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Conan screenwriter tells what it's like to write a box office bomb

Aug. 24, 2011by: Paul Tassi

It's a thought that seldom occurs to us, but probably should. We as movie fans and critics are exceptionally quick to write off films as terrible, which may be true, but it's often ignoring the months or years and thousands of man hours it takes to get even a "bad" film made.

We dismiss in a few sentences what takes people a huge amount of time and effort to construct, and we seldom hear the other side of the story, a tale told by those who have big dreams for their projects only to see them dashed.

Sean Hood was one of the screenwriters who recently worked on CONAN THE BARBARIAN. Lackluster buzz and a critical drubbing implied that the film wouldn't exactly be a hit, and last weekend, the numbers matched that expectation, and then some. The film premiered with a mere $10M in receipts, debuting in fourth place, its total more than doubled by the low budget THE HELP.

In a Quora Q&A, Hood explains what it's like to deal with that sort of failure. Here are some particularly notable excerpts:

"The Friday night of the release is like the Tuesday night of an election. “Exit polls” are taken of people leaving the theater, and estimated box office numbers start leaking out in the afternoon, like early ballot returns. You are glued to your computer, clicking wildly over websites, chatting nonstop with peers, and calling anyone and everyone to find out what they’ve heard. Have any numbers come back yet? That’s when your stomach starts to drop.

By about 9 PM its clear when your “candidate” has lost by a startlingly wide margin, more than you or even the most pessimistic political observers could have predicted. With a movie its much the same: trade[s] call the weekend winners and losers based on projections. That’s when the reality of the loss sinks in, and you don’t sleep the rest of the night.

For the next couple of days, you walk in a daze, and your friends and family offer kind words, but mostly avoid the subject. Since you had planned (ardently believed, despite it all) that success would propel you to new appointments and opportunities, you find yourself at a loss about what to do next. It can all seem very grim.

You make light of it, of course. You joke and shrug. But the blow to your ego and reputation can’t be brushed off. Reviewers, even when they were positive, mockedConan The Barbarian for its lack of story, lack of characterization, and lack of wit. This doesn’t speak well of the screenwriting – and any filmmaker who tells you s/he “doesn’t read reviews” just doesn’t want to admit how much they sting."

I'm going to continue to criticize, as it's my job, but this really did open my eyes to the other side of the industry, and perhaps it did the same for you. Read the full answer over at Quora. Do you think we're too harsh on films in this country as a whole?

Extra Tidbit: I actually sort of liked CONAN, did any of you?
Source: Quora

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2:33PM on 08/25/2011

Well, what the fuck were you expecting when you said "Yes" to writing a 100% UN-necessary remake of a classic?

Yeah, call me an asshole all you want...but even the most diligent of genre movie fans (those who no doubt thumbs this down & who will STILL continue to bitch, moan, whine & complain about the over-abundance of remakes) would be able to see that remaking a movie as awesome & classic as Arnold's Conan was just a plain bad idea, doomed to failure from the start.

You know, god bless Batman Begins, Casino Royale & J.J.'s Star Trek for heralding the return of the big-budget/heavy returns reboot
Yeah, call me an asshole all you want...but even the most diligent of genre movie fans (those who no doubt thumbs this down & who will STILL continue to bitch, moan, whine & complain about the over-abundance of remakes) would be able to see that remaking a movie as awesome & classic as Arnold's Conan was just a plain bad idea, doomed to failure from the start.

You know, god bless Batman Begins, Casino Royale & J.J.'s Star Trek for heralding the return of the big-budget/heavy returns reboot flick. But not ALL franchises (and more to the point...not ALL studio exec's deep, greedy lust for reboot $$$) are ready, or good enough, for the reboot treatment. The studio heads, THIS screenwriter & the director should've known better.

So, to Mr. Sean Hood, (& to everyone else whining about the failure of a movie as un-needed as the Conan remake): How about you write a better script (one that is NOT a remake of a long-standing, much beloved action classic..or any remake for that matter) & this magical thing called "Word-Of-Mouth" will begin to make it's way thru the ears..& wallets...of film fans everywhere.
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12:58PM on 08/25/2011

Too Rushed

I seen the movie the day it came out. I thought it started out really well when he was a child. Then as the movie jumps to his adulthood it races quickly through the movie. Too quicly. Everything that happens seems too conveniant. I know it's a movie and it's not real, but It didn't seem realistic. Everything was too quick and clean. Needed to bring the gritty, grungy scenes, but never did. If there is a re-make I hope it goes dark and gritty like the original, and not a quick to
I seen the movie the day it came out. I thought it started out really well when he was a child. Then as the movie jumps to his adulthood it races quickly through the movie. Too quicly. Everything that happens seems too conveniant. I know it's a movie and it's not real, but It didn't seem realistic. Everything was too quick and clean. Needed to bring the gritty, grungy scenes, but never did. If there is a re-make I hope it goes dark and gritty like the original, and not a quick to theater action flick. Of course, that's just my opinion
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8:15AM on 08/25/2011

i didn't see it because conan wouldn't shut up and when he talked, he sounded like a pussy trying to be a tough guy.

conan should say maybe 10 words throughout the film. the rest should be him killing and fucking.
conan should say maybe 10 words throughout the film. the rest should be him killing and fucking.
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+1
5:13AM on 08/25/2011
When you're writing something, you can often overlook how well that's going to translate to film, especially on big budget projects like this. This failure is not his alone, and I hope it doesn't hurt his career, but people will say whatever they want about your movie if they don't like it, and there's really no reason they shouldn't.
When you're writing something, you can often overlook how well that's going to translate to film, especially on big budget projects like this. This failure is not his alone, and I hope it doesn't hurt his career, but people will say whatever they want about your movie if they don't like it, and there's really no reason they shouldn't.
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1:38AM on 08/25/2011

Didn't see it but

I wish the internet was around before I went to Conan the Destroyer? They got away with a lot of crap in the days when word of mouth was word of mouth. Sorry for this guy but we are living in a better world.
I wish the internet was around before I went to Conan the Destroyer? They got away with a lot of crap in the days when word of mouth was word of mouth. Sorry for this guy but we are living in a better world.
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10:58PM on 08/24/2011
When you write something this bad and don't even know it, then that says more than anything. He should have never done this interview because he could always blame someone else. Now, if I was a studio looking for a writer, I'd look elsewhere. Conan is a brain damaged film in every way.
When you write something this bad and don't even know it, then that says more than anything. He should have never done this interview because he could always blame someone else. Now, if I was a studio looking for a writer, I'd look elsewhere. Conan is a brain damaged film in every way.
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8:23PM on 08/24/2011
Loved the movie, hope there will be a sequel.

Oh and @ Stick Around! down below. I hope you do one thing that that people do not like and it gets stuck to you. Where you have to make a career change. Possibly be forced to move. Get alienated from all that know you just because of one thing, one choice you made that causes others to not like you. Oh, wait I really do not wish that on you or anyone, because I am no where near as big a piece of shit as you are. . . pond scum!
Loved the movie, hope there will be a sequel.

Oh and @ Stick Around! down below. I hope you do one thing that that people do not like and it gets stuck to you. Where you have to make a career change. Possibly be forced to move. Get alienated from all that know you just because of one thing, one choice you made that causes others to not like you. Oh, wait I really do not wish that on you or anyone, because I am no where near as big a piece of shit as you are. . . pond scum!
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7:32PM on 08/24/2011
I thought Conan was crap to be honest, but I can understand why this fella feels defeated in a lot of ways by the this films failure. I wouldn't want someone telling me that my work/writing sucked either.
I thought Conan was crap to be honest, but I can understand why this fella feels defeated in a lot of ways by the this films failure. I wouldn't want someone telling me that my work/writing sucked either.
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6:36PM on 08/24/2011
It's nice to see someone honestly express themselves on this point. I had some fun watching Conan. I didn't love it, but it wasn't horrible in my mind
It's nice to see someone honestly express themselves on this point. I had some fun watching Conan. I didn't love it, but it wasn't horrible in my mind
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6:34PM on 08/24/2011
I really hate this armchair critic mentality to tag something as a hit or a bomb, with no grey area. If this crap reasoning was true, 90% of the fluff from the 80's and 90's that people gush the fanboy fantastic about would not be that great.
I really hate this armchair critic mentality to tag something as a hit or a bomb, with no grey area. If this crap reasoning was true, 90% of the fluff from the 80's and 90's that people gush the fanboy fantastic about would not be that great.
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9:15PM on 08/24/2011
Sounds like someone who is butthurt about the bad reviews over something he hyped to be the second coming. A movie being called a BOMB is based on it's box office performance and guess what, this movie underperformed at the box office - hence it being called a bomb. Arnold's movie did better and I think that drives you nuts!
Sounds like someone who is butthurt about the bad reviews over something he hyped to be the second coming. A movie being called a BOMB is based on it's box office performance and guess what, this movie underperformed at the box office - hence it being called a bomb. Arnold's movie did better and I think that drives you nuts!
5:20PM on 08/24/2011
I had a blast with Conan, and so did the rest of the audience in the theater I was in. Hollywood puts to much pressure on movies to make money in there first weekend of release, it'll find its audience just give it time. Hell there was a group of kids in theater to young to have purchased tickets for an R rated flick so I'm guessing they bought tickets for something else and snuck in to Conan.
I had a blast with Conan, and so did the rest of the audience in the theater I was in. Hollywood puts to much pressure on movies to make money in there first weekend of release, it'll find its audience just give it time. Hell there was a group of kids in theater to young to have purchased tickets for an R rated flick so I'm guessing they bought tickets for something else and snuck in to Conan.
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4:55PM on 08/24/2011
I loved Conan. And since when does a box office total have anything to do with how good a movie is? Blade Runner bombed and it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. Look at Twilight. Those movies make billions and are some of the steamiest shits to ever grace the silver screen. Even fans of the material I know don't really care for them, but SOMEONE somewhere worked their ass off on the set, even if it was pulling cable or feeding the crew. Sean Hood should chin-up. He got to write a
I loved Conan. And since when does a box office total have anything to do with how good a movie is? Blade Runner bombed and it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. Look at Twilight. Those movies make billions and are some of the steamiest shits to ever grace the silver screen. Even fans of the material I know don't really care for them, but SOMEONE somewhere worked their ass off on the set, even if it was pulling cable or feeding the crew. Sean Hood should chin-up. He got to write a Hollywood movie, something millions of us dream about but will never do. I work in the film business (but not as a writer) and can vouch for just how hard people work. Hundreds of hours are often shot to only make a two hour film. The simple sweat-equity that goes into filmmaking is staggering.
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2:42PM on 08/24/2011
I haven;t seen Conan, but what I took away from this is Sean Hood is a name I never heard before. He's not Robert Orci or Brian Helgeland, who have writing credits on both good and bad movies. And if he's as unestablished as I think he is, then I am sorry for him, since some writers really suffer from a flop (someone like Helgeland can bounce back from Green Zone and Robin Hood underperforming, surely).

Having said that, a movie, like any work, can be criticized for its shortcomings quite
I haven;t seen Conan, but what I took away from this is Sean Hood is a name I never heard before. He's not Robert Orci or Brian Helgeland, who have writing credits on both good and bad movies. And if he's as unestablished as I think he is, then I am sorry for him, since some writers really suffer from a flop (someone like Helgeland can bounce back from Green Zone and Robin Hood underperforming, surely).

Having said that, a movie, like any work, can be criticized for its shortcomings quite easily. The same way we criticize politicians. An individual congressman might have a brilliant piece of legislature. But in order to pass, others weigh in, water it down, and suddenly it's an obomination. Good intentions don't always wind up with great results. When I see something really good, I try to recognize the collaborative greatness of it. Sometimes a movie fails only on one or two points, and sometimes it's a complete clusterfuck. Give credit where it is due, and move on, because there are too many movies in the world to defend them all.
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+13
2:32PM on 08/24/2011
At least he had the balls to explain what it feels like. props to this guy
At least he had the balls to explain what it feels like. props to this guy
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+4
2:17PM on 08/24/2011
No. I don't believe I'm too harsh when I criticize a film. I know every single person on set, every member of crew and production has feelings. I know everyone invests time and effort. The point is the end product. I can't be bothered to let the emotions of thousands dilute my opinion of the end product. Concerning myself with the emotions of the production team COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of the movie itself.
No. I don't believe I'm too harsh when I criticize a film. I know every single person on set, every member of crew and production has feelings. I know everyone invests time and effort. The point is the end product. I can't be bothered to let the emotions of thousands dilute my opinion of the end product. Concerning myself with the emotions of the production team COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of the movie itself.
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2:01PM on 08/24/2011

What a wasted read

I thought he would tell us why his movie was a bomb, not how he felt afterwards. Guess what, its life, its human nature to feel rejection, we didn't need an article about it. Tell us how you wanted better marketing, tell us it was a bad release date, but don't tell us you went home to cry about it.

The funny part is, you possibly just lost your company millions of dollars for fucking up, but guess what, you still have a job. Let me go to work late, or do something stupid, like not calling
I thought he would tell us why his movie was a bomb, not how he felt afterwards. Guess what, its life, its human nature to feel rejection, we didn't need an article about it. Tell us how you wanted better marketing, tell us it was a bad release date, but don't tell us you went home to cry about it.

The funny part is, you possibly just lost your company millions of dollars for fucking up, but guess what, you still have a job. Let me go to work late, or do something stupid, like not calling when I'm sick, and I'll lose my job which isn't paying nearly as much as you got paid to completely fail at yours.

Your first mistake was calling it Conan, you should have just called it something else, and not name the star Conan, and it probably would have done great. As a person who never read the comics, and only watched Arnold's movies, this guy don't look like Conan to me, and totally turned me off to seeing it. Or, you just should have made the Rock Conan's son and did a movie about that, and it would have made trillions...I know my wife would have wanted to see it....
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1:57PM on 08/24/2011
Conan was an utter piece of shit. In all areas of it's production. Hopefully this guy never writes for another film again.
Conan was an utter piece of shit. In all areas of it's production. Hopefully this guy never writes for another film again.
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+10
1:50PM on 08/24/2011
"Those who create are rare; those who cannot are numerous. Therefore, the latter are stronger."
"Those who create are rare; those who cannot are numerous. Therefore, the latter are stronger."
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1:40PM on 08/24/2011

Who gives a fuck if its a dud.

The movie was the most insane ballsy movie to come out of hollywood. Thank you for making it brutal and awesome and not some lousy movie with one scene of action and all talk like a fuckin tony scott movie. :)
The movie was the most insane ballsy movie to come out of hollywood. Thank you for making it brutal and awesome and not some lousy movie with one scene of action and all talk like a fuckin tony scott movie. :)
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+15
1:29PM on 08/24/2011

feel bad for the guy, totally

seems like almost ALL of the movie critics on MFC had a total blast with the movie though!

still, it didn't put up the numbers they wanted, which means we're going to get more movies like THE HELP and less movies like CONAN which is a crying fucking shame. Way to go america.
seems like almost ALL of the movie critics on MFC had a total blast with the movie though!

still, it didn't put up the numbers they wanted, which means we're going to get more movies like THE HELP and less movies like CONAN which is a crying fucking shame. Way to go america.
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1:24PM on 08/24/2011
I had low expectations for this film being a die hard fan of Conan it didn't look like it did the justice that amazing character deserves, but I enjoyed it for what it was. Was it terrible, hell no. It was nice to see Conan on the big screen. Just because it is not doing well at the box office makes it a bad movie. To me what makes a good movie if it entertains you which it did for me.
I had low expectations for this film being a die hard fan of Conan it didn't look like it did the justice that amazing character deserves, but I enjoyed it for what it was. Was it terrible, hell no. It was nice to see Conan on the big screen. Just because it is not doing well at the box office makes it a bad movie. To me what makes a good movie if it entertains you which it did for me.
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+12
1:16PM on 08/24/2011
I had no plans of going to see it because I pegged it as being not my type of movie. When I was giving a free pre-screening pass, I went and actually enjoyed it. It was a decent action movie. I would have even paid to see it!
I had no plans of going to see it because I pegged it as being not my type of movie. When I was giving a free pre-screening pass, I went and actually enjoyed it. It was a decent action movie. I would have even paid to see it!
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+10
12:51PM on 08/24/2011
There are dozens of films every year that are a lot worse than conan and become much more successful commercially. Compare it to the transforumers movies and Conan seems a shoe-in for the pulitzer prize. In a way it's almost like rolling the lottery. I've no idea why this film failed. It wasn't great, but it was far better than the Pirates and Transformers films that have been a lot more succesful at the box office.
There are dozens of films every year that are a lot worse than conan and become much more successful commercially. Compare it to the transforumers movies and Conan seems a shoe-in for the pulitzer prize. In a way it's almost like rolling the lottery. I've no idea why this film failed. It wasn't great, but it was far better than the Pirates and Transformers films that have been a lot more succesful at the box office.
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+10
12:49PM on 08/24/2011
I'm a big fan of sites like Joblo, as well as critics like Roger Ebert and James Berardinelli, so of course I have nothing against film criticism. Let's be honest, some films are bad!

But you can't help but feel for the people who put so much effort into making a film that just doesn't come together. I haven't seen Conan yet (I wanted to, being a fan of the original Howard stories, the original film, and Jason Momoa's turn on Game of Thrones), so I can't speak to its quality, but as an
I'm a big fan of sites like Joblo, as well as critics like Roger Ebert and James Berardinelli, so of course I have nothing against film criticism. Let's be honest, some films are bad!

But you can't help but feel for the people who put so much effort into making a film that just doesn't come together. I haven't seen Conan yet (I wanted to, being a fan of the original Howard stories, the original film, and Jason Momoa's turn on Game of Thrones), so I can't speak to its quality, but as an aspiring screenwriter, I definitely feel for this guy. Of course, what he needs to do is just pick himself up, take something from this, and try again. Everyone makes bad movies, after all, no matter how many good ones they've got. No reason to give up.
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+3
12:29PM on 08/24/2011

Man..

i didn't really wanna see Conan... it just looked like something that didn't NEED to be in theaters. I do think people are too harsh on films these days... as a future filmmaker I can only pray people aren't as harsh to me as that... :P
i didn't really wanna see Conan... it just looked like something that didn't NEED to be in theaters. I do think people are too harsh on films these days... as a future filmmaker I can only pray people aren't as harsh to me as that... :P
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12:20PM on 08/24/2011

I have mixed feelings

This was an elegantly written, poignant and personal look inside the mind of this one particular writer, proving he has an emotional depth and skill set that could aide a project. However, he wrote Conan the Barbarian and apparently wrote it to be pretty awful. I'm not sure what he was expecting. Maybe it's the fault of producers and studio execs that it turned out as it did? Who knows. I hope this guy is given a shot to write something more mature and intelligent, because he's clearly capable
This was an elegantly written, poignant and personal look inside the mind of this one particular writer, proving he has an emotional depth and skill set that could aide a project. However, he wrote Conan the Barbarian and apparently wrote it to be pretty awful. I'm not sure what he was expecting. Maybe it's the fault of producers and studio execs that it turned out as it did? Who knows. I hope this guy is given a shot to write something more mature and intelligent, because he's clearly capable of that. Maybe write a novel, dude?
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12:13PM on 08/24/2011

Ehh...

I'm an artist, and I know how hard it is when people don't like your work. And he works in an industry where the whole world will scrutinize every aspect of his work. But this article just kind of makes me a little mad because it sounds like he's making excuses for being a part of a bad movie. He works in an industry that I would kill to work in, and he's responsible for a crappy movie. It happens, don't make excuses.
I'm an artist, and I know how hard it is when people don't like your work. And he works in an industry where the whole world will scrutinize every aspect of his work. But this article just kind of makes me a little mad because it sounds like he's making excuses for being a part of a bad movie. He works in an industry that I would kill to work in, and he's responsible for a crappy movie. It happens, don't make excuses.
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12:17PM on 08/24/2011
You got it man! I am a writer - they are getting paid TONS of money! For what, Conan being a dumb brute swinging a sword and calling it a script?
You got it man! I am a writer - they are getting paid TONS of money! For what, Conan being a dumb brute swinging a sword and calling it a script?
12:50PM on 08/24/2011
Interesting. Reading his statements, I felt less like he was making excuses about the quality and simply talking about how much it hurts to see your work become a failure.

He wasn't blaming anyone else and he wasn't saying, "Well it was only bad because..." He was just saying that it sucks. Which everyone can agree with.
Interesting. Reading his statements, I felt less like he was making excuses about the quality and simply talking about how much it hurts to see your work become a failure.

He wasn't blaming anyone else and he wasn't saying, "Well it was only bad because..." He was just saying that it sucks. Which everyone can agree with.
12:52PM on 08/24/2011
Clarification: the "it" in my second-to-last sentence refers to having your works fail, not the film in question.
Clarification: the "it" in my second-to-last sentence refers to having your works fail, not the film in question.
11:51AM on 08/24/2011

Can't be easy

Criticizing works is what we all do, some people get paid for it. I don't want to say anything like "this dude should man up," or "critics should all go to hell." All I can say is when you put a piece of yourself out to the world you have to take all of the responses. I didn't hate Conan, but I didn't love it either. I sympathize with anyone dealing with failure, but I also can't help but wonder, where was all this emotion and depth when he wrote the script. Better luck with the next one.
Criticizing works is what we all do, some people get paid for it. I don't want to say anything like "this dude should man up," or "critics should all go to hell." All I can say is when you put a piece of yourself out to the world you have to take all of the responses. I didn't hate Conan, but I didn't love it either. I sympathize with anyone dealing with failure, but I also can't help but wonder, where was all this emotion and depth when he wrote the script. Better luck with the next one.
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+20
11:50AM on 08/24/2011
I do think people are becoming way to critical of movies. I have the keen ability to enjoy almost any movie for what it is (excluding Twilight, I can only do so much). If other people would learn to do the same I guarantee they would enjoy their time at the movies more.
I do think people are becoming way to critical of movies. I have the keen ability to enjoy almost any movie for what it is (excluding Twilight, I can only do so much). If other people would learn to do the same I guarantee they would enjoy their time at the movies more.
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12:16PM on 08/24/2011
I agree that every movie should be judged by what it should or should not do. Example, Army of Darkness is a fun movie. The humor is intentional, etc. But this Conan just wasn’t up to standards in story or characterization. Not sure who to blame, writers, directors etc. But these people are getting a lot of money, so I want to see good films.
You may argue that Conan is in the Army of Darkness genre – just a popcorn flick, well it really shouldn’t be. The first film, although not accurate
I agree that every movie should be judged by what it should or should not do. Example, Army of Darkness is a fun movie. The humor is intentional, etc. But this Conan just wasn’t up to standards in story or characterization. Not sure who to blame, writers, directors etc. But these people are getting a lot of money, so I want to see good films.
You may argue that Conan is in the Army of Darkness genre – just a popcorn flick, well it really shouldn’t be. The first film, although not accurate to Robert E Howards Conan, was still good and some depth. This one was just a B-action film – which is fine, on its own, but the character of Conan deserves better.
6:38PM on 08/24/2011
fanboy self-importance. Thats all what this hate is about. Still want to stomp anyone in the balls who thinks this is a remake of the Arnold film.
fanboy self-importance. Thats all what this hate is about. Still want to stomp anyone in the balls who thinks this is a remake of the Arnold film.
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