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C'MON HOLLYWOOD: Stop selling out on Horror!

5 years agoby:

...stop selling out on Horror!
by J.A. Hamilton

Iím no Arrow (but then again, there can be only one) but I too need my regular Horror fix. Lately though, the battle for quality over quantity has been a losing one. My biggest complaint outside of watering Horror movies down via rating and unbecoming remakes is when we get teased by a worthwhile concept that makes for a killer flick like THE DESCENT for example, only to wind up with an encore that puts the ďhorrorĒ in horrible but for all the wrong reasons. Iím not against sequels, but what I canít stand are straight to DVD (or sometimes even theatrical) continuations of great films that completely ignore the source material that made them fantastic and end up destroying everything that made these films work in the first place.


Why the shitty sequel...WHY!?

Now because of this sad precedent, we Horror fans have to sometimes slip under the radar to find greatness. Yes, though I mentioned I dislike straight to DVD continuations that shame their predecessors, I will wholeheartedly assure you that this does not mean straight to DVD Horror flicks are all awful, far from it in fact. FEAST was one hell of a good time and one of the best straight to DVD Horror flicks Iíve ever watched. What made the concept fun and original was the comedic aspect of things brought home by the character bios that would pop up on screen when a new character was introduced. I laughed my ass off, but the laughter turned to tears when I got hold of the next instalment and found mediocrity instead of entertainment. I wonít even get into part 3 or the rumour of a 4 on the way.


I strongly recommend the first one.

There are legions of these films to found these days; BOOGEYMAN is another series that went too far in my opinion and whoever decided ANACONDA needed a fourth instalment should be stripped down naked, covered in honey and fed to snakes. What really gets me going is when you decide to make a sequel to THE CELL,THE RING or God spare us all, THE LOST BOYS and AMERICAN PSYCHO, the part of me that isnít mortified hopes and prays for something of interest. THE CELL 2 was terribly lazy and came off as a silly serial killer flick. The second RING movie abandoned the original concept for something else entirely, severely hurting the story. They should never have touched LOST BOYS (RIP Corey Haim), and though I love Mila Kunis, a small part of me died inside while watching AMERICAN PSYCHO 2.


I hope the snakes ate Hasselhoff.

Again, itís not as easy as pointing the finger at sequels and sayingĒ theyíre the problemĒ, nor can we simply blame direct to DVD fare. The SAW franchise is still hitting theatres every October and though I personally enjoy them, many people feel these continuations belong in my previous paragraph. And these theatrical ones can get hit just as hard by this problem, look at THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, a pretty solid remake, but then the awful continuation THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSCRE: THE BEGINNING came along. Granted, I enjoyed seeing how that hillbilly ďbecameĒ a sheriff (it never did add up for me), but all in all that film was terrible and completely ruined what the remake was trying to do. FRIDAY THE 13th was a solid remake and hereís hoping that the next one does it justice and my fingers are also crossed for THE NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET re-launch.


The poster looked cool...

Horror seems to go through the ringer far too often for my liking (or maybe Iím a little more sensitive to it because of my love for the genre), either way I feel that for every solid step forward, Horror (and Horror fans) get donkey punched a good five steps back. Suspension of disbelief can be a fickle thing, especially when it comes to monsters, supernatural elements and or regular human beings performing acts of a superhuman nature. Be that as it may, we Horror fans love the ride and despite these bumps in the road we keep coming back for more. I just wish a little more TLC could be mixed into the corn syrup and pigís blood to show us that the fans are appreciated and being looked after. Because Iím sorry, with everything thatís going wrong in Hollywood these days, taking away from the Horror pool is one thing that truly hits home for me and I hope Iím not the only one.
Extra Tidbit: And speaking of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE films, to this day Iím still thoroughly confused to the point of awe by THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION. I would love to hear what Matthew McConaughey had to say about that one after a couple drinks.
Source: JoBlo.com

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+4
7:56AM on 04/08/2010

TCM

TCM: The Beginning wasn't straight to dvd....
TCM: The Beginning wasn't straight to dvd....
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+1
7:59AM on 04/08/2010

...remakes???

Agree with most of rants here dude, but what about Horror remakes?
Its like being back in elementary school....if u copy someone elses work you were punished, why can't the studios follow the same simple rules

the spanish [REC] was a great film that slipped under the radar until Quarantine came along and shat all over the film.
Now we are getting a remake of Let the Right One In.... WHY DO THIS!! they should spend money trying to make great original horror movies. Not copy something
Agree with most of rants here dude, but what about Horror remakes?
Its like being back in elementary school....if u copy someone elses work you were punished, why can't the studios follow the same simple rules

the spanish [REC] was a great film that slipped under the radar until Quarantine came along and shat all over the film.
Now we are getting a remake of Let the Right One In.... WHY DO THIS!! they should spend money trying to make great original horror movies. Not copy something already done
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8:25AM on 04/08/2010
Wrong Turn 2 is a exception to the rule,but do they have be so bad and cheapen the original.
Wrong Turn 2 is a exception to the rule,but do they have be so bad and cheapen the original.
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9:11AM on 04/08/2010
The Friday the 13th remake was NOT a solid movie.

Also, I believe Kru3ger is right.
The Friday the 13th remake was NOT a solid movie.

Also, I believe Kru3ger is right.
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9:14AM on 04/08/2010

Horror

I would agree for the most part with this article. However it did focus on the negative more than the positive. Some great remakes were TCM, The Amityville Horror, The Last House on the Left and Halloween. All were great remakes. Yes for the most part we get crap like Quarantine...which should have been called 28 DAYS LATER 1.5 but lets give credit where credit is due. Also TCM:The Beginning was not a direct to DVD release.
I would agree for the most part with this article. However it did focus on the negative more than the positive. Some great remakes were TCM, The Amityville Horror, The Last House on the Left and Halloween. All were great remakes. Yes for the most part we get crap like Quarantine...which should have been called 28 DAYS LATER 1.5 but lets give credit where credit is due. Also TCM:The Beginning was not a direct to DVD release.
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+1
9:36AM on 04/08/2010
Thumbs up.
Normally I'm open minded to remakes, sequels, even squeakquels. But remaking let the right one in is like re-painting a Picasso.
Thumbs up.
Normally I'm open minded to remakes, sequels, even squeakquels. But remaking let the right one in is like re-painting a Picasso.
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+1
9:48AM on 04/08/2010

Thank you! Make a Slade movie!!!

Well put! The bevy of shitty horror sequels just proves how shallow the studios are when it comes to taking a risk on a fresh idea or just going for the quick cash. There is plenty of great horror out there in the form of graphic novels as well as popular fiction ie. Koontz and Michael Slade (sick shit!!!). It's so easy and readily avail. yet the studios just keep rehashing shit!

NUMBER 1 HORROR NOVEL THAT WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING MOVIE: GHOUL by MICHAEL SLADE!!!
All horror fans should
Well put! The bevy of shitty horror sequels just proves how shallow the studios are when it comes to taking a risk on a fresh idea or just going for the quick cash. There is plenty of great horror out there in the form of graphic novels as well as popular fiction ie. Koontz and Michael Slade (sick shit!!!). It's so easy and readily avail. yet the studios just keep rehashing shit!

NUMBER 1 HORROR NOVEL THAT WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING MOVIE: GHOUL by MICHAEL SLADE!!!
All horror fans should check out his early works like Headhunter and Ghoul it's pleasantly demented!
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10:04AM on 04/08/2010
The Halloween remake was a crime against God. The original is a flawless masterpiece so therefore a remake was unnecessary, then the sequel actually managed to be even worse. I don't mind if there is something really original they want to try but the Halloween remakes took everything that was great about the original and replaced it with gore and even a bloody rape scene. You didn't sympathize with any of the characters as they were all just horrible white trash. Oh Mickey had a rough
The Halloween remake was a crime against God. The original is a flawless masterpiece so therefore a remake was unnecessary, then the sequel actually managed to be even worse. I don't mind if there is something really original they want to try but the Halloween remakes took everything that was great about the original and replaced it with gore and even a bloody rape scene. You didn't sympathize with any of the characters as they were all just horrible white trash. Oh Mickey had a rough childhood, oh well that makes it perfectly ok for him to kill EVERYONE then. Rant over. If you want a half decent original horror watch The Collector, that movie was cool.
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10:16AM on 04/08/2010
There are very few good horror movies. Sequels, remakes, or even originals. Its one genre that can never get it right.
There are very few good horror movies. Sequels, remakes, or even originals. Its one genre that can never get it right.
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10:32AM on 04/08/2010

Also want to say

TCM: The Beginning was not a STD
TCM: The Beginning was not a STD
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12:48PM on 04/08/2010
I was also gonna point that out, but you beat me to it.
I was also gonna point that out, but you beat me to it.
12:40PM on 04/08/2010
I was just going to comment on that myself
I was just going to comment on that myself
11:11AM on 04/08/2010
I'm not sure what you're talking about here. Are you bashing sequels, direct to DVD sequels, terrible sequels, watered down horror or Hollywood for ruining great stories?

And I'm sorry but I can't get behind an article that calls the TCM remake solid.
I'm not sure what you're talking about here. Are you bashing sequels, direct to DVD sequels, terrible sequels, watered down horror or Hollywood for ruining great stories?

And I'm sorry but I can't get behind an article that calls the TCM remake solid.
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5:00PM on 04/08/2010
I also thought the remake was well done.
I also thought the remake was well done.
2:10PM on 04/08/2010
What exactly don't you get about the article, it's meant to attack shitty STD sequels of good films. And even though the TCM remake doesn't hold a candle to the original, it itself, judged on its own merits, is not a bad movie.
What exactly don't you get about the article, it's meant to attack shitty STD sequels of good films. And even though the TCM remake doesn't hold a candle to the original, it itself, judged on its own merits, is not a bad movie.
12:42PM on 04/08/2010
What was wrong with the TCM remake? I personally thought they did a great job
What was wrong with the TCM remake? I personally thought they did a great job
+5
11:20AM on 04/08/2010
lol @ david hasselhoff- anaconda offspring.
sounds like his own brand of tropical malt liquor.
lol @ david hasselhoff- anaconda offspring.
sounds like his own brand of tropical malt liquor.
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11:46AM on 04/08/2010
The problem is not remakes or sequels in and off themselves. Some DVD sequels (Wrong Turn 2, Boogeyman 2) are vastly superior to the theatrical original. Some remakes are better than the original (or at least improve upon them). The problem is laziness, pure and simple. You can tell when something is merely cashing in. It's all about the ambition and quality and not about whether something is a remake, sequel or PG-13. This problem infects all genres as well, not just horror.
The problem is not remakes or sequels in and off themselves. Some DVD sequels (Wrong Turn 2, Boogeyman 2) are vastly superior to the theatrical original. Some remakes are better than the original (or at least improve upon them). The problem is laziness, pure and simple. You can tell when something is merely cashing in. It's all about the ambition and quality and not about whether something is a remake, sequel or PG-13. This problem infects all genres as well, not just horror.
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11:49AM on 04/08/2010
be careful what you wish for, apparently Matthew McConaughey likes to strip naked and play the bongos when's he's in altered states of mind.
be careful what you wish for, apparently Matthew McConaughey likes to strip naked and play the bongos when's he's in altered states of mind.
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11:59AM on 04/08/2010
Anaconda 3: Offspring was hilariously bad. It's been playing on SciFi (I refuse to use their new "name") lately. And sorry to say, the Hoff does not get eaten by snakes. He does get shot in the leg while in an old factory surrounded by a nest of baby snakes. The heroine sets a timer on a bomb and walks out. Then in his hamburger eating glory, the Hoff attempts to crawl across the floor of the factory toward the bomb to stop it (maybe even eat it). Sadly in the movie he doesn't make it to the
Anaconda 3: Offspring was hilariously bad. It's been playing on SciFi (I refuse to use their new "name") lately. And sorry to say, the Hoff does not get eaten by snakes. He does get shot in the leg while in an old factory surrounded by a nest of baby snakes. The heroine sets a timer on a bomb and walks out. Then in his hamburger eating glory, the Hoff attempts to crawl across the floor of the factory toward the bomb to stop it (maybe even eat it). Sadly in the movie he doesn't make it to the bomb and goes boom, but in his youtube glory he successfully eats the burger.
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12:10PM on 04/08/2010
Well said.

I did a write up of the Wishmaster films recently and quite frankly, I can't remember watching a series take a nosedive quicker than this one. The first one was good but the sequel was direct to video garbage and the other two didn't even go to video first, they went straight to cable!
Well said.

I did a write up of the Wishmaster films recently and quite frankly, I can't remember watching a series take a nosedive quicker than this one. The first one was good but the sequel was direct to video garbage and the other two didn't even go to video first, they went straight to cable!
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+1
12:35PM on 04/08/2010

Some New Original Horror

I Didn't Come Here To Die, low-budget indie horror just starting to make the festival circuit. Looks cool. Trailer Link: [link]
I Didn't Come Here To Die, low-budget indie horror just starting to make the festival circuit. Looks cool. Trailer Link: [link]
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12:37PM on 04/08/2010
Yeah, the Horror genre has been back and forth lately and I hope we bounce back from it but the money/ratings war going on is making it a hard battle.
Yeah, the Horror genre has been back and forth lately and I hope we bounce back from it but the money/ratings war going on is making it a hard battle.
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+3
12:46PM on 04/08/2010
I got another one for you, even though it's a movie that's only "sort-of" horror... "S. Darko", the utterly shitty, unneeded, unwanted STD sequel to "Donnie Darko."
I got another one for you, even though it's a movie that's only "sort-of" horror... "S. Darko", the utterly shitty, unneeded, unwanted STD sequel to "Donnie Darko."
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+1
12:48PM on 04/08/2010
EDIT: Sorry, double post.
EDIT: Sorry, double post.
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+1
1:52PM on 04/08/2010
I made the mistake of watching "Pulse 2", after I saw, and liked the first one. It looked like a Sci-Fi pictures original, and that's not a good thing. Won't even bother with the 3rd part.
I made the mistake of watching "Pulse 2", after I saw, and liked the first one. It looked like a Sci-Fi pictures original, and that's not a good thing. Won't even bother with the 3rd part.
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1:54PM on 04/08/2010
The Hoff in an ANACONDA movie?

Yeah, I need to watch that immediately.
The Hoff in an ANACONDA movie?

Yeah, I need to watch that immediately.
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3:15PM on 04/08/2010
Loved Feast, but hate how it went downhill. They're really making a part 4...that IS scary.
Loved Feast, but hate how it went downhill. They're really making a part 4...that IS scary.
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+4
4:00PM on 04/08/2010

A-MEN!

I'm with you. These examples show what disdain studio execs have for the genre. The problem may be that good directors cut their teeth in these low budget horror flicks, get discovered and move on to more main stream fair. Then the studios toss these franchises down to the rejects who should be directing porn...
I'm with you. These examples show what disdain studio execs have for the genre. The problem may be that good directors cut their teeth in these low budget horror flicks, get discovered and move on to more main stream fair. Then the studios toss these franchises down to the rejects who should be directing porn...
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4:57PM on 04/08/2010
Lol, too funny.
Lol, too funny.
4:56PM on 04/08/2010
The saddest thing about it all is that it's gone on for so long, I have little hope that it'll stop anytime soon or at all. That's the real downer.
The saddest thing about it all is that it's gone on for so long, I have little hope that it'll stop anytime soon or at all. That's the real downer.
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-1
5:32PM on 04/08/2010

Tizay

FYI THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSCRE: THE BEGINNING did not go directly to DVD, i had the pleasure of walking out of the theater in the middle of it!
FYI THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSCRE: THE BEGINNING did not go directly to DVD, i had the pleasure of walking out of the theater in the middle of it!
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+2
6:06PM on 04/08/2010
I actually remember liking Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. Fact is, I own it and have only watched it once. I'm quite bummed about Cabin Fever 2, though. I love the first.
I actually remember liking Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. Fact is, I own it and have only watched it once. I'm quite bummed about Cabin Fever 2, though. I love the first.
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6:31PM on 04/08/2010

lemme have it if you will

but i enjoyed TCM: the beginning more than the first remake with jessica biel.
but i enjoyed TCM: the beginning more than the first remake with jessica biel.
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7:18PM on 04/08/2010
The best horror movies were always more about suspense than anything else, including gore. Sadly, most studios have forgotten this, but so have movie fans. I hardly ever watch a horror movie anymore, especially any direct-to-dvd crap. Liking bad movies is one thing, but if you are looking for quality in a direct-to-dvd film there is something wrong. Remember when the Oscars did the tribute to horror films this year, very few were horror films made in the last few years we've had more
The best horror movies were always more about suspense than anything else, including gore. Sadly, most studios have forgotten this, but so have movie fans. I hardly ever watch a horror movie anymore, especially any direct-to-dvd crap. Liking bad movies is one thing, but if you are looking for quality in a direct-to-dvd film there is something wrong. Remember when the Oscars did the tribute to horror films this year, very few were horror films made in the last few years we've had more quantity than quality. They did include twilight for some reason (maybe b/c it is horror-ible).
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10:30PM on 04/08/2010

Best Horror I've Seen Recently

As in last 10 years
-Session 9
-High Tension
-Rec/Quarantine
-28 days later
-Funny Games (original and american)
-The Signal
-Dawn of the Dead
-Antichrist (cumming blood? ouch)
Way too much trash horror to sift through now a days, and ALL ghost movies are fucking gay.
As in last 10 years
-Session 9
-High Tension
-Rec/Quarantine
-28 days later
-Funny Games (original and american)
-The Signal
-Dawn of the Dead
-Antichrist (cumming blood? ouch)
Way too much trash horror to sift through now a days, and ALL ghost movies are fucking gay.
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