principal production begins - maybe even before that. It's all about locking an audience - and the percentage of us who spend enough time following movie productions that we'll get turned off?
The practices around the promotion of films is a process, always evolving. And if you don't like teasers for trailers - strap on your helmet, because its only going to get worse. With social media, we are going to eventually see near real-time promotion of films at almost every step of the process, once principal production begins - maybe even before that. It's all about locking an audience - and the percentage of us who spend enough time following movie productions that we'll get turned off? Well, I'm afraid we're just acceptable collateral damage in the marketing behemoth.
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12:25PM on 05/08/2012

Get rid of them

It will save them money and save us time.
It will save them money and save us time.
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11:20AM on 05/08/2012
While there have been effective teasers of teasers (like the interview portion of the "Looper" teasers) this is really a mind-numbing trend. What is the difference between this and those obnoxious ET exclusive clips?

My suggestion, and it may be a controversial one for a movie site to take on, just don't promote them. I know it's your job to give us every bit of news on anticipated movies, but if they stop getting linked to on all the sites, the studio might take a hint that it's a fad that
While there have been effective teasers of teasers (like the interview portion of the "Looper" teasers) this is really a mind-numbing trend. What is the difference between this and those obnoxious ET exclusive clips?

My suggestion, and it may be a controversial one for a movie site to take on, just don't promote them. I know it's your job to give us every bit of news on anticipated movies, but if they stop getting linked to on all the sites, the studio might take a hint that it's a fad that needs to go away.
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10:54AM on 05/08/2012
"Teasers" for trailers annoy me so much that I lose any and all interest in watching the actual trailer when it finally comes out. I finally just saw the Prometheus trailer this weekend in front of the Avengers and I've yet to see the Total Recall one.
"Teasers" for trailers annoy me so much that I lose any and all interest in watching the actual trailer when it finally comes out. I finally just saw the Prometheus trailer this weekend in front of the Avengers and I've yet to see the Total Recall one.
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10:23AM on 05/08/2012
I'm not sure if this is the best C'Mon Hollywood I have ever read, as there have been tons and most of them are good, but it's the best in awhile, and I agree with every word. Well done, sir!
I'm not sure if this is the best C'Mon Hollywood I have ever read, as there have been tons and most of them are good, but it's the best in awhile, and I agree with every word. Well done, sir!
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9:15AM on 05/08/2012
subconsciously, I always agreed about this but never came to the cognitive statement of "I hate teasers of teaser trailers of trailers".. So I'm definitely happy someone verbally said it.
subconsciously, I always agreed about this but never came to the cognitive statement of "I hate teasers of teaser trailers of trailers".. So I'm definitely happy someone verbally said it.
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9:01AM on 05/08/2012
I absolutely agree 100%. This is a fantastic read, I've looked it over three times now and your points only become more and more valid.

The sad thing is, the teaser for the trailer thing will still happen - I think so anyway. If they choose movies with lots of hype like Total Recall or Twilight (ugh) people are going to watch it.

The suspense of watching a trailer disappears somewhat with the "teaser". Getting to see how Total Recall would look to fresh eyes was ruined somewhat by the
I absolutely agree 100%. This is a fantastic read, I've looked it over three times now and your points only become more and more valid.

The sad thing is, the teaser for the trailer thing will still happen - I think so anyway. If they choose movies with lots of hype like Total Recall or Twilight (ugh) people are going to watch it.

The suspense of watching a trailer disappears somewhat with the "teaser". Getting to see how Total Recall would look to fresh eyes was ruined somewhat by the teaser. And let's be honest, while The Expendables 2 seemed to be having a jab at this fad, all is featured was a bunch of explosions (although that may have been the joke). But parody may soon become reality.

"Hey, did you see the new teaser for the trailer for *such and such*. It had no real story, featured none of the actors but had lots of explosions!"

Seriously Hollywood. I respect what you do, but this whole teaser thing needs to stop. Or at least be smart about it.

Prometheus did it the smart way. With the Guy Pearce speech, then the feature of the Fassbander robot - that's getting us excited. Showing us something to get us pumped. There's a vast difference between smart viral marketing and sharing a few brief seconds.

In summation: FUCK TEASERS FOR TRAILERS!
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8:00AM on 05/08/2012
They either should just release either Teaser or Trailer and be done with it.
They either should just release either Teaser or Trailer and be done with it.
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+19
12:49AM on 05/08/2012

Agreed

But, you have to admit that Terry Crews' teaser trailer for The Expendables 2 was great. Terry is making fun of trailers for trailers, its basically a public announcement for their trailer in a few days in a comical way.
At least I thought it was funny
But, you have to admit that Terry Crews' teaser trailer for The Expendables 2 was great. Terry is making fun of trailers for trailers, its basically a public announcement for their trailer in a few days in a comical way.
At least I thought it was funny
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+14
12:31AM on 05/08/2012
Agreed. It's fucking stupid. We already have posters and teaser trailers to tease us enough as it is. Teasers for trailers are just pointless, especially "teasers" for teaser trailers. You're just prolonging the inevitable, might as well get it over with.
Agreed. It's fucking stupid. We already have posters and teaser trailers to tease us enough as it is. Teasers for trailers are just pointless, especially "teasers" for teaser trailers. You're just prolonging the inevitable, might as well get it over with.
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